25 years old and getting a vasectomy

[Bonobojt]

Back in the UK now after 3 months in Southeast Asia, and now I think its a good time to do something that's been on my mind a lot this year, getting a Vasectomy, but I'm only 25 years old...

 

The main reason is money, I think having a kid these days is stressful and expensive, you lose your freedom and your relationship or marriage isn't guaranteed to last. My brother and a co worker has had a kid and they both say its the best thing that's ever happened to them, but they both have split up with the mother, and I can't help but think about how easier their lives would be if they never had kids.

 

Also, condoms break, this happened to me last year in Koh Samui, the next few days was a bit scary after that, luckily she took the pill straight away but its still possible to still pregnant, I had to go back to Bangkok a few days after, I'll never know the outcome of that incident..

its a big decision I know, but I think its a smart decision if its right for me. 

 

I think you can get it done free on the NHS here in Engand, but maybe I'm too young and they won't accept me, is it possible to get it done in Thailand as a tourist and whats the price ?

 

[sinbin]

Quote

I think you can get it done free on the NHS here in Engand, but maybe I'm too young and they won't accept me, is it possible to get it done in Thailand as a tourist and whats the price ?

I believe they carry out FREE vasectomies at the Cabbage & Condoms in Bangkok. No joke honest. I believe TV might have run an article about it a few years back. Anyways, you're too young to be thinking getting one. If you are adamant in doing it then why don't you have a sperm deposit placed in an IVF clinic to be frozen just in case you change your mind? There's a good chance this may be done free, depending on clinic, or at very little cost.

 

Yeah I was right. 

 

Edited October 9, 2016 by sinbin

[tifino]

 

wow! get a  'temp marry bargirl for a week' and tell the bargirl your life story:

who you really are,

address at home,

home phone numbers

 

wifey's good friend did that... got held by the short and curlies, soon after...

 

When he returned to OZ, he gets a call about month or so later...

 

He somehow believed he was the father,

so he follows the Pattaya girls Orders:

and leaves his wife, and goes back to LOS, then

brings over, then marries the Pattaya girl.

 

 

she eventually drops the kid out the spout, and it's not his after all  (blood types problem gets revealed some time down the track)

 

Pattaya girl divorces him,

takes the house,

accused him of beating her up, and

gets an OZ citizenship automatically - because the Court believed the accusation.

 

 

He's then homeless,

and the old Ozzie first ex-wife dutifully takes him back, and licks his wounds

 

 

at your age OP, maybe just go and get the tubes Tied, instead of Cut

 

 

 

 

Edited October 9, 2016 by tifino

[sinbin]

8 minutes ago, tifino said:

 

 

 

 

at your age OP, maybe just go and get the tubes Tied, instead of Cut

 

 

 

 

You can't tie them.

[tifino]

Just now, sinbin said:

You can't tie them.

 

had it done, back when the procedure was a 'new' way (that was in 1995)

 

I can safely state, that it bl**dy hurts

 

because of that, even two relationships + marriage later, I haven't had it reversed as yet.

( because it will bl**dy hurt again)

[yaagjon]

I have four children, three of them I paid child support for nearly 15 years in Australia. The other ( Thai ) I pay for him to go to an international school in Pattaya that costs me about 500,000 and I give his mother about 500,000 a year. 

I wouldn't change anything.

Some things are worth more than money.

 

I would wait at least another 5 years, you are too young.

[sinbin]

9 minutes ago, tifino said:

 

had it done, back when the procedure was a 'new' way (that was in 1995)

 

 

You'll have to provide a link mate cuz I can't find anything on the web.

[Sheryl]

It is harder to find a place that will do it at that age in Thailand than it will be i nthe West.

 

Most require age over 30 and at least one child.

[tifino]

1 minute ago, sinbin said:

You'll have to provide a link mate cuz I can't find anything on the web.

 

I'm trying to rack my brains what was the actual name for the procedure, but chew on this in the meantime:

http://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?t=801080

[kevozman1]

Sounds like a horrible idea at 25. Without coming across as condescending there are other options in the form of condoms for casual hook ups and contraceptive implants and pills if you have a partner and do not want to have children still.  Vasectomy reversal is not guaranteed and your  ideas and plans will probably change over the years. At 25 I was thinking similar thoughts as you, 7 years on and you know what, having some kids in the future is something I do want. 

[Gary A]

I had a vasectomy many years ago when I was about your age. My family doctor didn't like the idea because he knew we would eventually divorce and when I remarried, my new wife would want kids. I told him that two children were what was keeping me in this bad marriage and I never wanted to get in this position again. He gave me two options, one was to cut the tubes, overlap them and tie them together. The other option was to snip a piece out and tie off the ends. That way would not be reversible. I chose the non reversible option and I have never regretted my choice.

[kevozman1]

10 minutes ago, Gary A said:

I had a vasectomy many years ago when I was about your age. My family doctor didn't like the idea because he knew we would eventually divorce and when I remarried, my new wife would want kids. I told him that two children were what was keeping me in this bad marriage and I never wanted to get in this position again. He gave me two options, one was to cut the tubes, overlap them and tie them together. The other option was to snip a piece out and tie off the ends. That way would not be reversible. I chose the non reversible option and I have never regretted my choice.

 

But you already had 2 children at that point. OP as far as I can tell doesn't have any. Vasectomy is a bit extreme for his circumstance imo, but admittedly he will need a like minded partner he can trust if he goes down the female contraception route.

Edited October 9, 2016 by kevozman1

[Gary A]

14 minutes ago, kevozman1 said:

 

But you already had 2 children at that point. OP as far as I can tell doesn't have any. Vasectomy is a bit extreme for his circumstance imo, but admittedly he will need a like minded partner he can trust if he goes down the female contraception route.

 

That is true. My ex-wife knew a divorce was bound to be coming and she was supposed to be taking birth control pills. She claimed they didn't work. I think she trapped me into having another child.  That didn't stop the divorce. I ended up paying child support for two rather than one. I love my kids but didn't appreciate being trapped. It wasn't good for the kids and it wasn't good for me being miserable with a miserable woman.

[khunpa]

I have 4 kids and had the same thoughts, when I was your age. However, I would strongly advise you to wait until you are older, before you make such a decision. Your life and mindset will change as time goes by. And when you one day have the kids, you will find other values in life with them.

 

Yes, it is a financial and emotional burden, but believe me... it is also worth it.

 

My sister choose to not have kids. She is now over 50 and regrets that decision every day. So think about it, before you do it.

[retoohs]

if the OP isn't the nurturing type it's better he gets snipped rather than becoming an unwilling selfish parent

[hellohello123]

14 hours ago, tifino said:

 

wow! get a  'temp marry bargirl for a week' and tell the bargirl your life story:

who you really are,

address at home,

home phone numbers

 

wifey's good friend did that... got held by the short and curlies, soon after...

 

When he returned to OZ, he gets a call about month or so later...

 

He somehow believed he was the father,

so he follows the Pattaya girls Orders:

and leaves his wife, and goes back to LOS, then

brings over, then marries the Pattaya girl.

 

 

she eventually drops the kid out the spout, and it's not his after all  (blood types problem gets revealed some time down the track)

 

Pattaya girl divorces him,

takes the house,

accused him of beating her up, and

gets an OZ citizenship automatically - because the Court believed the accusation.

 

 

He's then homeless,

and the old Ozzie first ex-wife dutifully takes him back, and licks his wounds

 

 

at your age OP, maybe just go and get the tubes Tied, instead of Cut

 

 

 

 

there must be a word/pic/meme to describe people like this!

 

some people are just beyond help

[retoohs]

17 hours ago, hellohello123 said:

there must be a word/pic/meme to describe people like this!

 

some people are just beyond help

Sucker??

[balo]

Ehh that sounds terrible,  condoms do work you know . I would never do that to my sensitive organ .

 

 

 

[BangkokHank]

I had a vasectomy at the age of 25 in the US.  The first doctor I went to refused to do it because of my age and because I hadn't had children.  But my boss at the time was good friends with a urologist who was willing to perform the procedure for me.

 

I am now 57 and I never regretted it - not even a little.  People are different.  Some can know at an early age what they want.

[evadgib]

I agree the OP is too young but having been through the UK family court and CSA process I fully understand why his generation would think that way. Thai courts have nothing on the biased and secretive manner in which they operated and there's sod all you can do about it, especially if working for the Govt as i was.

Edited October 11, 2016 by evadgib

[The Dark Lord]

I got it at 40 coz the wife was such a horrible person during the last pregnancy ( and didn't recover) that it was the snip or 20 years to life for murder.

 

i will never forget the doctor injecting the local anaesthetic in each of my two chaps or the smell of flesh burning when they soldered up the pipes after snipping them.

 

didnt regret what I did ( dumped wife anyway) but did pile on the KG later on in life that stubbornly fail to go away

 

that was done at Marie stopes in U.K. Can't recall if it cost me anything, probably due to the Post snip trauma as I tried to walk out.

 

 

[scoutman360]

I never wanted children ever. I finally got the snip at an old age and wish I had it done when I was 25. Thai girls, or any girl, might be dangerous and try to use pregnancy to get their ATM card. You must ALWAYS use a condom if there is any chance of getting someone pregnant. If she is getting monthly shots, you go to the clinic with her. If she is taking the pill, you watch her take it every day. Even my sister tells me about how many young girls in her home town trap men and get themselves pregnant. I don't blame you for your thoughts. But I like the idea from the other poster that you should get a sperm sample frozen just in case you may change your mind in the future.

 

For me, there was never any doubt. Hearing screaming children at the swimming pool or listening to ears bleeding shrills on the plane reminds me of what hell must sound like. Every time I see a parent look like they want to cry, I thank God for my decision. To each their own.

 

[hellohello123]

Having a vasectomy  etc is completely  up to you. But just be aware that people do change for whatever reason.

 

If its an irreversible procedure such as tattoo  (yeah tattos seem to be reversible  these days). Just be realistic that todays you will not be tomorrows you

[tonray]

Vasectomy doesn't protect against STDs last time I checked. If your reasoning is to be free and easy without worry...think again.

[tutsiwarrior]

what sheryl said about being 'neutered' in Thailand is true...I tried gettin' some cats around here neutered and was met with a hail of abuse...procreativity is holy around here, regardless of species...

 

to address the OP concern there is a story: I remember when I was workin' onna loggin' crew in Oregon and I was with an associate out in the brush havin' a break and he sez; 'I'm thinkin' about gettin' cut...'

 

now, 'ol Rocky was a traditional type, a third generation logger and a tough dude an' it looked like he was havin' doubts...and I said: 'it's irreversible and ye gots to be sure' and then he returned immediately with: 'ain't no law sez ye gotta have kids...'

 

and then I sez: 'it's courageous what yer doin'...ye just gots to be sure...' he was happily married and etc...but his decision reflected his harsh childhood livin' in poverty inna shack without plumbing up the Mackenzie river...

 

we were the same age (24) but he'd been a squad leader in Vietnam an' I'd been to college...

 

 

 

 

Edited October 11, 2016 by tutsiwarrior

[burgerking]

Slow down my friend your only 25 years old. Think it through very carefully, you still have your whole life ahead of you.

[Bonobojt]

I've always felt a little uncomfortable around babies and kids, even my own Niece, I was never truly close to her, I'm the kid of guy that enjoys my own company and I enjoy the company women, but I've also never had a serious relationship before, though I've had offer's in Thailand. I like to travel and enjoy myself, I think some parents look miserable. I think marriage and kids is not for me, at least in England, if I lived in Thailand and got into a relationship, maybe I could end up regretting it, maybe not. but I know for sure I don't want kids and marriage in England. 

Edited October 11, 2016 by Bonobojt