Reverse culture shock tips if you haven't lived in the U.S. for a really long time

[Jingthing]

On my visits back, yes I have felt the "dullness" of everyday life there. Most people are focused on their SCREENS ... all day at work, on phones, and then video after work. Oh well! What really struck me was a visit to a major shopping mall. In Thailand, that can feel like fun. There, it felt really dull.

Yes, I've already experienced that the tipping culture, already ridiculous, has gotten even more ridiculous.

On the other hand, there are tip jars at some pretty absurd places in Thailand where foreigners gather ... but I think they're mostly just trying it on and don't EXPECT it.

Have you been to a mall lately, JT? It's the same thing. Everyone is glued to their screens here, too. It's nearly impossible to get the attention of sales clerks at malls these days because they're glued to their phones. I can remember when we first came here I hated the way the clerks would follow you around the stores, pointing at something you were looking at making inane comments like "blue" or "on-off" as if I were blind. No more, it seems.

Of course, I just find the feel in Thai malls more vibrant and fun. My last impression in the U.S. was closer to JOYLESS.

[lannarebirth]

So bum guns. Any need to import special hardware from Thailand. I reckon installing one would be against condo codes though. Darn all those rules!

Amazon.com has everything you need. Youtube for instruction. Done!

No need to bring from Thailand.

Did you find a brand that doesn't leak? Every single one I've bought from Amazon (multiple), Home Depot, Lowes, has leaked.

I bought this in the US in 2008..We used it in our home there & then ....brought it here when we moved in 2012 & now 4 years later we are moving back & I will take it with me too.

This is built extremely well with ceramic valves etc. Never a drop of leaking

They have many other models to choose from too

http://www.sanicare.com/Hand-Held-Bidet-Chrome-S100C-p/s100c.htm

PS:

I am a bit surprised that prices now are much lower than when i bought so many years ago

Thank you very much for the recommendation mania. I'll order one today.

Unlike Thailand, our home in the states has wooden subfloors rather than a cement slab with floor drains. Also wooden vanities in the bathroom so leakage can cause a lot of damage. Thanks again for the testimonial.

[Berkshire]

Yes, I've already experienced that the tipping culture, already ridiculous, has gotten even more ridiculous.

On the other hand, there are tip jars at some pretty absurd places in Thailand where foreigners gather ... but I think they're mostly just trying it on and don't EXPECT it.

The tipping, ah yes. Was in the US last year at a fancy restaurant. When tipping came around, I tipped the standard 15%. The waiter appeared rather annoyed, bordering on being totally pissed off. Asked my friend what that was about. He says "20% is the new 15%." Maybe this change occurred years ago, but I just found out about it.

[KarenBravo]

Never understood why restaurant owners don't pay a living wage to service staff and put the menu prices up to compensate.

I'm sure many people wouldn't mind. Then a tip is really a tip, not ransom.

[BKKSnowBird]

They tried that is Oregon and in Washington and it was a failure. They were paying $15/hour but if the staff was worth anything, they could make much more on minimum wage plus tips. Minimum wage is about $9 and going up in those states.

Edited April 24, 2016 by BKKSnowBird

[craigt3365]

A buddy of mine just moved back to Colorado after many years here. He couldn't be happier. About the only thing he misses is the cheap street food. Other than that, he's happy with everything you are worried about. Once you get there, it will all sort it's self out. Health care could be an issue, but for him, with a lower income, Obama Care is fantastic. He loves it.

Rather than reading all this stuff on the internet, get a cheap ticket back to the US. Get a reasonable place for a month somewhere and explore and enjoy!

[Jingthing]

Have also heard 20 percent is the new 15 percent. Ridiculous.

If the service is atrocious, the way to show that is with a 10 percent tip.

10 percent is the new penny!

[Jingthing]

A buddy of mine just moved back to Colorado after many years here. He couldn't be happier. About the only thing he misses is the cheap street food. Other than that, he's happy with everything you are worried about. Once you get there, it will all sort it's self out. Health care could be an issue, but for him, with a lower income, Obama Care is fantastic. He loves it.

Rather than reading all this stuff on the internet, get a cheap ticket back to the US. Get a reasonable place for a month somewhere and explore and enjoy!

That's good to hear.

I won't miss street food much as I don't eat it much. But I will miss (very much) lower restaurant prices for many kinds of food here.

I do need to explore my destination choice, that's for sure, but going for a month is just a visit.

You don't know what it's like to live anywhere specific until you actually do it.

[craigt3365]

That was basically his issue. He said eating out in the US is super expensive. No cheap food like here. But, an incredible variety with great quality, unlike here....

I think in one month and you can get a pretty good feel for a place. When I travel, I try to spend a week in each major location. I find in one week, I get a good feel for whether I like a place or not. I rent an apartment, shop at the local stores, and try the public transport. Great fun! Most of the time....LOL

[Jingthing]

Yeah, you can get a feel of a place but there are a lot of practical issues moving back to the USA after such a long time that one can't actually deal with until you actually deal with it.

[craigt3365]

Yeah, you can get a feel of a place but there are a lot of practical issues moving back to the USA after such a long time that one can't actually deal with until you actually deal with it.

I moved here initially with just a few suitcases of stuff. Figured it all out eventually. Everything you need is there in the US, just need to find out how to get it! LOL Which is relatively easy and can be part of the fun.

We've talked about moving back, but it was only 10 years ago that we lived there. It'd be a breeze for us. Just do what we did 10 years ago. Liquidate everything here and hop on a plane with a few suitcases. Then cruise around until you find a place you like. We visited every major city here in Thailand until we settled on NaJomtien. It was actually great fun....at least in hindsight! 55555

[Jay1]

I remember when I went back to London in 2014 and wondered what the hell has happened to the place, it was so clean.. Then I realised nothing had happened, just got used to Thailand being dirty haha

I'm moving back to uk next month and really looking forward to being able to get things done with ease (completely my fault as I didn't learn Thai), looking forward to being allowed to work in any job that I am able and qualified to do....but not looking forward to the cigarette prices

[mania]

Yeah, I think that's what we should do. We came to Thailand two years ahead of retirement and spend a month in a "trial retirement" before we returned to the U.S., wound down our business, sold our house and farm and got rid of our stuff. Meanwhile, we used those two years to keep in touch with people we'd met in Thailand and learn everything we could about Chiang Mai.

We probably should do the same thing about returning to the U.S. Go back for a month or two and "try out" living there as returnees, come back here and get ourselves organized for the return.

For starters, I know from helping others that the Thai banks aren't really eager to see funds on deposit sent out of the country. We could start spoon feeding my 800,000 baht out during that return time.

I am a bit surprised to hear your considering going back Nancy

Only because I know of all the good things you do here for others & I always thought you would be a permanent CM resident

But I totally get the possible reasons & after 4 years we are moving back ourselves.

For us it is a little easier as we kept our home there

But I just wanted to say for the repatriating of money..Usually no questions if amounts kept smaller

(some say under 50k USD) we have never tested it but have sent smaller amounts 10-15k USD via wire no problems

Will try again soon & report back if anything has changed

But also you know you can get a cashiers check in USD that does not get the scrutiny of flying with cash & need not be declared when flying afaik.

You can even certify mail it or dhl/fedex it back to your bank for deposit ahead of time

as the one drawback is it can take up to 45 days to clear at many US banks/credit unions

We once took one for 10k with us & that is what we found

So if sent ahead is clear by the time you return.

Anyways...just some options & good luck to you & your husband

[derator01]

A post violating forum rules has been removed from view and a newbie member is now on a posting holiday.

[Jingthing]

Indeed, but still much better than having no access to coverage.

[NeverSure]

Obamacare is in trouble. Big insurers are leaving the program due to huge losses. Remember, Obamacare is a mandate that people must buy health insurance from private insurance companies which = welfare for insurance companies as originally intended.

"The Wall Street Journal reports:

Many people signing up for 2016 health policies under the Affordable Care Act face higher premiums, fewer doctors and skimpier coverage, which threatens the appeal of the program for the healthy customers it needs.

Insurers have raised premiums steeply for the most popular plans at the same time they have boosted out-of-pocket costs such as deductibles, copays and coinsurance in many of their offerings. The companies attribute the moves in part to the high cost of some customers they are gaining under the law, which doesn’t allow them to bar clients with existing health conditions.

No wonder enrollment is about half (10 million) of what it was expected to be."

More

We "Republicans" really don't hate to say "We told you so." We've always known it was a disaster and tried to stop it.

Cheers.

Edited April 24, 2016 by NeverSure

[CaptHaddock]

Obamacare is in trouble. Big insurers are leaving the program due to huge losses. Remember, Obamacare is a mandate that people must buy health insurance from private insurance companies which = welfare for insurance companies as originally intended.

"The Wall Street Journal reports:

Many people signing up for 2016 health policies under the Affordable Care Act face higher premiums, fewer doctors and skimpier coverage, which threatens the appeal of the program for the healthy customers it needs.

Insurers have raised premiums steeply for the most popular plans at the same time they have boosted out-of-pocket costs such as deductibles, copays and coinsurance in many of their offerings. The companies attribute the moves in part to the high cost of some customers they are gaining under the law, which doesn’t allow them to bar clients with existing health conditions.

No wonder enrollment is about half (10 million) of what it was expected to be."

More

We "Republicans" really don't hate to say "We told you so." We've always known it was a disaster and tried to stop it.

Cheers.

Well, you might think so, if you believe the disinformation of the WSJ. The facts are otherwise, however.

Here's the dramatic reduction of the uninsured. Predictions that employers would discontinue their own health insurance plans were wrong.

Projected Federal spending on health turned out to be lower than expected:

It's true that United Healthcare announced that it would reduce its participation in the exchanges in 2017. Aetna, on the other hand, is happy with its performance. So, some companies succeed where others fail, like in any other market. Last year 39 companies did leave the exchanges, but 40 new ones signed up. The average number of insurers has grown from 8 to 10 in 2016.

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/unitedhealthcare-bails-out-of-obamacare#7

Since Obama's election in 2008 the Republicans have promised to offer their own alternative national healthcare plan. Of course that never materialized. More Republican hot air.

[taxout]

But does having Obamacare -- with those high deductibles and copays -- really make you "insured"?

That is, just because you have an insurance policy of some sort doesn't necessarily mean you're really insured.

[grumpyoldman]

Regarding the Obamacare matter, my brother reported to me that the government was asking him for $600+ on his taxes due to not signing up and not having proper alternative coverage.

He's not the sharpest tool in the shed so I jumped online and checked it out, asked what his income was that he was reporting and (I forget the exact percentage now), but there was a loophole in that they were asking for a higher percentage fee than what was adequate for his income so he did not have to pay it.

In conversations with him, he and a lot of other people feel the HRC Admin 1 will tweak the whole thing. Not totally get rid of it, but will change some things that seem to not be working correctly.

[craigt3365]

But does having Obamacare -- with those high deductibles and copays -- really make you "insured"?

That is, just because you have an insurance policy of some sort doesn't necessarily mean you're really insured.

My friend has $1 co-pays, and reasonable deductibles. Due to his lower income. He's happy. But yes, it doesn't seem to be working out for many others. A real mess.

[taxout]

Yes, it's the middle-income folks who have to rely on Obamacare who are getting the short end of the stick.

[grumpyoldman]

Any of you out there have smart phones bought in Thailand (i.e. Huawei Honor model) and are using them in the U.S.?

I understand there are packages (Sprint et al) but does the Thai unit itself function o.k. there?

[BKKSnowBird]

Tonight, I did something I very rarely do and went to McDonald's. I ordered a combo but accidentally called it a set like they do in Thailand. The guy looked at me like I was totally nuts.

[Jingthing]

Tonight, I did something I very rarely do and went to McDonald's. I ordered a combo but accidentally called it a set like they do in Thailand. The guy looked at me like I was totally nuts.

I do stuff like that on visits.

Once it resulted in a wildly wrong order at a restaurant and it was definitely my fault.

Have to hold back the KHRAPS ... that really wouldn't fly in the U.S.

Also, I'm totally into the Thai eating style with spoon and fork.

I've done that in the U.S. on visits and of course people stare and think I'm retarded. It's such a good method. Change it to fit in?

I guess I'd have to give it up in public.

Even worse, and I'm not proud of this, sometimes like many of us I resort to using Thaiglish to communicate with Thais. I know I'm not the only one, that poor usage can sometimes slip into becoming a HABIT ... and if you talk that way to Americans, OMG, you will sound like a total idiot. I've slipped a few times on visits ... not good.

I assume that would fade quickly ... so more of a visiting concern than a moving back one.

Edited April 25, 2016 by Jingthing

[BKKSnowBird]

Ha. I had forgotten about the broom/dustpan style of using the fork and spoon. I usuallly only did that with rice and don't eat much of that here.

Unfortunately, the broken English I still do. I talk to a Thai friend a few times a week and find myself doing it all the time. Its a very hard habit to break and is very rude. I must be more careful. People can get very offended and rightfully so. It comes off like you are talking down to them.

[grumpyoldman]

"Broken English" are you guys talking about pidgeon? Tarzan-speak? "Your friend you"?

This is a horrible foreigner habit here in Thailand. This does not help the Thai speaker learn proper English and flat out (IMO) makes the speaker look like a numb-skull. I believe the Thai speaker will understand if you speak English correctly, on top of that you might help them with their English. Mini-rant, sorry about that.

Regarding the McDonald's episode, I was in a supermarket last year in the U.S. bought some fruit and was looking around for the person to weigh them and slap a tag on. Saw a grocer stocking, walked up to him with my bag of oranges and went "here", held them out. The grocer "do you not want them?". "No i need a tag", "the cashier has a scale on checkout" with a look on the grocers face like he was talking to a total imbecile and I did feel like one !!!!

[Jingthing]

In Thailand, it's more about communication.

In my experience, most Thais speaking Thaiglish aren't sincerely interested in learning proper English.

So it's not my white man's burden to care if they don't care.

Obviously if you're talking to someone you know who has expressed interest in being corrected, then that's different, and it's polite to model proper usage.

I understand the point of the rant, but I just don't share the same passion on that topic.

If you live here a long time ... some of those patterns can slip into your normal usage.

No, I'm not talking about something as extreme as my friend you.

I've never said that but I'm sure many expats have!

I think it could really be an issue for some returning expats, especially in a work situation.

Native speakers will judge you based on your usage. Just a few slips into even mild Thaiglish could really give a false impression that you're a moron. Obviously if you really were an immigrant, there would be tolerance for that, but not really for returning natives.

Edited April 25, 2016 by Jingthing

[spidermike007]

On my visits back, yes I have felt the "dullness" of everyday life there. Most people are focused on their SCREENS ... all day at work, on phones, and then video after work. Oh well! What really struck me was a visit to a major shopping mall. In Thailand, that can feel like fun. There, it felt really dull.

Yes, I've already experienced that the tipping culture, already ridiculous, has gotten even more ridiculous.

On the other hand, there are tip jars at some pretty absurd places in Thailand where foreigners gather ... but I think they're mostly just trying it on and don't EXPECT it.

My favorite abomination along that line is the question, "Do you need change?" from the waiter as he picks up your two twenties for a twenty-five dollar tab. "Of course, I need the change. That's why I didn't say, 'Keep the change.' "

In addition, at some point in the last fifteen years waiters turned from being temporary servants into commission-based sales people.

Had two pizzas delivered for a whopping $41. Handed the delivery man a $50. He asked if I need change. Wow. What can one say? I am a generous guy. But $9 to deliver two pizzas? It is a sense of entitlement that dominates the industry. Terrible waiters that I give a poor tip to dish out so much attitude. And if the service is really, really poor, I tip one cent. Thats right. One penny.

[Jingthing]

Yeah you can tip a penny but don't think about going back. If they don't understand why you did it, it's not uncommon to be confronted about it.

[BKKSnowBird]

Tipping has become a PITA.

Uber was originally a no tip service but now the drivers and passangers rate each other. No tip = poor rating. There is an unofficial rule of "five for a five". Five stars is a good rating.

Edited April 26, 2016 by BKKSnowBird