Do you think Thais are actully capable of Love, in the Western sense?

[questionsreplies]

i find this love of family so ridiculous that i know only date orphans witout btothers and sisters if possible. guys who also think that the family they made is a great success also make me throw out. proud of what ? proud of what any poor farmer can achieve? what a great success !

[Suradit69]

"Do you think Thais are actully [sic] capable of love"

OMG

Thai Visa is becoming more and more like a magazine for teenage girls confronting puberty(for the second time).

There should be a forum called "Beach Blanket Farang."

Its sponsors could flog adult diapers instead of acne cures.

Couldn't find it in Farang Land and still can't in Thailand.

Edited May 11, 2016 by Suradit69

[Agent Sumo]

No I don't. But with that said, I prefer my Thai wife over any of my farang ex-wives.

God almighty, is there no end to the sheer idiocy on display among fully grown adults?

[RandolphGB]

A woman is a woman, same wherever in the world you are. They've all got their own quirks and cultural customs, but every one of 'em can love.

Edited May 11, 2016 by RandolphGB

[WhamBam]

[Kaalle]

If you as a white westerner (who showers regularly) cant find a girl/woman in Thailand who is willing to spend time with you without any sort of monetary conditions or arrangements I honestly think you are out of luck on a global scale. Thats my final take on the matter if I have to be brutally honest.

[tropo]

yes absolutely! thai woman can love!

a thai couple ( both thai) is quite similar to a foreign couple( both foreigners) in terms of romance and relationship.

But in the other hand, a farang-thai couple is not about love, but more about ฿ and $.

And the government makes that point quite clear by their regulations. If you don't have the baht, out you go - no more visa for you!

They (government) don't care in the slightest about breaking up a family and the kids losing a father. All they care about is money, period.

By contrast, in the Philippines you can get an instant one year visa at the airport when you arrive with your wife. No questions asked, and they welcome you. It doesn't matter if you're broke. They respect the family unit.

This is not the reason why I chose a Filipino wife, but I'm sure glad I did. They can love in the "Western sense", only better!

Edited May 11, 2016 by tropo

[Agent Sumo]

yes absolutely! thai woman can love!

a thai couple ( both thai) is quite similar to a foreign couple( both foreigners) in terms of romance and relationship.

But in the other hand, a farang-thai couple is not about love, but more about ฿ and $.

And the government makes that point quite clear by their regulations. If you don't have the baht, out you go - no more visa for you!

They (government) don't care in the slightest about breaking up a family and the kids losing a father. All they care about is money, period.

By contrast, in the Philippines you can get an instant one year visa at the airport when you arrive with your wife. No questions asked, and they welcome you. It doesn't matter if you're broke. They respect the family unit.

This is not the reason why I chose a Filipino wife, but I'm sure glad I did. They can love in the "Western sense", only better!

Well if a father doesn't have any money to support his family, what should the Thai government do about it? There's no welfare system to bludge off and there are restrictions on what he can do work wise in Thailand.

I'd imagine that any real father worth his salt would be only too eager to return home and earn some money to honour his parental obligations.

Thailand can't bail people out of bad luck or poor life choices.

[tropo]

For any woman that I have dated in Thailand, I have never had to take into account her family. That is for guys who try to buy love with their money. People with ginuine love for each other don't have those types of problems.

Just because a girl has family responsibilities does not mean she cannot love genuinely. I do agree you'll have a harder time to separate the two, but if you love a girl, that's the girl you love - warts and all. You cannot unthink genuine love.

I'd say, given your logical way of determining love, you need to find a girl that loves you, not one you love. That way, if troubles come your way (eg family members in urgent need) you can finish it more easily and find another girl who suits your lifestyle better.

Just imagine this hypothetical scenario: Your Thai girl's father is very sick and requires immediate surgery which they cannot afford and he will surely die if you don't provide the money. What will you do?

Sorry hon - that wasn't the deal - I'm out of here!

[tropo]

yes absolutely! thai woman can love!

a thai couple ( both thai) is quite similar to a foreign couple( both foreigners) in terms of romance and relationship.

But in the other hand, a farang-thai couple is not about love, but more about ฿ and $.

And the government makes that point quite clear by their regulations. If you don't have the baht, out you go - no more visa for you!

They (government) don't care in the slightest about breaking up a family and the kids losing a father. All they care about is money, period.

By contrast, in the Philippines you can get an instant one year visa at the airport when you arrive with your wife. No questions asked, and they welcome you. It doesn't matter if you're broke. They respect the family unit.

This is not the reason why I chose a Filipino wife, but I'm sure glad I did. They can love in the "Western sense", only better!

Well if a father doesn't have any money to support his family, what should the Thai government do about it? There's no welfare system to bludge off and there are restrictions on what he can do work wise in Thailand.

I'd imagine that any real father worth his salt would be only too eager to return home and earn some money to honour his parental obligations.

Thailand can't bail people out of bad luck or poor life choices.

People do get into rough patches in their lives. If you can't show you have an offshore income of 400k, you're out. There's no chance for you to work your way out of it in Thailand - you're not allowed to work. I don't suppose you considered that many Thai families can live quite well on under 400k per year, but a foreigner doesn't have that option. Bye bye!

Obviously you don't have a lot of respect for the family unit and it's just tough luck if you can't make bank.

[simonuk]

sigh ..i dont know why i bother ..

this is just click bait isn't it ??

anyone who has ever watched thai tv , thai lakorns knows that most thai ladies are stupidly romantic.

I suspect the issue here is probably - can an unattractive older man get a young prostitute from an alien culture to love him genuinely . answer- unlikely but possible.

If the question is can a human being born in x part of the world be loved by a human being born in z part of the world then undoubtedly yes

However its so much easier to generalise and stereotype Thais as being subhuman or somehow inferior ..that way we can take the higher ground

They dont love me because they dont know how to love. Its not because im not subtable.

Can Thais feel happiness ?anger? jealousy ?, joy ? happiness ? fear ? of course, no one would deny that ...but because someone has found love hard to find they flake out and assume its the fault of someone else.

Love is hard to find regardless of nation or culture thats why we cherish it so much.

[AdamRich]

For any woman that I have dated in Thailand, I have never had to take into account her family. That is for guys who try to buy love with their money. People with ginuine love for each other don't have those types of problems.

Just because a girl has family responsibilities does not mean she cannot love genuinely. I do agree you'll have a harder time to separate the two, but if you love a girl, that's the girl you love - warts and all. You cannot unthink genuine love.

I'd say, given your logical way of determining love, you need to find a girl that loves you, not one you love. That way, if troubles come your way (eg family members in urgent need) you can finish it more easily and find another girl who suits your lifestyle better.

Just imagine this hypothetical scenario: Your Thai girl's father is very sick and requires immediate surgery which they cannot afford and he will surely die if you don't provide the money. What will you do?

Sorry hon - that wasn't the deal - I'm out of here!

And who says I would be able to afford it? How do they know what I am able to provide? The bottom line is that I am not showing up on the scene to be anyone's savior, especially when that saving entails my wallet. Nobody has given me a damn thing. I get paid by the hour. So every coin that I have was made by my own time, so I do not part with it easily for something that is not benefiting me or my own family.

I am not just going to give something away to someone who could be here today and gone tomorrow. I have yelled at too many Thai chicks who called themselves helping a friend only for that friend soon to be gone in the wind leaving them with a mound of debt or with their personal effects stuck in the pawn shop. It is not my responsibility to help someone else's family.

[Donutz]

Silly question, any person born anywhere on this planet can love and have a relationship with an other person. Thai (men and women) are not from an other planet! My late wife (Thai) loved me dearly, and little to no arguments, if you have a common interest you can move mountains, if you also are not stubborn but willing to give a bit, taje a bit, your relationship is just fine if not perfect. Common goal, communication, caring about the other person. Don't give me the <deleted> "it's their/my culture" excuse. A country and it's people are not a collective but a whole load of individuals with their own unique features.

Seperate from this, as Thailand lacks a wellfare system like the west/Europe, there may be need to help the retired parents a bit so thet don't starve. Sounds perfectly fine to me. If you are seen as a walking ATM then clearly you are not respected. Here is a clue: if you are always paying for dinner etc, something is wrong!

And about raising the children, well some people are conservative and others are not. The parents that I know (both western, both Thai or mixed) all have their own views on how to raise children and the household. Can't say that western parents think like this and the Thai like that. If your wife doesn't like you being around the kids much that is her (and with it also your) problem and thing to work out. Communicate, find common ground, give a bit, take a bit, love can conquer everything.

[tropo]

For any woman that I have dated in Thailand, I have never had to take into account her family. That is for guys who try to buy love with their money. People with ginuine love for each other don't have those types of problems.

Just because a girl has family responsibilities does not mean she cannot love genuinely. I do agree you'll have a harder time to separate the two, but if you love a girl, that's the girl you love - warts and all. You cannot unthink genuine love.

I'd say, given your logical way of determining love, you need to find a girl that loves you, not one you love. That way, if troubles come your way (eg family members in urgent need) you can finish it more easily and find another girl who suits your lifestyle better.

Just imagine this hypothetical scenario: Your Thai girl's father is very sick and requires immediate surgery which they cannot afford and he will surely die if you don't provide the money. What will you do?

Sorry hon - that wasn't the deal - I'm out of here!

And who says I would be able to afford it? How do they know what I am able to provide? The bottom line is that I am not showing up on the scene to be anyone's savior, especially when that saving entails my wallet. Nobody has given me a damn thing. I get paid by the hour. So every coin that I have was made by my own time, so I do not part with it easily for something that is not benefiting me or my own family.

I am not just going to give something away to someone who could be here today and gone tomorrow. I have yelled at too many Thai chicks who called themselves helping a friend only for that friend soon to be gone in the wind leaving them with a mound of debt or with their personal effects stuck in the pawn shop. It is not my responsibility to help someone else's family.

I'm not talking about responsibility. I'm talking about a moral dilemma which could easily arise for anyone in a serious relationship with a Thai woman, even if that Thai woman truly loved the guy and wasn't with him for money.

Are you going to help, or walk away? As you indicated in your post, you think you're an expert in determining real love, so it's never going to happen to you, but your comment "People with ginuine (sic) love for each other don't have those types of problems" is not true. A person who loves his girl will do everything to help her. Shit happens - it's life.

[AdamRich]

For any woman that I have dated in Thailand, I have never had to take into account her family. That is for guys who try to buy love with their money. People with ginuine love for each other don't have those types of problems.

Just because a girl has family responsibilities does not mean she cannot love genuinely. I do agree you'll have a harder time to separate the two, but if you love a girl, that's the girl you love - warts and all. You cannot unthink genuine love.

I'd say, given your logical way of determining love, you need to find a girl that loves you, not one you love. That way, if troubles come your way (eg family members in urgent need) you can finish it more easily and find another girl who suits your lifestyle better.

Just imagine this hypothetical scenario: Your Thai girl's father is very sick and requires immediate surgery which they cannot afford and he will surely die if you don't provide the money. What will you do?

Sorry hon - that wasn't the deal - I'm out of here!

And who says I would be able to afford it? How do they know what I am able to provide? The bottom line is that I am not showing up on the scene to be anyone's savior, especially when that saving entails my wallet. Nobody has given me a damn thing. I get paid by the hour. So every coin that I have was made by my own time, so I do not part with it easily for something that is not benefiting me or my own family.

I am not just going to give something away to someone who could be here today and gone tomorrow. I have yelled at too many Thai chicks who called themselves helping a friend only for that friend soon to be gone in the wind leaving them with a mound of debt or with their personal effects stuck in the pawn shop. It is not my responsibility to help someone else's family.

I'm not talking about responsibility. I'm talking about a moral dilemma which could easily arise for anyone in a serious relationship with a Thai woman, even if that Thai woman truly loved the guy and wasn't with him for money.

Are you going to help, or walk away? As you indicated in your post, you think you're an expert in determining real love, so it's never going to happen to you, but your comment "People with ginuine (sic) love for each other don't have those types of problems" is not true. A person who loves his girl will do everything to help her. Shit happens - it's life.

1. The poster stated to her he was not family despite the years and children. Why be so inclined to help someone who did not even make you feel as if you mattered, aside from monetary purposes?

2. If it was my wife (and it would not be so easy to become my wife) of course I would help her, but not every Tom, Dick, and Hank in her family. If she wanted to help with her own money then she would be welcomed to. When I was married my wife paid the mortgage and I paid all the other bills. Whatever money each had after that was their own to do as they pleased. But don't come to me for the funding of your relatives when I have my own household to worry about.

3. Maybe it is just my western pride. But I could not imagine being back home and needing an operation and having to turn to my sister to ask her husband to fund it.

[tropo]

Just because a girl has family responsibilities does not mean she cannot love genuinely. I do agree you'll have a harder time to separate the two, but if you love a girl, that's the girl you love - warts and all. You cannot unthink genuine love.

I'd say, given your logical way of determining love, you need to find a girl that loves you, not one you love. That way, if troubles come your way (eg family members in urgent need) you can finish it more easily and find another girl who suits your lifestyle better.

Just imagine this hypothetical scenario: Your Thai girl's father is very sick and requires immediate surgery which they cannot afford and he will surely die if you don't provide the money. What will you do?

Sorry hon - that wasn't the deal - I'm out of here!

And who says I would be able to afford it? How do they know what I am able to provide? The bottom line is that I am not showing up on the scene to be anyone's savior, especially when that saving entails my wallet. Nobody has given me a damn thing. I get paid by the hour. So every coin that I have was made by my own time, so I do not part with it easily for something that is not benefiting me or my own family.

I am not just going to give something away to someone who could be here today and gone tomorrow. I have yelled at too many Thai chicks who called themselves helping a friend only for that friend soon to be gone in the wind leaving them with a mound of debt or with their personal effects stuck in the pawn shop. It is not my responsibility to help someone else's family.

I'm not talking about responsibility. I'm talking about a moral dilemma which could easily arise for anyone in a serious relationship with a Thai woman, even if that Thai woman truly loved the guy and wasn't with him for money.

Are you going to help, or walk away? As you indicated in your post, you think you're an expert in determining real love, so it's never going to happen to you, but your comment "People with ginuine (sic) love for each other don't have those types of problems" is not true. A person who loves his girl will do everything to help her. Shit happens - it's life.

1. The poster stated to her he was not family despite the years and children. Why be so inclined to help someone who did not even make you feel as if you mattered, aside from monetary purposes?

2. If it was my wife (and it would not be so easy to become my wife) of course I would help her, but not every Tom, Dick, and Hank in her family. If she wanted to help with her own money then she would be welcomed to. When I was married my wife paid the mortgage and I paid all the other bills. Whatever money each had after that was their own to do as they pleased. But don't come to me for the funding of your relatives when I have my own household to worry about.

3. Maybe it is just my western pride. But I could not imagine being back home and needing an operation and having to turn to my sister to ask her husband to fund it.

I was mainly referring to your comment: "People with ginuine (sic) love for each other don't have those types of problems".

I believe true love between an older Farang and a young Thai female is going to be quite rare. My comments were made on the assumption that true love was found.

If this true love was found, then logical assessment of your situation is already over.

I've been in a situation a quite a few times where if I had not helped (paid) someone would have died. This was not in Thailand, but in Philippines. It's tough and it's impossible to reason yourself out of it. It's a horrible situation to be in. It's not even easy for me to say no in life and death situations if the person is unrelated, let alone in the family. We're assuming here that at least some money is available. If it's not, there's no decision to make, is there? If you have no money, you're in the clear.

Pride is not a consideration when someone's life is at stake. Let someone suffer or die because they're too proud to ask a sister's husband for money? If I was in need I'd be asking anyone for assistance.

Having a relationship with a Thai will not be a good idea for the financially squeamish. Bear in mind that a lot of members have already made their beds - married and had families, before the true reality sunk in. It's far too late to take your advice.

[AdamRich]

I have been in a relationship with many a Thai woman and have yet to have one ask me for monetary help for her or her family. So to tell someone to prepare for that if they get involved with a Thai woman is total bs.

The woman I am currently seeing now went back home to Surin a couple of weeks ago because her father fell ill and was in the hospital. She paid the bill of 115,000 baht. She asked me for absolutely 0 baht. When I first met this woman and she came over to stay with me I honestly thought she was a hooker. The next day I took her home and handed her 1000 baht. She looked at me confused and asked what the money was for. I felt like a total jackass.

[aronp1]

Buddhists try to remain emotionally detached, so no, I doubt it.

That's a load of crap.

[bbbbooboo]

Buddhists try to remain emotionally detached, so no, I doubt it.

+1

[BadBouy]

I think they are.

I'm not so sure about you.

Other than the obvious issue that a monetary relationship may not be a good foundation for love; there is the communication block which hampers exchange of true feelings and understanding. If either are strong, love seems doomed, if both . . .

Sure, you can get along even if you don't speak the same language. I once had a dog, we were inseparable, but was it love or dependence?

Do you not depend on someone you love?

Do you not love some one you depend on?

Which comes first? Friendship in a healthy relationship no matter where the partners are from.

[BlindMagician]

Foolish answers as always.

Ask yourself why you came to Thailand? Was is the floods? The drought? The corruption?

People that are always so negative are the ones that have no idea what a real relationship is whether western or in Thailand.

Is love 2 people caring for each other in the most spectacular way?

If it is maybe you are not doing your 50%?

If you are, you already know the answer to the ops post.

Of course love is possible.

When you have love and respect and treat any woman equally you can have love regardless of nationality.

I am amazed every day how much my wife is still in love with me, so I can tell you it is possible if you are doing the right things as a man.

Identity thief! You stole my profile pic.

[BlindMagician]

I have been in a relationship with many a Thai woman and have yet to have one ask me for monetary help for her or her family. So to tell someone to prepare for that if they get involved with a Thai woman is total bs.

The woman I am currently seeing now went back home to Surin a couple of weeks ago because her father fell ill and was in the hospital. She paid the bill of 115,000 baht. She asked me for absolutely 0 baht. When I first met this woman and she came over to stay with me I honestly thought she was a hooker. The next day I took her home and handed her 1000 baht. She looked at me confused and asked what the money was for. I felt like a total jackass.

Give it time.

[Farang99]

The Thai word รัก (ruck), usually translated as love, actually covers a whole range of feelings. Can mean as little as support (e.g. for a football team), though in personal encounters there is always hope that it also covers the "western" emotion.

[1FinickyOne]

The Thai word รัก (ruck), usually translated as love, actually covers a whole range of feelings. Can mean as little as support (e.g. for a football team), though in personal encounters there is always hope that it also covers the "western" emotion.

Isn't that exactly the same in the West? Don't people love their home town teams? Love a good cheeseburger sometimes? There used to be an advertisement on TV - Canada Dry tastes like love...

the word has little meaning anymore beyond "that old cliche"

[Saastrajaa]

Ha! I don't think Westerners are capable of love "in the Western sense". So....no. Everyone would be better off if they would stop clinging to outmoded, unrealistic ideals of how men and women should behave (like monogamy).

[Saastrajaa]

I have been in a relationship with many a Thai woman and have yet to have one ask me for monetary help for her or her family. So to tell someone to prepare for that if they get involved with a Thai woman is total bs.

The woman I am currently seeing now went back home to Surin a couple of weeks ago because her father fell ill and was in the hospital. She paid the bill of 115,000 baht. She asked me for absolutely 0 baht. When I first met this woman and she came over to stay with me I honestly thought she was a hooker. The next day I took her home and handed her 1000 baht. She looked at me confused and asked what the money was for. I felt like a total jackass.

Congratulations on your progress. For mistaking her for a sex worker, you "felt like a jackass". For not helping her with her father's hospital bill, you ARE a jackass.

[Khun Robert]

I always notice that posts about Thai woman and Foreign man always end up in:

The Thai woman are in it for the money.

I joined in a group of volunteers discussing the same thing a few years ago. So I asked the Foreign girls what their Ideal husband would be?

After some hours the answer was: A airline pilot in Canada, they look so sexy in their uniforms.

My repley: So you look for a man who is many times away from home but have a good income.

Can you not fall in love with a guy who is just cleaning at a bar?

Girls did not talk to me for days.

I can not paste the link somehow, but take a look at How to prank a gold digger on YouTube.

For sure you will have a laugh.

[smotherb]

Thai Family comes first, husband comes 2nd, end of

You mean ATM comes afterward. If there is true love, there is no other between you. That concept seems so hard to understand, especially to those who have not found true love.

[kannot]

I have been married on several occasions and my current Thai wife is the most loving and caring person I have ever been with. And as she owns a rubber tree plantation and is a school teacher I do not feel in the slightest I am Mr ATM.

especially with the current price of rubber eh???????

[Tomtomtom69]

Many Thais are capable of love in the western sense, it just depends on who they are, how well educated they are and their personality.

Bar girls and less educated Thais in general have this duty to family over anything else. More educated Thais are much more likely to love you and your kids than worrying about sending money to their family members, who, more than likely have even more money than they do.