Would you check the Phone of your GF,BF or Partner?

[BookMan]

Nope, I don't care what she gets up to.

I don't own her.

If she wants a bf, new husband, gik ...... up to her.

MaeJoMTB and I are on the same page.

All my Ex's had flings. I divorced all three of the American wives. I refused to divorce the current wife. I told her to have fun and notify me when the new BF got old. It took about 3 months. At her age, nobody is gonna take care of her. She knows it; I know it. Now post-menopausal, and having had her hormones kick the wind out of her sails, we're on the same page too. Romantic love is for kids in order to get them to procreate, and it's that 'romantic' love that causes the jealousy problems. Like I said previously: "I don't feed that dog". Compassion and mutual caring is a better route for us 'over-the-hill' types. We complement each other, and for all the friction and sparks in the relationship, we're better off together than apart. Oh, and it's nobodies business but mine on how I manage my relationship. Sail your own ships; I'll sail mine.

Well said... Kudos to you, as it sounds like you are right were you want to be... Hopefully the sea will remain calm for sailing. ?

I'd be caring a lot what she got up to

STI's are common and Thai woman don't seem to enforce condom useage

[farcanell]

Nope, I don't care what she gets up to.

I don't own her.

If she wants a bf, new husband, gik ...... up to her.

MaeJoMTB and I are on the same page.

All my Ex's had flings. I divorced all three of the American wives. I refused to divorce the current wife. I told her to have fun and notify me when the new BF got old. It took about 3 months. At her age, nobody is gonna take care of her. She knows it; I know it. Now post-menopausal, and having had her hormones kick the wind out of her sails, we're on the same page too. Romantic love is for kids in order to get them to procreate, and it's that 'romantic' love that causes the jealousy problems. Like I said previously: "I don't feed that dog". Compassion and mutual caring is a better route for us 'over-the-hill' types. We complement each other, and for all the friction and sparks in the relationship, we're better off together than apart. Oh, and it's nobodies business but mine on how I manage my relationship. Sail your own ships; I'll sail mine.

Well said... Kudos to you, as it sounds like you are right were you want to be... Hopefully the sea will remain calm for sailing. ?

I'd be caring a lot what she got up to

STI's are common and Thai woman don't seem to enforce condom useage

A good point, but as he has said, it's his ship to sail, and I gather he is comfortable with his situation, and is living his life on his own terms... Something that most men don't get to do.

[BookMan]

It's surprising how many people on this forum make the error of mistaking cynicism for wisdom, especially when it comes to relationships.

They are interchangeable aren't they?

Cynics believe they are. The wise know better.

Self proclaiming to be wise can be seen as foolish

Only the receiver of words can decide their sagaciousness

[RigPig]

I ain't playing "second fiddle" ESPECIALLY if I am financing it.....

[SoiBiker]

It's surprising how many people on this forum make the error of mistaking cynicism for wisdom, especially when it comes to relationships.

They are interchangeable aren't they?

Cynics believe they are. The wise know better.

Self proclaiming to be wise can be seen as foolish

Only the receiver of words can decide their sagaciousness

Only a fool believes himself to be wise.

The wise man knows that he is but a fool.

[seancbk]

One of the first things I did, when I decided that my GF was the one I wanted to be with, was tell her what my phone password was and tell her if my phone rang she was free to answer it.

I also gave her my computer passwords, showed her my bank balance, explained where my money comes from and how much gets paid into my account from overseas each month.

I explained to her that I was doing this because to me trust and honesty are extremely important.

We are friends on Facebook so she can see all my photos and who I am friends with. I've had some messages from girls pop up on the computer and she's enquired why they are, so I explained they were ex girlfriends and gave her all the details of when/how long/where etc.

I have her phone password, access to her Facebook and Instagram. I've not asked her how much she earns but if I did she would tell me.

We discussed her last boyfriend (Thai guy).

She travels quite a bit for work, when we are not together she sends me regular Line messages and photos letting me know what she's doing and who with.

Basically we can trust each other 100%

It's good to be open and transparent once u have reached a certain relationship level

Still... I do think everyone needs some degree of privacy and separation on some matters

I would be interested to know what things you feel need to be kept private from your partner?

At this stage of my life? Meeting someone new with no history together?

Off the top of my head...

My financial situation would be private

I have a lot of female friends. I wouldn't be too honest about exact past relationships with some of them. (dependent on the person of course)

I wouldn't be jumping up to explain every message and small going on that happens

She could look at my phone, that's okay.

I wouldn't give her passwords to my emails and bank details.

Neither would i expect to read her emails or have her passwords

When you make trust and honesty such an overtly important issue in the relationship, what happens when some small piece of dishonesty or evasion is chanced upon? It can blow things out of proportion

Everyone has some secrets, most of them trivial.

I also believe people need some space and some private boxes in a healthy relationship

I agree everyone has secrets, I have some things I wouldn't tell my GF about my past.

I think keeping finances secret can lead to problems. What if she thinks you are better off than you really are? I made sure my GF knew I'm not rich at this point in my life, but she also knows what my future plans are to change that situation.

I doubt she cares about my emails, I certainly don't care about hers (not that I could read them anyway as they are all in Thai 555). I don't use email much these days. Everything is done on Facebook and Instagram (for both of us).

She doesn't have my ATM pin (yet) but I wouldn't object to her having it.

I too have a lot of female friends (hundreds). She knows they are just friends. She also knows that a fairly large number were at one time girls I was sleeping with. Perhaps she doesn't care because a) none of them are Thai and none of them live in Thailand.

At the end of the day, it's all about what you are comfortable with.

Cheers!

[farcanell]

Self proclaiming to be wise can be seen as foolish

Only the receiver of words can decide their sagaciousness

That is one hell of a word (sagacious).... I had to look it up.... Live and learn.... Thanks, though I doubt that I will ever use it.

[mankondang]

Yes I would and you are all liars.

Or cant use a phone.

Sent from my c64

"Yes I WOULD" (not yes I DO), implies that you don't have a gf, bf or partner...and no wonder with such insecurities, that you think everyone else is a liar.

Say hello to Mrs Palm and her five daughters from the rest of us.

[soc]

My ex-wife used to open my mail & when l confronted her about it, there was a blazing row.

She considered it her right to do so.

Just like she considered it her right to spend ALL our money & send some to the Philippines for her family & got very snaky when l reined her in.

lt took me two years to find out her true character & l would have left her if we hadn't had a little baby.

l only stayed with her because of the kids(yes we had more!).

"Marry in haste- reflex/regret at leisure"

Never make that mistake again.

[IAMHERE]

That would put an end to my expectation of privacy, so I wouldn't just because I like my privacy.

[oxo1947]

It is what it is, accept it and get on with it, As John Lennon said "What ever gets you through the night..."

Did he come up with that line after going through Yoko's Phone.........................

[RigPig]

It is what it is, accept it and get on with it, As John Lennon said "What ever gets you through the night..."

Did he come up with that line after going through Yoko's Phone.........................

No after she went through his phone

[connda]

My ex-wife used to open my mail & when l confronted her about it, there was a blazing row.

She considered it her right to do so.

Just like she considered it her right to spend ALL our money & send some to the Philippines for her family & got very snaky when l reined her in.

lt took me two years to find out her true character & l would have left her if we hadn't had a little baby.

l only stayed with her because of the kids(yes we had more!).

"Marry in haste- reflex/regret at leisure"

Never make that mistake again.

My ex-wife used to open my mail & when l confronted her about it, there was a blazing row.

...as there should be. Your business is your own. Any women or man who feels that it is their 'right' to check their significant others emails has, imho, some serious issues in more than one department.

[farcanell]

My ex-wife used to open my mail & when l confronted her about it, there was a blazing row.

She considered it her right to do so.

Just like she considered it her right to spend ALL our money & send some to the Philippines for her family & got very snaky when l reined her in.

lt took me two years to find out her true character & l would have left her if we hadn't had a little baby.

l only stayed with her because of the kids(yes we had more!).

"Marry in haste- reflex/regret at leisure"

Never make that mistake again.

My ex-wife used to open my mail & when l confronted her about it, there was a blazing row.

...as there should be. Your business is your own. Any women or man who feels that it is their 'right' to check their significant others emails has, imho, some serious issues in more than one department.

LOL..... All I get in the mail box is bills, bills and more bills.... So I actively encourage the wife to open them....And go and pay them as well

[mauGR1]

My ex-wife used to open my mail & when l confronted her about it, there was a blazing row.

She considered it her right to do so.

Just like she considered it her right to spend ALL our money & send some to the Philippines for her family & got very snaky when l reined her in.

lt took me two years to find out her true character & l would have left her if we hadn't had a little baby.

l only stayed with her because of the kids(yes we had more!).

"Marry in haste- reflex/regret at leisure"

Never make that mistake again.

My ex-wife used to open my mail & when l confronted her about it, there was a blazing row.

...as there should be. Your business is your own. Any women or man who feels that it is their 'right' to check their significant others emails has, imho, some serious issues in more than one department.

Your business is your own...significant other...well, you cannot have it both ways.

As far as i am concerned, life is for learning, and learning my significant other(s) is my business. So there is nothing wrong in wanting to learn more about my business.

btw i never needed to check any phone to know that something was wrong in a relationship.. But...

.....When you see articles everyday about lovers killing each other, suicides etc,not to talk about , millions of unreported beatings and abuses of all kinds, checking some e-mail seems quite innocent, innit ?

So, your innuendo of mental illness should be put into bed, i think. Everybody i know have at least 1 issue ( getting old ) so you can guess that most of us have some serious issue in more than 1 department.

[Baerboxer]

Yes

[wow64]

Yes I would and you are all liars.

Or cant use a phone.

Sent from my c64

"Yes I WOULD" (not yes I DO), implies that you don't have a gf, bf or partner...and no wonder with such insecurities, that you think everyone else is a liar.

Say hello to Mrs Palm and her five daughters from the rest of us.

Depends how you read it genius..

The thread is "Would you?" So yes I would..

You are correct in your assumption.. I don't have anything you mentioned.. I have a wife.

Mrs. Palmer says hi you little stud so did your Misses last night..

Edited March 12, 2016 by wow64

[i claudius]

No.

And I hope she would never check the browsing history on my PC.

what no history delete lol

[i claudius]

If I was so insecure and I thought for a moment she was cheating,I would not be married to her

[smotherb]

RigPig said, “So you think it is not an even playing field? Who do you think the cheating men are cheating with and why they don't get caught? You have heard of "Mia Noi" no doubt, have you heard of "Por Noi"? same same but in reverse. Why do you think they(Thai men" blow them away? Ask a Thai girl what her Thai BF would have done if it had happened.... MANY of us have stories of things we have seen, done, experienced here, but it isn't just Thailand, it's just more open and to a degree tolerated and expected here. It's humn nature. Look up the peculiarities of male dung beetles and the reasons why. Same for humans IMO. My world isn't sad just realistic, and I can handle it. In the words of Tina Turner "What's love got to do, got to do with it?" It's an illusion that is sold by Hollywood and marketing companies, no more.”

You seem to be having trouble defending your arguments.

You're even using my examples. I said, " . . . If it's just women, with whom would a wife or gf cheat, or are they all lesbians"? Now you turn it around and say, " . . . Who do you think the cheating men are cheating with . . ."

Certainly, the mia noi is an acceptable cultural norm in Thailand--especially for a wealthy man. However, not all cheating men in Thailand are wealthy or have mia nois, many are cheating with prostitutes--many men may be serviced by a few ladies of negotiable virtue.

Men are often caught, especially if the man cheats with a bargirl and his gf/wife was a bargirl--the bar bamboo telegraph works well. Men with mia nois are also caught; however, the wife often simply accepts the relationship as a cultural norm, especially if all her bills are paid.

Certainly women have "brothers" or farang friends, but only the best of the lover boys service several ladies. Are you really suggesting wives--and not just bar girl wives--are as unfaithful as husbands?

You must realize that many bargirls who get married do not see it as a traditional marriage. To many of them see their husbands as no more than a long-time customer--me love you long time. It is particularly prevalent when the “husband” works rotation. The husband is gone for extended periods of time and what is a poor lonely bargirl to do—especially after being used to having many men with whom to play?

Your analogy to dung beetles fairly explains to me why you don't believe in love. The pitiful part may be you have never found a woman who could love you.

There is an old bar girl expression, "Business is Business and Love is Bulls**t." It appears you have bought into that hooker line and bar fine.

[sead]

She Lives on you. You pay for Everything?

You send her money every month? Then i would. She Can always check my. The only reason she would deny you access to her phone is because she is hidin something

But that is my thoughts

Edited March 12, 2016 by sead

[eldragon]

Don't ask; don't tell. Whatever happens on a phone might as well be said behind my back, and vice-versa.

[wow64]

If you are not living in Thailand and sending her money then there is no need to check her phone...

She is chatting to guys.. And everything else. But you are not here so its to be expected.

The stories I am sure many other posters including myself have of women they know with husbands in other countries.. Its very entertaining.

Sent from my c64

[ardokano]

Yes I would and you are all liars.

Or cant use a phone.

Sent from my c64

Yes, i would, if i have doubts about a relationship, i will check everything i can, why lose time with the wrong person ?

.why lost time with person you not trust?

[i claudius]

RigPig said, “So you think it is not an even playing field? Who do you think the cheating men are cheating with and why they don't get caught? You have heard of "Mia Noi" no doubt, have you heard of "Por Noi"? same same but in reverse. Why do you think they(Thai men" blow them away? Ask a Thai girl what her Thai BF would have done if it had happened.... MANY of us have stories of things we have seen, done, experienced here, but it isn't just Thailand, it's just more open and to a degree tolerated and expected here. It's humn nature. Look up the peculiarities of male dung beetles and the reasons why. Same for humans IMO. My world isn't sad just realistic, and I can handle it. In the words of Tina Turner "What's love got to do, got to do with it?" It's an illusion that is sold by Hollywood and marketing companies, no more.”

You seem to be having trouble defending your arguments.

You're even using my examples. I said, " . . . If it's just women, with whom would a wife or gf cheat, or are they all lesbians"? Now you turn it around and say, " . . . Who do you think the cheating men are cheating with . . ."

Certainly, the mia noi is an acceptable cultural norm in Thailand--especially for a wealthy man. However, not all cheating men in Thailand are wealthy or have mia nois, many are cheating with prostitutes--many men may be serviced by a few ladies of negotiable virtue.

Men are often caught, especially if the man cheats with a bargirl and his gf/wife was a bargirl--the bar bamboo telegraph works well. Men with mia nois are also caught; however, the wife often simply accepts the relationship as a cultural norm, especially if all her bills are paid.

Certainly women have "brothers" or farang friends, but only the best of the lover boys service several ladies. Are you really suggesting wives--and not just bar girl wives--are as unfaithful as husbands?

You must realize that many bargirls who get married do not see it as a traditional marriage. To many of them see their husbands as no more than a long-time customer--me love you long time. It is particularly prevalent when the “husband” works rotation. The husband is gone for extended periods of time and what is a poor lonely bargirl to do—especially after being used to having many men with whom to play?

Your analogy to dung beetles fairly explains to me why you don't believe in love. The pitiful part may be you have never found a woman who could love you.

There is an old bar girl expression, "Business is Business and Love is Bulls**t." It appears you have bought into that hooker line and bar fine.

20 Odd , years ago in the UK i had a hooker friend (yes friend nothing else) she once said she had only ever made "love" twice in her life ,but she had had sex with hundreds of guys , she knew the difference between love and buisness

[baneko]

Why would they need to check your phone....there are jungle drums everywhere from BKK to my wee village.

I never check hers.....no reason to.

[Naam]

i would love to check the phone (and a lot of other things) of a girlfriend. unfortunately my wife doesn't let me have one... which i think is very unfair

[MaeJoMTB]

Are you really suggesting wives--and not just bar girl wives--are as unfaithful as husbands?

Absolutely, it's a national pastime for both sexes.

[colinneil]

TRUST that is important in any relationship.

No trust no future. I never check my wifes phone/ e-mails look in her bag.

Nor does she with my things. Because we have trust.

My last marriage, yes i checked she could not be trusted, that is why we divorced.

[BookMan]

TRUST that is important in any relationship.

No trust no future. I never check my wifes phone/ e-mails look in her bag.

Nor does she with my things. Because we have trust.

My last marriage, yes i checked she could not be trusted, that is why we divorced.

Would u have checked in the dating stage?