What would Thai women think of a foreigner coming to Thailand to find a wife or girlfriend to bring back to Australia ?

[Iamtoofat]

39 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Dear OP:

 

There are some decent women over here.

 

But there are also some women here who have the ability to dilate their pupils at will to make it feel like you are peering deeply into their soul, to cry heart-wrenching tears of anguish at the thought of separating from you, and to feign a compatibility with you beyond your wildest dreams. The problem is that western social experience does not always prepare western men to adroitly interpret these sometimes misleading signals from Thai women. It takes a fair amount of time on the ground to understand cultural norms, a lot of trial and error, language skills, and a fair amount of luck to navigate through the chutes and ladders of finding the girl of your dreams over here. Just sorting out what is a legitimate cultural difference (which you might be inclined to accommodate), versus an aberrant personality trait or behavior (which is unacceptable) takes a lot of time. You might get lucky, but in my opinion 6-9 months isn't enough time to really get your bearings over here. 

 

In terms of what an everyday Thai woman would make of a guy with a "Seven brides for seven brothers" mindset, in my opinion, most would be, understandably, dubious and skeptical. I live in a small village. Nearby there are many small towns, and maybe in a two hour radius there are several good size cities. Away from my village, I could present myself as single if I wanted to. I can speak Thai very well. Without giving you a full fledged dating profile, let's just say, I'm half-decent looking, presentable, and affable. Thai women, when I am talking to them in a cluster, will often say things like "I'd like to have a farang husband." I used to think that they really did want a foreign husband. But I've come to realize that very very few of these women were really serious, and genuinely wished they had a foreign husband. They were just shooting the breeze, playfully passing the time of day, tossing out a whimsical thought for their mutual amusement. For one thing, most of the time, their husbands were sitting right there listening to what their wife was saying (and none of the husbands seemed to take the wives seriously), and anyway most of those women seemed like they were fairly happily married already.

 

Sometimes, I'll meet an everyday Thai woman, be it a Lotus clerk, a mushroom vendor, a bank teller, a shop girl, whatever, and there appears to be a spark of physical attraction there, but more often that not it's just batting eyes at one another. Checking around, they're married, or have a boyfriend or have kids. In the real world, away from the bright lights of the "entertainment centers," all the good ones seem to be already taken. Put another way, these days, I could probably do better back home if I had to.

 

Then there's the problem of where do you meet these women. Determined to find a wholesome, college educated, English speaking Thai woman without any children, who has job skills which she can use to at least pull her own weight back in Australia, where do you look? You're obviously not going to look for a "non-bar" girl in a bar, right? These dating websites aimed at foreign men, by most accounts, have a sizable percentage of women who are on the prowl for one thing or another. Sorting through who is and isn't for real isn't going to happen overnight. It's going to take a lot of Skyping, and first dates. So where do you go to meet these women? Some have reported meeting their future spouses through the workplace. That sounds like a pretty good strategy to me. Plenty of time to get to know one another casually. A chance to talk to other people who already know her. But if that's not an option, what do you do? Walk the streets trying to make eye contact? Loiter around Bangkok universities? Shopping malls? Night clubs? Maybe. I never had much luck doing that myself. Do you pick a small town, maybe by the beach, and try and pick up a bank teller, an immigration officer, a waitress, the front desk clerk at your hotel, your Thai language school teacher? Do you imagine, with Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" playing in the background, some gainfully employed woman is going to slip off her apron, grab your hand and run off with you to Koh Chang, risking humiliation in front of her family and friends when it turns out she was just a holiday fling for some pale face? Sorry, despite what some here would have you believe, it doesn't work that way.

 

About two years ago I read an article about how Thailand's demographics were changing. The gist of the article was that thirty years ago there were a lot more young women available than there are nowadays. Also Thailand is getting older, rapidly. An interesting observation I've made in recent years, is that in many Thai-Thai relationships, the Thai man is comparatively (based on attractiveness norms) more attractive than the Thai woman. In other words, Thai men don't appear to have as endless a bevy of beauty pageant contestants to choose from when selecting a spouse as they may have had in the past.

 

Bottom line: In my opinion, coming to Thailand with the express purpose of trying to find a wife is a bad idea. Sorry if this sounds negative, but it's my honest assessment, and I'm just answering the question the OP posed.

 

 

Nope. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.  

[Iamtoofat]

37 minutes ago, Here It Is said:

As with most things in life you either get lucky or you don't.  We all believe we can read the signs but we're mere mortals and with that, invariably error-prone.

 

I met a lady on a Thai dating website and have been happily married for seven years.  She's now a citizen of my home country and has two passports, which makes life a lot easier as we can go where the hell we like.

 

We look after mom and pop but nothing heavy, just that they have a better life than what they had before.

 

I'm not too sure of the OPs motives to be honest as he seems to be looking for some compartmentalised version of what he thinks he can achieve rather than what he'll achieve.  My advice is just to go with the flow and hope for the best. 

Sorry, misread your post, yes I am looking for a replacement of what I want in Australia but in Thai form. I am not good enough to get a decent girlfriend here, so I thought the game might be easier there. Decent doesn't mean young and sexy by the way. If I wanted that... . .. it's Thailand... not hard to find. 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Iamtoofat

[Iamtoofat]

8 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

 

"What would Thai women think of a foreigner coming to Thailand to find a wife or girlfriend to bring back to Australia ?"

 

Yeah okay, fair point, I get it, I'm a big dumb dumb. Can't blame a guy for having hope. 

[scorecard]

7 hours ago, Iamtoofat said:

 

I understand that rightly or wrongly, on some level, many women expect the man to be able to provide. I am fine with that as long as I am not being used. As I said I am not interested in an exchange of money for companionship. 

 

I am 35, I earn okay money (about 90k AUD pa). I don't own a house. I could probably buy an apartment, or a house far from the city. With a partner earning a reasonable income we could definitely, but renting is better. Housing in Australia is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I have no idea what housing is like in Thailand. 

 

The whole point of going to Thailand is to find someone to build a life with. If she is going to free load off me and expect me to be a financial bonus for her then there is literally no point. I feel foolish asking these kind of questions, but if there is some chance I could find a genuine partner, its worth a shot. I am not getting any younger ! 

 

 

 

Seems to me pretty much everything mentioned in this thread could be in any country in the world.

 

Thailand has it's own 'flavor', so does every other country.

 

Nobody can give anybody specific answers to the various questions posed in this (any many repeat) threads.

 

The question of money can be in any country. Many western men have met western gold digger females and many know men who have gold digger wives who have no hesitation to openly dig for more gold. And you can reverse the genders too. It happens in every country. 

 

Finding a good woman / man and enjoying a long-term happy and successful  relationship is not easy in any country.

 

Somewhere along the way we all meet people and get acquainted, sometimes it looks good, sometimes we back away quick smart, same in every country. Trial and error.

Edited June 12, 2017 by scorecard

[jeab1980]

19 minutes ago, Iamtoofat said:

Yeah okay, fair point, I get it, I'm a big dumb dumb. Can't blame a guy for having hope. 

Nothing whatsoever against you my friend good luck in fact. I was pointing out the header for thread. Recipe for disaster asking that sort of question on here. Plus never ever put yourself down for any reason, enough people will try to do that for you on here. I appologise for the spam flag looking back i should have explained it was about the header.

Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My advise come on holiday for a couple of weeks and see how things go. 

Edited June 12, 2017 by jeab1980

[Here It Is]

21 minutes ago, Iamtoofat said:

Sorry, misread your post, yes I am looking for a replacement of what I want in Australia but in Thai form. I am not good enough to get a decent girlfriend here, so I thought the game might be easier there. Decent doesn't mean young and sexy by the way. If I wanted that... . .. it's Thailand... not hard to find. 

Didn't understand a word of that.  Sorry.  

 

Though, if I understand what I think you said, then you're doomed wherever you go.

 

 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Here It Is

[whatawonderfulday]

8 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

Seems to me pretty much everything mentioned in this thread could be in any country in the world.

 

Thailand has it's own 'flavor', so does every other country.

 

Nobody can give anybody specific answers to the various questions posed in this (any many repeat) threads.

 

The question of money can be in any country. Many western men have met western gold digger females and many know men who have gold digger wives who have no hesitation to openly dig for more gold. And you can reverse the genders too. It happens in every country. 

 

Finding a good woman / man and enjoying a long-term happy and successful  relationship is not easy in any country.

 

Somewhere along the way we all meet people and get acquainted, sometimes it looks good, sometimes we back away quick smart, same in every country. Trial and error.

And sometimes many people, me included, never learn their lessons, irrespective of whether it is English, French or Thai wives involved. That is why, us with experience,  can honestly say it is not just a Thai phenomena

[Iamtoofat]

1 minute ago, Here It Is said:

Didn't understand a word of that.  Sorry.  

I didn't understand your post either, seems we're communicating well. 

[Here It Is]

2 minutes ago, Iamtoofat said:

I didn't understand your post either, seems we're communicating well. 

I edited my post so have a look back if you so wish.  Not exactly edited, but added a second sentence.

 

Good luck and my last comment in this thread as I believe your attitude is off the wall.

 

 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Here It Is

[The Dark Lord]

40 minutes ago, Iamtoofat said:

Yeah okay, fair point, I get it, I'm a big dumb dumb. Can't blame a guy for having hope. 

Oh don't take that chap too seriously he thrives off being negative in my experience. 

 

I wd suggest as others have,  trip through Phils, Vietnam. Avoid laos and thai possibly Cambodia cannot comment on china but Koran girls whilst stunningly beautiful can be obsessively jealous. Japanese ladies make excellent wives too. 

 

My advice is dont rush it. 

[wgdanson]

8 hours ago, rijb said:

Like any other country, Thailand has many decent women.  Some of them are also bar girls.

 

The difficulty is how to 'separate the wheat from the chaff'.  You'll get lots of advice.  But, eventually you'll just have to jump in the water and see for yourself.

 

Or the wheat from the chuff in some cases!

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Thailand is slowly becoming an industrialized country.

 

Some women will happy to move and some will very miserable. The ones that will be miserable are the ones who started a career here and yet don't understand that money in other countries doesn't grow on trees. 

 

Also, Thais are social beings. You try to bring them to a miserable country like Australia and Canada and get ready for years of headache. 

 

Up to you is really is the answer. 

 

As for what Thai women think of a foreigner coming to Thailand to get a bride that should really be the least of your concerns. They could care less. 

 

 

 

 

[jeab1980]

16 minutes ago, The Dark Lord said:

Oh don't take that chap too seriously he thrives off being negative in my experience. 

 

I wd suggest as others have,  trip through Phils, Vietnam. Avoid laos and thai possibly Cambodia cannot comment on china but Koran girls whilst stunningly beautiful can be obsessively jealous. Japanese ladies make excellent wives too. 

 

My advice is dont rush it. 

 me negative lol kettle pot black springs to mind. Try reading the whole thread matey it might open your eyes or are you just stalking me. Sorry to disappoint happily married.  Not gay in the least.

[falkirk]

13 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Thailand is slowly becoming an industrialized country.

 

Some women will happy to move and some will very miserable. The ones that will be miserable are the ones who started a career here and yet don't understand that money in other countries doesn't grow on trees. 

 

Also, Thais are social beings. You try to bring them to a miserable country like Australia and Canada and get ready for years of headache. 

 

Up to you is really is the answer. 

 

As for what Thai women think of a foreigner coming to Thailand to get a bride that should really be the least of your concerns. They could care less. 

 

 

 

 

Indeed, Australia and Canada are miserable countries, but of course much more desirable than some other awful countries such as the USA.

[esprit]

Maybe if he has a huge bank balance and is hung like a donkey then it may well prove the way to go

[Here It Is]

1 hour ago, Iamtoofat said:

Sorry, misread your post, yes I am looking for a replacement of what I want in Australia but in Thai form. I am not good enough to get a decent girlfriend here, so I thought the game might be easier there. Decent doesn't mean young and sexy by the way. If I wanted that... . .. it's Thailand... not hard to find. 

Troll OP and something very wrong him.  

 

I've read this thread from start to finish and the above statement confirms my understanding.  

 

In my considered opinion the OP believes Thai ladies will take any falang on offer as they're somehow needy.  

 

He's also a newbie so no surprise.

[Iamtoofat]

Just now, Here It Is said:

Troll OP and something very wrong him.  

 

I've read this thread from start to finish and the above statement confirms my understanding.  

 

In my considered opinion the OP believes Thai ladies will take any falang on offer as they're somehow needy.  

 

He's also a newbie so no surprise.

Mate, I don't know what your problem is but if you don't like me can you  please just go away ? Yes, there is something very wrong with me. If you're so wonderful and great how about you just take your wonderful and perfect self and leave us broken people to sort ourselves out.

 

 

[Here It Is]

1 hour ago, Iamtoofat said:

... . .. it's Thailand... not hard to find. 

Sorry but you're busted.

[binjalin]

Thai Rak Thai because they are 'special' 

 

get used to it we are tolerated only but if the 'reward' is enough they will bend for you but not break

[Peterw42]

OP, all things being equal, I think you will have more luck finding a partner in Thailand than Australia.

 

There are lots of Thai girls, I don't know if its reflected in population statistics but there always seems to be lots of girls in general, everywhere. And lots of them are often single.

 

In the main, most are attractive to very attractive. Mostly they look younger than their age and are mostly slim.

 

Thai girls are practical and pragmatic when it comes to a partner, often security, trust, personality, faithfulness etc are more important qualities than Brad Pitt looks or alpha male traits.

 

Thailand has a respect for elders culture, also, to a point, a culture of a wife's job is to take care of a husband, cook clean etc, and the husbands job is to take care of the wife financially. Yes its old school compared to the west but it can provide the grounds for a great relationship. You can abuse that relationship and just have a maid that you have sex with, or she can abuse that relationship and treat you as an ATM she has sex with. But the middle ground can be great and mutually beneficial.

 

Thai women are not subservient, but do have, what would be considered in the west, more traditional views of a relationship. If you add a little of the western equality, do some cooking and cleaning etc and she has a job and brings in money, it works great.

 

 

 

.

 

 

[binjalin]

59 minutes ago, Iamtoofat said:

I didn't understand your post either, seems we're communicating well. 

You're saying you cannot get a girl in Aus so you are coming here to find one? I guess many do that but I'd advise working on your esteem and game not just changing to an 'easier' country. Unless you have money you are no use to a Thai - sorry. If you have money but are a failure with relationships back 'home' then that's what you will be here and the compensation will be you being the 'provider'. Don't worry this works for very many farangs and they are perfectly happy with this.

[Peterw42]

14 minutes ago, binjalin said:

You're saying you cannot get a girl in Aus so you are coming here to find one? I guess many do that but I'd advise working on your esteem and game not just changing to an 'easier' country. Unless you have money you are no use to a Thai - sorry. If you have money but are a failure with relationships back 'home' then that's what you will be here and the compensation will be you being the 'provider'. Don't worry this works for very many farangs and they are perfectly happy with this.

Maybe its only Australian girls and relationships the OP fails with, I know I get on better with Thai girls and have better relationships here. Lots of guys find Thai girls more agreeable for a relationship.

The money thing is universal, try meeting a girl in Australia and tell her you are unemployed and live with your mum, that should work.

[Tofer]

Why in particular are you looking for a Thai wife, what is it that you are expecting from her that you cannot attain in a relationship with any other nationality, even Australian?

[Here It Is]

 

4 minutes ago, Tofer said:

Why in particular are you looking for a Thai wife, what is it that you are expecting from her that you cannot attain in a relationship with any other nationality, even Australian?

2 hours ago, Iamtoofat said:

... . .. it's Thailand... not hard to find. 

Presumed ease of access.

[observer90210]

Look at it this way. If you as a farang make say US$ 6'000,-- or US$ 7'000,-- a month in pension or whatever and your new thai girlie makes US$ 100,-- or US$ 200,-- per month, definately make her participate in expenses, but obviously make it proportionate and symbolic!!

 

If she asks money to support the family, put on your Nikies, turn your heels up and flee!

If each time you walk in a Bankgkok Mall she pulls you into every shop and expects you to finance her shopping spree - flee!!!

If she already has kids - flee!

Make sure she cooks, cleans and gives you good sex!

Never...never put any property or possessions in her name...never!!

Do not forger to make a STD/HIV medical tests before deeper explorations, uncovered!!!!

Make sure she does not have a hidden husband, kids in some lovely, wonderful remote village!

If her family gets over intruisive and starts practically to squat in your home, treat the family with respect, but make it clear to your girlie that you also need your intimate moments with her. If she cares for you, this should not be a problem!

Respect her Thai culture, food and country and see that she also respect's yours!

Never tell her really how much you earn each month!!

Make it clear that if you pass away, your notorised will with a thai attortney stipulates all your possessions/money will go to a member of your family. This will avoid temptations to bump you off in order to hit the jackpot. Never take life insurance in your name, making her the beneficiairy in case you pass away!

 

And btw, such rules do not apply only for Thai ladies but for any woman from any country in the world. Use common sense pal!!...if you're paying your way to keep the girl, there is definately something wrong. Now, many folks would say it's normal to pay for her family...Am I paranoid with all the above precautions? Who am I to make judgement?....You are free to accept or not, but on the whole, any relationship involving money to finance the girl or her family (your money that is), is a fishy and risky venture! ...Good luck on your quest and enjoy Thailand!

Edited June 12, 2017 by observer90210

[owl sees all]

To return to the topic for a moment; "What would Thai women think of a foreigner coming to Thailand to find a wife or girlfriend to bring back to Australia?" Many would say "Good on yer, I'm over here sport!  and "where is the front of the queue".

Edited June 12, 2017 by owl sees all
inappropriate content

[bazza73]

Sorry OP, but you are wasting your time if you think you can get a Thai woman to live happily in OZ. They will pine away without access to family and friends. LINE and Facebook won't cut it.

Filipinas might be better for you; however, they have a well-deserved reputation as gold-diggers. As do some Thais.

I would suggest you holiday here for an extended period, renting both accommodation and companionship. Then you'll learn more about the Thai devotion to family.

Don't rush into anything. The golden rule is don't put anything into Thailand you are not prepared to lose. Keep at least 80% of your assets in Oz.

It's possible to live in Thailand very well. However, you have to learn the ropes first.

[Here It Is]

1 minute ago, bazza73 said:

Sorry OP, but you are wasting your time if you think you can get a Thai woman to live happily in OZ. They will pine away without access to family and friends. LINE and Facebook won't cut it.

I know many Thais, including my wife, who live abroad, so can't agree on your statement.

 

With regards the OP, though, I don't trust him and suspect he's trolling. 

[bazza73]

Just now, Here It Is said:

I know many Thais, including my wife, who live abroad, so can't agree on your statement.

 

With regards the OP, though, I don't trust him and suspect he's trolling. 

You may be right. It really depends on the strength of the family bonds, and the network of friends. After taking my Thai GF to Australia, neither of us would want to go back there long term, even though she enjoyed it.

 

Trolling? I suppose I could be accused of that occasionally.

[binjalin]

44 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

Maybe its only Australian girls and relationships the OP fails with, I know I get on better with Thai girls and have better relationships here. Lots of guys find Thai girls more agreeable for a relationship.

The money thing is universal, try meeting a girl in Australia and tell her you are unemployed and live with your mum, that should work.

Yea but they aren't normally 20 years + younger and often 25/30 so that HUGE age gap is made more 'agreeable', as you put it, through money  AKA  'looking after' or 'security'.

Edited June 12, 2017 by binjalin