"Help Me Boot My Girlfriend Out Of London"

[walg]

i am in need of your good advice and knowledge.

my thai girlfriend has been living in london for 18 months on a student visa and loves it here. a little bit too much!!!

about 6 weeks ago i became aware of suspicious behaviour such as her hiding her phone from me. whenever she dropped her guard i realised that she deleted all the messages after each one came in. why? of course!

cut a long story short she has been seeing another guy. her reaction to my dismay was brutal and pretty much "i have done nothing wrong, ###### off!" i suppose what did i expect. an ex go go dancer. i lived in thailand for a year and knew they where untrustworthy by nature. even the posh kids i used to teach cheated at every given oportunity.

anyway i am her sponsor and i would rather not she be living in london under my nose so i want to send her back to thailand. she has a work permit but only part time, 20 hours and i have got some of her wage slips showing 30 plus hours. obviously a breach of the restrictions.

i am also worried she will bugger up my future chances of ever sponsoring someone else.

can i apply in someway to the home office and hopefully get her sent back?

will they mark her card, so to speak, so she can't return easily?

if so how?

any suggestions welcome.

my personal feelings. . . well i am devastated. i am a shell of unhappiness. can't eat properly. can't sleep properly basically very very sad. i put everyhting into that girl and now im ######ed.

thanks in advance for helping me. it was you guys who helped me get her here now ironically i hope you can get her OUT of here.

apologies for the dual post.

[helicoptor]

Plenty of threads on here to browse through - knock yourself out! you are not the first and wont be the last

[ltdknowledge]

I have had many arguments over these type of relationships. All i can say is that you took advantage of the situation in Thailand knowing full well and how easy it is to pick up a bar girl, some being very pleasant i'm sure. It seems to me she has now taken advantage of your situations.

The shoe is on the other foot i would say, and now you want to rid her like trash.

[britmaveric]

Contact immigration and ask for advice on how to proceed. Better yet contact Scouser.

I'm sure you aren't the first lad for this to happen to nor the last.

[Mobi]

Firstly you should tell her to find her own accommodation at her own expense - straight away. If she's got a new man, maybe he'll put her up.

The important thing is to get her out of your life - completely - you owe her nothing.

Then either call or write to immigratioin and advise them that you no longer have any involement with her. You originally sponsored her in good faith so I cannot see that you will have any come back - either now or in the future - as long as you report the situation truthfully now.

I wouldn't mention the extra working hours unless it they specifically ask you about it.

Sorry to hear of your troubles - we've all been there, one way or another.

There's plenty more where she came from.

Good luck.

[Pink Mist]

I have had many arguments over these type of relationships. All i can say is that you took advantage of the situation in Thailand knowing full well and how easy it is to pick up a bar girl, some being very pleasant i'm sure. It seems to me she has now taken advantage of your situations.

The shoe is on the other foot i would say, and now you want to rid her like trash.

really is it that simple?, you assume she is BG and he took advantage of a situation.

do you realise how difficult it is to get a visa

[ltdknowledge]

I have had many arguments over these type of relationships. All i can say is that you took advantage of the situation in Thailand knowing full well and how easy it is to pick up a bar girl, some being very pleasant i'm sure. It seems to me she has now taken advantage of your situations.

The shoe is on the other foot i would say, and now you want to rid her like trash.

really is it that simple?, you assume she is BG and he took advantage of a situation.

do you realise how difficult it is to get a visa

Whats the visa got to do with anything. Sorry buddy but the majority of fellas going to Thailand go for one or two reasons, he did mention she was a gogo girl, similar line isn't it? The majority of A-Holes i've spoken to on countless flights over here on what there are going to do or intend to do is endless. You dig your own hole as far as i'm concerened.

Edited November 14, 2006 by ltdknowledge

[VanZam]

Well the OP did advise that she was indeed a gogo girl....

[helicoptor]

Agree on kicking her out, Thai or otherwise, your gf cheats on you, you Kick her out, no second chances - once a cheat always a cheat ( any cheats in?)

[Pink Mist]

Well the OP did advise that she was indeed a gogo girl....

is that a bg or a dancer?

[Maestro]

cut a long story short she has been seeing another guy. her reaction to my dismay was brutal and pretty much "i have done nothing wrong, ###### off!" i suppose what did i expect. an ex go go dancer.

Is this the same young lady you were talking about here two years ago?

i have been seeing ning for 2 years, 1 year of which i was living in thailand. she is currently a student and finishes college around songkran next year. her family are able to support her and her sister through college and university but are certainly not rich. i want to bring her to the uk for a holiday of maybe a month or two. i have a good job with a good income but no real assets such as a house. i can always borrow 10,000 or so for 6 months to make my bank account look better. i am 33 she is 20.

--------------

Maestro

[britmaveric]

Whats the visa got do do with anything. Sorry buddy but the majority of fellas going to Thailand go for one or two reasons, he did mention she was a gogo girl, similar line isn't it? The majority of A-Holes i've spoken to on countless flights over here on what there are going to do or intend to do is countless. You dig your own hole as far as i'm concerened.

I think the OP had good right to be pissed, so what if she happened to work as a go go dancer. He put faith in their relationship and got dirtied after he brought her to the UK. No one deserves that and his gf should have been big enough to finish with him and go back to thailand if she wasnt interested in him any more.

[helicoptor]

cut a long story short she has been seeing another guy. her reaction to my dismay was brutal and pretty much "i have done nothing wrong, ###### off!" i suppose what did i expect. an ex go go dancer.

Is this the same young lady you were talking about here two years ago?

i have been seeing ning for 2 years, 1 year of which i was living in thailand. she is currently a student and finishes college around songkran next year. her family are able to support her and her sister through college and university but are certainly not rich. i want to bring her to the uk for a holiday of maybe a month or two. i have a good job with a good income but no real assets such as a house. i can always borrow 10,000 or so for 6 months to make my bank account look better. i am 33 she is 20.

--------------

Maestro

Diverse Career hey?

[John_Rambo]

The OP's completely in the right with this one, time for her to go home.

[kayo]

Nonetheless, regardless of the nature (foresight, rights and wrongs...) of the situation, the man is now responsable (sponsor) for someone who is cheating him, disrespecting him.

He may or may not be a saint or an ar.se, and I mean the OP no offence by saying so, but in the eyes of the home office, this cheating, lying girl is HIS charge. He wants to keep his name clean.

So let's lay of the judging, and try helping?

(I don't know enough about the relevant laws and procedures so I shall keep my peace.)

Edited November 14, 2006 by kayo

[ltdknowledge]

Whats the visa got do do with anything. Sorry buddy but the majority of fellas going to Thailand go for one or two reasons, he did mention she was a gogo girl, similar line isn't it? The majority of A-Holes i've spoken to on countless flights over here on what there are going to do or intend to do is countless. You dig your own hole as far as i'm concerened.

I think the OP had good right to be pissed, so what if she happened to work as a go go dancer. He put faith in their relationship and got dirtied after he brought her to the UK. No one deserves that and his gf should have been big enough to finish with him and go back to thailand if she wasnt interested in him any more.

I agree, but you dig your own hole. Yes end the relationship but he speaks of her as though she was trash. Who's to blame?

Edited November 14, 2006 by ltdknowledge

[London Crocodile]

he speaks of her as though she was trash.

She is

[John_Rambo]

Yep, if you look at the way she's treating him, it's hard to argue a case against her being trash. The U.K and the OP will be better off without her. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[walg]

it is indeed the same girl from years ago. i met her in pattaya where she was indeed a go go girl. a week after we met she went back to udonthani and spent a year at her mums finishing off her high school diploma. that is, i reckon why she got a visa easily.

for the purpose of this post i didnt mention her study. the facts remain the same. she was a go go girl.

thanks for the replys. even the bad ones help believe it or not. i dont mean to throw her out like trash. i still love her dearly and to be honest would have her back in a minute.

[rocky]

Leopards don’t change spots. He likes Go Go girls and would perhaps be trading her in for a younger model in a few years time. She is a Go Go girl and still has a client base. He liked what he got when it was only one way, she is only covering her bases. After all it is just business, Meet a person through business and you have a business relationship.

I have seen this work both ways time and time again. i.e Man being butterfly when every the chance arrives, after all meet a lover in a Go Go bar, it is easy to go back and do them all. Go Go girl keeping in contact with the network she has worked so hard to set up.

[walg]

i was niave i know now. i thought she was different when she stopped working and returned to college.

[britmaveric]

Walg -profession means nought mate. Know a lad who's been married for sometime to an ex-gogo dancer. Oh forgot to add happily! Dare say not an old contact, but someone she met here while you were working.

[kayo]

Crickey.. we got both Rambo and Rocky replying ont his one! ...

Good luck to You Walg.. Don't seem like such a bad chap.

Please don't, as someone suggested, make the same mistake with another "younger model" and please don't fool yourself or let her fool you into taking her back, if what you've said is to the best of your knowledge true. Do what your OP stated you wanted to do. Keep your name clean withthe Gov't. Mayeb her sponsorship can be changed to her other bloke, or something. Then at least it's not so harsh. either way, I think you're right.

[Mr Jones]

It reminded my of a bloke I knew, he was sha@@ing a married women, they got caught, she eventually divorced her husband an they got married, not long after she was up to her old tricks and the stupid sod was devastated.

He knew what she was like before they got married (an adulteress) so why did he think he could change her? I asked.

As the old saying a Tiger never changes it spots.

[ltdknowledge]

It reminded my of a bloke I knew, he was sha@@ing a married women, they got caught, she eventually divorced her husband an they got married, not long after she was up to her old tricks and the stupid sod was devastated.

He knew what she was like before they got married (an adulteress) so why did he think he could change her? I asked.

As the old saying a Tiger never changes it spots.

Or a leapord even! Unless it's a tiger with incurable acne.

Edited November 14, 2006 by ltdknowledge

[kayo]

[Mr Jones]

Malapropisms dear boy Malapropisms

[kayo]

Mala wot, jonesy?

Sounds like a description of this girl!

MalaGOGOchism

Edited November 14, 2006 by kayo

[London Crocodile]

Walg -profession means nought mate.

I would tend to think otherwise, if you start a personal relationship with a prostitute the chances are you will be burned. However if you manage to stay together and set up a family etc chances are she was just wanting to get out of the game and any old mug would have done.

Good luck to the OP, he sounds like a good guy.

[austallia_1980]

i dont think it is fair for you to send her home when some other guy is having his way with her. atleast offer him the chance to sponser her for you. it is not fair for him to lose good sex for nothing. if he sponsers her then you can still sponser more go go dancer in the future.