Am I naive, gullible or just very stupid?

[abab]

Simon43 has opened a new account on Thaivisa ?

 

:-)

 

 

 

[Formaleins]

On ‎16‎/‎04‎/‎2017 at 2:23 PM, PomPolo said:

That also confused me - my cynical side would say that a Thai ladies second god after buddha is baht, it is this sort of cynicism I am trying to avoid.  Maybe just because she thought I would!

Sorry but Buddha comes a very poor second when it comes to money in Thailand, Money is their God, without it they are nothing (as they perceive) They have less status, less "Face"  - Even if your girlfriend was loaded and you were a lowly foreigner, she would be losing face by having someone like you.

 

Buddha is just something they are made to believe is important for their next lives, but usually still involves giving money one way or another.

[ajarngreg]

3 minutes ago, Formaleins said:

Sorry but Buddha comes a very poor second when it comes to money in Thailand, Money is their God, without it they are nothing (as they perceive) They have less status, less "Face"  - Even if your girlfriend was loaded and you were a lowly foreigner, she would be losing face by having someone like you.

 

Buddha is just something they are made to believe is important for their next lives, but usually still involves giving money one way or another.

 

 

Which next life? Is there a life before death? 

Edited April 17, 2017 by ajarngreg

[gemguy]

You and thousands of other men before you have been down the same road and milked by a cunning, money grubbing Thai women

My story:

When my Thai GF was continually asking for money...and once too many times and once too many BS stories.... I made a plan.

When she finally went up country to see her family and relatives....... I moved out of my apartment and moved into another apartment and never talked to her again and I did not see her again, fortunately...but I did run into her friend almost 1 year or so later.

She said: You No good....Why you do like that to my friend

I said : Yes ..I am no Good ...and that is why I gave her the golden opportunity to find a better man...thank you....and one with more money than me.

And walked a way a happy care free man

 

The Thai women can be like parasites of the worst kind once they start to get their hooks into you for money and or possessions..... and  always be aware that 9 times out of 10 they are not doing it all alone as most often they have a family member or relative or secret  boyfriend or even a secret husband lurking around and helping her to plot and plan  and encouraging her and or demanding that she manipulate you ( The Farang ) for your money. 

[ajarngreg]

1 minute ago, gemguy said:

You and thousands of other men before you have been down the same road and milked by a cunning, money grubbing Thai women

My story:

When my Thai GF was continually asking for money...and once too many times and once too many BS stories.... I made a plan.

When she finally went up country to see her family and relatives....... I moved out of my apartment and moved into another apartment and never talked to her again and I did not see her again, fortunately...but I did run into her friend almost 1 year or so later.

She said: You No good....Why you do like that to my friend

I said : Yes ..I am no Good ...and that is why I gave her the golden opportunity to find a better man...thank you....and one with more money than me.

And walked a way a happy care free man

 

The Thai women can be like parasites of the worst kind once they start to get their hooks into you for money and or possessions..... and  always be aware that 9 times out of 10 they are not doing it all alone as most often they have a family member or relative or secret  boyfriend or even a secret husband lurking around and helping her to plot and plan  and encouraging her and or demanding that she manipulate you ( The Farang ) for your money. 

 

You can call yourself  a lucky man and your name is not on the "Farangdeath page. 

[gemguy]

2 minutes ago, ajarngreg said:

You can call yourself  a lucky man and your name is not on the "Farangdeath page. 

I hear what you say ...but I figure what I did do, I did it Thai Style...lol

[abrahamzvi]

On 4/16/2017 at 2:05 PM, PomPolo said:

 

Completely fair - and I am changing my attitude a lot, but I do love the country and don't want to become cynical, bitter and twisted towards any future relationship, I love the country and the people and am trying my best not to let my relationship experiences reflect on my opinion of what is my favourite country in the world.

There are many reasons to love Thailand. I most certainly do. You have been very unlucky and to a certain degree too gullible. But, believe me that there are many very decent , nice and honest Thai ladies. I have been happily married to one for nearly 30 years and I do know quite a few mixed couples living happily together in Thailand and other countries. Don't stop seeing Thai ladies as you may think that all are like the 3 you have experienced. Just be more careful and patient.

[tonray]

14 minutes ago, Formaleins said:

Sorry but Buddha comes a very poor second when it comes to money in Thailand, Money is their God, without it they are nothing (as they perceive) They have less status, less "Face"  - Even if your girlfriend was loaded and you were a lowly foreigner, she would be losing face by having someone like you.

 

Buddha is just something they are made to believe is important for their next lives, but usually still involves giving money one way or another.

Sounds like Christmas we in the west like to celebrate.

[thaiguzzi]

On 16/04/2017 at 2:39 PM, SiamBeast said:

(..) Naive

(..) Guillible

(..) Very stupid

(X) All of the above

 

First, here is my #1 hint. And it applies to any man: Since you can afford to have higher standards in Thailand than in your home country, stop dating single moms. They're train wrecks, financial dead-ends. The "cheating" argument isn't valid, because by dating a single mom, you're a cuckold right at the start. She's just "reminding" you that fact when she cheats on you.

 

Next, I wouldn't recommend bringing a Thai girl to your home country  for extended periods of time. While there's nothing explicitely wrong in doing it, there is a possibility that she might discover "better farangs" since she's surrounded by them, and get poisoned by "social cancers" like equality, feminism, hypergamy, etc. and will start adopting the values, think about freedom, and eventually leave you. Unless you live in a pretty conservative country, stay in Thailand with her.

 

Next, never put assets in a girl's name. Not even a family member. It should be under your name only. If legal restrictions prevent you from doing so, hire a lawyer to set up a Thai companies and (if needed) have nominees in place with a bulletproof contract. If you have no money to pay for a corporate lawyer, you have no money to start a business. You'll sleep better at night knowing that you're the only one in control of your assets.

 

Next, if you get married, have a prenup! This little piece of paper will cost you 30,000 baht but will save you millions if your wife decides to go rogue. Basically the prenup states that what's yours is yours, what's hers is hers, and she has "no right to attempt to take any share in your assets in any mean". Basically, no alimony, no child support, etc. You're eliminating one more incentive for her to leave.

 

Next, "dowry", a.ka. "sin sot", is only for virgins. While you can offer something to her family as a "good will gesture" if she's second-hand, you're not required to show money at the wedding. A family who will refuse to let her daughter marry is a family you don't want to marry into, so consider this a favor from them.

 

Next, girls you meet in bars are good for short-term amusement, but NEVER for relationships. It's just too much drama. You can get the girl out of the bar, but you can't get the bar out of the girl. What goes around comes around.

 

Wish you the best, but if I may ask, how old are you? (Just an age  bracket)

 

P.S. A lot of young men (like when I arrived here) who want some quick adventure just look on ThaiFriendly and Tinder for single moms due to their "easiness" for one night stands, i.e. a zero-effort adventure when we don't feel like going through the formal 2-date process. This means that the single moms you guys are dating probably had 10 to 15 men pass on them before - talk about a big eskimo brother family. If you date them, it's a bit like going to 7-eleven, taking the expired pint of milk to the counter and offering to pay double for it.

 

Disagree.

My personal experience is virtually the complete opposite to what you have written in all of the above. Totally . Now 14 years and counting...

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Sadly, you sound like nice guy. Too trusting maybe.

Sorry mate, but its a yes from me, a yes from Howie and a yes from scary spice.

Congratulations, you have 3 yes's.

Joking aside, you are every bargirl's, and any conniving, scheming ,hard hearted, cheating, two faced bitch in Thailand. You needed to 'harden up' after number one did a number on you.If i met you , i would probably like you, but, i have no sympathy for you mate, you walked straight into it, several times.

[nervona81732]

Unlike you, I decided to investigate Thailand due to a friends suggestion. I was not looking for a relationship. A woman was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. I was looking for a soft place ( economical ) to retire at. I met my wife some time later. Some time after my initial introduction to Thailand I , in my spare time got onto a website and met ( through internet communications ) some females but set an age limit for myself. First one friend only, second one more serious but had a western attitude ( didn't need that crap ) third one when leaving website saw a gal ( simple , honest hard working woman ) thought to myself I could do that. Mad a date for a certain time when I would be back in Thailand and take her to dinner and see what we had in common. That was seven years ago and I am NOT disappointed, in fact I have MORE than I possibly expected. She is the real deal. Her every wish is to help me feel comfortable. There are times when ( I must admit ) my PTSD 4.0 shines through ( X Vietnam Vet helicopter aviator ) nuff said, she is so understandind and through out the years has learned so much about the world at large. She was totally inocent at the ripe old age of 47 when I met her. Married 9 days before she turned 48. it was like being with someone ( female ) totally unaware of her true innocence. I had to take it very slow and let her know she was safe in my comfort. As time went by she learned to relax and we built a life and confidence between each other. We have a wonder life and ALL her extended family lives in the general area in the moo ban are where we live and they are all very comfortable with me as I am of them. I am closer to them than my biological family in the states. In fact I would much rather be with these folks ( my wife and local family and neighbors ). 

Yes there are REAL down to earth folks out there to connect with. People who will accept you as who you are. God knows, these folks never know what I will come up with next! LOL. Instead of myself having to conform to their culture it has been a sharing experience and have learned from my spontaneity and from theirs. 

Don't let your gullibility get the best of you. Don't think from your privates. Be honest , straight forward and most of all stay out of the bars. Look in the hinter land where the folks are SIMPLE HONEST HARD WORKING PEOPLE and appreciate your honesty and spontaneity. Speaks volumes and goes a long way and they are more forgiving than you are accustomed to in the west. 

OK NAY SAYERS bring it on. 

[zzidenn]

I have lived in in thailand  for a good four years and my best friend from university is thai. I will move back here at some point because I also love this country to bits. 

The best advice my thai friends gave me (and most of my friends are thai) is To date someone who is your equal. I'm gay by the way but it makes no difference. 

If u want to have a relationship that is worthwhile, a university degree is a good start, a girl who has studied abroad even better. There are many sophisticated and well educated people around, you just have to know where to find them. Dress up nicely and go to the it-bars or clubs.  I usually need aproval from my friends if I bring a guy home, but it's a good idea. Many of my friends come from Issan, but they are hardworking and fierce, they have to be because thai Chinese will look down on them simply because they are from the countryside. The thai government offers extensive scholarship programs to talented thais, regardless of where they come from....

 

I know thais to be generous and friendly, all my friends work hard and make lots of money, they are driven and successful. 

 

If you are just in thailand because you feel getting a poor woman is ur only option in life ( or you like to be a savior of sorts) maybe you have to change ur attitude and your hunting scheme.....

 

i wish you the best of luck, don't give up and start hanging out in i.E. smalls in Sathorn , the so sofitel in saladaeng, cafe de stagiaires, any place in thonglor, ekamai, etc. 

Edited April 17, 2017 by zzidenn
Typos

[Ulic]

Dude, you hit the trifecta on the first relationship. Naive, gullible, and stupid.  As for the next two

you are either a glut for punishment, or don't really care. Nothing wrong with that. If you can

afford it, no problem. Different strokes for different folks. A rescue, martyr, cuckold all rolled

into one. Enjoy life eyes wide open.   

[madusa]

When your money is all gone you will feel very stupid.

[binjalin]

18 minutes ago, nervona81732 said:

Unlike you, I decided to investigate Thailand due to a friends suggestion. I was not looking for a relationship. A woman was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. I was looking for a soft place ( economical ) to retire at. I met my wife some time later. Some time after my initial introduction to Thailand I , in my spare time got onto a website and met ( through internet communications ) some females but set an age limit for myself. First one friend only, second one more serious but had a western attitude ( didn't need that crap ) third one when leaving website saw a gal ( simple , honest hard working woman ) thought to myself I could do that. Mad a date for a certain time when I would be back in Thailand and take her to dinner and see what we had in common. That was seven years ago and I am NOT disappointed, in fact I have MORE than I possibly expected. She is the real deal. Her every wish is to help me feel comfortable. There are times when ( I must admit ) my PTSD 4.0 shines through ( X Vietnam Vet helicopter aviator ) nuff said, she is so understandind and through out the years has learned so much about the world at large. She was totally inocent at the ripe old age of 47 when I met her. Married 9 days before she turned 48. it was like being with someone ( female ) totally unaware of her true innocence. I had to take it very slow and let her know she was safe in my comfort. As time went by she learned to relax and we built a life and confidence between each other. We have a wonder life and ALL her extended family lives in the general area in the moo ban are where we live and they are all very comfortable with me as I am of them. I am closer to them than my biological family in the states. In fact I would much rather be with these folks ( my wife and local family and neighbors ). 

Yes there are REAL down to earth folks out there to connect with. People who will accept you as who you are. God knows, these folks never know what I will come up with next! LOL. Instead of myself having to conform to their culture it has been a sharing experience and have learned from my spontaneity and from theirs. 

Don't let your gullibility get the best of you. Don't think from your privates. Be honest , straight forward and most of all stay out of the bars. Look in the hinter land where the folks are SIMPLE HONEST HARD WORKING PEOPLE and appreciate your honesty and spontaneity. Speaks volumes and goes a long way and they are more forgiving than you are accustomed to in the west. 

OK NAY SAYERS bring it on. 

scored a 48 year old eh?  congrats!

[Sirbergan]

4 hours ago, Laza 45 said:

30,000 Bt for school fees for 2 kids????   Keep you money and run!

 

Would you want your children in a school that costs any less in this country? At only 15k per year, I would be very worried about their education.

[DILLIGAD]

- Being a virgin: My wife was one when I met her (28 y.o.). Just like 75% of her friends. Don't get me started with the "fake" thing, I am convinced of my thing.
- Enjoying cleaning: Not sure if that's real, but at least she does it with a smile. If she doesn't enjoy it, at least she fakes it very well.
- University: She graduated from Thammasat - not the best in the world but still better than nothing, anyway there are more important things in life.
- Having lived in the West: I am talking about America and Western Europe mostly - but my wife never left the country before meeting me.
 
At her last birthday party (31 y.o.) last month, 9 of her girl friends came. Out of those 9, three satisfy all the criteria above, and 2 satisfy 3 out of 4 of them.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[laislica]

34 minutes ago, nervona81732 said:

Unlike you, I decided to investigate Thailand due to a friends suggestion. I was not looking for a relationship. A woman was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. I was looking for a soft place ( economical ) to retire at. I met my wife some time later. Some time after my initial introduction to Thailand I , in my spare time got onto a website and met ( through internet communications ) some females but set an age limit for myself. First one friend only, second one more serious but had a western attitude ( didn't need that crap ) third one when leaving website saw a gal ( simple , honest hard working woman ) thought to myself I could do that. Mad a date for a certain time when I would be back in Thailand and take her to dinner and see what we had in common. That was seven years ago and I am NOT disappointed, in fact I have MORE than I possibly expected. She is the real deal. Her every wish is to help me feel comfortable. There are times when ( I must admit ) my PTSD 4.0 shines through ( X Vietnam Vet helicopter aviator ) nuff said, she is so understandind and through out the years has learned so much about the world at large. She was totally inocent at the ripe old age of 47 when I met her. Married 9 days before she turned 48. it was like being with someone ( female ) totally unaware of her true innocence. I had to take it very slow and let her know she was safe in my comfort. As time went by she learned to relax and we built a life and confidence between each other. We have a wonder life and ALL her extended family lives in the general area in the moo ban are where we live and they are all very comfortable with me as I am of them. I am closer to them than my biological family in the states. In fact I would much rather be with these folks ( my wife and local family and neighbors ). 

Yes there are REAL down to earth folks out there to connect with. People who will accept you as who you are. God knows, these folks never know what I will come up with next! LOL. Instead of myself having to conform to their culture it has been a sharing experience and have learned from my spontaneity and from theirs. 

Don't let your gullibility get the best of you. Don't think from your privates. Be honest , straight forward and most of all stay out of the bars. Look in the hinter land where the folks are SIMPLE HONEST HARD WORKING PEOPLE and appreciate your honesty and spontaneity. Speaks volumes and goes a long way and they are more forgiving than you are accustomed to in the west. 

OK NAY SAYERS bring it on. 

 

A great post and it made me realise that we should remember that he is only a lad LOL 44....

The success stories seem to be from older guys, often retired and with reasonable pensions?

At 44, no retirement visa..... So a marriage visa????

Needs to work and if that is to a local company, the money may not be that great?

Working for an overseas company would give greater financial possibilities......

 

At or about retirement age, I finally knew what type of relationship I wanted.

At 44, I really didn't know.....

 

Perhaps the OP needs to think about what he really wants, before jumping into another relationship.

 

Maybe try to find a friend (or two) with benefits and take it from there?

Edited April 17, 2017 by laislica

[A1Str8]

You say you did the dowry, then sent money to the poor family back home in isaan. That's a clear indication that you only think you understand thailand but in fact you have not the slightest clue otherwise you wouldn't let them take you for a ride with all this outdated bs. 

Then you say she cheated on you many times but you forgave her. That shows that you don't understand women either or you wouldn't let them take you for a sucker. 

As for why it is so, everything depends on your state of mind. If people treat you like this, then this is how much you value yourself. 

 

[RocketDog]

1 hour ago, gemguy said:

You and thousands of other men before you have been down the same road and milked by a cunning, money grubbing Thai women

My story:

When my Thai GF was continually asking for money...and once too many times and once too many BS stories.... I made a plan.

When she finally went up country to see her family and relatives....... I moved out of my apartment and moved into another apartment and never talked to her again and I did not see her again, fortunately...but I did run into her friend almost 1 year or so later.

She said: You No good....Why you do like that to my friend

I said : Yes ..I am no Good ...and that is why I gave her the golden opportunity to find a better man...thank you....and one with more money than me.

And walked a way a happy care free man

 

The Thai women can be like parasites of the worst kind once they start to get their hooks into you for money and or possessions..... and  always be aware that 9 times out of 10 they are not doing it all alone as most often they have a family member or relative or secret  boyfriend or even a secret husband lurking around and helping her to plot and plan  and encouraging her and or demanding that she manipulate you ( The Farang ) for your money. 

Bitter much? Still, point taken. Crude but undoubtedly true to some degree or another in all these stories.

 

I have lurked on these forums with the married and single old hands bloviating and ridiculing each other for only a few months.

NNonetheless, I am honestly impressesed with the quality and heartfelt nature of the responses to the OP even when they were too blunt or caustic.

Perhaps not surprisingly, many responders admitted to sadly similar personal experiences and outcomes ..

 

 To the OP:;:

I'm a newbie here but can see these old coots on here are being uncharacteristically easy on you. You apparently displayed the proper mix of contrition and self-deprecation to elicit their momentary sympathy and heartfelt advice.

 

My advice is to take all their advice, condense it all in your head to common themes and players, and then privately recall all of your history with women but re-imagine yourself acting in a more enlightened manner in each case.

 

If the possible outcomes you envision seem more attractive, then go out and give it a try. If they seem worse then go back to your old ways. After all,  you were getting laid regularly. You just paid too much for it. Mai Pen Rai

 

BTW,  my opinion is that you Were all the things you mentioned in the first post. But.......you don't have to be anymore.

PS: I did some stupid crap like that when i first came here and will undoubtedly do some more before it's all over.

.But I am wiser myself now for your post and the replies.

Thanks to all.

[ThaidaGwaii]

I married a very nice woman in Thailand 7 years ago.  As far as I know, she loves me and is not cheating on me.  As for her family, the typical BS that I should support them but I don't, except for her aging mom.  I know other men who don't have any problems in Thailand so it's not all bad like you seem to think.  I don't go to bars...

[rwill]

LOL, I am not falling for this!

 

[4MyEgo]

On 16/04/2017 at 5:09 PM, PomPolo said:

Regarding my second relationship the girl I was with was also very wealthy in her own right, also from a powerful family which sort of made me trust her a lot more as I was under the impression that she didn't desperately need my money.  So to clarify all my relationships do not begin in bars.  I have read many TV posts on mutually respectful relationships with Thai ladies, and believe me I have tried my hardest to find one of these.  Anyone with any success stories please let me know where I am going wrong.

It's the luck of the draw, and when you find her, you MUST always keep total control of your finances, because its in the breed, you should always bait them now and again, personally married a gal 10 years ago, so far, so good, trust her 100%, the other 10% I have to say I cannot trust, that goes for anyone, let alone a woman, because it would leave me wide open (financially), and we all know without financial control over our money, we would be up that creek, heard it far too often, as the saying goes, only invest as much as your prepared to lose, and always have plan B to fall back on, the exit plan.

 

For what its worth, I really can't understand why guys throw money at women, (not having a go at you personally), but the only difference is the camel toe, would rather piss it up with my mates, then lose it to a woman, not just a Thai woman, any woman.

Edited April 17, 2017 by 4MyEgo

[SiamBeast]

For those who think this is fantasy, I don't know where you guys get your girls, but if you are happy with a single mom, then it's fine - do what you want. But I'm probably your Eskimo brother.

 

I never had problems with finding a virgin - just like hundreds of thousands of Thai men who are married to a girl who never had a boyfriend before. Those "good" girls are not found on ThaiFriendly or Tinder, they are found through social circle when you know the culture and the language.

[Destiny1990]

17 minutes ago, SiamBeast said:

For those who think this is fantasy, I don't know where you guys get your girls, but if you are happy with a single mom, then it's fine - do what you want. But I'm probably your Eskimo brother.

 

I never had problems with finding a virgin - just like hundreds of thousands of Thai men who are married to a girl who never had a boyfriend before. Those "good" girls are not found on ThaiFriendly or Tinder, they are found through social circle when you know the culture and the language.

maybe the girl is good but i have serious doubts about you...

[SiamBeast]

3 minutes ago, Destiny1990 said:

maybe the girl is good but i have serious doubts about you...

 

Well, one thing for sure, I'm not a politically correct guy. While my goal isn't to hurt anyone, I am often keen to give my opinion in hot topics like this one, even if it is contrary to some.

[Destiny1990]

15 minutes ago, SiamBeast said:

 

Well, one thing for sure, I'm not a politically correct guy. While my goal isn't to hurt anyone, I am often keen to give my opinion in hot topics like this one, even if it is contrary to some.

U being disrespectful.

and probably always single while thai girls are looking down to u..just mine innerthoughts

[lostinataxi]

On 4/16/2017 at 2:52 AM, worgeordie said:

If you need to have a partner,just keep looking,but stop spending

so much on them,the odds are you will find the right one,there are

good ones out there,ones you can trust,that will be faithful,are not

after your money,I found mine 30 years ago,she's a saver not a spender,

honest as the day is long,does not shirk work,excellent mother and wife,

I am a very lucky man.  and good luck to you.

regards Worgeordie

You must've had the stars and moon in perfect alignment OR were just extremely lucky to have found a good one.  I thought I had a good one too.  She didn't work in bars and came from a family with money.   She too was frugal.  She was NOT from Issan.  She never asked for anything from me at all, not money, things, whatever.....nada.  She was middle aged as well.  I thought she was mature, but now it seems I was wrong about that too.

 

After living in America for some time, she and her young (19 year old when she came her, now 26 years old) daughter became "brain polluted" by what they saw and heard from other Americans and especially American women they worked with.  It took only about a year or so for her daughter to start going off the rails, making bad choices, etc...   Wife never wanted any advice on anything either.   I never was part of her inner circle, which I suspect was due to me being a farang, even though they were now the farangs living in MY country, their mindset never changed I suspect.  

 

 In the end, she had unrealistic expectations and just left me like a ghost one day.  This is a woman who most people would say was a good one, still....  shit happens.  Yesterday was our 7th wedding anniversary and I've not seen her or spoken with her for two years now.   Last week she finally sent me something on skype.  She wants to divorce and I will give it to her.  

 

Life will teach her what I cannot.  

 

She also said I can be friends with her if I want to, as if she's doing me some kind of favor.   There is such a huge gap in our cultures that she just doesn't want to understand she's not in Thailand anymore and we do things differently here.

 

 I cannot be friends with her after learning how she and her grown kids have deceived me, lied to me, hid things from me, and I believe she has cheated on me too.  

 

How does one be friends with this sort of person?  She is delusional.

 

 I have to now cut out the cancer and try to live.  

 

She doesn't value a man who actually loves her, cares for her, provided for her, etc..  so let her find out what it is like with someone else who won't wait two years for her.    I will go buy some good Orville Redenbacher popcorn and some cokes and watch the movie of her life (we live in a small town and I have eyes and ears everywhere--  impossible to hide things here) and see her self destruct, and her daughter who has decided to live with a meth addict and thief (convicted felon).  Man that's a bright future eh?  

 

It should be a good movie, kind of like Titanic.   Moral of this story is listen to your intuition.  I didn't listen to mine and I'm paying for it now.   She's 53 years old, but acting like a teenager.  It's embarrassing frankly to have such a wife.   Buh-bye!   

Edited April 17, 2017 by lostinataxi

[ncc1701d]

it would seem that some guys fall very quickly and easily. I am one such guy, but I'm trying to be more like my work colleagues who seem to be able to have a "relationship" anywhere from 1 night to 1 month and have no problems in parting ways. I don't know what triggers that "this is not working" scenario. Thinking with your head over your endorphins may be a start. As soon as they ask for money... 

[rickudon]

A lot of posts. Yes, the OP was maybe a bit naive or gullible, and maybe unlucky. But reality is that many long term relationships ARE successful. I have been in Isaan for nearly eight years, and most of the friends i have made in those years are still with their partners. Yes, there have been those who have had the WBU (Water Buffalo University) experience, and a few stumble from one train wreck of a relationship to another - but usually if you find out about their personal lives the reasons become apparent!

 

Most of us in Isaan are over 50 and usually here BECAUSE it all went wrong in our past relationship(s). So we do come with emotional baggage. Most of us are retired, so can usually offer a level of security to a Thai partner (top of the list of their wants, if genuine). But it does mean we have to do a bit of due diligence when it comes to long term partners, as most thai women expect us to be rich, comparatively.

 

My tips for success - 

 

1. Thai women with a drug, alcohol or gambling problem are a disaster waiting to happen.

 

2. Bargirls have learned to be mercenary. But many want a way out and a farang is their best option, but it can work, just be very careful.

 

3. Your wallet makes you a handsome man. But be real, if she is under 30 and attractive, why is she with you?

 

4, Internet dating. Plenty of scammers, but their are genuine girls there. Read lots of profiles, and try and pick the most genuine (remember tip 3). Also, a girl who will go to bed with you on your first or second date probably isn't interested in your personality, and may be multi-tasking (I know one who is working her way through a list of 5 men, looking for the best deal). A girl genuinely looking for a long term partner will have doubts and will take time to get to know you. 

 

5. Thais lie. Just a fact of life. They will tell you what they think you want to hear. It takes time for them to be honest with you, not a red flag, just cultural thing. They will not tell you about the debts until after the hook is well set.

 

6. Those single mums - not necessarily scammers, but it is hard for them to find a good Thai man, that is what make us more attractive, But as said, those children will always come first. Accept that or walk,

 

7. Look after your partner financially - just the day to day expenses, pocket money and treat her family decently. Man up for genuine emergencies and help. With time you will be trusted and loved (hopefully!)

 

8. Virgins. Yes, many exist, even over 30. But they cost more, and ask yourself, a girl who has lasted that long without sex, maybe will have a lower sex drive. But it should mean less risk of straying.