Contemplating A Move To Thailand

[Trackbikes]

Hi,

This is my first post so please be gentle..

I notice from the posts here that most of the contributors have Thai wives or girlfriends, has anyone moved their non thai family from UK?? Will this cause problems?

Having just sold my computer consultancy I am considering moving to Thailand with my wife and daughter (10 y.o). Are there any ex-pat schools? I'll be looking to establish a business/take over a going concern. I am not looking to get rich quick just to improve our lifestyle.

any advice??

[davethailand]

should'nt cause problems, only if you are attracted to thai girls, there are some excellent international schools here, i live in pattaya by the way.

[kurgen]

Trackbikes,don't take advice from Dave. He starts to sweat when he gets near a playground.

[Pepe']

Trackbike,

You should really do some homework and spend some time there before making a descion like that.

How much time have you spent in Thailand?

Do you have a fair understanding of Thai social psycology?

Think about it...

[Trackbikes]

Trackbike,

You should really do some homework and spend some time there before making a descion like that.

How much time have you spent in Thailand?

Do you have a fair understanding of Thai social psycology?

Think about it...

Don't worry i am not going to pack my bags tonight and just turn up!!..:

Never been before..but then again i'd never been to France, cyprus, germany,Ireland or Norway before I moved there.

As part of my homework I'll probably come across for a few months and look for a business and do my research while my family stay at home, After working for 5 years without a holiday I could do with some time to myself!!

Cheers for the advice

[pnustedt]

As part of my homework I'll probably come across for a few months and look for a business and do my research while my family stay at home

You may love Thailand but your family may not - particularly your wife. Beware - Thailand is not good for established western families. Think about it - why do you think most of us have Thai wives or girlfriends?

[lopburi3]

Never been before..but then again i'd never been to France, cyprus, germany,Ireland or Norway before I moved there

Things do not operate the same here as there. Culture/business/leisure/home life/public actions/education/and everything else will be a much larger change than the countries you mention. It is hard enough for a Chinese business owner with family contacts to survive here. Unless you are first with a new idea I would not expect much profit. If you are first you had better keep it to yourself.

Do check closely and don't depend on me or any other one source for information. Get around and do your homework twice.

[meemiathai]

do my research while my family stay at home,

And your wife will let you?

[GuestHouse]

Trackbikes,

I have sent you an email and a link to some notes on issues that families moving to Thailand need to consider.

[NedKelly]

You sold your business but what about other assets ? I would advise against selling anything else. If you move here try to do it with the money from the business. Spending time here alone will be different from being here with family. An international school would be a must for your kids as that would take care of a large part of the free time activities hopefully. But they also have a lot of holidays so beware of that.

[thaihome]

You may love Thailand but your family may not - particularly your wife. Beware - Thailand is not good for established western families. Think about it - why do you think most of us have Thai wives or girlfriends?

That will certainly come as a surprise to the many of my colleagues that are here with their western families, and have been for probably an average of 5 years. As far as I can tell, their wives love it here and dread having to go back. The expat wife lifestyle ain’t bad.

TH

[GuestHouse]

Thaihome,

My experience of Thailand, living, working and raising a family in Thailand since 1992, is that it is superficially a good place for western families, but that most western women say they enjoyed their time there but are glad to leave it behind them.

Most exaptriate families I know regard ten years old (The age of the OPs daughter) the time when they need to return home for the benefit of their children's education.

The advice I give any couple wanting to move to Thailand is to sit down and discuss the reasons why they want to move to Thailand. Those reasons may not be the same, but they must be compatible.

I mmoved to Thailand with the support of the company I work for, a gauranteed income, pension, health care, car and insurance, education paied for and a job waiting for me back home when ever I decide to leave.

Moving by yourselfs is a huge undertaking and one that all members of the family have to commit to.

Part of that commitment is accepting doing the best for everyone, if it doesn't work out for one member of the family, how are the others going to deal with it?

OP, read the email I sent you and if you do decide to make the move, give yourself the best chance you can by moving with your family, on the same day, the same flight and arriving at the same time.

"A few months by yourself, is a recipie for disaster".

[GuestHouse]

Advice I give to People Thinking of Moving to Thailand

This was written for a specific couple so please forgive me if some of it is not relevant , but it is based on my own experiences of over eleven years of living and working in Thailand.

Hi,

I'm pleased to offer some advice, it will be a bit general and I'll include a lot of the downfall (it's never all good news and it's never good to hear only the good news).

Your starting point should be to contact your nearest Thai Consulate, they have all the information and the (actual) requirements that you need to meet.

You can also contact www.pattayaexpatsclub.com

And www.thaivisa.com

What follows here is the mostly the down side and the things you need to take care of.

Me in Thailand.

I was assigned to Thailand by an international corporation that is head quartered in America.

Under a special treaty between the US and Thailand Americans and American companies are entitled to own (wholly own) a business in Thailand - No other nationalities are allowed to do so unless they meet the Thai Board of Investment requirements (BOI Approval). Both the treaty and the BOI approval give a company the right to employ a restricted number of foreigners and that is how I got my work permit/visas.

Note here, you need both a work permit and a visa. Working without a permit is extremely risky, it can, and often does, result in arrest and immediate imprisonment.

That risk is doubly worrisome if you have children.

Employment Opportunities.

I’m an IT engineer and I got assigned to Thailand by chance, it wasn’t something I had planned. I can’t give you any real information on what opportunities there are for your profession, I can say that I have seen very few foreigners working in any Thai companies excluding those that are foreign owned.

Most companies in Thailand are able to find staff who are well educated and fully trained from among the Thai population.

The exceptions are highly specialist areas, again often catered for by multinational companies.

Money.

The serious stuff.

I have a double income, I’m paid a local living allowance of around US$1800/month which, while it doesn’t cover all my costs, does cover most. I’m also paid in Hard currency at home.

This is important because if at sometime you want to go home (see Residence) you need to have funds and a place to live. Money in Thailand in Thai currency will not be of much use.

As I say I more or less live on US$1800 but I live in a very modest house and I rarely drink. Importantly I my employers also give me a car, (taxed and insured), a fuel allowance, pension, health insurance and yearly flights home for me and my family. Without these (Insurance is a must) if you have a family in Thailand and you need to maintain international education and housing standards you have to figure on at least US$2200/month…. At least!

And that is without putting money away for back home.

Risks.

I have to include this because it is a very important part of living overseas.

The incidence of divorce back home is around 30%, the incidence of divorce among our assignees in Thailand is around 55%. (Almost double).

The reasons are many, dislocation from home and family, guys running off with local girls, women running off with other guys.

But my guess is the most common cause (and perhaps the cause of all the others above) is stress.

It can be extremely stressful, no, it is extremely stressful on a relationship to go live overseas in a totally foreign culture. This is only worse if there are money problems, only one partner is working or there are other relationship problems.

It is very typical for women to have difficulty settling in, especially if the husband is working (even if the wife is busy wit the kids). Thailand is a male orientated society, almost no provision is made for mothers and men are to a large extent treated as something special.

Questions to ask yourself.

To avoid making a mistake (and I am not saying that Thailand would be a mistake for you) you need to ask some questions of yourself.

Firstly and most importantly:

Why do you want to go to Thailand? You should be absolutely clear about this because when things go wrong (as they must from time to time) you both need to know why you have made the jump. No reasons are more valid than any others, but you must be clear what your reasons are.

Do you want to go for the same reasons and are those reasons compatible?

Are you talking to each other about this?

Are you both listening?

What is your long term plan and what are you going to do to achieve it?

If you ask these questions you will at least know what you are about. Believe me, I’ve met dozens who have failed in Thailand because they did not have a purpose in their lives.

STOP DON’T Gos.

The following is absolutely true.

If you leave home with an unresolved problem, it will grow, smolder and rot while you are in Thailand.

Recent Divorce or relationship breakdown (Past year).

Recent bereavement (Past two years)

Any kind of an addiction, particularly alcohol

Debt

If these figure in your recent life, sort them out or take time to get over them before you leave.

If feel you are unable to let your partner read this advice then you need to address that as a problem too.

Making a go of it.

After eleven years in Thailand I have met people who did well and people who did very badly, most to be honest get by OK but wives tend to say they are glad to go home and would be reluctant to come back.

Of the people that make a go of it, ALL live very normal lives while in Thailand. They work hard and take part in the local community. They carry their lives and responsibilities to Thailand and live much as they would at home.

They ALL have purpose in their lives and almost all plan to leave after a spell of perhaps 2 or three years.

Residency.

In theory a foreigner can get a residence permit that allows them to live and stay in Thailand just like a Thai. In reality it is extremely difficult, almost impossible.

The Thais give 200 residence permits to non Asians per year. As a foreigner you can apply after four continuous years in country. I know three people who have received these (all after over twenty years in country).

I have applied, five times, with the backing of my employers, a university and the local head of education.

I’ve been asked to reapply next year.

Without this document you will need a Resident B (Non-immigrant Visa) to be allowed to stay in Thailand and apply for a work permit. I have both the visa and the work permit and therefore do not need to do Visa runs.

Visa runs are regular (expensive and disruptive) trips across the boarder to get new entry visas. They are not a viable option for families.

Home Ownership.

You can own a condo, you cannot own a house or land.

Other Information.

I hope this has at least helped you understand the pitfalls, if you are going ahead with this plan and need advice on schools, housing or healthcare please feel free to write and ask for info.

There are expat societies that can help, most nationalities have their own clubs and societies i.e. there is a British Club, a Canadian society etc and there are various clubs that can give advice (see suggestions above).

Please do be careful though, Thailand often appeals to people who want to throw away responsibilities and cares (usually guys in their late forties and fifties), they’ll often tell you there are no cares, no problems. But then if their life objectives are cheap beer and cheep prostitutes, they will look at Thailand in a different light than the most of us.

As parents of young children we have to be a bit more careful.

Sorry it’s so negative, but without the support of friends and a community of other expats I’ve seen too many people mess it up.

[KevinN]

I think living here is great, I am married to a Thai school teacher, We have a nice home that is in her name only,I have a non-imm. O visa and do not need to make visa runs,Haven't been out of the country in 3 years,but was fun and a kind of vacation for the wife and I before we got tired of it every 3 months.

But I would not even think of living here with a European wife and child,,The Thai educational system is the worst in Asia, It would be hard on a woman with different cultures and tastes to live,shop and associate with only Thais,the language is a bitch to learn,shopping is a bitch because she will see nothing that looks familiar except pineapples and bananas. The booze is cheap and the Thai women look ###### good.even better after some of the booze.

There are a lot of things that you can not buy for any amount of money. and she would most likely want to drive,and that is an experience beyond explanation.

Come ,look and live for 4 months and see what you think,but I sure wouldn't' make any plans at all before.

I know that the company's in Nam in the 60s and 70s had some personal that had wives with them,all the women ended up drunks and all were divorced there or shortly after departure.

[singa-traz]

Just to add to the very good post from GuestHouse, in the Money section.

Have a look at those school fees, as an example:

http://www.isb.ac.th/Content/Detail.asp?ID=101

http://www.dulwich.ac.th/information_schoolfees.asp

Assuming a local pay ... you can almost make it ... if you like rice and prik nam pla (chilli) ... for all your meal (yes, including breakfast) ! :-)

[Trackbikes]

Thanks guys lot's to think about there

[davethailand]

come, have a holiday and suss the place out a bit. there's no reason why you can't do something here.

[Boon Mee]

do my research while my family stay at home,

And your wife will let you?

Trackbikes,

Just as a word of caution quoted from a newsletter/information sheet distributed to potential Foreign Service people to be stationed in Bangkok from the US Consular Service.

If you do not have a strong (italics mine) marriage do not consider a married posting to Thailand.

They don't call it "Amazing Thailand" for nothing!

[Trackbikes]

do my research while my family stay at home,

And your wife will let you?

Trackbikes,

Just as a word of caution quoted from a newsletter/information sheet distributed to potential Foreign Service people to be stationed in Bangkok from the US Consular Service.

If you do not have a strong (italics mine) marriage do not consider a married posting to Thailand.

They don't call it "Amazing Thailand" for nothing!

We've been married for 20 years, (got engaged 3 moths after meeting) so if It's not strong now it'll never be strong!!

[meemiathai]

Well Trackbikes, just be careful. Do not overestimate yourself. Keep warning yourself and I guess that would be fine. But still, it is better that you come together. Your wife might not like it?

[Nam Kao]

>>>>We've been married for 20 years, (got engaged 3 moths after meeting) so if It's not strong now it'll never be strong!!

Famous last words.....

Seriously

If I was married and wanted the relationship to last, i would stay home.

I first went over as an expat, I dumped the american girlfreind in a week.

TGs are awesome.

[GuestHouse]

TrackBikes,

You opened your post here with a plea for other posters to be gentle with you, I think they have responeded to your request.

Listen to what you are being told, nobody is saying don't come to Thailand but almost everyone is saying don't come alone and many are warning you of the risks to your relationship.

I've posted a long list of advice here, it is based on many years of living and working in Thailland, it is being confirmed by others here who are telling you not to come here alone.

My only other advice is, sit down and read through the list of things I gave you with your wife, let her help you both come to the right decision. If you can't do that, then Thailand is the wrong place for you.

The surest way to fail as a family in Thailand is to come here without an open and honest agreement between you as to why you are coming to Thailand.

I've seen this, not once, but dozens of times, husband in Thailand alone while wife and family are at home. People get hurt, that is what you are being warned against.

Any couple who are "Solid" will discuss these things and take the best advice, I can't think of any better advice than that you have received here, ignoring it will put the happiness of your family at risk.

[Trackbikes]

TrackBikes,

You opened your post here with a plea for other posters to be gentle with you, I think they have responeded to your request.

Having read a lot of the other posts i was pleasantly surprised at how gentle you've all been..thanks!

I have read all the advice and taken a lot of it on board, We'll be planning Joint vist to Koh Samui and Phuket in the next few months, where we'll look at oportunities.

Thanks

[Bluecat]

has anyone moved their non thai family from UK??

Most of us did. Not necessarily from UK, though.

Any problem?

No, not at all,...

Do most of the contributors have Thai wifes or girlfriends?

Yes,...