Does it matter if your girl was a hooker?

[eldragon]

Does it matter if your gf or wife has had sex for money? Could you ever trust a girl like that and feel comfortable with her? And does it matter if you've paid for sex at any time in your life? Isn't the risk kinda the same for any girl that dates or marries you? That being that you might just do it again at the spur of the moment or on a whim. Presumably, if you continue to finance a girl like that and give her everything she needs, she wouldn't run out and sleep with someone for a couple grand. And you in fact are more likely to "cheat" on her. 

 

I don't think I could get serious with a girl like that. I mean, if it was just a couple times, I guess. And the bizarre argument can be made that any woman who can't take care of herself is a hooker on some level. But I'd never trust a former professional. I just have it in my head that women like that are always looking for the best opportunity. It also seems like those girls never totally buy into a committed relationship. It's like they know a decent guy would never trust them 100% and is a flight risk at all times.

 

As for me, I've paid for sex a few times, but I can't say I ever enjoyed it all that much. And if I was content in a serious relationship I definitely wouldn't do it. But it still feels a little hypocritical to say I'm more trustworthy than a hooker.

[Seligne2]

I find that 80 percent of the working girls you call "hookers" are rural and uneducated with two kids (living with ma and pa) to support. I do not find them morally defective in any way.  I think they would say that they will do whatever is necessary to care for their families. I would trust women in this category.

 

There may be 20 percent (that percentage I suspect is a bit high), who are turned on by the lifestyle, the money, the dangers involved, etc.) I would avoid getting involved with one of this group.

[eldragon]

I find that 80 percent of the working girls you call "hookers" are rural and uneducated with two kids (living with ma and pa) to support. I do not find them morally defective in any way.  I think they would say that they will do whatever is necessary to care for their families. I would trust women in this category.
 
There may be 20 percent (that percentage I suspect is a bit high), who are turned on by the lifestyle, the money, the dangers involved, etc.) I would avoid getting involved with one of this group.

I like this response a lot and want to agree with it, but why does it seem like 80% of the sex workers I meet seem to have several men sending em money whilst still working in the industry?


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[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, eldragon said:

And the bizarre argument can be made that any woman who can't take care of herself is a hooker on some level. 

And in many ways it is a pretty strong argument. And look how many guys want to pay good money for an Online girl to sleep with them because they convince themself she is not a hooker !  How weird is that ?

 

I think the only real differential is that some work in a bar, others don't. Or that some demand money and others don't but are either offered money or still expect payment in money or kind.

Edited February 14, 2017 by rogeroc

[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, eldragon said:

Does it matter if your gf or wife has had sex for money? Could you ever trust a girl like that and feel comfortable with her? 

No and yes and trust is an overated emotion.

[Razzler1973]

Does it matter to me? Yes.

 

It may not matter to others. I mean, there's a whole host of reasons. There's really no point getting into a deeper discussion about 'can a working girl be honest' etc, of course they can but there are so many other women out there why would I want to take a girl from a bar

[tifino]

does not matter the origins of the hookup

 

what does matter that there has been honesty with you about what she does (or did)

 

Of course, without honesty, you may never find out if she (will either - start doing it, or re-start what was in the previous life...)

 

 

[eldragon]

Does it matter to me? Yes.
 
It may not matter to others. I mean, there's a whole host of reasons. There's really no point getting into a deeper discussion about 'can a working girl be honest' etc, of course they can but there are so many other women out there why would I want to take a girl from a bar

Good point. But some of us find the "good Thai girl" a bit boring. They tend to come across as censored in the way they express themselves. Bargirls on the other hand can have a more attractive attitude and seem easier to connect with bc they don't care as much what their peers think about them and they're not afraid to speak their mind.


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[BKKBodhisattva]

100% yes it does matter.

I would never, ever invest , emotional or financial, capital in a 'tute.

I accept that there are varying degrees of selling one's body.

A streetwalker is far removed from the temporarily hard-up office girl who sees a way to make a quick buck out of guy she fancies but once a woman commercializes her pussy, she can get used to it real quick.

Last thing you'd want to do is run into her previous customers.

[Ulysses G.]

I have had friends that married hookers who turned out to be no good and others that had the fabled heart of gold and made her man's life much better. It really is an individual thing.

[wow64]

Everyone will tell you not to get involved then you find out theres was a hooker.. Oh but mine is different.

 

Who cares if you are having fun... But would you if I come over and get that 1000b you owe me off your misses while you are at work?

 

 

[jerojero]

It only matters to you, if it matters to you.

[JAFO]

It definitely matters to me.  During my dating time I had personal expectations of the women I dated. STDs, the respect she had for herself, etc etc. I would also think it would be hard to trust her being if she was a very active prostitute she would likely always have "clients" and would do anything for money being she sold her self. 

 

I get that it works for some but I think we all have personal expectations and thresholds.   

[eldragon]

It definitely matters to me.  During my dating time I had personal expectations of the women I dated. STDs, the respect she had for herself, etc etc. I would also think it would be hard to trust her being if she was a very active prostitute she would likely always have "clients" and would do anything for money being she sold her self. 
 
I get that it works for some but I think we all have personal expectations and thresholds.   

Sorry, I meant to imply the girl was not currently a prostitute. But I think you post still applies.


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[JAFO]

Just now, eldragon said:

 

Sorry, I meant to imply the girl was not currently a prostitute. But I think you post still applies.


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No problem. To me whether was or current. If I started dating a gal and she came clean and told me that she was prostitute for some period of time I'd walk.  Again just my personal expectations.  I am big on how people respect themselves. In life people can't take your integrity or dignity, you have to give it away.  

[eldragon]

...but once a woman commercializes her pussy, she can get used to it real quick.

This is pretty much exactly how I feel about the issue. Reminds me of something a Thai guy told me about being unable to trust a girl once she's figured out how to manipulate men. And how every former prostitute I know that's involved with one of my friends or acquaintances seems ready to jump back in the game at a moment's notice. But isn't the concern the same for a woman dating a man that has paid for sex in the past? I tend to think I'm more trustworthy bc I don't really need it in my life, but I'm sure any woman would disagree.


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[JAFO]

It's a charged discussion for sure.  

 

I never solicited sex. There will always be the ones that say well your are paying for it one way or another.  I guess that is true for the guy who's relationship is spun around sex.  

 

I have known a few expats here who had relationships with prostitutes. Both ended as they quickly found their gal liked the game and the money more.  I would think it would take a lot to keep a former prostitute happy likely because she became damaged goods when she sold her soul.  So why take on that burden when there are millions of other women out there?  

Edited February 15, 2017 by JAFO

[SaintLouisBlues]

14 minutes ago, JAFO said:

I never solicited sex. There will always be the ones that say well your are paying for it one way or another.  

I don't pay for the sex. I pay for them to go away afterwards

[eldragon]

17 minutes ago, JAFO said:

It's a charged discussion for sure.  

 

I never solicited sex. There will always be the ones that say well your are paying for it one way or another.  I guess that is true for the guy who's relationship is spun around sex.  

 

I have known a few expats here who had relationships with prostitutes. Both ended as they quickly found their gal liked the game and the money more.  I would think it would take a lot to keep a former prostitute happy likely because she became damaged goods when she sold her soul.  So why take on that burden when there are millions of other women out there?  

 

As I stated earlier, some people find the attitude of these women a bit more attractive, mainly in the way they say or do what they want. To me, they've always seemed more like what I'm used to back home, whereas more traditional Thai girls seem very censored and careful about what they say and do, and thus can be a bit boring. 

 

But absolutely it seems like the girls are constantly tempted by the game. I have met a couple who kinda came at me with some variation of "I'd give this up if you committed to me", but it felt like an ultimatum. You try to tell em most decent guys want an unconditional situation and will never trust em as long as they're accepting money for sex and/or companionship, but it falls on deaf ears.

[JAFO]

46 minutes ago, eldragon said:

To me, they've always seemed more like what I'm used to back home, whereas more traditional Thai girls seem very censored and careful about what they say and do, and thus can be a bit boring. 

There is a huge difference for sure. The traditional type gals are not as comfortable with English (In our case) or the foreigner they are dating home countries customs where as the girls that work in the trade have picked up a lot with their "Johns" or in the bars and are more comfortable joking around. It can make it feel more fun for sure. It has taken me awhile to get my wife to understand sarcasm and joking around. 

[Peterw42]

I think it comes down to the male ego, there will always be a question in the back of your mind asking why is she with you, is it a genuine relationship, love etc, or are you an exclusive ongoing customer, even if its for 20 years. 

 

There is also a male ego thing to do with how many before me etc. Sometime in the relationship it may come back to haunt you. Where did she learn that move, lol. A couple of years into the relationship and she doesnt want sex as much as you would like, are you going to bring up the fact that it was fine when she was getting paid etc. Saying that, you could easily meet a non hooker in the west who has had 100s of partners.

 

Also, why was she a working girl? If she quit her job in a bank, to work in a bar, so she can buy an iphone, or a genuine, did it to take care of kids/family etc. The later may even show a strength of character, willing to do anything to take care of kids etc.

 

There seems to be an assumption that working girl automatically means dishonest, a criminal, a liar. Not always the case. 

 

If Donald Trump was a truck driver, living in a motor-home, would his young attractive wife be with him? 

 

Edited February 15, 2017 by Peterw42

[eldragon]

5 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

I think it comes down to the male ego, there will always be a question in the back of your mind asking why is she with you, is it a genuine relationship, love etc, or are you an exclusive ongoing customer, even if its for 20 years. 

 

There is also a male ego thing to do with how many before me etc. Sometime in the relationship it may come back to haunt you. Where did she learn that move, lol. A couple of years into the relationship and she doesnt want sex as much as you would like, are you going to bring up the fact that it was fine when she was getting paid etc. Saying that, you could easily meet a non hooker in the west who has had 100s of partners.

 

Also, why was she a working girl? If she quit her job in a bank, to work in a bar, so she can buy an iphone, or a genuine, did it to take care of kids/family etc. The later may even show a strength of character, willing to do anything to take care of kids etc.

 

There seems to be an assumption that working girl automatically means dishonest, a criminal, a liar. Not always the case. 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, man, that's all absolutely true too. The partners thing is interesting and kinda plays into my issue with the way most men wouldn't trust a girl like this, but they'd expect a woman to trust them even though they've paid for sex. I know tons of guys that visit hookers from time to time, but would probably dump their girl in a second if they found out she had a guy on the side. I believe there is very real science behind this though. I seem to remember reading somewhere that relationships are less likely to work if the woman has had a lot of partners in the past. Not sure if that's b/c of the girl or the attitude of men towards them though.

[zorro1]

Yes it matters! Just yesterday I met a stunning Thai woman in an upmarket bar , covered in gold and impeccably dressed. She showed me many pictures of her daughter living in oz with her fiance( and he was a good looking younger guy) while she waits out the visa process.
Not for a minute did I think she was on the game.. I don't know if it was my compliments on how beautiful she was that softened her up but she blurted out I go with you.. And she did!

Do not trust them!!

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[eldragon]

39 minutes ago, zorro1 said:

Yes it matters! Just yesterday I met a stunning Thai woman in an upmarket bar , covered in gold and impeccably dressed. She showed me many pictures of her daughter living in oz with her fiance( and he was a good looking younger guy) while she waits out the visa process.
Not for a minute did I think she was on the game.. I don't know if it was my compliments on how beautiful she was that softened her up but she blurted out I go with you.. And she did!

Do not trust them!!

Sent from my Redmi Note 3 using Tapatalk
 

 

 

Well, that's kinda a different situation. You're meeting a girl on the job and the presumption is she's only into you for money. So it's difficult to trust her. But let's say you continue seeing that girl and become somewhat attached to her. Or you meet a girl and eventually find out she was on the game from time to time. Wouldn't that be different?

 

I can absolutely tell you though that some if not all of these girls are interested in love on some level, or at least someone cool to hang out with. Met plenty of em that never charged me a dime, or ceased to charge me once they got comfortable with me. In fact, I'd say almost every girl I've been involved with in Thailand- professional or not- has had some man in her life besides her father sending her money, hence the argument "they're all hookers on some level".

 

[JAFO]

1 hour ago, Peterw42 said:

Also, why was she a working girl? If she quit her job in a bank, to work in a bar, so she can buy an iphone, or a genuine, did it to take care of kids/family etc. The later may even show a strength of character, willing to do anything to take care of kids etc.

Very good point. How far would she go to take care of her parents or children? It goes directly towards her character as a person. I mean think about it, So she was a prostitute, she now finds a foreigner to take her away from it. Is her plan to be unemployed forever now? What happens when the guy reels in the money train? Will she fire up her client list for some pocket money? What would she put on a resume? I think their expectations are they found a meal ticket. There just doesn't seem to be a balance in any of it. Lots of risks and not a lot to gain.

[eldragon]

1 minute ago, JAFO said:

Very good point. How far would she go to take care of her parents or children? It goes directly towards her character as a person. I mean think about it, So she was a prostitute, she now finds a foreigner to take her away from it. Is her plan to be unemployed forever now? What happens when the guy reels in the money train? Will she fire up her client list for some pocket money? What would she put on a resume? I think their expectations are they found a meal ticket. There just doesn't seem to be a balance in any of it. Lots of risks and not a lot to gain.

I hope we can all agree that a relationship is likely doomed if money is at the forefront of it. But we should accept that it will always be a factor. I find it hilarious that classy women back home like to say they're not into their man for the money, but I doubt many of em would've gotten with the guy they have if he was working at McDonald's or quit a lucrative position to work there.

[zorro1]

 

Well, that's kinda a different situation. You're meeting a girl on the job and the presumption is she's only into you for money. So it's difficult to trust her. But let's say you continue seeing that girl and become somewhat attached to her. Or you meet a girl and eventually find out she was on the game from time to time. Wouldn't that be different?

 

I can absolutely tell you though that some if not all of these girls are interested in love on some level, or at least someone cool to hang out with. Met plenty of em that never charged me a dime, or ceased to charge me once they got comfortable with me. In fact, I'd say almost every girl I've been involved with in Thailand- professional or not- has had some man in her life besides her father sending her money, hence the argument "they're all hookers on some level".

 

Yes but a girl who over 2 hours heavily discussed her fiance and daughter in oz.

She no doubt should not have still been on the game but once a whore...

Ive had more than my fair share of whores living here but this one was a big surprise..

Price was never discussed, but she accepted what I gave her. Some of these woman also get a bit lonely while the bf is on the other side of the earth but they don't mind the tip in the morning either and that's something a western woman would find a bit horrible..

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[rogeroc]

3 hours ago, JAFO said:

I would think it would take a lot to keep a former prostitute happy likely because she became damaged goods when she sold her soul. 

Edited 3 hours ago by JAFO

Wow that sounds a bit over the top.  Damaged goods! Why has she sold her soul, sexual intercourse is not that precious. You are sounding a little pious and dare i say old fashioned.

 

A Western woman who has divorced her husband, taken most of his belongings and refused to allow him to see the kids has sold her soul, not a young bargirl making ends meet and providing for her family.

[rogeroc]

36 minutes ago, eldragon said:

I hope we can all agree that a relationship is likely doomed if money is at the forefront of it. But we should accept that it will always be a factor. I find it hilarious that classy women back home like to say they're not into their man for the money, but I doubt many of em would've gotten with the guy they have if he was working at McDonald's or quit a lucrative position to work there

No i cannot agree, i suspect money is at the forefront of most relationships, especially from the female perspective. Wealthy women back home are almost invariably looking for a man of greater or similar wealth, there are dedicated dating sites for such encounters. So correct about wealthy woman and McDonalds worker, i totally agree with that

Edited February 15, 2017 by rogeroc

[JAFO]

1 minute ago, rogeroc said:

dare i say old fashioned.

I am in many ways Rogeroc, I admit it. As I said, we all have our own personal expectations (And no I am not some holy roller LOL!). I have always felt that a women who sold her body gives up a part of her dignity and self respect. I am clearly aware that others do not see it that way and I am Ok with their point of view.