Getting ex-Girlfriend to leave the apartment

[4MyEgo]

7 hours ago, chrissables said:

Actually it's more humane to teach people that their cheating, lying.......has consequences. 

Bending over and taking it up the arse as you would teaches them it's ok and to carry on.

Are you saying if it was you, you would keep paying? Really, think about it. You and your other half of 8 years is <deleted> around with a mate of yours and you would still pay because it's humane? 

Easy to say, you would never do.

 

For what its worth, people end relationships for many reasons, .e.g. the cheating husband/wife/partner which is right up there for relationships falling apart, but too many people in my opinion set themselves up for the big fall, i.e. we follow societies rules, which says we have to be faithful to each other, never cheat on me, I will never betray you, has anyone ever stopped to ask: who made up these rules, religion ? why do most relationships end by husbands/wives being unfaithful, has anyone ever thought of thinking outside the square, has anyone ever thought about there own needs as a human being and if they ever wanted to have there cake and eat it too, is anything wrong with that ?

 

Don't get me wrong, I am no expert on the matter, and my heart goes out to DrDweeb and others who have been betrayed, but seriously, as human beings we all have needs and urges, suffice to say, I am sure most guys on here wouldn't dare say that they cheated on their wives, a fling here or there, nothing wrong with a quick one here or there, quite healthy actually, but wouldn't life be much simpler if we all, as couples didn't place the ultimate restriction upon one and other i.e. if you feel like you want to go and have a bonk with someone else, ok, fine, visa versa, nothing wrong with it really, seriously, if its just a f... you are wanting with someone different, like a dog in the village having a good old sniff and then doing the mount, giddy up !!!

 

I mean are we all really that insecure, surely if your partner is going to leave you, there is nothing you can do about it anyway, so why not enjoy the relationship without feeling insecure or betrayed, i.e. get it out in the open from day one, sure there are a lot of people, both men and women that wouldn't agree to what I am saying, but hell, how much better would your relationship be, don't get me wrong, I am not saying you go out and f... a different person every single day of the week, but you want to go away for a weekend, a week with some of your mates and you want to put a few on the board, why not, after all we are all human, its got nothing to do about being unfaithful, its about being true to yourself, to your partner and to your needs as a human being, satisfying your normal urges.

 

I do expect a fair bit of criticism for being openly honest about my way of thinking, but hey it works for me and I have a very health relationship with my wife, it has nothing to do with not being satisfied at home, our sex life is right up there, but hell, a little petite one here, a tall dark one there hits the spot for me. Naturally some simple boundaries would have to be put in place of course, like, not in our bed, don't tell me about it unless I ask, have safe sex, don't bring me back any diseases and last but not least, enjoy yourself, you only have one life.

 

Sure most of you are saying not a f'n chance in the world, and that's ok, if your happy in your relationship and don't want to have your cake and eat it too, that's fine, but if and when "betrayal" hits home, then you have to deal with it, I am not saying I agree with what she has done to him, what I am saying in my opinion, is that as a society we have placed too much control and expectations upon our relationships through religion or wherever this rule came from, and set ourselves up for the ultimate failure.

 

I know countless male friends who cheat on their wives, their business, not mine, and if they can live with it, then fine, although I do feel for their partners because in my opinion, its selfish and an outright lie, however, I can at least sleep at night knowing my wife knows who I am and how I want to live my life, and if she wishes to smell the roses, then she is also welcome. It works for us as crazy as it may sound to most, although I would suspect a few jealous ones in the crowd too, human nature....555  

 

With regard to the child, you never ever stop supporting the child financially, irregardless of who is at fault for the relationship ending, unless your bitter and twisted, you take it on the chin and contribute to your child's future, as others have said, its not the fault of the child, why should he have to suffer for his mum deciding to  fill a need, or betray her partner.

 

Go easy on the replies fella's, having my cake and eating it, maybe bitter sweet for some.

[gemguy]

On Monday, November 21, 2016 at 11:03 AM, samsensam said:

 

the most important thing is to stay calm, stay strong and logical.

 

before any show down i would ensure valuable documents and cash, credit cards etc and any other things you dont want damaged/stolen are removed from the apartment to a safe place

 

let her know that you know what she has been up to, show her the evidence

 

tell her the relationship is over

 

tell her that the financial support has finished. immediately.

 

dont get into discussions or arguments or any drama, keep reiterating; the relationship is over due to her actions, financial support has finished due to her actions and she has to leave due to her actions

 

if she needs money she knows where she can go

 

if she needs somewhere to live she knows where to go

 

have a fall back position; as there is a child involved offer to pay for a room for a week to enable her to contact family, friends, her lover who will take over responsibility for her and the child

 

again; stay calm, strong and logical.

 

good luck.

 

 

Yes...good advice......but one important part....do not do any of what you suggest unless you have at least  2 people of some authority present as witnesses while you are telling her the bad news, with cell phone cameras ready to record her if she flips out.

And do not be alone with her after you tell her the bad news.....as many of them are simply nut cases ready to explode and hell bent on twisted revenge....and maybe your lower extremities.

Cheers

[realenglish1]

I would play this really safe since Thai woman are known to do many underhanded things

Put down on paper exactly what happened and why you are taking the action you are taking 

Then give her a copy and mail a registered mail of a  copy to your address. When you receive the copy do not

open it . Just put it in a safe place in case she decides to lie about something and try and get you in trouble

This will help to avoid any problems in the future You will probably never have to use the letter but look at it as a

stitch in time 

Good luck 

[A1Str8]

38 minutes ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Only if you are working class and don't know that it is illegal. Even the lowest level policemen you are talking about are way to smart to dare to do that with educated people

 

Not true

[MikeyIdea]

55 minutes ago, A1Str8 said:

Not true

 

Learn the law in Thailand please 

[Yisheng]

You have got plenty of technical or logistic advise. I would prefer her to move out while you are still in Europe. Try to convince her and lure her with money if she moves out before you come back. This may succeed if she knows that you have the proofs of her infidelity. If she thinks you have no proof she may try to continue to lie.

If she is beautiful as you wrote she will easily find a new sponsor. But all this is of secondary importance. 
The real issue is your broken heart. Believe me and others: it will heal, but it takes time. It helps to meet new girls with or without sex, good or bad girls.

 You may suggest to her to separate for a while (weeks) because you feel so much offended that you cannot tolerate to live together with her for the time being. She may agree with that. And who knows how you will feel in a few weeks time? May be you will prefer to live with a woman whom you love and who obviously has some positive sides, even though she betrayed you? May be you live better if you forgive? Keep the future open. May be take 5 mg Valium before you meet her.

Regarding herpes: it is only contagious during the 8 days when she has it, may be once a month, may be once a year. So it should not be an unsolvable problem.

Do you have friends to support you mentally? I would. I live in Pattaya. Good luck.

[A1Str8]

31 minutes ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Learn the law in Thailand please 

Have done that unlike u

 

[mrfaroukh]

As Mikey say it is not very easy when a child is involved. You should discuss it with her in proper manner and tell her you have no more feeling for her for what she did and therefore you want her out. May be you can offer her some money so that she and the child can live on it for few months before she find a solution. But if she just don't care and will not move then you should take some legal action by talking to a lawyer. Make sure you have some kind of evidence from her so that she may not say later that you were suppose to give her X amount of money every month but you have not for the past X years.

[ClutchClark]

That friend of yours is a real ******.

 

With literally 1,000's of available women in Thailand he chooses his buddies girlfriend.

 

I hope the Thais are right aboit the whole Karma equation.

 

Your obviously a decent guy the way you are going about this process and concern for the child.

 

Good luck.

[greenchair]

This is the saddest story. 

Boy, she messed up big time, what a silly girl. It sounds like she had everything most woman only dream of. If you start paying for apartments and living and schooling, you might find yourself being guilted into doing that for many years. All the while that you are paying she will be bonking someone else without your knowledge. Does her family live far away in another province, she should go back to them, not go to a paid apartment . Or I suggest you find her a place far far away and drop her there. Out of sight out of mind. My partner also had an affair and went back to live with the family , but the 2 stepchildren, but I helped pay for schooling through to university. They still visit me and the oldest boy lends me his car every couple of months so I can get around a bit more. Paying for apartments, daily living no.

Schooling, a birthday pressy yes. 

Start the end, the way you want to finish the end.

[MikeyIdea]

7 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

Have done that unlike u

 

 

You need to learn the difference between criminal and civil law. Police have no jurisdiction to act in civil matters

 

[Thaimike370]

One question, who is the sons father.  It is then up to the father to support his son.

[lungnorm]

Thai women, even the so called good ones cannot be trusted. The bad ones are really Bad Bad Bad, seems the good ones are Bad too. 

[KBsinter]

Sad,sad, I think your biggest problem is the Herpes

you cannot live with it,it will destroy you,

you have to live your life around it, hope your separation

 and eviction ,go"s well  good luck for the future..............

[ClutchClark]

6 hours ago, greenchair said:

Start the end, the way you want to finish the end.

 

First time I ever heard this.

 

Its spot on wisdom.

[AlexRich]

9 minutes ago, KBsinter said:

Sad,sad, I think your biggest problem is the Herpes

you cannot live with it,it will destroy you,

you have to live your life around it, hope your separation

 and eviction ,go"s well  good luck for the future..............

 

If I read this correctly, I think the Italian "friend" gave the OPs girlfriend Herpes ... but the OP does not have it ... one of the few positives of this story.

 

[A1Str8]

8 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

You need to learn the difference between criminal and civil law. Police have no jurisdiction to act in civil matters

 

You need to not me

[greenchair]

2 hours ago, ClutchClark said:

 

First time I ever heard this.

 

Its spot on wisdom.

 

That's a nice compliment, 

Maybe I'll make a tshirt. ☺

[MikeyIdea]

1 hour ago, A1Str8 said:

You need to not me

 

Regardless of what you think you know, police need warrant to evict people because eviction is civil and not criminal law. Perhaps you childishly continue to post the opposite to get more posts but better not post incorrect information A1, learn the law instead 

 

[A1Str8]

18 minutes ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Regardless of what you think you know, police need warrant to evict people because eviction is civil and not criminal law. Perhaps you childishly continue to post the opposite to get more posts but better not post incorrect information A1, learn the law instead 

 

I already have. Unlike you

[MikeyIdea]

3 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

I already have. Unlike you

 

You still insist on that the police have the right to evict. I inform you and other TV members reading this thread that you are wrong and that the police needs a warrant to evict 

 

[A1Str8]

9 minutes ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

You still insist on that the police have the right to evict. I inform you and other TV members reading this thread that you are wrong and that the police needs a warrant to evict 

 

You are wrong

[kingalfred]

Ah the naive farangs and the hookers


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[gemguy]

14 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

You need to learn the difference between criminal and civil law. Police have no jurisdiction to act in civil matters

 

By the book maybe...but all that can and will be ignored for any amount of money paid to a police officer for their "assistance" helping you with your personal matters ...whether it be right or wrong while jurisdiction is not a concern.

Just a reminder of how it works here....... all too often...

[NanLaew]

 
If I read this correctly, I think the Italian "friend" gave the OPs girlfriend Herpes ... but the OP does not have it ... one of the few positives of this story.
 

Then how does the OP know?

[MikeyIdea]

2 hours ago, gemguy said:

By the book maybe...but all that can and will be ignored for any amount of money paid to a police officer for their "assistance" helping you with your personal matters ...whether it be right or wrong while jurisdiction is not a concern.

Just a reminder of how it works here....... all too often...

 

ThaiVisa can be a great source of information for foreigners who don't know the law in Thailand or don't know what to do or how to act. The problem TV has are with people who hear something from a friend or why not a friend of a friend who got it from a nice poor working class girl and then post it as "fact" without confirming if it is correct or not.

 

I have been interpretor in Juvenile court and has had quite a lot of direct experience with the law here. It does not happen often but if it does, then it happens to people who actually are wrong almost all the time. It rarely happens to people who have done nothing wrong - and then only if they are uneducated.

 

Educated Thai's know how to handle this. Educated Thai's would simply - politely as it is the Thai way to avoid confrontation - first ask the police if they have jurisdiction and if the police still stands his ground, again politely as he wants to give the policeman a way out, suggest that they go down to the police station. Eeeehhhh..., the policeman will quickly leave with his head held high but what actually happened was that he got hammered as hard as any American police would have been trying to do something illegal with a "low life" finding out that Oh sh!t, that was actually an over confident educated guy who is now shovelling the law down his throat...

 

Just like in America, a policeman is surely not going to go to the police station to document that he's just tried to act in a matter where he has no jurisdiction..

 

Even the drivers at our office know enough to suggest to go down to the police station to clear the matter with roiwen, the maids and the cleaners do normally not though.

 

The class differences in Thailand are sad indeed but they are fact

 

[DrDweeb]

On 22/11/2016 at 9:38 PM, 4MyEgo said:

 

For what its worth, people end relationships for many reasons, .e.g. the cheating husband/wife/partner which is right up there for relationships falling apart, but too many people in my opinion set themselves up for the big fall, i.e. we follow societies rules, which says we have to be faithful to each other, never cheat on me, I will never betray you, has anyone ever stopped to ask: who made up these rules, religion ? why do most relationships end by husbands/wives being unfaithful, has anyone ever thought of thinking outside the square, has anyone ever thought about there own needs as a human being and if they ever wanted to have there cake and eat it too, is anything wrong with that ?

 

Don't get me wrong, I am no expert on the matter, and my heart goes out to DrDweeb and others who have been betrayed, but seriously, as human beings we all have needs and urges, suffice to say, I am sure most guys on here wouldn't dare say that they cheated on their wives, a fling here or there, nothing wrong with a quick one here or there, quite healthy actually, but wouldn't life be much simpler if we all, as couples didn't place the ultimate restriction upon one and other i.e. if you feel like you want to go and have a bonk with someone else, ok, fine, visa versa, nothing wrong with it really, seriously, if its just a f... you are wanting with someone different, like a dog in the village having a good old sniff and then doing the mount, giddy up !!!

 

I mean are we all really that insecure, surely if your partner is going to leave you, there is nothing you can do about it anyway, so why not enjoy the relationship without feeling insecure or betrayed, i.e. get it out in the open from day one, sure there are a lot of people, both men and women that wouldn't agree to what I am saying, but hell, how much better would your relationship be, don't get me wrong, I am not saying you go out and f... a different person every single day of the week, but you want to go away for a weekend, a week with some of your mates and you want to put a few on the board, why not, after all we are all human, its got nothing to do about being unfaithful, its about being true to yourself, to your partner and to your needs as a human being, satisfying your normal urges.

 

I do expect a fair bit of criticism for being openly honest about my way of thinking, but hey it works for me and I have a very health relationship with my wife, it has nothing to do with not being satisfied at home, our sex life is right up there, but hell, a little petite one here, a tall dark one there hits the spot for me. Naturally some simple boundaries would have to be put in place of course, like, not in our bed, don't tell me about it unless I ask, have safe sex, don't bring me back any diseases and last but not least, enjoy yourself, you only have one life.

 

Sure most of you are saying not a f'n chance in the world, and that's ok, if your happy in your relationship and don't want to have your cake and eat it too, that's fine, but if and when "betrayal" hits home, then you have to deal with it, I am not saying I agree with what she has done to him, what I am saying in my opinion, is that as a society we have placed too much control and expectations upon our relationships through religion or wherever this rule came from, and set ourselves up for the ultimate failure.

 

I know countless male friends who cheat on their wives, their business, not mine, and if they can live with it, then fine, although I do feel for their partners because in my opinion, its selfish and an outright lie, however, I can at least sleep at night knowing my wife knows who I am and how I want to live my life, and if she wishes to smell the roses, then she is also welcome. It works for us as crazy as it may sound to most, although I would suspect a few jealous ones in the crowd too, human nature....555  

 

With regard to the child, you never ever stop supporting the child financially, irregardless of who is at fault for the relationship ending, unless your bitter and twisted, you take it on the chin and contribute to your child's future, as others have said, its not the fault of the child, why should he have to suffer for his mum deciding to  fill a need, or betray her partner.

 

Go easy on the replies fella's, having my cake and eating it, maybe bitter sweet for some.

Well, it's the betrayal and lies behind my back that are hurtful. Sex is part of that betrayal package - we are not just talking physical sex. 

 

Like you, our sex life was fine, better than fine in fact. She wasn't looking for more orgasms, she was looking for something she didn't have - whatever that is. Grass is greener and all that.

 

She made a grab for the brass ring, and missed. The fall is going to be a long way.

 

I may be the last Boy Scout, I never wanted another woman after we hooked up. As unlikely as it might seem, I do have a clear conscience.

 

The boy is not mine, my obligation to him is moral not biological.

[DrDweeb]

6 hours ago, kingalfred said:

Ah the naive farangs and the hookers


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

Really, I know most people in here have only met Thai hookers and have a warped view of humanity in general and Thai women in particular, but there is no reason to assume that all Thai women are hookers. They aren't, and my partner wasn't, isn't nor ever likely to be one - but the future is hard to predict and desperate situations provoke desperate actions.

 

I really do not want that she end up on the street.

[DrDweeb]

On 22/11/2016 at 6:03 PM, muffy said:

Let the new boyfriend take her . 

He is a pauper. He doesn't live in Thailand.

[DrDweeb]

22 hours ago, greenchair said:

This is the saddest story. 

Boy, she messed up big time, what a silly girl. It sounds like she had everything most woman only dream of. If you start paying for apartments and living and schooling, you might find yourself being guilted into doing that for many years. All the while that you are paying she will be bonking someone else without your knowledge. Does her family live far away in another province, she should go back to them, not go to a paid apartment . Or I suggest you find her a place far far away and drop her there. Out of sight out of mind. My partner also had an affair and went back to live with the family , but the 2 stepchildren, but I helped pay for schooling through to university. They still visit me and the oldest boy lends me his car every couple of months so I can get around a bit more. Paying for apartments, daily living no.

Schooling, a birthday pressy yes. 

Start the end, the way you want to finish the end.

One would think so, but whatever it is that is missing inside her, is big enough that she will destroy everything, including herself and son trying to get it. Destructive personality takes over and rationality takes the exit. Very few people are rational, almost no women are. Women tend to rely on emotional reasoning, and it often gives bad results - the case here I think.