Blackheart Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Listening to my wife's hour long rant I am fast learning she is right, most Thai woman only call when they want a favour except for a few close friends. She picks up a woman's daughter from uni today, shocked the woman asked as she barely knows my wife, then the 18 year old daughter my wife picks up keeps my wife waiting for some time, then snubs her during the ride home. No more favours for people who only call when a favour is needed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colinneil Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 All over the world, not only Thai women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koosdedooes Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Funny i have noticed this among a lot of farangs i have encountered over the years in Thailand as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
likewise Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 In my 20 years here I've noticed that this is a common Thai trait. Not only thai to farang but also amongst themselves as the OP showed. It's like everybody knows each other, are not really friends but will call upon each other when a favour is needed. Most Thais are ok with it since quite often it works both ways. Personally I stopped doing it, I prefer the 1 bird in the hand instead 2 in the bush. For Thais it is the other way around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnC Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 A friend in need , is a pain in the ar** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 It gets better when you do the favour then ask for one off them maybe 12 months later they are always "too busy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rak sa_ngop Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 The Thai have words for this: Phuan Kin is a friend only when he/she needs to eat free i.e.a sponger Phuan Tai is a friend who will die for you i.e. a true friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 (edited) All over the world, not only Thai women.Yes it happens all over the world but to what degree.I am quite sure if I started a thread about Thailand having a lot of coupes you would reply with it happens everywhere. Thailand has many ladyboys , your reply they have them in every country. Every country has every problem, but it only really becomes an issue when it happens excessively. Edited May 12, 2016 by Blackheart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bapoboy Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 (edited) All over the world, not only Thai women.Yes it happens all over the world but to what degree.I am quite sure if I started a thread about Thailand having a lot of coupes you would reply with it happens everywhere. Thailand has many ladyboys , your reply they have them in every country. Every country has every problem, but it only really becomes an issue when it happens excessively. Yes it do happen all over the world, AND YES there are many thinks that happen all over the world. Edited May 12, 2016 by bapoboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balo Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Also in the Phillippines , same same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadee Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 The OP's story makes little sense - the woman's daughter wasn't deliberately slighting the OP's wife, she has nothing to do with the arrangements her mom makes. She had no say over who picked her up and probably had little control over being held behind after class. If by 'snub' you mean not talk, she probably feels uncomfortable talking to someone she barely knows. Everything is not some big conspiracy to cause grievance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 All over the world, not only Thai women.Yes it happens all over the world but to what degree.I am quite sure if I started a thread about Thailand having a lot of coupes you would reply with it happens everywhere. Thailand has many ladyboys , your reply they have them in every country. Every country has every problem, but it only really becomes an issue when it happens excessively. The simple answer is that your wife is a poor judge of what "true friends" mean. Colin is right, this is not a Thai thing. Now be a man and straighten out your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bantex Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I frequented a small local restaurant owned by an American friend who asked me to bring him a spare part for electronic equipment from the UK on my next trip as he couldn't get the part in Asia. I obliged as it didn't cost much and the part was small. He knew when I would be leaving the area again but when he got the part, he said I would have to wait for payment until two days after I would have left. As I frequented his restaurant I told him to take the cost off my future bills and I reckon we ate more than he owed. Later he asked me to bring him something else and didn't like my reply. Never again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 The OP's story makes little sense - the woman's daughter wasn't deliberately slighting the OP's wife, she has nothing to do with the arrangements her mom makes. She had no say over who picked her up and probably had little control over being held behind after class. If by 'snub' you mean not talk, she probably feels uncomfortable talking to someone she barely knows. Everything is not some big conspiracy to cause grievance. Agree. Heck, I have relatives who only contact me if they want something. Why the OP always wants to make it a "Thai thing" is beyond me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Grumpy Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 (edited) Self-advantage is the only thing that matters here. If there is no self-advantage, there is no effort. If there is self-advantage, there are smiles, wais and friendliness. their version of charity is even based on it - making merit - giving so that they will receive in the future. Disgusting culture and society from top to bottom. Edited May 12, 2016 by Happy Grumpy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oxo1947 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 All over the world, not only Thai women. balo Posted 54 minutes ago Also in the Phillippines , same same. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No come on guys this cant be right----bad manners evilness that's gotta be Thailand women .........don't go telling him it happens elsewhere............that will just shatter his little dream ................ seems no one can say , what a shitty neighbour I have got he done.....XXXX .....or can you believe it a guy I have helped out in our estate done.......XXx its just got to be Thai people do this ----Thai People do that---rude people-----Thieves --robbers ----murderers , you can only find them in Thailand.....its their culture you see...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 The OP's story makes little sense - the woman's daughter wasn't deliberately slighting the OP's wife, she has nothing to do with the arrangements her mom makes. She had no say over who picked her up and probably had little control over being held behind after class. If by 'snub' you mean not talk, she probably feels uncomfortable talking to someone she barely knows. Everything is not some big conspiracy to cause grievance. I see, it was just snubbing, fill me in on the rest of the story if you get a chance, despite the fact that you were not there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 All over the world, not only Thai women.Yes it happens all over the world but to what degree.I am quite sure if I started a thread about Thailand having a lot of coupes you would reply with it happens everywhere. Thailand has many ladyboys , your reply they have them in every country. Every country has every problem, but it only really becomes an issue when it happens excessively. The simple answer is that your wife is a poor judge of what "true friends" mean. Colin is right, this is not a Thai thing. Now be a man and straighten out your wife. I would straighten her out but she is an independent woman, not a slave with no mind of her own to be moulded. She has a problem she deals with it asap and is not backwards in coming forward. She is very good natured however you do not know someone will wrong you until it happens, then she deals with it. Why man up and fix something that is not broken. A man does not attempt to alter a woman or change or control her, that's a weak character that does so, you should marry a robot, I will stick to my woman who has a mind of her own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 (edited) We are all obviously lovers of Thailand, but this is a forum and we can express certain dislikes of the people or place if we wish. It's normal, we all have things about Thailand that on occasion get under our skin. Surely we can express ourselves without being accused of being anti thai. Certain things that are raised negatively about thais are true, why can't it be pointed out. Or should we just stick to the usual posts,where can I buy Camembert cheese or exciting stuff like that. Edited May 12, 2016 by Blackheart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted May 12, 2016 Author Share Posted May 12, 2016 Some people are here to talk, others go through posts with a fine tooth comb looking for an argument, a spelling mistake, something to compare with such as my Thai skills are better then yours etc etc. Why can't we talk normally and politely about numerous subjects with the angry old bitter brigade piping in. No one has to agree, can still be polite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew55 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Self-advantage is the only thing that matters here. If there is no self-advantage, there is no effort. If there is self-advantage, there are smiles, wais and friendliness. their version of charity is even based on it - making merit - giving so that they will receive in the future. Disgusting culture and society from top to bottom. The Grumpy coming to the fore? I've honestly observed very few of the points you raise whilst in Thailand. I have found most Thais to be generous, often beyond their means, sincere and genuinely friendly. Maybe we mix with different Thais. To state that Thai culture and society is disgusting is beyond my comprehension. I hope you can come to enjoy Thailand in the future, her people and her culture. You sound a little bitter at the moment. Try this.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenl Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 The OP's story makes little sense - the woman's daughter wasn't deliberately slighting the OP's wife, she has nothing to do with the arrangements her mom makes. She had no say over who picked her up and probably had little control over being held behind after class. If by 'snub' you mean not talk, she probably feels uncomfortable talking to someone she barely knows. Everything is not some big conspiracy to cause grievance. I see, it was just snubbing, fill me in on the rest of the story if you get a chance, despite the fact that you were not there.He did not have to be there for the story to make no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Human beings "use" each other. It is normal. What isn't normal is when it is one sided and alas, that also seems to be "normal" with some folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 The ability to say "no," to people is a personality trait. Some people find it extremely difficult. The very same people are fully aware they are being taken advantage of but simply cannot say, "no". The result is they whinge to those nearest to them. In this case, that is you. This personality trait is highly correlated to the trait of not wanting to displease others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew55 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 No point having friends if you're not going to use them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fey Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 learn to set boundries and say no we get this in the usa, but its very rare if its not a close friend. the boundries here are much softer and your going to get people sponging, walking in your home etc if you cant set limits. then again, i dont need much in return fortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberfarang Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Do keep in mind the old saying, A Friend In Need Is To Be Avoided. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Sumo Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 All over the world, not only Thai women.Yes it happens all over the world but to what degree.I am quite sure if I started a thread about Thailand having a lot of coupes you would reply with it happens everywhere. Thailand has many ladyboys , your reply they have them in every country. Every country has every problem, but it only really becomes an issue when it happens excessively. Rubbish Ladyboys aren't everywhere in large numbers, coups don't happen everywhere but people ask favors of others they hardly know all over the world. It ain't a Thai thing, you're just bored shitless out there in Nakhon Nowhere with no one to speak English with and this is the best topic you could cobble together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I am by nature a very generous person. I have been called a guy who will give you the shirt off his back. It never ceases to amaze me how so many people over here really think they are clever and pulling one over on me. When the truth is I really dont care. I just remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberfarang Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 All over the world, not only Thai women.Yes it happens all over the world but to what degree.I am quite sure if I started a thread about Thailand having a lot of coupes you would reply with it happens everywhere. Thailand has many ladyboys , your reply they have them in every country. Every country has every problem, but it only really becomes an issue when it happens excessively. Rubbish Ladyboys aren't everywhere in large numbers, coups don't happen everywhere but people ask favors of others they hardly know all over the world. It ain't a Thai thing, you're just bored shitless out there in Nakhon Nowhere with no one to speak English with and this is the best topic you could cobble together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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