Just how Thai are you...

[chiang mai]

Just now, anotheruser said:

Not sure that the question itself is bashing. The resulting answers aren't really indicative that the question was meant to bash anybody. 

Indeed, but on TVF a question such as the OP's is historically a pre-cursor to unlimited bashing , as we have seen. That having been said I accept the OP's motives were likely genuine.

[NoshowJones]

On 2/15/2017 at 5:05 PM, Fookhaht said:

Well, after living here 15 years,  the opening of this thread has at least accomplished one thing for me, personally:  I now know why Thais don't cut the nail of their pinky.  However, I still prefer to politely use a tissue rather than pick. 

As to your other points:

 

• Yes, I eat rice every day.
• I pick my teeth covering my mouth with one hand.
• I wipe my nose with a tissue, rather than blow into a handkerchief.
• I break more traffic laws than I did in my home country.  Sometimes out of necessity.
• I prefer chopsticks over western cutlery for some dishes.
• I shove my food onto my spoon with my fork.  Never put the fork in my mouth anymore. 
• I begrudgingly cut meat with a spoon at the table. 
• At a restaurant, I don't send back a wrong order when I'm with a Thai.  
• The spicy-hotter, the better!
• I don't point my feet at people in a room, nor do I put them up on a coffee table or chair. 
• I don't spazz out any more when a hired worker screws up.  I just politely ask them to re-do it right.  If they argue, they are partially paid, and are asked to leave the job.  All with a smile.  
• Yeah, I've learned to smile a lot more--especially in awkward situations with Thais.  
• I don't hand out papers in class over the heads of other students.
• When among Thais, if I disagree, I keep silent rather than argue. 
• I raise my voice a lot less.  I channel anger differently.
• I've learned to "live and let-live" a lot better.  
• I've stopped saying, "Well, in my country we do it like this....."
• I don't mind waiting for late-comers any more (social situations, service people coming to the house).  I have a smartphone to stay occupied. 
• I've learned the joy of sitting for several hours over an evening meal, enjoying the company of Thai family/friends.  
• I'm a firm believer in the "bum-gun."  
• I've learned to sniff-kiss. 
  
  No, I'm not retired nor live in the "sticks."  I'm a very busy instructor in a 50,000-student body university with many activities and significant responsibilities that include research and textbook authoring.  
  
  Many of these Thai traits I learned to do in other Asian countries where I've worked, so some naturally carried over to Thai culture.  I don't do these things to "be Thai" or "to be more Thai than Thou."   I do many of them because they smooth the daily flow of interaction with family and friends.  Some I do because I like them better than my old ways.  
  
  I still carry a lot of western traits, and I am reminded of that quite often by Thai friends.   In my home country, I have been a manager in a corporation, and an administrator--so I know how to be heard, give orders, and push my weight around when necessary--in that culture.  However, I consider myself no "wussy" for changing as I've done in Thailand.  I feel I've just found a better and stress-free way to live life.  I'm sure it's already added years to my lifespan.  

"I didn't hand out papers in class over the heads of other  students".

Neither did I, I just let the students hand out the papers.

Edited February 16, 2017 by possum1931

[NoshowJones]

1 hour ago, chiang mai said:

I consider my self well integrated, my Thai is far from perfect and there's lots of things here that could be better but I accept and enjoy the place and its people for what they are without feeling the need to criticise to others. Mostly I feel comfortable being the only foreigner amongst a large group of non-English speaking Thai people, perhaps better to say that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. My diet is 80% western food, I can't handle Thai TV but I think many Thai movies are excellent be they humour, scary or almost documentary like. I don't get upset any more when people try to scam me because usually I catch it before it costs me anything - I don't resent the Immigration guys trying to take a cut because the whole country is like that to some degree, it's almost cultural. I know if I ask a question I'll always get an answer and a smile and that it may take several answers before I get the right one, no big deal, it's the way it is.

I have to admit there is a lot of sense in this post.

[Fookhaht]

"I don't hand out papers in class over the heads of other  students".
Neither did I, I just let the students hand out the papers.

And you'll notice the polite ones don't do it over anyone's heads!


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[NoshowJones]

16 minutes ago, chiang mai said:

Not wrong, right, you haven't seen the deleted posts which were simply appalling.

 

 

How did you manage to see them? Are you an undercover mod?

I am not particularly a Thai basher, if I think something should be critical about them I will say so, just as I will also praise them.

[Stevemercer]

I still don't get the bum gun business. They always develop leaks or need to be replaced. It's just another appliance that can go wrong. Toilet paper is simpler. I can see it might be good if you have piles or a sensitive anus.

 

In my part of Thailand most people just have a squat toilet and a cistern of water. What do people do then (particularly when you have the runs)? I don't really want to wipe my ass with my hands. if you splash the water around things can get messy. 

[chiang mai]

1 minute ago, possum1931 said:

How did you manage to see them? Are you an undercover mod?

I am not particularly a Thai basher, if I think something should be critical about them I will say so, just as I will also praise them.

I reported them because I believed they were way OTT, it seems the Mods thought the same. I have no problem reporting posts that I believe are out of order, offensive etc and I hope everyone else shares that view, it's the only way to keep the forum usable and useful.

[kokesaat]

I believe in and honor the spirit that inhabits our land (in the countryside) as much as my wife does.  7 cigarettes, an opened coconut, a few bananas, and 7 sticks of incense for him every Buddha day.  He's been very good to us.

 

If at the head of a line at a red light, waiting to turn right, I will most likely time the light to make my turn before the oncoming cars block my path.  It's what most Thais seem to do......but I'd never try the same thing back in the US.

 

I eat rice most every day, twice a day.  My body starts to have withdrawal if I go a day or two without rice (almost never).

 

I could care less if the corners in my house are exactly 90 degrees or if a faucet is exactly square with the wall.  What matters is that I have a wall and a faucet.

 

 

[anotheruser]

5 minutes ago, chiang mai said:

I reported them because I believed they were way OTT, it seems the Mods thought the same. I have no problem reporting posts that I believe are out of order, offensive etc and I hope everyone else shares that view, it's the only way to keep the forum usable and useful.

 

[CharlieH]

Post removed.

 

10) Do not discuss moderation publicly in the open forum; this includes individual actions, and specific or general policies and issues. You may send a PM to a moderator to discuss individual actions or email support (at) thaivisa.com to discuss moderation policy.

You will not block contact with moderators or administrators. Doing so will result in suspension.
 

[chiang mai]

2 minutes ago, anotheruser said:

 

 

Get over it and get used to, things aren't going to change and there's loads of people out there who feel the same way.

[anotheruser]

Just now, chiang mai said:

 

Get over it and get used to, things aren't going to change and there's loads of people out there who feel the same way.

Grow a sense of humor.

[brd]

it is all a matter of intelligence of choices not taught in any business school.

Why should any educated person being happy falling in the traps of an uneducated country to be absorbed decide

to drop his own high standards acquired via several generations of heritage to its lowest levels where there is not much difference between pets and kids behaviour the first 5 years of their life raised by grand parents living next to buffalos ?

You come, you see, you observe and you decide next yes or no.

Raising myself three boys of which two are biologically mine with a thai wife I went through all the s..t I accepted to see by curiosity then I decided none was for me and certainly none for our boys though I took over smoothly to start with by kicking out all the in-laws because this is our life under our own roof where I impose my own rules none of theirs presents if only and when invited.

Amazing to read on this forum some lists composed of what is less than funny more a list of pure stupidity. 

My budget is under control, the education is checked out tightly interacting with teachers and they are not mixing with neighbours or street boys I call them so busy their weekends are practicing sports and learning english seriously...

Myself refusing to learn Thai preferring to meet Thai educated persons whom can and there are many speak english than to ignore or to smile at all the others.....

It does work 14 years have elapsed in my own case.

We can create a club of similar survivors whom have refused to be screwed more than they are willing to be....

Welcome it is all possible because we are right.

Ignorance is bliss but someone has to pay the bills aren't they !

[chiang mai]

35 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Post removed.

 

10) Do not discuss moderation publicly in the open forum; this includes individual actions, and specific or general policies and issues. You may send a PM to a moderator to discuss individual actions or email support (at) thaivisa.com to discuss moderation policy.

You will not block contact with moderators or administrators. Doing so will result in suspension.
 

Are you back as a Mod permanently?

[chiang mai]

34 minutes ago, anotheruser said:

Grow a sense of humor.

If only we knew!

[anotheruser]

5 minutes ago, chiang mai said:

If only we knew!

I would hardly be shocked by anything said here. Anyway back on topic... I am not Thai and don't try to be and glad I am not.

[gemguy]

Hmmmmm.....I have lived here for 28 years now....

I do not feel Thai at all while Thai people know I am not Thai....obviously ....lol

Is there something I am doing wrong???

Maybe the color of my skin and the color of my eyes restricts me from being like Thai people in many respects.

I am not so sure if things like eating Thai food and speaking Thai language and doing the Thai Wai to Thai people makes me like a Thai person...certainly not in the eyes of Thai people.

Besides......sooner or later .....You learn you can never be like a Thai person while the Thais will never really accept you as being like a Thai person no matter how much you "emulate" them and or their mannerisms and or their persona and or their conduct and or their Thai decorum etc, etc ....because you will never think like them and or  fully understand the way they think or certainly not agree with the way think on all too many matters  ....so why try to be like them......as you were not born as a Thai person.

Just be who you are.....lol

However, they do appreciate the effort and the sincerity when seen to be emulating them in many ways and that is for certain....

Meantime... going with the flow is just sensible and logical and should be enjoyable while everything entailed to emulate the Thai people should be comfortable for you and not something you believe has to be done..... or you will not be happy here.

 

Cheers 

[ThaiWai]

I have my complaints about this culture but try to refer to them as "observations" not complaints.  This is their country/culture, not mine.  I am a guest and a minority here.  If I don't like it they are not going to modify it for me.  I have the option to stay and smile or leave.  One thing I know for sure is I never want to go back "home".  Those people are crazy!

[dick dasterdly]

3 hours ago, Stevemercer said:

I still don't get the bum gun business. They always develop leaks or need to be replaced. It's just another appliance that can go wrong. Toilet paper is simpler. I can see it might be good if you have piles or a sensitive anus.

 

In my part of Thailand most people just have a squat toilet and a cistern of water. What do people do then (particularly when you have the runs)? I don't really want to wipe my ass with my hands. if you splash the water around things can get messy. 

I don't feel 'Thai' at all - there are too many differences between our cultures - BUT, I love the bum gun!

 

There are many other things I prefer over the West too e.g.:-

 

Being able to turn left at traffic lights (on a red light) when the road is clear.

 

Smiling being treated as a friendly gesture, rather than something only done by the mentally unstable.

 

The easy-going nature of Thais (as long as you don't seriously annoy them).

 

etc. etc. 

[jak2002003]

3 hours ago, brd said:

it is all a matter of intelligence of choices not taught in any business school.

Why should any educated person being happy falling in the traps of an uneducated country to be absorbed decide

to drop his own high standards acquired via several generations of heritage to its lowest levels where there is not much difference between pets and kids behaviour the first 5 years of their life raised by grand parents living next to buffalos ?

You come, you see, you observe and you decide next yes or no.

Raising myself three boys of which two are biologically mine with a thai wife I went through all the s..t I accepted to see by curiosity then I decided none was for me and certainly none for our boys though I took over smoothly to start with by kicking out all the in-laws because this is our life under our own roof where I impose my own rules none of theirs presents if only and when invited.

Amazing to read on this forum some lists composed of what is less than funny more a list of pure stupidity. 

My budget is under control, the education is checked out tightly interacting with teachers and they are not mixing with neighbours or street boys I call them so busy their weekends are practicing sports and learning english seriously...

Myself refusing to learn Thai preferring to meet Thai educated persons whom can and there are many speak english than to ignore or to smile at all the others.....

It does work 14 years have elapsed in my own case.

We can create a club of similar survivors whom have refused to be screwed more than they are willing to be....

Welcome it is all possible because we are right.

Ignorance is bliss but someone has to pay the bills aren't they !

Why on earth are you living here if you have such a low opinion of the country and all its people?

 

And what have you got against buffalos?!

 

I feel sorry for your 'biological' children if they have no free time at weekends to play with children from their own street,  and are forced to spend hours learning English and play sports. 

 

Why you are 'refusing' to learn any Thai, the language of the country you call home?  What would you think about someone living in your birth country and refusing to learn any of the language as they think their language is superior? 

 

I hope your 'biological children' will speak better English than you currently do.  I can see why you refuse to learn Thai as you have not yet learnt English. 

 

If you want to live isolated from the country, people, culture and customs of the country you live in that's up to you... but you are missing out on a huge amount in your life, and you are also depriving your children of their cultural heritage, not to mention the close family connections that are part of every day life here. 

 

Have you stopped to ask yourself what your wife's family think about you?  As you say you pay the bills... does that hold everybody in your family to ransom?  Your post makes you seem a control freak. 

 

 

 

 

[bbbbooboo]

hmmm.... why would I want to become more thai? What is it called when a question answers itself?

[Fookhaht]

There's a lot of things I prefer about this culture and have become very accustomed to. The bum-gun. The fork & spoon. The way people don't ask a lot of questions and let things go easily. But it's important to pay attention to which changes and adaptations can result in losing your identity or would be seen as degrading yourself back home. For example, I refuse to lower my head around someone that is seen as more important than me.

As to your last statement, I think most Thais don't expect westerners to do so in normal, daily life. In so many situations like this, we have a "farang license."

There are some notable exceptions though, when you meet the occasional narcissistic hi-so who occupies a slightly-elevated position and expects all to kow-tow. No licenses granted from those of this ilk. In that case, I'm with you.

Of course, you find that kind in every culture on earth. Nothing new here.

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[Rimmer]

An off topic post has been removed

[GarryP]

17 hours ago, hanssna said:

After 15 years I feel more like a look khrung..   half Thai style and half Farang.

 

- After most of the sentences in English, I say  'nah ?'

- I need to eat Mookata (BBQ) at least every week, and eat with chopsticks. And need lots of spicy sauce.

- If someone says something clever, I say ' eeuh' !  (falling tone)

- Never ride 'motorcike'  with a helmet, I just take it out of the seat box when I see police

- When driving car, I take over other cars on the left and the right side

- Showering 2 times a day, with almost cold water

- Don't use expensive shower cream, but just normal soap

- And sure, I hate toilets without bum guns

- When a Thai approaches me on a moto on the wrong way of the road, and almost  hits  me, he smiles and I smile back. I have done the same sometimes...

- I don't get into arguments with Thai guys ( especially not while drinking )

- I like beer Leo and enjoy some peanuts with it in a bar , some dried chilies in them are even better.

- Sang som tastes a lot better then Jack Daniels ( well, to me that is 55 )

- I enjoy some rain and don't curse it like in Europe.

- I also learned to smile a lot more and don't take drunken farang, talking lots of BS, serious at all.

- I use the horn of my car about 800 x less than back in Europe.

- I got a lot more patient with things, except at street food stalls where I never had to wait more than 10 minutes for my food ( and a perfect time to buy and consume a Leo from a local shop ).

- I solve medical problems with the people i know at the local pharmacy instead of seeing a doctor.

- I play Thai music just as often as western music

 

but...  I still love my western breakfast sometimes.. and pizza once in a while. Will always remain partly western.

 

 

 

 

 

You use 55555 instead of hahaha!!!!

[roo860]

yes!!! spot-on!!!
as for me,
-i set out immediately to absorb as much of the Thai culture as well as learn to read, write, and speak the language, which i understand what is said very well, but by my admission i speak Thai about 20% (my Thai friends and neighbors insist my speaking is closer to 50%)
-i seldom if ever eat Western food unless my Thai next door neighbors who own a bakery/cafe cook something for me- but every once in a while, ya gotta have a pizza!!! 
-my Thai nickname derives from my first visit to our island and my usage of chopsticks (before i knew that we only use them for Chinese-style dishes such as noodles, etc)- read my book for details (which my agent insisted i write when i moved here 7 1/2 yrs ago)
-when somebody calls me "farang" my Thai friends/neighbors respond "no, dok mai is Thai!!!"
-i am wai'ed and referred to as "P' dok mai" or "khun dok mai" by EVERY Thai on the island, and elsewhere wherever i travel here
 
i could continue; but what i will NEVER do is Thai-bash, for EVERY single day, this wondrous and amazing  (and yes, sometimes baffling) place changes and saves my life...
 

So what about this book?

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[Fookhaht]

it is all a matter of intelligence of choices not taught in any business school.

Why should any educated person being happy falling in the traps of an uneducated country to be absorbed decide

to drop his own high standards acquired via several generations of heritage to its lowest levels where there is not much difference between pets and kids behaviour the first 5 years of their life raised by grand parents living next to buffalos ?

You come, you see, you observe and you decide next yes or no.

Raising myself three boys of which two are biologically mine with a thai wife I went through all the s..t I accepted to see by curiosity then I decided none was for me and certainly none for our boys though I took over smoothly to start with by kicking out all the in-laws because this is our life under our own roof where I impose my own rules none of theirs presents if only and when invited.

Amazing to read on this forum some lists composed of what is less than funny more a list of pure stupidity. 

My budget is under control, the education is checked out tightly interacting with teachers and they are not mixing with neighbours or street boys I call them so busy their weekends are practicing sports and learning english seriously...

Myself refusing to learn Thai preferring to meet Thai educated persons whom can and there are many speak english than to ignore or to smile at all the others.....

It does work 14 years have elapsed in my own case.

We can create a club of similar survivors whom have refused to be screwed more than they are willing to be....

Welcome it is all possible because we are right.

Ignorance is bliss but someone has to pay the bills aren't they !

Two observations:

1) Complete rejection of the host culture

2) Fortress mentality

The second is a necessary result of the first, if you decide to stay here.

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[Fookhaht]

So what about this book?

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Ah! He takes the bait!


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[roo860]

Ah! He takes the bait!


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The none existent book?

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[Fookhaht]

The none existent book?

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It probably exists. Just noting how you succumbed to the poster's gentle marketing effort. ;-)


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[roo860]

It probably exists. Just noting how you succumbed to the poster's gentle marketing effort. ;-)


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I wouldn't buy <deleted> all from anyone who goes around thinking they are Thai or any other race that they are not.
I had enough of those types when travelling around India, come out of an ashram and give themselves some ridiculous name.

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