Trying To Read Brit Posts

[johng]

Boss dat laa. Cushty, like.

Isn't that scouse ? No idea what it means.

[johng]

When I wright posts, I try and use words that every native English speaker will understand, no matter where they come from. In fairness, most of the phrases in the above article don't appear regularly in the threads on TV that I read....

I must be reading all the wrong threads--that send me searching for colloquial assistance...

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1459657376.715175.jpg

I challenge a non-Brit, non-Aussie, non-Kiwi to translate! :-D

I came across that term a few weeks ago. Had to ask the guy what the heck "dobbing" was! LOL Still not 100% sure....

Dobbing is to inform a higher authority of your (bad) actions

Not to be confused with dogging which is something very different !

[swissie]

Blimey! would yew bloody translate what in'er English?

Kannscht du Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch schwetzer?

Yes I can, if they speak slowly. Pennsylvanian- Deutsch is still spoken by. German Immigrants settling in Pennsylvania.

Swiss citizens settling around "New Glarus" (not far away from Madison in Wisconsin), still speak understandable " "Swiss-German" after 3 generations.!!!

But these days, Spanish is on the Agenda. Good luck America.

Cheers.

[Jeddah Jo]

Blimey, stone the crows...

Would you Adam and Eve it?

[nikmar]

Boss dat laa. Cushty, like.

Isn't that scouse ? No idea what it means.

Very good. Basically something you like or admire is "boss"

Coupled with the inability to pronounce the "th" sound and the desire to end every sentence with a meaningless "like"

Its a curious language.

[Bench499d]

I especially like the article's definition of "anal". Think the author needs a dictionary because it most definitely does not mean "being an <deleted>" (<deleted> being an Americanism rather than a Britishism anyway). Anal, or an anally-retentive, means to be organised or tidy or especially obcessed with accuracy for example. http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/anally-retentive

EDIT: amused by the fact that axhole has been deleted...

Edited April 3, 2016 by Bench499d

[BwindiBoy]

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1459663957.619743.jpg

Yonks? YONKS??

Can someone bloody tell me what a "YONK" is?

It sent my autocorrect into fits. Kept trying to bring up "Yank" and "wank." Even smartphones rebel.

It's something old people say when they mean bare long, fam.

Ie. Haven't had a wank in yonks.

Or, you're the biggest liar I've come across in yonks!

[sipi]

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1459663957.619743.jpg

Yonks? YONKS??

Can someone bloody tell me what a "YONK" is?

It sent my autocorrect into fits. Kept trying to bring up "Yank" and "wank." Even smartphones rebel.

It's something old people say when they mean bare long, fam.

Ie. Haven't had a wank in yonks.

Or, you're the biggest liar I've come across in yonks!

It sounds better than..

Haven't had a wank in donkeys 'ears.

[rodcourt49]

When I wright posts, I try and use words that every native English speaker will understand, no matter where they come from. In fairness, most of the phrases in the above article don't appear regularly in the threads on TV that I read. I do think it is interesting that you can take an educated guess where a poster comes from by the words and phrases they use when making a comment.

When I write posts I try to use the correct spelling!

...right on!

[Saastrajaa]

I've figured out, over my years in Thailand, the meaning of some of these Brit bastardizations of English (yeah, yeah, you guys invented it...but guess what? that doesn't mean you necessarily speak the best version of it!!): for instance, "taking the piss" seems to mean generally being a passive-aggressive &lt;deleted&gt;...did I get that one right? One I can't quite seem to make sense of, though, is "lucky dip"...though I think it has something to do with anal sex? Any enlightenment here?

[i claudius]

When I wright posts, I try and use words that every native English speaker will understand, no matter where they come from. In fairness, most of the phrases in the above article don't appear regularly in the threads on TV that I read. I do think it is interesting that you can take an educated guess where a poster comes from by the words and phrases they use when making a comment.

When I write posts I try to use the correct spelling!

wright you are!

Goodness gant you spool correctly

[pgrahmm]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1143301292382827&id=441241125922184

Brit does baseball.....kinda...

[manarak]

Blimey! would yew bloody translate what in'er English?

Kannscht du Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch schwetzer?

Babbel doch net...

[fusion58]

Hmmm...sounds like a load of old codswallop to me.

Disclaimer: I'm not British - just a Steve Marriott/Small Faces/Humble Pie fan. ?

[RamenRaven]

How to write like a Brit on ThaiVisa

No offense intended. Brits are kewl. But this is for light-hearted comical effect.

 

 

They like to say "the wife" instead of "my wife." (Americans don't say that.)

Ex: "I'm going to take the wife on a trip to the beach."

 

Sometimes, "the missus" can be interchanged with "the wife."

Ex: "I'm going to take the missus to live in Cambodia. I don't think she'll like that."

 

They like to say "lad" or "chap."

Ex: "My dark-skin Thai beauty has a few Thai lads on the side."

 

Their online posts are often run-on sentences with misplaced or non-existent punctuation, perhaps due to the brain-damaging effects of chronic alcoholism. Their non-coherent writing can be difficult to decipher at times. Ironically, many claim to be English teachers.

Ex: "once you live in thailand for many years reality strikes ya know..what are you going to do about it its corrupt slimey wot r you going to do about it,,, ok im loggin off"

 

They prefer "middle-age" rather than "old" when you refer to them.

Ex: "As a 69-year-old middle-age English expat in Jomtien, I find myself to be young at heart. The ladies make me feel young."

 

 

To be precise, many TV posters and Farang expats are predominantly old white men from the north of England or the Midlands. A few are also from London suburbs, Wales, and Scotland, but most are old guys from Northern England. Why are they all from that demographic?
 

They are not representative of the general UK population anymore. In the UK, you'll often see more Pakistanis, Nigerians, and Brazilians on the streets than native Britons. White men are often young and skinny, and there's a nice balance of men, women, children, and people of all ages.

 

But divorced, overweight, balding northern English men aged 40-80+ comprise the vast majority of British expats in Thailand. There are some Australians and Germans too. You don't see that many Americans and Canadians, but there are a few.

 

Edited September 5, 2018 by RamenRaven