Getting ex-Girlfriend to leave the apartment

[catman20]

On 11/21/2016 at 2:10 PM, DrDweeb said:

I am heartbroken.

 

We have been together for 8+ years and it seems the last three she has been living a duplicitous life (sporadically), while I was planning and working on paying for our lives. Her son only knows me as his dad - it is going to be horrible - I care for him a great deal.

 

She has thrown the dice, not me.

just get yourself together and dont dwell on the boy or her, be strong move on with your life. i would never date a Thai lady without living in the country. Try staying single for a while you might enjoy it better.  As for getting her out of your property without a confrontation it may be worth dropping a police man a few baht and ask him to remove her, 5,000 should do the trick you will have no trouble with her most Thai are scared or respect the police. 5,000 baht well spent, good luck mate.

[catman20]

2 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

I am glad to have read in this thread that the OP is more humane than you are.

 

You go on punishing the child for what the mother has done and feel proud of yourself

 

it was her job to think about that mate.

[acid thunder]

1 minute ago, catman20 said:

it was her job to think about that mate.

 

Indeed.  She wants her cake and eat it. 

 

The OP has already stated that he'll support the boy's education so nothing more to be done other than kick her sorry butt out of his life.

[williamgeorgeallen]

money solves pretty much everything in thailand. you need to ask her how much to leave and got to the police station and get an agreement that she will not come to your place again or try to contact you again. have had a few friends in similar situations, they always come back for more money but if she does you just call the cops and they will cart her away to be fined. might sound a bit extreme but it should give you peace of mind. hope it goes well and would be interesting to hear what happens.

[Johnniey]

On 21/11/2016 at 11:03 AM, samsensam said:

 

the most important thing is to stay calm, stay strong and logical.

 

before any show down i would ensure valuable documents and cash, credit cards etc and any other things you dont want damaged/stolen are removed from the apartment to a safe place

 

let her know that you know what she has been up to, show her the evidence

 

tell her the relationship is over

 

tell her that the financial support has finished. immediately.

 

dont get into discussions or arguments or any drama, keep reiterating; the relationship is over due to her actions, financial support has finished due to her actions and she has to leave due to her actions

 

if she needs money she knows where she can go

 

if she needs somewhere to live she knows where to go

 

have a fall back position; as there is a child involved offer to pay for a room for a week to enable her to contact family, friends, her lover who will take over responsibility for her and the child

 

again; stay calm, strong and logical.

 

good luck.

 

 

No need to tell her anything.

 

Change the locks and tell her to get the ***** out.

[Johnniey]

2 minutes ago, acid thunder said:

 

Indeed.  She wants her cake and eat it. 

 

The OP has already stated that he'll support the boy's education so nothing more to be done other than kick her sorry butt out of his life.

Oh no , he hasn't has he. Why on earth do that?  If he does, he is giving the message to the woman that he is a walkover

 

[hanuman2543]

1 hour ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Nope, not criminal law. They have no right to act

 

Trespassing?

[acid thunder]

Just now, Johnniey said:

Oh no , he hasn't has he. Why on earth do that?  If he does, he is giving the message to the woman that he is a walkover

 

His decision and I suspect he can well afford to. 

 

Doesn't mean he can't expunge the lady from his life on a permanent basis.

[Johnniey]

1 minute ago, acid thunder said:

 

His decision and I suspect he can well afford to. 

 

Doesn't mean he can't expunge the lady from his life on a permanent basis.

Nothing to do with being able to afford it.

 

Codependency comes to mind.

 

 

[acid thunder]

Just now, Johnniey said:

Nothing to do with being able to afford it.

 

Codependency comes to mind.

 

Up to him.  Don't shoot the messenger.

 

If it were me and I had a soft spot for the lad then I'd do the same.

[catman20]

1 hour ago, DrDweeb said:

Oh, I'll get her a room until end of school term so he can finish the year at that school. After that, she will need to get extra funding from somewhere else. I don't want to force her onto the street, that would destroy everything about her that is good, and would be very detrimental to her son, who is a great and smart kid.

 

Cost is not an issue, however the principle is - I do not take kindly to those who betray my trust. Since she has made her bed, she needs to lie in it, and feel some not inconsiderable discomfort while doing so.

lets hope you stick to your word. good luck

[Johnniey]

3 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Human nature doesn't work that way. The OP has taken care of the child for several years and there are therefore feelings involved

 

In my experience, I''ve seen this happen alot. 31 years living here and 4 kids of my own.

 

The guy will end up paying for the woman who cheated on him(through her son), the son will totally disrespect the guy paying the bills. I've never seen such a situation work our well. Kick them both out and find a woman with integrity and start a new life without baggage from some Sl** that you presumably brought out the gutter. 

 

Sorry to be blunt.

[dorayme]

Do not feel guilty. She can probably go back to her family. A parting gift would be admirable so she is not out in the street.

 

Good luck.

[muffy]

Kick her butt and throw her out .

[A1Str8]

2 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Nope, not criminal law. They have no right to act

 

They do

[DrDweeb]

34 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

In my experience, I''ve seen this happen alot. 31 years living here and 4 kids of my own.

 

The guy will end up paying for the woman who cheated on him(through her son), the son will totally disrespect the guy paying the bills. I've never seen such a situation work our well. Kick them both out and find a woman with integrity and start a new life without baggage from some Sl** that you presumably brought out the gutter. 

 

Sorry to be blunt.

I didn't "bring her out of the gutter". Imagine, if you will, that I have had a perfectly normal relationship with someone who is mostly normal. Not a bar girl, or street girl. Just an ordinary person, who decided to make a grab for something better/different while relying on me to be there as backstop if it failed. This is characteristic behaviour of women generally, not just Thai women.

The fact is that until recently I still worked, so that has meant I am away working sometimes. This is counterbalanced by several months a year spent together in Europe. School rather dictates the scheduling.
 

Edited November 22, 2016 by DrDweeb

[DrDweeb]

1 hour ago, elgordo38 said:

Yes the worst kind. Bring a younger better looking babe home and introduce her as the new maid. You owning the condo makes it tough. You could pack her bags and put them in the hallway and change the locks. Be sure to put an 8x12 picture of the perpetrator that stole her heart on top of the bag and copies of any proofs you have. Put maybe 5,000 bahts inside the bag for mad money your being mad of course. Make sure there are no financial strings attached first no card pin numbers joint accounts etc. things that can come back and bite you and of course things will get ugly. 

I can't imagine that I would do that, or that it would help matters

[muffy]

Let the new boyfriend take her . 

[DrDweeb]

54 minutes ago, yogi100 said:

 

Are you sure.

 

I've met quite a few Thai girls who've told me that their Thai husband is dead, in fact too many for it to be feasible. Usually down to motor bike accidents.

Good question. It is a matter of trust. As far as I am aware, he died. It was congenital illness, rather than an accident.

[yogi100]

4 minutes ago, DrDweeb said:

Good question. It is a matter of trust. As far as I am aware, he died. It was congenital illness, rather than an accident.

 

 Concentrate on getting her out of your life and mind. I spend half my life in Pattaya, Many of my friends have had awful experiences with Thai women and it's best to let what they tell you go in one ear and out the other.

 

You've had some good well meaning advice on here from different fellows. The best cure for a bad time with a woman is replacement therapy and when you get to Thailand you'll be in the ideal place to get some of it.

[daveAustin]

I think you're doing everything right (and it's admirable taking care of the kid), apart from perhaps negotiating from over there. I'd be making sure the chanot is locked away first even though it's in your name. After everything is done, I'd be looking to sell up and move on.

 

It sucks, and most of us have been there. The analogy of that type of woman being a like a monkey (and no disrespect meant here to women in general )... they keep hold of one branch while reaching for the next. Just think yourself lucky you're not married to it. Dodged a bullet there. 

[sead]

Sell it and buy new one.  Rent it out through condo office.  Tell her fuckfriend to take care of her. 

[kannot]

Being made way to complicated, she chose this  path so its  simple. Come back wait till shes out change  locks call her and  tell her to clear  off, go away for a week or so and shell be  gone, change phone number ignore ANYTHING she says, you are  not responsible for the  child its her problem and HER families problem assuming its NOT yours. 

Do  not have a conscience on this  matter at all...Thais would NOT

[Deepinthailand]

Such is life shit happens here or elsewhere. the coments on the end of your op so of told me everything I need to know.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

DrDweeb.

Thats some friend you've got.But i  have to say that there are certain types of men over here that get a sick sense of one upmanship,when they shag another mans wife,or girlfriend.These are normally men who cant maintain a normal relationship with a woman back in their own country,or have had it done to them  in the past.The sad part about it is that they are normally friends,who get a kick out of letting you know that your wife/gf wasn't that loyal after all.I know a creep in Patts that played around with another mans squeeze and the guy came down to his office and put an axe in his skull,seriously.

But in this case you have been hurt and now want rid of her,Good! It all depends about how you feel about your mate when you see him again.

I would simply tell her to lave.o go and andtell her that she has broken a trust and that you have now lost a feeling that you cant get back.Tell her to ask the 'friend' to take her in,and the child as well.Also find the opportunity to change locks and put some security on the windows.

You sound like a nice enough guy,so i wont burdon you with home spun philosophy about "think twice next time" or "now you know better"because you seem to have a good heart and will probably get there again.

I wish you better for the future.

[MikeyIdea]

2 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

They do

 

No, they don't. Just ask them อยากตกงานไหม and they run away with the tail between their legs

 

[A1Str8]

They do

[georgemandm]

On 21/11/2016 at 10:49 AM, Peterw42 said:

Does Tabien Baan provide a legal right to reside somewhere ? I thought it was registration of who lives there, not a legal right.

Very very true words 

[georgemandm]

On 21/11/2016 at 10:27 AM, MikeyIdea said:

Who owns the condo and who has the right to reside in it are 2 different things actually. Who is allowed to reside in the condo depends on "Tabien Raat" = the house register. The extension of it is basically the blue and the yellow book

 

If you put your girl friend as chao baan (master of the housel hold) in the blue book, then she has the right to decide who lives in the condo but you as owner of the condo can force a change to that

 

I think we should talk practical matters instead. Of course you will win at the end of the day (= quite some time) but if you throw her and her child out without anywhere to go, especially since there is a child involved, then you are too low and I don't want to advise any further. I don't care about her, if she's a bitch, then legally do what she deserves and don't hold back but don't punish the child for it

 

What are your intentions toward the child?

 

Mikey 

All I can say to you if my ex thai is having sex with my friend behind my back I would not give one s??? About her kid not his kid .

as a thai would say som nam nar to her 

[MikeyIdea]

59 minutes ago, A1Str8 said:

They do

 

Only if you are working class and don't know that it is illegal. Even the lowest level policemen you are talking about are way to smart to dare to do that with educated people

 

Edited November 22, 2016 by MikeyIdea