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Nutter neighbour insults wife - what can we do? Help please.


cliveshep

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8 minutes ago, smccolley said:

A few years ago we had a similar problem. The daughter of a neighbor did not like the neighborhood kids that my children played with. One day the daughter attempted/pretended to run the kids over with her motorbike. Well my wife was having none of that.

We immediately called our "friendly" policeman and told him the story. His recommendation was to "take the low cost option" which means calling someone to deal with the issue. First we located the farang husband of the woman who's daughter was the offender and located him in a local drinking establishment. Once we explained the story he said he would take care of it immediately. At the same time we called a thai friend who, although he is big, is very mild mannered.

The thai friend and the house owner showed up about the same time. We arrived back at the house to witness the mild mannered Thai man blocking the entire street with his minivan and yelling loud enough to hear it 100m away. The farang was loudly agreeing.

Minutes later the offending party arrived and wai'ed at my wife's feet.

It has never happened again. Peer pressure really works well in Thailand. The thing was, it happened once and the response was fast and hard, delivered by locals. Message received and problem solved.

I thought you said the farang husband/father had promised to go straight home and tske care of it.

Why did you need to involve the local Thai guy again?

And why would you actually brag about it here?

Edited by ClutchClark
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How do you know she tried to buy a gun!!! Had a little taste of what you are going through got her father and head man involved. They got it sorted within an hour. In the end she became a good neibour looking after our house and dogs whilst we were away. Then I ended up buying her land and house. She went to live with a man. Demolished house and built a 3 bed to rent out. So there are ways to explore

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2 minutes ago, Deepinthailand said:

How do you know she tried to buy a gun!!! Had a little taste of what you are going through got her father and head man involved. They got it sorted within an hour. In the end she became a good neibour looking after our house and dogs whilst we were away. Then I ended up buying her land and house. She went to live with a man. Demolished house and built a 3 bed to rent out. So there are ways to explore

So just curious but did you post this just to brag about your real estate savvy ?

Just kidding.  Did the OP try and talk to the headman? Or is that more of a Village life thing ?

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There is no way to get the police to jail her; shame her or get the parents or husband involved to try and stop her. This lady is mentally ill and it appears her medication is not working as she continues to do bizarre things. The police will keep coming and do nothing because they don't know what to do. She has not physically hurt anyone-yet. I am afraid the only solution is to sell the house and that is going to take 6months to a year as the Thai economy  is not good.  The only other interim solution might be to ask the husband or parents the name and location of her doctor and then visit him and ask for advice on handling her. However, since the meds are not working- he may not have an answer except having her committed to a mental institution and that takes a court order. I am afraid there is no easy answer. I have dealt with mentally ill people before and it is impossible to reason with someone like this. They need proper medication and full time monitoring by a psychiatrist. She may not even be under the care of a psychiatrist-only a regular doctor who may not have the experience to treat her properly or assign the correct meds. To me, selling is the only way out and if you can afford it- renting until the home is sold to preserve your wife's sanity and yours. I feel for you and I wish I had a better response.

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12 minutes ago, ClutchClark said:

So just curious but did you post this just to brag about your real estate savvy ?

Just kidding.  Did the OP try and talk to the headman? Or is that more of a Village life thing ?

Yes of course I did isn't that what this forum is about self gratification. lol

No idea if he talked to anyone first port of call I would have thought. I was just saying there are several options to explore before I'd move for a nutty woman

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It sounds as if he has explored all the viable options- except contact her doctor. That, to me, is the only hope he has of remaining there.  Dependent on where this is taking place- most Thai psychiatrists operate in private Bangkok hospitals with a few scattered in the provinces. Thailand does not have a good record on handling mental illness. Most Thais do not understand it and try and keep the mentally ill at home and under some type of control. They would most likely never agree to a voluntary commitment to a mental hospital and the alternative would be getting a lawyer; and trying for a committal. This would be a long court  process and in the meantime the OP and his wife would still be there.

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Have you tried a substantial donation to the police (e.g. 20,000 Baht). The police also offer a service for a couple of hundred baht per month where they patrol past your house a few times a day (they put a red box  near your gate and the patrolling officer has to sign it). This is all about trying to increase the police presence. Sooner or later she will vandalise the red box, or make trouble for the police when they are outside your gate and they will be forced to take action.

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The police charging her with trespassor destruction of property are only buying time- I doubt a judge would send her to jail once he realizes she is mentally ill. However, repeat appearances may invoke a possible committment. How many times she would have to appear in court and how long this would take is an unknow but I would guess a long time. In the meantime- the OP and wife get  little relief. It appears the lady has no fear of the police- which would make sense since she is mentally ill.

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1 minute ago, Stevemercer said:

Have you tried a substantial donation to the police (e.g. 20,000 Baht). The police also offer a service for a couple of hundred baht per month where they patrol past your house a few times a day (they put a red box  near your gate and the patrolling officer has to sign it). This is all about trying to increase the police presence. Sooner or later she will vandalise the red box, or make trouble for the police when they are outside your gate and they will be forced to take action.

 

As the poster clearly knows the police will not be of any help here, there is nothing much they will do in this kind of situation.

If you buy a red box they don't visit a few times a day, once or twice if you are lucky.

A police red box is simply an advertisement to tell thieves that you have something worth stealing!

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One of retirees worst nightmares, a wacko Thai neighbor making an otherwise agreeable existence into a daily dread.

You are not going to change the neighbor, neighbor probably does not like foreigners in general and foreigner's wives in particular.

Look for a cheap rental in another town, rent out your house, tell you wife to get off your back before she does permanent damage to your relationship.

BTW, neighbors from hell can be found everywhere, just like trolls on forums.

Edited by Rod Gold
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Wear large ear protection head gear so the next door neighbor knows you can not hear her when she sees you wearing the ear protection gear.

Turn up the music and drown the women out.

Obtain some dogs and keep them on a strong chain but let the dogs go berserk when ever they see the neighbor.

Call the pizza deliver companies to have pizza delivered to her at odd hours.

Call the mental institute and have them come around and visit her.

All kinds of pay back is possible...lol

Cheers

Edited by gemguy
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2 hours ago, Agent Sumo said:

Feel for the OP but this is one of the realities behind the facade of "living the dream".

People come here, marvel at the "200 sqm townhouse for 3,000 baht a month" but they completely forget that, at that price, they'll almost certainly be living cheek-by-jowl with the kind of neighbours who might not think twice about blasting music a 4am on a weeknight or, like the OP, a psycho who just wants to make his life difficult.

If you can afford to spend the money on a nice place in a nice area, then you definitely should. 

 

 

Absolute crap, even the best and most expensive places have crap neighbors. Actually only too often, much the worse neighbors. Plenty of psycho's on TV.

 

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Seems like caveat emptor to me. You knew about the previous tenants and the CCTV and the eggs being thrown and the police being round and you moved in anyway? More fool you. She hates your wife because she is slim and attractive? Don't think so. She's either mentally ill or she's not. Thats you putting your judgement on it and what's all the nonsense about guns and hitmen? Don't talk shit on TV mate. If you were a hard <deleted>, which your not, you would just gone round and sorted her already mental or not, without having to big it up on an anonymous forum. I'll give ya a hint people that use guns against other people and hire hitmen don't ask people that dont know or even ask anyone at all whether they should use them or not.

Edited by starky
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On 30/07/2016 at 1:44 PM, cliveshep said:

And spend final years in a Thai prison before being deported if I was still alive. Like THAT advice is sensible! Get real!

Oh unlike the sensibility of the handguns and hitmen proposal. Brilliant 

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OP: try laughing at her.  All of you at the same time, the more she goes on the harder you laugh.  Maybe repeat what she says, mock her etc.  When she starts "uh-oh, crazy neighbor lady again!"  Keep it up and it'll eventually push her over the edge, so be careful as it could be harmful.

This may not be economically feasible, but how about buying her property (via a cut-out) and then putting it on the market, choosing your own buyer?

 

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If it were me , i think i would do what my friend did in aussie, when his wife took his money, he put a advertisement on a dating site that she was for sale cheap, every nite some guy would come around full of piss, and try to chat her up, worked a treat, she left shortly after that. 

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I spent a lot of time near my prospective house before buying for this type of reason. It would be tempting to go over and put her on the ground, but sadly there's nothing you can do with a mental case like this. A friend's wife is similarly abusive, though not as extreme, and nothing can be done to contain her behaviour. Whatever you try -- police, lawyers, laughing at her, making friends -- will have zero or a detrimental effect since she sounds too far gone. Only one choice and you already know that is. I would beautify the facade as much as possible and lower the price to get out of there.

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12 hours ago, csabo said:

Your wife wants a gun or to hire a hit man because of name calling  and thinks the British Embassy would be interested in this and you think it's the neighbor who is nuts?

Lol@csabo.

 

RAOFLAO !

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2 minutes ago, MiKT said:

Sfunny, but my intellect tells me this post is about Thailand, which your minuscule brain seems to have a lot of trouble grasping. Please stick to trying to post something useful to the guy who has pleaded for help to overcome a difficult situation with a THAI neighbor which is most certainly not the same as in any other country. Can you assimilate that, or only post insults?

Wow I thought the post you originally took such offence at was talking about Thailand but I wouldn't expect your "intellect" to be able to remember that far back

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