Younger guys looking for love... same traps?

[kimura89]

I know this general topic has been done to death, brought to life and then done to death again 500 times over. But I'm asking from a different view point out of curiosity, and unless I've done a poor job using the search feature I can't see a whole lot on this particular subject - which is younger farang in the Thai dating scene.

 

So it seems a lot of popular opinion is that when it comes to older gentleman and Thai girls in their 20's , more likely a financial transaction then one based on love. But what about someone that's in their late 20's early 30's? Is there a 'better' perception of the younger farangs by the younger Thai females that's more aligned to finding genuine love? Or is everyone thrown into the same bucket so to speak...

 

I like Thai girls, I find them more attractive, gentle, kind then girls back on my home country.  One thing i don't want to get sucked into is a relationship based purely on money. Is it easier to find this for a young, decent looking farang?

 

 

Edited February 6, 2017 by kimura89

[starky]

I would think you would find that anyone that finds their wife in a beer bar is always going to be a finacial transaction. As for the Thai dating "scene" you would have to be more specific. Are you talking about internet, meeting through friends, at work, through family or a night out? Its so totally subjective as to almost be impossible to debate every individual case will be different with different chances of success. I would say if you want to generalise that those that have the best chance arent necessarily the younger guys as they go through girls like butter, but instead those that are within a reasonable age range of their partner say 10-15 years as opposed to 30-40 years or more IMHO

[kimura89]

19 minutes ago, starky said:

I would think you would find that anyone that finds their wife in a beer bar is always going to be a finacial transaction. As for the Thai dating "scene" you would have to be more specific. Are you talking about internet, meeting through friends, at work, through family or a night out? Its so totally subjective as to almost be impossible to debate every individual case will be different with different chances of success. I would say if you want to generalise that those that have the best chance arent necessarily the younger guys as they go through girls like butter, but instead those that are within a reasonable age range of their partner say 10-15 years as opposed to 30-40 years or more IMHO

For arguments sake let's say anything but the bar girl scene and workplace.

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, kimura89 said:

But what about someone that's in their late 20's early 30's? Is there a 'better' perception of the younger farangs by the younger Thai females that's more aligned to finding genuine love?

Horses for courses and situations,  frankly l wouldn't see the point of coming here to Thailand at that age for love.

If l had met my now wife at that age l'd be rightly called someone whose mentally deranged.  

[Kwasaki]

41 minutes ago, starky said:

but instead those that are within a reasonable age range of their partner say 10-15 years as opposed to 30-40 years or more

What happen to 15  - 20 years. 

[JHolmesJr]

As I tell anyone who will listen….forget everything else…just focus on your love making skills.

 

With mad skills in that dept you will be the one being chased not the other way around.

 

I have a Masters in Cunnilingus and let me tell you: they fall in love very easily when encountering that.

 

 

Edited February 6, 2017 by JHolmesJr

[giddyup]

12 minutes ago, JHolmesJr said:

As I tell anyone who will listen….forget everything else…just focus on your love making skills.

 

With mad skills in that dept you will be the one being chased not the other way around.

 

I have a Masters in Cunnilingus and let me tell you: they fall in love very easily when encountering that.

 

 

Have you ever watched "When Harry met Sally"?

[JHolmesJr]

21 minutes ago, giddyup said:

Have you ever watched "When Harry met Sally"?

I hate to break it to you but that was acting.

 

The only way I can prove it to you is if you were a trollop.

 

And may I say how relived I am that you aren't?

[giddyup]

3 minutes ago, JHolmesJr said:

I hate to break it to you but that was acting.

 

The only way I can prove it to you is if you were a trollop.

 

And may I say how relived I am that you aren't?

There's only one thing worse than someone bragging about what a great fighter they are, and that's someone who brags about what a great lover they are. Of course if they brag about both then they are a total bell end.

Edited February 6, 2017 by giddyup

[Dale59]

Don't be fooled. In the end all relationships with women are predominantly financial transactions. Yes there is love if you're lucky and even luckier if it lasts, but as statistics show that most divorces in the west are caused by financial issues, the facts bear me out. Thai women are no different whether they come from the bar or not. The good news is that their financial expectations are far less than the typical western woman so even as a young guy you may have a shot if you have a decent income. The one benefit of the doubt you don't get with the average Thai women is your future earning potential. A western woman will size that up based on family status, education and basic confidence and ambition and move forward on the come. Generally speaking, the Thai women you'll have access to don't give you that benefit and want to know you can take care of them now. That will be far more important than your good looks and charm! That is why older guys are a better option in many instances. While the average young Thai woman may prefer a young and good looking guy, it's not as big as a priority as financial security and someone who treats them well and with respect. Even the HiSo girls place status above romantic love. Pretty smart when you think about it! And don't be fooled or misled by jaded posters here, these women do know how to love and when they do fall they fall hard and you better not screw with that if you're smart! Lol. Like anywhere else, you need the right gal no matter where she comes from so you need to know yourself and what you want. Older guys have the advantage there as well. I married a much younger bar girl over 10 years ago and it's the best decision I ever made. I knew what I was getting into and was fine with it! It's all about knowing your own expectations and needs, and managing and accepting theirs!


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[zorro1]

As I tell anyone who will listen….forget everything else…just focus on your love making skills.

 

With mad skills in that dept you will be the one being chased not the other way around.

 

I have a Masters in Cunnilingus and let me tell you: they fall in love very easily when encountering that.

 

 

Ha ha a friend back in oz was bragging about that and even showed us his techniques using a coin as a clit. Exactly 48 hours later his wife left a dear John note

[Dale59]

As I tell anyone who will listen….forget everything else…just focus on your love making skills.
 
With mad skills in that dept you will be the one being chased not the other way around.
 
I have a Masters in Cunnilingus and let me tell you: they fall in love very easily when encountering that.
 
 

Much wisdom here! Listen up young guys! He's spot on in the final paragraph! Lol


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[JHolmesJr]

3 hours ago, giddyup said:

There's only one thing worse than someone bragging about what a great fighter they are, and that's someone who brags about what a great lover they are. Of course if they brag about both then they are a total bell end.

 

LOL.

[kimura89]

LOL

[Emster23]

 Romantic love is more of a recent (last few hundred years or so) Western mind expectation/trap. Not called a "marriage contract" for nothing!

 Do recall pointing out to my (now, thank God) ex that she and her ilk might be targeting the wrong prey. Seemed to want to chase after the guys in suits, shoes, white shirts etc. I advised skip them, go after the older guys in shorts. They've already made their money, they don't have to chase after it.

[stephenterry]

Just enjoy the fun and if you meet the 'one' for you, make sure you don't commit too soon, because there is a cultural difference that needs bridging by both you and her, not least her family arrangements. I'd say as rule of thumb it takes about 6 months of living together to find out if you could go the long haul. In that time just rent accommodation, buy a token girlfriend ring up to 5k baht to show you intend to be a couple, and see how it pans out. 

 

Also, encourage her to take a job that fits in with yours - it's better that way than having a lazy Thai girl leeching off you. And BTW, I've met several bar-girls in their 30's who would make good wife material if her family commitments are minimum, albeit that's a greater risk than one with a college education and a job outside the 'entertainments' industry. 

[peterb17]

18 hours ago, JHolmesJr said:

As I tell anyone who will listen….forget everything else…just focus on your love making skills.

 

With mad skills in that dept you will be the one being chased not the other way around.

 

I have a Masters in Cunnilingus and let me tell you: they fall in love very easily when encountering that.

 

 

Far too much detail- anyway hope all your willing partners have had an HPV jab.

[12DrinkMore]

20 hours ago, kimura89 said:

One thing i don't want to get sucked into is a relationship based purely on money.

 

Women are, in general, totally cold-hearted about this.

 

For a permanent relationship firstly they want a man who can financially take care of them, then they will try the love bit later. 

 

That is the way it works. Keep their little ar5e in comfort and they will love you until you don't.

 

Just play the game and enjoy it.

[Nielsk]

A rich business man once said in Denmark:

You cannot buy love, but you can buy something that looks like it.

 

 

 

That's how it works in Thailand too.

 

Take it or leave it.

 

[TheFishman1]

No money no honey TIT

[giddyup]

6 minutes ago, TheFishman1 said:

No money no honey TIT

Never heard that before, think I'll have it printed on a T Shirt.

[stephenterry]

2 minutes ago, giddyup said:

Never heard that before, think I'll have it printed on a T Shirt.

and me...

[blackcab]

"Thai females that's more aligned to finding genuine love".

 

I think you need to think about what any Thai female thinks "Love" is. It's normally not the same as the Western concept of love.

 

Ask Thai women what they think love is and you may find you're looking for something that doesn't actually exist.

[smotherb]

16 hours ago, Dale59 said:

Don't be fooled. In the end all relationships with women are predominantly financial transactions. Yes there is love if you're lucky and even luckier if it lasts, but as statistics show that most divorces in the west are caused by financial issues, the facts bear me out. Thai women are no different whether they come from the bar or not. The good news is that their financial expectations are far less than the typical western woman so even as a young guy you may have a shot if you have a decent income. The one benefit of the doubt you don't get with the average Thai women is your future earning potential. A western woman will size that up based on family status, education and basic confidence and ambition and move forward on the come. Generally speaking, the Thai women you'll have access to don't give you that benefit and want to know you can take care of them now. That will be far more important than your good looks and charm! That is why older guys are a better option in many instances. While the average young Thai woman may prefer a young and good looking guy, it's not as big as a priority as financial security and someone who treats them well and with respect. Even the HiSo girls place status above romantic love. Pretty smart when you think about it! And don't be fooled or misled by jaded posters here, these women do know how to love and when they do fall they fall hard and you better not screw with that if you're smart! Lol. Like anywhere else, you need the right gal no matter where she comes from so you need to know yourself and what you want. Older guys have the advantage there as well. I married a much younger bar girl over 10 years ago and it's the best decision I ever made. I knew what I was getting into and was fine with it! It's all about knowing your own expectations and needs, and managing and accepting theirs!


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Well, you seem to go from “all” to “some” What is it? 

You say, “. . . all relationships with women are predominantly financial transactions . . .”  Well, if you only see the traditional male bread-winner or the customer and bar-girl relationships; that statement may have merit. However, many relationships today are based on both partners working and at times the better-paid one is the woman. Of course, there is the relationship where the woman has the money. And, there is also the situation where neither has money and they struggle to get by.  None of those three are the financial transactions to which you refer.  In those cases, there must be something else which holds the relationship together.

[kalidescopemind]

The only thing I have figured out in 6 years is that every couple is unique.  You can get a younger and better looking Thai wife for the same male attractiveness Stateside, and I like Buddhist girls.    Have fun!

[ttthailand]

Just seen a YouTube video (real education...haha) about two types of girls to never marry as it won't last; first is the girl who had sex before 14 years old and the second is any girl with over 16 sex partners. The odds of success is only 20% for those types.
So in Thailand this suggests that all bar girls working for a month or more will not be a good pick.

I think any relationship in Thailand that starts with a bar fine is out. Also any relationship where the woman is not working or has no income is out.

So basically none bar girl with a decent job who is willing to keep working should be what to look for in a partner.


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[Suradit69]

22 hours ago, kimura89 said:

22 hours ago, kimura89 said:

I like Thai girls, I find them more attractive, gentle, kind then girls back on my home country. 

32 minutes ago, blackcab said:

It's normally not the same as the Western concept of love.

Yes, because everyone in the west has a single concept of love and you've known enough Thai women to know what they all "normally" think about it.

 

And all Thai "girls" are gentle and kind, while all "girls" back in the O/P's home country have the same personality.

 

Would love to have someone explain in 50 words or less exactly what the single, uniform western concept of love is.

Edited February 7, 2017 by Suradit69

[12DrinkMore]

17 hours ago, zorro1 said:

Ha ha a friend back in oz was bragging about that and even showed us his techniques using a coin as a clit. Exactly 48 hours later his wife left a dear John note

 

Coins just don't cut it.

 

Should have used banknotes, or a credit card even better.

[Sheryl]

2 hours ago, peterb17 said:

Far too much detail- anyway hope all your willing partners have had an HPV jab.

He's do well to have one himself.

 

(google HPV + oral sex + cancer)

[smotherb]

21 hours ago, starky said:

I would think you would find that anyone that finds their wife in a beer bar is always going to be a finacial transaction. As for the Thai dating "scene" you would have to be more specific. Are you talking about internet, meeting through friends, at work, through family or a night out? Its so totally subjective as to almost be impossible to debate every individual case will be different with different chances of success. I would say if you want to generalise that those that have the best chance arent necessarily the younger guys as they go through girls like butter, but instead those that are within a reasonable age range of their partner say 10-15 years as opposed to 30-40 years or more IMHO

I am an old man now, but I came to Southeast Asia as a young man. I had a good job and cleaned-up rather well. In those days, you actually had to go out and meet girls. I had two long-term Thai girlfriends; one was a travel agent, the other a doctor. Neither, of course, were ladies of negotiable virtue.

 

Sure, in the early days I ran the bars and played with the bar-girls; still do, to some extent. I have also known literally scores of foreign men married to Thais and other Southeast Asian women. I know some bar girls who have made great wives; but that number pales in comparison to the number of those who cuckold their husbands and treat them as long-term customers.

 

I believe a young man has a better chance at finding and keeping a young good looking decent Thai woman.  I also believe an older man with something going for him other than a beer gut and a pocket full of money can find a decent woman.  However, you have to look places other than in the bars and on the dating sites.

 

There is always a problem with age difference; unless you can find a common denominator. Unfortunately, in most cases that denominator is money.  The most successful May-December relationships I have known have been with women who wanted to make something of themselves and men who were willing and able to help them achieve their desires. There is also the chance of women who are simply tired of the hand to mouth existence, actually like the old fart, and are willing to enter a reciprocal relationship.