toptuan Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 (edited) The greatest Post-Mortem One-Liner of all time is the following: Schwarzenegger has just chased down and run Sully's car off the road. After ramming his own car head-on at 80 miles-per-hour into a telephone pole, Arnold checks to see if Rae Dawn is alive and then pulls Sully out of his car, demanding to know where his daughter is. Sully tells him to f#ck off. Arnold says, "Listen, loyalty is very touching but it's not the most important thing in your life right now. Gravity is." Great line, but, well, keep reading. Arnold then carries Sully over to a cliff and dangles him over the edge by one leg. After some more words are exchanged... Schwarzenegger says to Sully, "Hey Sully, remember when I said I'd kill you last?" Sully then says, "Yeah, you promised you'd kill me last." To which Arnie responds, "I lied." He then drops Sully off the cliff. Later, Arnold returns to Rae Dawn who asks, "What happened to Sully?" "I had to let him go." Holy sh#t, is that funny/brilliant?! It has had me laughing for the past twenty years. ________________________________________ Above excerpt adapted from http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm...e/commando.html Edited November 11, 2006 by toptuan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangsay Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Not sure if it was in the movie , but it was in the book. Barley Blaire being quizzed by Britis Intelligence (OK I know an oxymoron too when I see it) about about whether he had been "intimate" with some lady or other. His reply ? "We had sex , but we were never intimate." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermano Lobo Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 (edited) From my favourite, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid ----- Butch Cassidy: What happened to the old bank? It was beautiful. Guard: People kept robbing it. Butch Cassidy: Small price to pay for beauty. ------- Butch Cassidy: I have vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals. ------- Butch Cassidy: If he'd just pay me what he's spending to make me stop me robbing him, I'd stop robbing him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Percy Garris: [singing] Oh don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike / Crossed the high mountains with her lover Ike / Two yoke of oxen and big yellow dog / Called Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog / Hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay, hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay / Shanghai ran off and the cattle all died / last piece of bacon that morning was fried... Butch Cassidy: [interrupting] I think they're in the trees up ahead. Sundance Kid: In the bushes on the left. Butch Cassidy: I'm telling you they're in the trees up ahead. Sundance Kid: You take the trees, I'll take the bushes. Percy Garris: Will you two beginners cut it out. Butch Cassidy: Well, we're just trying to spot an ambush, Mr. Garris. Percy Garris: Morons. I've got morons on my team. Nobody is going to rob us going down the mountain. We have got no money going down the mountain. When we have got the money, on the way back, then you can sweat. ----------- Butch Cassidy: Jeesh, all Bolivia can't look like this. Sundance Kid: How do you know? This might be the garden spot of the whole country. People may travel hundreds of miles just to get to this spot where we're standing now. This might be the Atlantic City, New Jersey of all Bolivia for all you know. Butch Cassidy: Look I know a lot more about Bolivia than you know about Atlantic City, New Jersey I can tell you that. Sundance Kid: AHA. You do huh? I was born there, I was born in New Jersey. Was brought up there, so... Butch Cassidy: You're from the east? I didn't know that. Sundance Kid: The total tonnage of what you don't know is enough to shatter... Etta Place: I'm not sure we're accomplishing as much as we'd like here. Sundance Kid: Listen, you're job is to back me up, because you'd starve without me. And you, your job is to shut up. Butch Cassidy: He'll feel a lot better after he's robbed a couple of banks. --------- [Performing their first robbery in Bolivia] Butch Cassidy: [spanish] Manos a... Manos, um... [Butch pulls out a card that helps him remember his words] Butch Cassidy: Manos arriba! Sundance Kid: They got 'em up! Skip on down. Butch Cassidy: Arriba! Sundance Kid: Skip on down! Butch Cassidy: Todos ustedes "arrismense" a la pared. Sundance Kid: They're against the wall already! Butch Cassidy: Donde... Ah, you're so d@mn smart, You read it! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Butch Cassidy: How long before you figure they're not after us? Sundance Kid: A while longer. Butch Cassidy: How come you're so talkative? Sundance Kid: Naturally blabby, I guess. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edited November 11, 2006 by Hermano Lobo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermano Lobo Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Also from my favourite Casablanca:- ----- Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca? Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters. Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert. Rick: I was misinformed. -------------- Ilsa: I wasn't sure you were the same. Let's see, the last time we met... Rick: Was La Belle Aurore. Ilsa: How nice, you remembered. But of course, that was the day the Germans marched into Paris. Rick: Not an easy day to forget. Ilsa: No. Rick: I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emwobberlydee Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 "I killed the president of paraguay... with a fork" I've racked my brains on this one. Still no idea. Go on - Which film is it then? A scene from Grosse Pointe Blank Martin Blank (Cussack) trying to explain to people what he has been doing for the past 10 years at a high school reunion. An excellent film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helicoptor Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 NO-ONE WILL KNOW THIS ONE! It was a Jamaican Film I saw when I was a kid in the 70's about farm workers in Jamaica been drafted in to new hotel in the up and coming tourist industry. The main guy was called Ringo I think he had a job as a waiter and was a bit of a stud with the white lady tourists. There is one scene where Ringo is talking to one of the younger waiters in the hotel kitchen (who is straight in off the farm) and Ringo offers him a slice of orange ... In very broad Jamaican dialect.. RINGO : 'Come now eat up dem oranges, boy' BOY: No sar! (sir) RINGO : Why you no eat dee orange boy' BOY: NO SAR!, DEM SAY DEE RAT UP YA BARLS SAR! ( anyone want a translation and or explanation please PM me ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dude Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 The Dude digs Jeff Spicoli's take on the American revolution in Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Jeff Spicoli: So what Jefferson was saying was "Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too." Yeah? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Rambo Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Apocalypse Now.... 'You smell that? Do you smell that? That’s napalm, son! Nothing else in the world smells like that! I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, this one time, we bombed this hill, for twelve hours… when it was over I went up there… we didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ dink body. But, you know, that smell… that gasoline smell… the whole hill… it smelled like… victory.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidjtayler Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 "Hey Jimmy, stick your finger up my ass" .... some X rated flick I watched in my youth ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travel2003 Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Hi there. I know this tread is about to get very long. Really enjoyed reading all the "lines". What about "Forest Gump"? If anyone ask me about my favorite film, thats the one that normally pops up in my mind. Really loved the one when Forest get a letter/telegram from (Lieutenant Dan?) stating there is no need to worry about money (or the future?) as he has invested some in a some sort of fruit company (Apple). rgds Sailor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rajah Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 You find mine in my signature Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ourmanflint Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 I could go on for hours... but here are few faves From Anchorman: Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means a whale's vagina. Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding. I thought it was a joke. I even wrote it down in my diary - Veronica had a very funny joke today. I laughed about it later that night. Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion. From Napoleon Dynamite: Napoleon Dynamite: [referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. Napoleon Dynamite: I caught you a delicious bass. From Withnail & I: Withnail • We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now. • I feel like a pig shat in my head. • I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze. • I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder. Uncle Monty • Flowers are simply tarts; prostitutes for the bees. • I mean to have you, boy, even if it must be burglary. Danny • I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot. • This'll tend to make you very high. From Sexy Beast Gal: No! Don: Yes! Gal: No! Don: Yes! Gal: No! Don: Fat c_unt! Gal: No, No, No! Don: Yes, Yes, Yes! Aitch: Look, with this pill, they say you take it and that's it. Your hair don't grow, you don't go bald, it stays the same. You have your hair cut once, in whatever style you want, and it stays like that for the rest of your natural life. It's revolutionary. Now, I'm not saying this is gonna happen next year but it will happen, it's definitely coming. Hairdressers are shitting themselves! good times!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgoz Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 From Shallow Hal when Jason Alexanders character is in the toilet whilst Hal is talking to his girlfriend at the door. "Hey Hal, come and have a look at this t*rd, it looks just like Klinger from MASH". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feolindo Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 (edited) from Chinatown: "I don't get mad Mr. Gittes, my lawyer does." from Blade Runner: "I want more life, f**ker!" from The Godfather: "Leave the gun. Take the canolies." Edited November 23, 2006 by feolindo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 This one from the Matrix reminds me of my first time in Pattaya Morpheus: I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossfinn Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 "You say three Mister, and your never hear the man count ten" Any guesses Moss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermano Lobo Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 (edited) Quotes from National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) Dean Vernon Wormer: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. D-Day: Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it. Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fukked up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help. Flounder: [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred? Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car. Flounder: Will that work? Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth. D-Day: We have an old saying in Delta House: don't get mad, get even. ------- Marion Wormer: You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine. [in the supermarket vegetable section] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger. Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you? Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter. Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber. Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber? --------- Doug Neidermeyer: And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dean Vernon Wormer: Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little sh1t just like you. Edited November 28, 2006 by Hermano Lobo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 "Oh...there will be Blood" Saw II Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cm-happy Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Jack Nicholson to helen Hunt from AS GOOD AS IT GETS. "you make me want to be a better man". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmick Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Didn't actually make it to the movie, but when shooting a movie Dean Martin (famous drinker) was sitting at a kitchen table and it came down to the point in the scene when he had to drink a glass of milk. He leaned across the table, reached for the glass of milk, stopped and shouted "Stunt Man!". I like it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkandrew Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Don't know if this has already been mentioned, as I have not read the whole thread... Just watching "Snakes on a Plane" DVD: Pilot to Samuel L Jackson, talking about aeronautical problems: "This bird goes down faster than a Thai hooker" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermano Lobo Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Don't know if this has already been mentioned, as I have not read the whole thread...Just watching "Snakes on a Plane" DVD: Pilot to Samuel L Jackson, talking about aeronautical problems: "This bird goes down faster than a Thai hooker" "This bird goes down faster than a Thai hooker" I wince and blow a fuse everytime I hear this well used, negative, Thai cliché. If this is all that film can offer it sounds a right load of old <deleted> ! Hollywood is crap ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beavis and Butthead Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Quotes from National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)Dean Vernon Wormer: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. D-Day: Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it. Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fukked up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help. Flounder: [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred? Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car. Flounder: Will that work? Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth. D-Day: We have an old saying in Delta House: don't get mad, get even. ------- Marion Wormer: You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine. [in the supermarket vegetable section] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger. Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you? Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter. Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber. Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber? --------- Doug Neidermeyer: And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dean Vernon Wormer: Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little sh1t just like you. Great line from Neidemeyer there how about Blatarsky's line: did we give up when the German's bombed pearl harbor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermano Lobo Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Great line from Neidemeyer therehow about Blatarsky's line: did we give up when the German's bombed pearl harbor? Dean Vernon Wormer: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerryd Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Three pages so far and nobody has mentioned some of the all time greatest lines ever ! Such as: "Hasta la Vista, Baby" "I'll be back" "Go ahead, Make My Day" "Charlie don't surf" Just to name a few, which is all I have time for right now ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indifferent Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 (edited) History of the World: Part I One of my all time favourite films [caveman drawing on cave wall] Narrator: And of course, with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth - the critic. [other caveman urinating on drawing] Roman Senator: All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote? Entire Senate: <deleted> THE POOR! Marcus Vindictus: What bait must I use to catch your love? I am your servant. Empress Nympho: Ah, but the servant waits, while the master baits. Empress Nympho: [to her litter bearers] Could you *please* step on the same foot at the same time! My tits are falling off! Edited December 2, 2006 by Indifferent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Croc Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Great line from Neidemeyer there how about Blatarsky's line: did we give up when the German's bombed pearl harbor? Dean Vernon Wormer: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. ouch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnh101 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 ".....too old, too tired or too <deleted> blind" Al Pacino "Scent of a Woman" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
game4shame Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 sexy beast: Don: She's all right, Jackie, isn't she? Gal: Yeah, she's great. Great laugh. Don: Big tits. Gal: Yeah, she's a lovely girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermano Lobo Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 "I do for you, you don't do for me.That's not the way it works!" -Al Pacino Can't remember the film ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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