Best April Fool's Jokes on the web 2016

[Tywais]

Post your finds.

US Embassy Bangkok

Urgently required! The U.S. Mission in Bangkok is urgently seeking eligible and qualified applicants for the position of Feline Welfare Specialist.

Duties:

- proving care and provisions to the U.S. Embassy Bangkok feline population.
- managing official trips for yearly vaccinations and check-ups.
- creating viral cat-themed multimedia contents for social media use.

Qualifications:
- at least one year of progressively following and commenting on Thailand’s top feline-centric Facebook pages
- fluent in Thai, English, and Felinese
- ability to exercise judgment in dealing with felines with sharp claws.
- ability to efficiently take photos of felines for social media use.

Please submit a portfolio of your selfies with cats and a recommendation letter from a cat along with the application form. For more information, see http://bangkok.usembassy.gov/jobvacancy-feline-specialist.h…

[Tywais]

Pollution Problem Solved, PM10 Standards to be Raised

CityNews – April 1st, 2016, The Office of Environmental Control has announced the happy news that the pollution problems in the north have now been solved, effective immediately.

“We have tried penalising people who burn,” explained Som-oke Deedee, Director of the Office of Environmental Control, “we even looked into solutions such as mulching and biochar, but frankly it is hard work, and not realistic. At the end of the day these are small, and ineffective measures. Right now the problem is that people see that pollution levels are at PM10 180, or 200 and it is causing panic amongst residents and tourists.

The World Health Organisation has set global standards for safe levels of PM10 pollution at 50. Thailand has long since set its standards at 120. However, Som-oke’s new solution is to raise the Thai standards to 220.

“If we raise the safety standard to 220 then it means that there are only a few day a year which we exceed this,” he said, opening a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label in Top 10 Karaoke in celebration.

“I have no idea why no one has thought about it before,” said Saosuay, the CEO of Karaoke 10 who was also present at the interview. “It is genius, pure genius. Now I can go out and breathe the air, jog a kilometre and finish burning the leaves in my garden knowing that we are all still safe.”

“Frankly, we are astounded at this simple solution,” Deputy Mayor Faimai Muanmuan told Citylife. “We are about to work with TAT to launch an international campaign called Amazing Smokefree Thailand which will tell all tourists all over the world that Chiang Mai’s air is now below danger levels. We are already planning a large meeting with tour operators to get the message across.

[nikmar]

I still cant get my local 7 11 to accept my 90 day report.

[Berkshire]

Pollution Problem Solved, PM10 Standards to be Raised

CityNews – April 1st, 2016, The Office of Environmental Control has announced the happy news that the pollution problems in the north have now been solved, effective immediately.

“We have tried penalising people who burn,” explained Som-oke Deedee, Director of the Office of Environmental Control, “we even looked into solutions such as mulching and biochar, but frankly it is hard work, and not realistic. At the end of the day these are small, and ineffective measures. Right now the problem is that people see that pollution levels are at PM10 180, or 200 and it is causing panic amongst residents and tourists.

The World Health Organisation has set global standards for safe levels of PM10 pollution at 50. Thailand has long since set its standards at 120. However, Som-oke’s new solution is to raise the Thai standards to 220.

“If we raise the safety standard to 220 then it means that there are only a few day a year which we exceed this,” he said, opening a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label in Top 10 Karaoke in celebration.

“I have no idea why no one has thought about it before,” said Saosuay, the CEO of Karaoke 10 who was also present at the interview. “It is genius, pure genius. Now I can go out and breathe the air, jog a kilometre and finish burning the leaves in my garden knowing that we are all still safe.”

“Frankly, we are astounded at this simple solution,” Deputy Mayor Faimai Muanmuan told Citylife. “We are about to work with TAT to launch an international campaign called Amazing Smokefree Thailand which will tell all tourists all over the world that Chiang Mai’s air is now below danger levels. We are already planning a large meeting with tour operators to get the message across.

Good one. And like every year, there will be a few farangs on TV who actually believes this.