I want to move my wife and baby to a new area of Thailand away from her thai family

[chuang]

Your wife earning good money  and you low pay.....if you re-locate would your wife still be able earning good money... else can you support the family..this is only one of many issues...

[wildewillie89]

15 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Read the post, my friend, he says he is on low pay. I live in a village and i know that the power of money is a real advantage. My wife's two sisters live either side of us. I often have a little party for them, or take us all out for a meal to the local fish restaurant. I do them  favours but i never lend them money. My sisters husband's drill broke, so i bought him a new one. I built some wardrobes for the other sister. Its called being the good brother in law. The matriarch of the whole family will not have a thing said against me. Thats called having the power of purchase.If  a felang has no purchase power, it is considered a weakness, and he loses face within the family circle.For what i spend, which is nothing to me, i get a lot of cudos in return, and it makes my wife feel good. Now tell me that doesnt matter, and i will call you a fool. I still say, beware the brother.

I really wonder what type of family you live in if you think if a farang has no 'power of purchase', then he must be seen as a 'weakness' or 'lose face' within the family context. What are you saying, if you stop buying them gifts they will talk bad about you? Or leave you? Yes, maybe you are right in a societal context - depending what 'class' or what 'morals' a group has who is discussing it, but a family context....really?

All you have to do is show some interest in the family and show that you care. Stand up when you need to. No way does that mean gifts/taking them out. For instance I had a massive fight with my work Director due to his family and my family clashing (both big opposing family names in the nearby city) - but I stood up for my family (risked my job).  If the family is super poor, yeah they may go for this gift giving thing, but even minimal wage jobs/no jobs have never acted that way with me. It definitely has no 'weak'/'lose face' conditions attached to it though. That is just marrying for money (gifts) if you believe that - which many families may do, but calling people 'fools' for actually gaining some real respect is a bit ridiculous lol.

A good family will just see that you made the effort to live in a third world country, rather than a first, and did that for them - rather than take their girl away from them, and they should not expect anything else after that. The wife of the District Office Director also told my wife this when we got our certificate, that you should not even expect him to work. Of course I do. But the point is the way things are done depends on what you marry into. My family on our first meeting told me they will never ask for money, or expect me to help if shit hits the fan financially, as if it does hit the fan it is because they have made silly decisions, so it is their own responsibility. The most I have bought them was 50  baht flowers on the mother in law birthday...and went halves in a car cleaning kit for the father's birthday.

Power of purchase in a family context....are you sure your family is not more of a business than family? Like a company giving incentives lol. If you are seen as 'weak', then hasn't the family just basically married you for some gift, rather than you? Which is completely fine, we all speak different languages of love if you like, but don't try and categorise all Thai 'villages' as being like that and then calling others 'fools', because you married into something that some may disagree with on moral grounds.

Edited June 22, 2017 by wildewillie89

[Khon Kaen Dave]

14 hours ago, jenifer d said:

umm, as it says just below my picture, i live in Lanta; i have never even visited Samui, nor would i...

i am a published author who also professionally edits manuscripts from other authors for my publisher;

since i am not so distantly related to 2 of the last 5 US presidents, i was raised to NOT show off my class and breeding,

and was imbued constantly with the fact that "every person, every life, is a book- don't judge the book by its cover, read the story"-

i have no need to live a luxurious lifestyle or to "show off", and i am equally at home hanging out with a governor, big police, mayor,

kamnan, mafia chief, laborer w/dirt shack, street food seller, drug dealer, kratom partiers, and anybody and everybody in between

 

so, since we know that you can't be bothered to read, (for, indeed, in other posts- even recently- i have stated my Thai nickname)

so sorry that you feel so guilty about not speaking or reading or writing Thai (as well anybody who lives here should),

or about your only having Thais hang out with you when you're buying- i am never expected to pay for anything anywhere 

here that i am invited to go, unless you count the obligatory pulling out my guitar and singing for everybody as all join in,

and welcoming an and all comers to sing/play/jam with me...

And this is going native is it? Come to my village and see real Thais and how they live. Some of these people have nothing, but they scrimp and they feed their kids. Thats Native. Any way i am done with this. You live in a plastic world, god forbid if you ever have to make a real decision. And as the other poster said. A cure for cancer would be great if you have the time.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

6 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

I really wonder what type of family you live in if you think if a farang has no 'power of purchase', then he must be seen as a 'weakness' or 'lose face' within the family context. What are you saying, if you stop buying them gifts they will talk bad about you? Or leave you? Yes, maybe you are right in a societal context - depending what 'class' or what 'morals' a group has who is discussing it, but a family context....really?

All you have to do is show some interest in the family and show that you care. Stand up when you need to. No way does that mean gifts/taking them out. For instance I had a massive fight with my work Director due to his family and my family clashing (both big opposing family names in the nearby city) - but I stood up for my family (risked my job).  If the family is super poor, yeah they may go for this gift giving thing, but even minimal wage jobs/no jobs have never acted that way with me. It definitely has no 'weak'/'lose face' conditions attached to it though. That is just marrying for money (gifts) if you believe that - which many families may do, but calling people 'fools' for actually gaining some real respect is a bit ridiculous lol.

A good family will just see that you made the effort to live in a third world country, rather than a first, and did that for them - rather than take their girl away from them, and they should not expect anything else after that. The wife of the District Office Director also told my wife this when we got our certificate, that you should not even expect him to work. Of course I do. But the point is the way things are done depends on what you marry into. My family on our first meeting told me they will never ask for money, or expect me to help if shit hits the fan financially, as if it does hit the fan it is because they have made silly decisions, so it is their own responsibility. The most I have bought them was 50  baht flowers on the mother in law birthday...and went halves in a car cleaning kit for the father's birthday.

Power of purchase in a family context....are you sure your family is not more of a business than family? Like a company giving incentives lol. If you are seen as 'weak', then hasn't the family just basically married you for some gift, rather than you? Which is completely fine, we all speak different languages of love if you like, but don't try and categorise all Thai 'villages' as being like that and then calling others 'fools', because you married into something that some may disagree with on moral grounds.

What village do you live in? if at all. You are painting fantasy assumptions in your own mind, if the above load of rubbish is anything to go by.Unless you are a villager, you have no idea of how much respect you can get by a simple action. I dont buy them gifts, or lend them money. My MIL is 77, i treat her well. I give her 2000b a month, that allows her to do what she wants. She is active and goes out and buys her own food and even takes the bloody dog for a walk. She helps her friends who have nothing. She thinks her SIL is Felag dee jai dee mach mach. Is that a problem for you. I like to make her life a bit better, is that wrong. As for the gift of a drill to my BIL, why is that a problem. Is it a problem for you that i take 10 or so kids down to the lake and feed them once a month. Again, a problem for you? Having building experience i also help with laying drains and tiling shower rooms, Free, A problem for you?  I built some wardrobes  in our house and the wifes sisters house, Problem?  So what are the moral grounds that i am conflicting with.

It is up to me how i treat my family and those around us. I suggest that you mind your own business until you can come up with something worth reading

[joecoolfrog]

16 hours ago, scorecard said:

 

hope that doesn't mean Pattaya or Phuket.

Phuket is vastly overdeveloped but it is a big Island and still has some nice spots , I would take it any time rather than an Isaan dustbowl village.

Frankly a lot of members ( not all ) talk nonsense about the island and I suspect would love to live there if they could afford it. Not having a dig at you in any way , just a general reflection on what I consider to be an unfair stereotype.

[ghworker2010]

17 minutes ago, joecoolfrog said:

Phuket is vastly overdeveloped but it is a big Island and still has some nice spots , I would take it any time rather than an Isaan dustbowl village.

Frankly a lot of members ( not all ) talk nonsense about the island and I suspect would love to live there if they could afford it. Not having a dig at you in any way , just a general reflection on what I consider to be an unfair stereotype.

You couldn't pay me to live in Phfucket. Its full of Thailands worst low life aggressive thais. I would rather live in Issan than that hole anyday because the people are better. There are so many better locations than ugly Phuket

[wildewillie89]

2 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

What village do you live in? if at all. You are painting fantasy assumptions in your own mind, if the above load of rubbish is anything to go by.Unless you are a villager, you have no idea of how much respect you can get by a simple action. I dont buy them gifts, or lend them money. My MIL is 77, i treat her well. I give her 2000b a month, that allows her to do what she wants. She is active and goes out and buys her own food and even takes the bloody dog for a walk. She helps her friends who have nothing. She thinks her SIL is Felag dee jai dee mach mach. Is that a problem for you. I like to make her life a bit better, is that wrong. As for the gift of a drill to my BIL, why is that a problem. Is it a problem for you that i take 10 or so kids down to the lake and feed them once a month. Again, a problem for you? Having building experience i also help with laying drains and tiling shower rooms, Free, A problem for you?  I built some wardrobes  in our house and the wifes sisters house, Problem?  So what are the moral grounds that i am conflicting with.

It is up to me how i treat my family and those around us. I suggest that you mind your own business until you can come up with something worth reading

I don't get your point about the mother-in-law, most great grandmothers even do that (although maybe she is of that age - I obviously wouldn't know). If she is, and is living in a rural village, then that is the majority, not the minority. My grandmother-in-law at 85 still farms bananas and beans everyday for example. She walks from the farm to our house regularly because she likes checking up on our bananas.

I think you are referring to the fact that due to their being only a very small pension for many, Thai families look after each other. Many educated/salary paid Thai girls however, will tell you that is their responsibility, we feel proud to work hard to do that. We understand you have a different culture, and we understand you don't do that in your culture as you have bigger pensions.....You doing it is 100% okay also. but don't give the 'weakness', 'loss of face' crap if someone doesn't do it as the parents do get big pensions (work/worked for government), or the children earn their way through life to pay the parents.  

My father-in-law was a poor village kid who was denied high school by his father (instead forced work). He went to the high school himself and asked for a scholarship (as father refused to pay). He got it, ended up being a Colonel in the Army (sent all his money back to educate his siblings). He then took very early retirement in terms of Thai (receives monthly pension), and gets his salary on top of that as being the current Mayor. 

I live in a village of roughly 1,000 people. Within the  Tessaban there are 6 similar sized villages. It is a rural city, with my village being within 5kms from the bigger city Tessaban. Technically I am located in the 'city', but a different Tessaban (if you can comprehend that). As it is a rural village the average salary of those who do in fact work would be 5-6,000 baht (as not all are being paid minimum wage). The farming families would obviously be on less  than that. Obviously you have your small minority that work for the government/made it in a company on a lot more than that. The general make up of most villages i think around the country. 

Within my family I have people who made it in the government and private companies. But i also have people who are on the 6,000 a month, or less, or nothing. I do not give them gifts. Do the family still respect me? Yes. Do the village people? Also yes. I had a vote changed last month on whether they bother painting safety lines on the road. Initially it was a no vote, but was changed to a yes vote once the meeting read out the evidence i gave to the politicians from the W.H.O (as elected politicians have to vote yes for things to be passed through Tessaban). If i was seen as 'weakness' then surely a Thai village would not bother even accepting the research that I presented to them (as most of the village and politicians are related in some way or another to me - like in many Thai villages - families stick together). Respect came in the form of education, not opening my wallet. Respect comes in the form of how I raise my child, not opening my wallet. 

I have no problems at all with any of the gifts/giving money (obviously you misinterpreted). That is completely up to you. Many people do it wherever they go in the world, who cares. What the problem is, is the belief you have if you do or do not give gifts. That is almost directly implying that if you don't give gifts then the family see no use to the daughter being with you (as you are seen as a 'weakness' or 'loss of face'). Which is just not true at all. Not in this generation anyway. When I used to date, some girls would say I, personally, have to help out, others would say it is the girls responsibility, the family will not expect anything. If what you say is true in the older generation then you should stipulate that, or say it is your opinion on observation on your family. As clearly it is not a belief in my village, no weakness or loss of face when I don't give gifts (so it cannot be the norm around the country).  

I understand the fact that my father-in-law is the Mayor, my wife is Director of Public Health and uncle Boss of Police in the big city near our village. So they are all on good salaries within the context of the geographic location. However, regardless of that, your assumption is directed at mostly singled out sections of the community. Which is after all just an assumption, but you must say this assumption is directed at this section of the community. Other uncles/auntie/sister/brothers/whatever, are not on not so good salaries and still I am respected. So what you cannot do, is call people 'fools' who disagree with it, just shows that you have not entered other sections of the Thai community, or maybe the section of the Thai community you are talking about has its moral and immoral depending on what life they want to live.

You don't have to read my rubbish, I really couldn't care less - I just have free time at work to show assumptions are not always facts. Seems you live in a very small bubble of a business...i mean family. 

Edited June 22, 2017 by wildewillie89

[FritsSikkink]

Best to look for a job in that area for the both of you first.

[jeab1980]

2 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

What village do you live in? if at all. You are painting fantasy assumptions in your own mind, if the above load of rubbish is anything to go by.Unless you are a villager, you have no idea of how much respect you can get by a simple action. I dont buy them gifts, or lend them money. My MIL is 77, i treat her well. I give her 2000b a month, that allows her to do what she wants. She is active and goes out and buys her own food and even takes the bloody dog for a walk. She helps her friends who have nothing. She thinks her SIL is Felag dee jai dee mach mach. Is that a problem for you. I like to make her life a bit better, is that wrong. As for the gift of a drill to my BIL, why is that a problem. Is it a problem for you that i take 10 or so kids down to the lake and feed them once a month. Again, a problem for you? Having building experience i also help with laying drains and tiling shower rooms, Free, A problem for you?  I built some wardrobes  in our house and the wifes sisters house, Problem?  So what are the moral grounds that i am conflicting with.

It is up to me how i treat my family and those around us. I suggest that you mind your own business until you can come up with something worth reading

And if i may i would suggest you to mind your own buisness about how other people like to live there lifes in Thailand without comming across as look at me i have power. As you do. Just saying its good advise for all. Look after yourself but dont criticise others that dont abide by your rules

[Mister T]

I lived in Isaan for 6 years, married a top lady who ran a restaurant with her two sisters. Three years ago we moved to the coast and were both happy with the different lifestyle. Wife visited our family each Songkran and they visited us from time to time. We are now seriously considering moving back, the family and villagers actually make us feel better than having the beach and access to foreigner things. Wife says if I miss the beach and my foreign friends, I can come visit anytime I need. Would suggest the same to the OP, keep the roots and the family, have getaways together or solo.

 

[jeab1980]

Lived 5 mins walk away from sandy beach when in home country. Did i ever use the beach NO. Beaches are for holidays home is better than a beach any day.

As for swiming in sea mind the other turds wont you.

Edited June 22, 2017 by jeab1980

[Khon Kaen Dave]

4 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

And if i may i would suggest you to mind your own buisness about how other people like to live there lifes in Thailand without comming across as look at me i have power. As you do. Just saying its good advise for all. Look after yourself but dont criticise others that dont abide by your rules

I dont advise any body how to live their lives. I dont care how other people live their lives. I am quite happy living my life the way i like. I really dont see that its any of your business how i live. If you dont like my way of life, dont read or answer my posts. Your insecurities are your own problem.

[Retiredandhappyhere]

As your wife appears to be the main bread-winner with a good career and would clearly miss her family if you moved away "to the sea", I think you should stay where you are.  Your family could be worse off if your wife could not find such a well-paid position and she would undoubtedly, as a poster suggested, want to visit her family often, either with you or alone, in addition to which they might want to stay with you occasionally, which could present accommodation problems.  

 

Living near the sea always sounds great but many people who do so, rarely visit the beach after the initial attraction wears off and most would not want to swim in the heavily polluted waters in some locations.  I would advise that you confine yourself to occasional visits to beach resorts for holidays etc. and keep your wife happily living close to her family and present job.  If she were to end up by moving to a less satisfying job and to missing her family terribly, she would always tend to blame you for what she might consider as your selfish action in "making" her move.

 

I developed a good career in the UK and my wife, two kids and I enjoyed a pretty good relationship and lifestyle, but that did not prevent her going off with a guy she had only known for a few months after 37 years of marriage, with the excuse that I "worked too hard", even though for the last 22 years I worked from home. It was no consolation to me at all, when after two years, the divorce and the equal division of the proceeds of all our assets, including our home and my business and future pensions, she wanted to return as she had "made a terrible mistake".  This is, of course, nothing like your own position, but it does illustrate how easily you can be blamed for trying to do what you believe is best for your family.

 

[ghworker2010]

7 minutes ago, Retiredandhappyhere said:

As your wife appears to be the main bread-winner with a good career and would clearly miss her family if you moved away "to the sea", I think you should stay where you are.  Your family could be worse off if your wife could not find such a well-paid position and she would undoubtedly, as a poster suggested, want to visit her family often, either with you or alone, in addition to which they might want to stay with you occasionally, which could present accommodation problems.  

 

Living near the sea always sounds great but many people who do so, rarely visit the beach after the initial attraction wears off and most would not want to swim in the heavily polluted waters in some locations.  I would advise that you confine yourself to occasional visits to beach resorts for holidays etc. and keep your wife happily living close to her family and present job.  If she were to end up by moving to a less satisfying job and to missing her family terribly, she would always tend to blame you for what she might consider as your selfish action in "making" her move.

 

I developed a good career in the UK and my wife, two kids and I enjoyed a pretty good relationship and lifestyle, but that did not prevent her going off with a guy she had only known for a few months after 37 years of marriage, with the excuse that I "worked too hard", even though for the last 22 years I worked from home. It was no consolation to me at all, when after two years, the divorce and the equal division of the proceeds of all our assets, including our home and my business and future pensions, she wanted to return as she had "made a terrible mistake".  This is, of course, nothing like your own position, but it does illustrate how easily you can be blamed for trying to do what you believe is best for your family.

 

thats a good story. did you take her back? i hope not

[Khon Kaen Dave]

9 minutes ago, Retiredandhappyhere said:

As your wife appears to be the main bread-winner with a good career and would clearly miss her family if you moved away "to the sea", I think you should stay where you are.  Your family could be worse off if your wife could not find such a well-paid position and she would undoubtedly, as a poster suggested, want to visit her family often, either with you or alone, in addition to which they might want to stay with you occasionally, which could present accommodation problems.  

 

Living near the sea always sounds great but many people who do so, rarely visit the beach after the initial attraction wears off and most would not want to swim in the heavily polluted waters in some locations.  I would advise that you confine yourself to occasional visits to beach resorts for holidays etc. and keep your wife happily living close to her family and present job.  If she were to end up by moving to a less satisfying job and to missing her family terribly, she would always tend to blame you for what she might consider as your selfish action in "making" her move.

 

I developed a good career in the UK and my wife, two kids and I enjoyed a pretty good relationship and lifestyle, but that did not prevent her going off with a guy she had only known for a few months after 37 years of marriage, with the excuse that I "worked too hard", even though for the last 22 years I worked from home. It was no consolation to me at all, when after two years, the divorce and the equal division of the proceeds of all our assets, including our home and my business and future pensions, she wanted to return as she had "made a terrible mistake".  This is, of course, nothing like your own position, but it does illustrate how easily you can be blamed for trying to do what you believe is best for your family.

 

I read your post, and i have the upmost  sympathy. It must have taken some getting over. For some weaker men, there would have been another alternative. You must have had to be very strong and i feel your pain.

As for living by the sea, the7/8 years i lived in Patts, i think i went to the beach a handful of times. After a while it was like, i never went there, but it was good just knowing it was there.

[Rc2702]

1 minute ago, ghworker2010 said:

thats a good story. did you take her back? i hope not

What's the story GHW what's brought this on? Gis a bit of background maybe there's a solution in all of this eh eh?

 

1. What actions or words or instances have you put up with from her brother?

 

2. Besides her brother are you happy in the family environment?

 

3. How long you been together and how long in isan? 

 

What about a job change or some other change or even just moving house locally and putting a bit of a boundary up?

 

 

[Retiredandhappyhere]

1 minute ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

I read your post, and i have the upmost  sympathy. It must have taken some getting over. For some weaker men, there would have been another alternative. You must have had to be very strong and i feel your pain.

As for living by the sea, the7/8 years i lived in Patts, i think i went to the beach a handful of times. After a while it was like, i never went there, but it was good just knowing it was there.

I appreciate your comment, Dave.  As I had lost my business, which was my only source of income just a few years from retirement,  I decided to retire to Thailand 13 years ago and, as luck would have it, I have never regretted my decision.  Sadly, my ex-wife died of cancer  7 years ago, so her new husband benefitted from a substantial portion of the earnings from my 45 years of working life, as for some unknown reason, she failed to leave her assets to her two sons as promised.

 

Your experience of living near the sea, which is similar to mine, (living in Hua Hin), reminds me of an aunt of mine who had a beautiful cottage in South Devon in the UK about one km across fields from the sea.  After the first couple of years there, I do not think she saw the beach for the next 25 years, although she did enjoy the revolving light from the nearby lighthouse.

[Dumbastheycome]

22 hours ago, jenifer d said:

umm, as it says just below my picture, i live in Lanta; i have never even visited Samui, nor would i...

i am a published author who also professionally edits manuscripts from other authors for my publisher;

since i am not so distantly related to 2 of the last 5 US presidents, i was raised to NOT show off my class and breeding,

and was imbued constantly with the fact that "every person, every life, is a book- don't judge the book by its cover, read the story"-

i have no need to live a luxurious lifestyle or to "show off", and i am equally at home hanging out with a governor, big police, mayor,

kamnan, mafia chief, laborer w/dirt shack, street food seller, drug dealer, kratom partiers, and anybody and everybody in between

 

so, since we know that you can't be bothered to read, (for, indeed, in other posts- even recently- i have stated my Thai nickname)

so sorry that you feel so guilty about not speaking or reading or writing Thai (as well anybody who lives here should),

or about your only having Thais hang out with you when you're buying- i am never expected to pay for anything anywhere 

here that i am invited to go, unless you count the obligatory pulling out my guitar and singing for everybody as all join in,

and welcoming an and all comers to sing/play/jam with me...

I  am  closely  related  to  other  humans.

Can I use  that fact  to  also  declare  a  rather  illustrious  all encompassing   rapport with  the  charmingly  subservient   natives from an advantaged  position?

Or should  I resign  myself  to the  current  situation  which is  that I  do  not  and  can not  sing  for my supper. 

I cook  it.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

5 minutes ago, Retiredandhappyhere said:

I appreciate your comment, Dave.  As I had lost my business, which was my only source of income just a few years from retirement,  I decided to retire to Thailand 13 years ago and, as luck would have it, I have never regretted my decision.  Sadly, my ex-wife died of cancer  7 years ago, so her new husband benefitted from a substantial portion of the earnings from my 45 years of working life, as for some unknown reason, she failed to leave her assets to her two sons as promised.

 

Your experience of living near the sea, which is similar to mine, (living in Hua Hin), reminds me of an aunt of mine who had a beautiful cottage in South Devon in the UK about one km across fields from the sea.  After the first couple of years there, I do not think she saw the beach for the next 25 years, although she did enjoy the revolving light from the nearby lighthouse.

You must have still loved her. I know i did. I was married to a woman who gave me a daughter. The best thing in my life. Sadly, my wife became unfit, due to alcohol abuse. I divorced her after 10 years, having to do so for the safety of my girl.My wife was a violent, uncontrollable woman. I gave her everything she could want for. We had a beautiful house in the Kent countryside, she had her own car, but she was unstable. When my girl was 6 years old, my wife, assaulted a guy in a pub with a pint glass. I sent her to France, a place in the South, called Aude. The town was Saint Julien de briola.While she was away, i went to a solicitor and took out prohibitive steps orders, injunctions, and all sorts. My solicitor was a woman from a Sidcup office.Anyway she came back from her sisters in France but had to go and live with her parents. The judge was a ' Judge Carrington QC" who later became an order of the Garter, but i digress. I was given sole custody, care and control, with no visitation by my ex.

To cut a long story, a few years later, plod turned up on my door step. The outcome was, that she had married again and her husband had killed her. I was called by his solicitor and went as witness for the defence as i knew what she was like.It went national in the Newspapers at the time. The thing is that i had my daughter for 13years as a single parent. She was my life. But i never stopped loving her mum. Every time i looked at my girl, i saw her. My daughter has proved to be a treasure, she is a Fire fighter, black belt karate, and is at level 2 sign language, and she has never shown any of her mothers traits.You talking about the light house reminded me of a week we stayed in Dover, and we could see the Dungeness light. When it was foggy the fog alarm would sound. I never forget that haunting sound. I still love my ex, I always will. So i know your pain. You say that your wife died of cancer,7 years later. I know the feeling of frustration, of never being to ask my wife, Why?

 I hope that this story has shown you a kindred spirit.

[Goldbear]

Wow Dave, quite the story. Thanks for sharing. I am glad that your daughter is doing great. 

[Khon Kaen Dave]

2 minutes ago, Goldbear said:

Wow Dave, quite the story. Thanks for sharing. I am glad that your daughter is doing great. 

Thanks for that. Its all true. Its even on Google. But for obvious reasons i cant give names. But the husband got 4 for the killing and 4 for perverting the course of justice. Afterwards the jury called the judge back and asked him to reduce the sentence, because after the evidence was heard, they recommended leniency. I was a main witness in the number 1 court at the Bailey. He ended up with 3+3. I like to think i was responsible for that. He went to the max security nick in woolwich. He was there a week and someone striped his face with a blade.

[Rc2702]

58 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Thanks for that. Its all true. Its even on Google. But for obvious reasons i cant give names. But the husband got 4 for the killing and 4 for perverting the course of justice. Afterwards the jury called the judge back and asked him to reduce the sentence, because after the evidence was heard, they recommended leniency. I was a main witness in the number 1 court at the Bailey. He ended up with 3+3. I like to think i was responsible for that. He went to the max security nick in woolwich. He was there a week and someone striped his face with a blade.

Terrible story that but may I ask.

 

Did your evidence contribute to the leniency?

 

If so, did that cause Any friction with your daughter?

 

 

[wildewillie89]

10 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

I dont advise any body how to live their lives. I dont care how other people live their lives. I am quite happy living my life the way i like. I really dont see that its any of your business how i live. If you dont like my way of life, dont read or answer my posts. Your insecurities are your own problem.

According to an incident I had on this forum regarding a user posting my family photos without my permission, anything becomes people's businesses when you discuss it in public (includes users taking info from other websites). If you don't want comments on it, the mods will tell you not to put it out there to be commented on. 

 

You kind of did. You said the way you live your life and then basically called anyone who doesn't agree with that a 'fool'.

 

You then questioned my way of life and also questioned whether or not I actually live in a village as it didn't match your way of life. Why do TV posters always claim someone doesn't live in the place if it doesn't match what can be seen as 'financially negative' things they have to do? Talk about insecurities, you have reached a point where you are actually implying that users must not live in the place as it doesn't fit your incredibly small understanding of how the place works.

 

So, one you do advise, and two, you do care how others live their lives. 

 

Enjoy your day though :).

Edited June 23, 2017 by wildewillie89

[HooHaa]

On 6/21/2017 at 3:37 PM, lopburi3 said:

Not sure why you believe conditions by the sea will be an improvement (for what you mention) - although you might have to use government medical facilities some are very good in larger cities everywhere (and wife works in that field?) - food can be good anywhere but perhaps if you mean western food there would be more choice.  Beach is something most Thai avoid (for good reason - and sun can be pure cancer for western skin).  

 

You only mention one brother - are there other sisters?  If not she will feel a strong obligation to take care of her parents even more.  I would urge you to consider all sides and be sure wife is really up to making such a drastic change.

My my, i pity folk who dont see the appeal of the beach. 

 

I suppose if you have to ask, you will never understand.

[HooHaa]

On 6/21/2017 at 3:26 PM, jerojero said:

Be prepared for her many repeated trips home to visit her family. Eventually she will say it's optional for you to join her, then her visits will become longer and longer, leaving you alone more and more. And finally she'll tell you she's not happy apart from her family and more unhappy than being away from you. All the above may indeed happen, especially that she's financially self sufficient.

 

 

 

Any woman unable to live away from her family to begin a new family simply isnt worth spending a lifetime with. 

 

I dont know about you lot, but i value independence in a mate or even a freind.

[jeab1980]

30 minutes ago, HooHaa said:

 

Any woman unable to live away from her family to begin a new family simply isnt worth spending a lifetime with. 

 

I dont know about you lot, but i value independence in a mate or even a freind.

Is that top sentance a serious observation or just throwing a left ball in?

Re the last sentance makes little sense please explain further.

Edited June 23, 2017 by jeab1980

[HooHaa]

34 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Is that top sentance a serious observation or just throwing a left ball in?

Re the last sentance makes little sense please explain further.

 

No actually, it was a serious comment, truly my opinion.

 

As for the last sentence, i would have thought it was self-explanatory.

 

I value people who are independant. Family and freinds are important, but i value people who are fine on tneir own and choose to be with me out of desire and mutual enjoyment rather than a need to be propped up by others.

[jeab1980]

16 minutes ago, HooHaa said:

 

No actually, it was a serious comment, truly my opinion.

 

As for the last sentence, i would have thought it was self-explanatory.

 

I value people who are independant. Family and freinds are important, but i value people who are fine on tneir own and choose to be with me out of desire and mutual enjoyment rather than a need to be propped up by others.

Thank you explained now not self explanatory in your first post. 

[Rimmer]

A number of flames and baiting posts have been trashed also some replies

[wildewillie89]

2 hours ago, HooHaa said:

 

Any woman unable to live away from her family to begin a new family simply isnt worth spending a lifetime with. 

 

I dont know about you lot, but i value independence in a mate or even a freind.

The fact the woman in  question (OP wife) is happy to consider the thought of moving, then I think she is relatively independent. 

I think there is a fine line between not being independent and families actually being helpful. If the family can look after the kids whilst they both are at work everyday, then that is being helpful. Much safer than a Thai childcare system. However, if the OP and his wife cannot even do their own washing, shopping, everyday tasks without the family, then I would agree with your initial statement (I know of one woman who cannot even go to the shops or visit her son without her mother coming - son lives with the father's family).

Also many other variables as to why someone would not want to move, for example, the OP's wife obviously has a stable career. Will the career be as stable if they move away? Depending on her profession, she may have to pay to move cities, is it really worth it? Not necessarily a case of her not being independent. 

Edited June 23, 2017 by wildewillie89