Preparing for Songkran: The week that was in Thailand news - 10 April

[rooster59]

Preparing for Songkran: The week that was in Thailand news - 10 April

An expat’s take on this week’s Thailand news stories

BANGKOK:-- As Thailand geared up for the inevitable carnival of carnage that is the Songkran festival observers of the nation's news could have been forgiven for thinking it was all put on as some sort of Ripley's sideshow.

The believe it or not factor strained incredulity to breaking point once again with some hors d'oeuvres both unpalatable and appetite whetting setting the scene for the joyous opportunity to annoy others and die on the tarmac next week.

While a veritable circus of beaming officials at Suvarnabhumi assured the hapless tourists that all was going to be well and rollickingly good water splashing fun some locals were getting in practice on the treacherous roads, a subject conveniently forgotten amid the cultural promotions.

The dump truck that somehow seemed to snap in half and get wedged under a footbridge in Lat Krabang propelling the driver in the air and creating a New-Year-Like mother of all tailbacks was perhaps more amusing than idiotic. That Darwinian accolade went to the tour bus driver who introduced his unsuspecting passengers to Thai trains at a crossing paying with his and some of their lives in the process.

Still, maybe his trip to the morgue will serve some purpose as it was announced by authorities that repeat traffic offenders may be required to attend to corpses as part of their shock treatment 'reeducation' in how to drive properly.

Thankfully the constabulary were more on the ball or more accurately on camera. A trial is underway in Sattahip fixing up dozens of officers with GoPros on their helmets. Even the upstanding members of the force looked a little self conscious if not reluctant with the new initiative though I guess it will be quite easy to turn them off should the need arise at the checkpoints next week.

Though I got the impression that some of the cute cops chosen for the photo-op were confused at the camera placement thinking they might be better situated on the front of the bike recording the dashing driver for later playback with admiring girlfriends. Whatever, let's hope they work in the wet.

One Chonburi man bucked the trend by actually falling for a lovely local lady cop he met through a chat room. After parting with cash and buying her gold and a new bike she disappeared into thin air. A trip to the nick to ask why she was ignoring the lovelorn bachelor must have resulted in less a loss of face and more the 'naa taek' or broken face the Thais refer to in such situations.

Yes, Officer Duangjai was just a front and a later search of the cop impersonator's home even turned up a fake nurse's outfit. Maybe her real boyfriend was luckier in the bedroom....

But perhaps pride of place in preparation for Songkran was the shenanigans of the army draft pick - more a national carnival than national service. All and sundry - and there was plenty of sundry - appeared as dozens of ladyboys showed up to have their pictures taken with their exemption certificates amid the cheers of record crowds. Among all the sexy posing with the bashful uniformed defenders of the nation was the rather more rotund figure of a 300 kilo fully male hopeful.

Perhaps both sets of twenty something, potential recruits were rejected for showing a little more flesh than the army usually requires.

Real macho celebrities got their faces in the press - one for rejecting the draft and proudly electing to serve 'King and Country', another for bawling his eyes out when he drew the wrong colour card who had to join up too.

Celebrities notwithstanding the charmingly named type two women rejects will live to fight another day,however, though top brass threatened to throw the book at them next week if they show too much silicone on the back of pick-ups in the wet t-shirt competition otherwise known as Songkran.

Not to be outdone Bangkok police joined in the carnival atmosphere by managing to say nothing while incessantly blabbing in the saga of the body in the bag drug case. It was all pretty obvious what had happened right from the start despite the force saying they were playing their cards close to their tunic-ed chests as the gang had predictably escaped back to Bhutan while the search was going on.

Friends of the victim had fed him condoms stuffed with amphetamine and when one burst had crammed him lifeless in a bag and dumped him in the canal. With friends like that, please count me out of a visit to the mountain kingdom.

But it all begged the question as to why they bothered coming to Bangkok - surely it isn't difficult to get 'high' in Bhutan?

Completing the Songkran preparations were some great examples of both Thais and foreigners behaving badly.

The Thais with the unseemly scramble for designer shoes at Central that saw even their countrymen compare them unfavourably with the earlier feeding frenzy of Chinese tourists grabbing prawns and the inevitable 'taxi driver of the week' for 'relieving' himself with a surreptitious front seat hand caught on tape. He was pulled up but the judge just gave him a suspended sentence perhaps worried he might reoffend inside prison upsetting inmates more than the general public.

The foreigners weighed in with the campers who thought it might be fun to pitch not just the soles of their feet but their tent on the historic wall in Chiang Mai but even these were outdone by the American druggie who gave his name as Father Bentley Rolls and thought it would be a good idea to distribute his dope in the trusting hands of motorcycle taxi lads.

Not surprisingly, though perhaps a little luckily, he will be missing Songkran this year.

Gerry Carter

-- 2016-04-10

[cumgranosalum]

"The believe it or not factor strained incredulity to breaking point once again with some hors d'oeuvres both unpalatable and appetite whetting setting the scene for the joyous opportunity to annoy others and die on the tarmac next week."

If I read the figures right the death toll actually FALLS over Song Khran.

[ronwparker]

Many Thai people ignore all laws so despite the preparations many will die often from drunk driving.

I live in Chiangmai and like many farang here go away for Songkran to see my Thai wife's family in the country where Sogkran is more simple!!!

Some Thai's are very urbane so I am certainly not anti Thai

[cumgranosalum]

Many Thai people ignore all laws so despite the preparations many will die often from drunk driving.

I live in Chiangmai and like many farang here go away for Songkran to see my Thai wife's family in the country where Sogkran is more simple!!!

Some Thai's are very urbane so I am certainly not anti Thai

es - but LESS than on a normal day.

[bbbbooboo]

The incredible stupidity of the senseless slaughter of people on Thai roads over songkran always concerns me. Clearly it doesn't concern the Thai "government"

[chicowoodduck]

Oh well, a few thousand more killed on the roadways by all the knobs and idiots out and about.....mostly in Pattaya....sad to say....and all in the name of fun? ???

Always fun to watch all the folks leaving Pattaya for Suvarnabhumi Aiprport starting today....?

[cumgranosalum]

The incredible stupidity of the senseless slaughter of people on Thai roads over songkran always concerns me. Clearly it doesn't concern the Thai "government"

..but still less than the average on a normal day.....

[bodunchar]

Learning can be painful.