What is an Appropriate age difference in Thai/farang Relationships?

[ericthai]

If you look at the experience of others, dont marry an Asian. The old saying "no money, no honey" is very appropriate. Why would a nice girl marry a man her own age and live in poverty, whereas an older divorced farang man with enough money to keep her (& family) is what she had dreamed.

With money, you can get possible devotion, but dont bank on it.

Learn from the experience of others is the best advice.

I've been married for 12 years (she is 50 now) to a thai 20 years my junior and we live in the UK. But there is constant pressure from the family for monetary help, which they only get for a genuine emergency, which is 1% of the requests.

When you marry an asian you marry a family and all their commitments.

All depends on the girl and her family. I have dated several girls in Thailand that never wanted any money and would actually pay for things when going out. My wife never loans money to the extended family. She lets me know when they ask but she always tells them no without even speaking to me.

However I have also dated girls that thought I was an ATM, which those relationships never lasted long.

[crazydrummerpauly]

What the hell is a 'constant debate' ?

[rocketboybkk]

I think this topic has been covered many times & because of that I'll bow out

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[crazydrummerpauly]

You're joking aren't you?

Do you honestly think that a 20 something Thai lady would be with. 60+ farang man for love?

Come on now...

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Absolutely - i've been there, still am. But then i am gorgeous.

[Catoni]

I would say:

• The woman can be up to 5 years older (any more than that and sexual compatibility is likely to become a problem)
• The man can be up to 10 years older (any more than that and her desire to be with you is more likely to be based on security, rather than attraction)

Of course, there will be exceptions to this, but I think this is a decent guideline.

You could maybe add 5 years to each other those in some cases, but not more than that, except in rare cases.

The reason why a man can be a little older is due to the fact that women are attracted to different things in men, than men are i women.

Women are attracted to strong leaders, who are mature and confident, and who have a good social standing and are respectable. Being able to provide and protect also comes into it. Often, older guys have more of these qualities than younger guys. Our appeal can actually increase as we age.

Men, on the other hand, are only looking for the most fertile female. Hence, why most of us love long hair, big boobs and curvy hips. And hence why we aren't sexually attracted to a 90 year-old women...ever wonder why that is? A woman's appeal generally goes down as she ages. This is why women get insecure about there age, whereas men don't.

We have been wired this way since the caveman days. We look for the best mate. For men, it is simple: fertility. Women look for more complex things, so age comes into it less, but it is still a factor (to all of you guys who are old enough to be your wife's father).

Well... believe it or not, there are in fact some weird crazy men that ARE in fact attracted to elderly women... .

I have no idea why... I'm not one of those guys. But yep... there are some crazy guys that like old women.... Is there a name for them ? ?

And there are old women that love much younger men.

Those women are called "Cougars".

[Catoni]

My UK wife was 17 years younger than me, together 25 years, sadly her hormones kicked in, so that was that..

I assume you mean her hormone production shut down. In other words, her hormones didn't kick in. They stopped kicking altogether. Happens to every woman, and sometimes to men also as we age.

Take your wife to the doctor and see about "Hormone Replacement Therapy".

Hormone Replacement Therapy has saved a lot of relationships. It might not be too late.

Good luck ! !

[Catoni]

Why does it matter to you, or anyone else other than the two people involved?

It is a public forum, the OP asked a question, and people are entitled to their own opinions.

I, personally, think large age gaps look stupid, and a lot of people would agree with me, some would disagree.

With you, it has obviously hit a nerve.

I agree. I could care less what age gap there is between consenting adults, but when I see someone who is clearly much older with someone clearly much younger then I (naturally?) think there is a financial arrangement going on.

Although even then, it's their life.

I usually shake my head not so much because of the age gap, but more at the fact I'm seeing another overweight old white bloke with a dirt poor farmer's daughter.

Overweight ? ? If they are together very long.... it might not be too long before that guy loses a lot of weight. I quickly lost almost 25 lbs. in just a little over three months and was able to go off my blood pressure medication as my blood pressure returned to normal.

And my borderline diabetes disappeared.

That young woman might be good for the old guy's health. Adding years of healthy living to his life. No.... not a joke. Serious ! !

Edited February 9, 2016 by Catoni

[Linzz]

I have this same dillema right now. I'm 28 year old and the girl im seeing is 18. The age difference feels like nothing, because she is quite mature and I guess I am immature (still studying for my masters degree and planning doctorate). But to be honest it isnt something I would tell friends or family. I think regardless of your own age, anything under 20 just doesnt sound good at all for those back home. I'm hoping just to wait it out two years, 20 and 30 will sound much better.

10 years is fine! If the relationship lasts then you could end up being 90 and she 80. What is wrong with that? Note that as you age there is a reducing % differential i.e. when she was 10 you were twice her age, soon you will be a third older and when you're 100 she's only 10% younger

[Linzz]

While this topic has been done to death lets say that the reasons for couples to be together are many and varied. Should there be one strict model? Some marry for love others for convenience and any relationship can evolve into love or out of love or just remain a trade for mutual benefit. If one is receiving more benefit than another and there is an imbalance then it is up to the participants to decide if they are happy with that imbalance or not. Meanwhile a marriage of convenience can be a win/win stable and happy affair without the drama of "love" expectations and disappointments too.

There must be couples, he 70+ she 20+ which may to many appear unseemly who have kids and regret their idealism, while there would be some who consider it was the best thing they ever did. Marriages are as individual, mixed. many and varied as there are participants.

[Stygge]

I´m 60. My present gf is 21, carefully selected from a bunch of 20-27 year olds.
It works as a charm. Great feeling with a gf that doubles as a cute daughter.
The age gap and the cultural difference is huge and it wouldn´t work in the west but in Thailand the perception is different.
For any western man the cultural difference and language issue is the great gap.

In that perspective age difference is a minor matter.
Since I´m so old it doesen´t matter to me if they are 20 or 40, I´m still in another generation, so I might as well go for adorability and high fertility. At that age they also in general have a more positive outlook on life. She make me laugh all the time.
She works with logistics at Toyota motor company, earns decent money for a thai. No bars in sight here.
Maybe she has a daddy issue which in case is an excellent motivation for a long lasting relation. She is happy with me and only objects to excessive sex, but a mutual agreement of only twice a day and only fifteen minutes a time solves the situation. 23½ hours a day for other things leaves her content at the negotiating table. She is also starting to keep up with me at jogging and at gym but cannot be persuaded to join me scubadiving. Yet.
Visiting her lovely mom, 15 year younger then me, in her beauty salon, are always happy times. Gf turns to protesting daughter when we discuss her future. Later at night she turns from sulking daugther to a woman in my arms in a heartbeat. I like the contrast.
A thai characteristica is not making long term plans for the future. It helps our relationship. Here and now is a good philosophy in all relations. It also helps that age difference carries low stigma in Asia. Maybe it´s also helpful being a lawyer with a robust financial situation.
In all a good relationship.

[thehelmsman]

Why does it matter to you, or anyone else other than the two people involved?

The only guys who care what others think are the ones with the massive hang ups about how ridiculous they look

Agreed. And they should. Ask yourself if you really want to live in a world where no one cares about what other people think. I certainly don't.

It's a small man that cares what others think.

[Catoni]

What we're witnessing on this thread is the nauseating duplicity of the typical Thaivisa wheezer and God help you if you assail or criticise the retired sex migrant

Don't you just love all their "none of your business" posts?

Sorry but who gives a flying you-know-what if it's anyone else's BUSINESS?

It ain't our BUSINESS if a farang's living here on back-to-back tourist visas

It ain't our BUSINESS if a farang sells stuff on eBay while in Thailand without a work permit

It ain't our BUSINESS if a young guy finds a way to live on a pittance each month

Nevertheless, almost everyone on this forum has an opinion on those issues but the Jurassic boys would rather THIS topic - age-gap relationships - be considered "crossing the line" or "out of order".

Well, sorry but it isn't crossing the line and it isn't out of order.

A decrepit old man, in public with a young Thai woman he's obviously paying irreparably damages the image of Westerners in Thailand and hardens the attitudes of some locals towards us

It's got zilch, zero and nada to do with envy - I could easily pay a woman 20,30, 50K a month without even noticing it - I don't because I don't want to and, most importantly, because I don't HAVE to

If an old man wants to do that, fine - it's his (and her) choice - but if I think it's hilarious seeing a wheezer having to hop-skip-jump in order to keep pace with his 30 or 40 year younger teerak as she drags his ass around the perfumery or the jeweler, I'll laugh out loud along with almost everyone else who sees them.

If the topic comes up on here, I'll discuss it and pass judgment with as much careless abandon as the old boys do on matters which don't really concern THEM.

The point is that NO group - even those with with one foot in the grave - is immune or exempted from having the pi55 taken out of them.

That would be akin to political correctness and we can't have that, can we?

Wheezers, retired sex migrants, decrepit old man - a fair amount of stereotyping here.

I've noticed younger people who attack the elderly and their choices ignore the fact the elderly have a hell of a lot of life experience to assist them in making those choices. Those younger people are also terrified of growing old themselves. They haven't realised it's not about age, but quality of life.

How old are you? Because you still have a lot of growing up to do.

Sexism... racism.... anti-Semitism........all the other "..isms".

We see discrimination here against age....(old) race...(white) weight...(fat) and sex (man) ....and then we assume they haven't had a shower..(dirty)

And Ageism..... is alive and well in the world.. discrimination against men and women just because they grew old.

Didn't the old geezers realize they are supposed to be shut away from sight and die after reaching about 55 ? ? ?

Don't you DARE let yourself be with a 25 year old Asian woman...you dirty, old, fat, white man...

Edited February 10, 2016 by Catoni

[seancbk]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

[Rhys]

All that should matter is 6 inches or more..

[BookMan]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

Death or divorce?

Whichever comes first?

[BookMan]

I think if LOVE is involved it does not matter.

The problem is finding a Thai Lady that knows what the word LOVE means.

Sad but True.

I say this through experience.

Looks like you need to get out of the bars and get more experience, as there are plenty of Thai girls that know what love is.

Depends on individual definitions and belief of love

[Gutenberg]

As long as she is not under 18 and over 20 all will be fine.

[Gutenberg]

If am 60 I think I probably will enjoy younger Thai women but I am not sure if I want to accompany them outside of the bedroom.

[seancbk]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

Death or divorce?

Whichever comes first?

I was implying the old boy popping his clogs.

I'm expecting to follow my father's example and remain happily married to my beautiful wife until I die.

Edited March 10, 2016 by seancbk

[neverdie]

I try to believe it doesnt matter what others think, but I just cant accept that 100%. Whenever I see women with older men (more than 12 to 15 years of difference), I cant help but think it looks ridiculous. And when its me in that situation, I cant help but think theres something wrong with a girl that loves a man old enough to be her uncle, or her father. I guess I can only judge myself though. To each his own.

I always use to go out with older women, for some strange reason it kind of turned me on, you girly girls never did much for me and let's just say I've tapped the odd couger or two. I remember the odd, is this your son type comment when we were out and about....lol.

Many years ago I settled down with the current wife who just happens to be younger than me. On the odd Occassion over the years when I've been asked our age difference I've replied 12 years. It's actually a lie but 12 is an easy number for me to remember, the true gap is 11 years, 3 months.

Anyway, when we first met nobody ever asked our age difference and we were often told we were a good looking couple, however a few decades later I haven't aged too well and I know you'll find this hard to believe but I look like a real old baaastard......meanwhile the misses having rubbed about 46 million baht worth of beauty formulas into her skin actually looks really good and not dissimilar to what she did decades ago.....not sure it was worth 46 million baht though 5555555.

Anyhoooo, the point to the story is we often get asked now about our age difference now and people are shocked to see the difference isn't that great.....the numbers one that is, the rub crap into your skin and look younger verses my approach of mai pben rai, is a no contest......just keep ur cash and look like an old baaastard

[neverdie]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

My ex UK wife was 17 years younger than me, we were together for 25 years until her nasty hormones took hold........

Sheila's, you can't live with them, you can't live with them. Let's face it, if they were devoid of a certain body organ, all us blokes would throw rocks at em.

[SoiBiker]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

My ex UK wife was 17 years younger than me, we were together for 25 years until her nasty hormones took hold........

Sheila's, you can't live with them, you can't live with them. Let's face it, if they were devoid of a certain body organ, all us blokes would throw rocks at em.

You might. Some of us actually like them.

[neverdie]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

My ex UK wife was 17 years younger than me, we were together for 25 years until her nasty hormones took hold........

Sheila's, you can't live with them, you can't live with them. Let's face it, if they were devoid of a certain body organ, all us blokes would throw rocks at em.

You might. Some of us actually like them.

Mate you're running on half pumped tyres!

[neverdie]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

My ex UK wife was 17 years younger than me, we were together for 25 years until her nasty hormones took hold........

Sheila's, you can't live with them, you can't live with them. Let's face it, if they were devoid of a certain body organ, all us blokes would throw rocks at em.

You might. Some of us actually like them.

Mate you're running on half pumped tyres!

You should hold on real tight to that lady of yours, she's clearly a very patient woman

[Rob8891]

There's a 14 year age gap between Mrs R and her hansum hubby. People don't believe it and think I snagged an older woman.

[Rob8891]

Double post. Sorry - I was overcome for a moment.

Edited March 11, 2016 by Rob8891

[seancbk]

Its up to the couple yes, but both have to appreciate the larger the age gap the less likelihood of success in the long run.

If there is a large age gap it implies there won't be much of a long run anyway.

My ex UK wife was 17 years younger than me, we were together for 25 years until her nasty hormones took hold........

Sheila's, you can't live with them, you can't live with them. Let's face it, if they were devoid of a certain body organ, all us blokes would throw rocks at em.

I love beautiful women. You won't catch me throwing rocks at them, unless you mean diamonds in which case I'd agree with you.

There are only 3 things you need to do to ensure a happy relationship 1) Shower her with as much affection and attention as possible and 2) Work hard at keeping yourself fit and healthy 3) Never cheat.

[Muzarella]

My Aussie neighbor is 30, and his new wife is a 55 very young looking and slim Thai....and a millionaire.

He is 25 years smarter than myself.

[BookMan]

My Aussie neighbor is 30, and his new wife is a 55 very young looking and slim Thai....and a millionaire.

He is 25 years smarter than myself.

win win

she gets a toy boy

he gets a rich mom