The week that was on Thaivisa - 20 March

[rooster59]

The week that was on Thaivisa - 20 March

Gerry Carter

Surely happiness has been returned to the people at last?

In the first of a new weekly feature, we take a look some of the stories that hit the headlines this week.....

BANGKOK:-- One of the most surprising stories of an eventful week on Thaivisa was the news that Thailand continues to languish so far down the league table of happy countries.

With so many smiles on offer this week it was shocking to see that the kingdom is still in only 33rd place on the world happiness index.

Admittedly it has moved up from 36th two years ago then 34th last year but at this rate most retired expats will be long gone before anyone sees any joy.

Topping the pile were all those paragons of social welfare in Europe with health care, safe roads and public parks. But Denmark, Switzerland and Iceland in the top three?

They are all freezing; is Thailand's 40 degree heat this week not worth a little smile? And with a loaf of bread in Australia (9th) costing about a week's wages surely we can find solace in a 40 baht khao phat.

So it was explained by the psychologists and social scientists who produced the list that "inequality is associated with unhappiness." Well, that might account for some of the retirees and English teachers here but what about the masses!

Certainly there were the usual stories making the headlines this week that were downright unhappy for most with perhaps the odd whimsical shake of the head at the madness of it all but hardly a cause for glee.

The murders in the South, people falling down dead in suspicious and unsuspicious circumstances, road rage attacks on tourists, theft, robbery and corruption! Phew! No wonder we are all so miserable....begs the question how people in Burundi feel at number 136 on the list.

Even the Brit who woke from his slumbers to find his kind Thai host who had given him free lodging doing something he shouldn't can hardly be described as mirth making.

Though one wonders how the police to whom he reported the incident kept a straight face.

Even the country bumpkin who took his assailant, a four metre king cobra, to the hospital and promptly fainted is hardly the cause for rib cracking even if his smart actions do end up saving his comatose life.

No, there was a lot earlier this week that was not funny for most. But as the week progressed things picked up big time. Surely, I thought, these stories would send Thailand rocketing up the league table of abject happiness to sheer unadulterated joy.

Firstly the visit of high profile dignitaries to Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza had the inexperienced and tourists thinking they were going to be busted and have to take a urine test for merely looking at gogo dancers or just sitting on a bar stool. But as the hundred strong entourage of police, immigration officials and other uniform clad officers descended it quickly emerged that it was all smiles.

They were just there to make sure everyone was safe, having a rollicking good time and, oh, yes, that there was no serious human trafficking going on. The PR exercise was enough to crack the most serious curmudgeon's grimace into a broad grin if not putting Thailand immediately into the top ten.

While not there in person I have seen these media events in the past. The juxtaposition of officialdom smiling for the cameras while prostitution and lawbreaking essentially takes place all around is hilarious and oh so Thai in the extreme. The fact that they seem oblivious to the incongruity of it all just adds to the mirth!

Then the marriage of the three year old Thai twins in Phattalung. This is not a very unusual event in Thai culture when superstitious villagers appease bad spirits and the like by doing odd things, but the sight of the little babes in their wedding outfits handing over a 150,000 dowry surely caused a few lols to break out even amongst the humorously challenged and slightly freaked expat community!

But the best was saved for Friday. Now almost a yearly event this was the "news" that the culture ministry had visited the organisers of the motor-show at Muang Thong next month to request that the scantily clad "pretties" dress more appropriately to represent "Thai-ness." If that was not enough in itself the details of the story got titteringly funny.

The culture minister himself, Khun Weera, as if trying to get the ladies to cover up was not enough cause to stop digging in this particular hole, said that in meeting officials from Grand Prix International to make the request that the girls wear more he fully expected the company to cooperate as "they all welcomed us nicely when the team visited and will fully cooperate." Bless!

If the culture minister doesn't know that Thais are famous for having a nice dinner then saying one thing and doing the complete opposite there is no hope for any of us.

So one wonders how the dress will become more Thai.

Depending on your standpoint this may vary from a long silk dress with ornate shawl to a couple of pasties over sensitive bits. I am afraid that my wife is still not going to rest easy if I tell her I am popping over to Impact Arena to see the Ferraris. To her, saying that I would be back at four am from Patpong would arouse less suspicions about my motives.

If only the happiness index had come out after this. Surely we would have made the top ten.

Finally, public officials have been asking us not to waste water at the upcoming Songkran festival because of the drought along with warnings from the tech team that internet trolls are in fact psychopaths.

So the lack of water might actually get some of us out of the house at Songkran for a change but the fear that the quiet and dry streets might be full of danger from serial trolls out shopping for knives is too much.

It is just not a laughing matter.

-- 2016-03-20

[pinkpanther99]

Haha, nice one.

This sums up your typical week in Thailand very well.

You hit the nail on the head about the little PR campaign down Soi Cowboy

[DrTuner]

Hey this is nice, keep doing these sum ups please.

[kinmaew]

Farang no good, but farang happy. (i..e no need to craw on your f****** hands and knees with DSS paid for life in your retirement.)