The poisonous Brother in Law

[totally thaied up]

I had a bit of an experiment with my family recently. It may be a bit long winded this post but I thought it ample for this thread for me to go into it in depth.

 

I think giving people a chance is something we should do if we think the circumstances are right. I suppose that is how I am. I was married in the year 2000 to a Filipino. I bought her to my home country, got her PR after two years and our life looked sweet.

 

I was only 27-28 at the time, met her on Company business in the Philippines. She was a very smart girl, finished her degree at a top university, and we both worked in a similar field.

 

I spent the next four years working for a Major, while she completed a Masters Degree. She was heading for a Ph.D. and beyond. I had lined work up at a Major for her, and she worked for them on contract getting decent money.

 

Now it cost me serious dollars to do this as she was going to a top-tier University. I just had made a multi-million dollar deal, and life for us was going very well. Then a year later the deal fell through. I lost a lot of money as in over a million USD.

 

It was honestly going to take me a few years to get back on the horse after such a blow. I spent on average during that time, huge dollars a year on my wife's education and living. I expected her to kick in to give me a break for a while for me to get started again. I gained employment with a Major a few weeks later, but travel was involved, and I hated it. 

 

My wife went back home to the Philippines the day after getting citizenship only a few weeks later, and she returned pregnant. I cannot have children. Her previous boyfriend was her gik and she had been supporting him behind my back. I was devastated; she told me it was my fault, that now I was just a poor nobody, and that she was divorcing me. From her mouth came the words, ''it will take 10 years for you to get back to where you were before, and I cannot wait that long.''

 

I then fell indisposed as in seriously ill, had a serious breakdown due to a previous disorder that has plagued my life and never really recovered.

 

In other words, she dropped me because I was not an asset anymore in her minds view. Her boyfriend is at the moment, now is an Australian Citizen, and he is reaping the benefit of her at my expense as she is a specialist in her field, and she is raking it in. Anyway, I suppose I did one good thing in my life. Education to me was always important and I gave someone a chance.

 

So anyway, I then threw it all in and came to Thailand.

 

I had visited several times in 1985 at the age of 15-19 and loved the place and I fell in love with Asian girls. I ended up meeting my second wife three years ago. Once again, she was smart and not that much younger than me.

 

She has a serious bike accident at 17 that left her very badly scarred and affected her stomach.   The time at her accident, she was 40kg. She is now 80kg, and it all stems from the damage of that accident (her stomach looks like a gutted cow), and she does not digest food in a normal manner.

 

No Thai guy was ever going to have her due to the extent of her injuries, but she is smart, funny and can just about sell anything. I really like her for who she was; not the looks. Her father was still paying off her private University fees as well as her brothers. It was a good deal of money, and the Chanote was held by the bank for a good deal of lands that they owned. 

 

This land is very valuable, and the bank knew it. I took a gamble and paid off the Chanote; gambled my wife and father-in-law would come to the party on what I set down.

 

During this time, we had many people giving low-ball offers on the land. They offered only 1/4 of the value of the land per Rai, and the pressure was on them weekly from these 'parties to sell. It was terrible to watch.

 

Once I paid the bank, the fireworks started with the neighbors.   

 

I had general abuse thrown at me from sore losers to suddenly other buyers coming out of the woodwork wanting to pay the correct price as the Chanote was now free. I had people practically spit at my feet as they thought they were going to get a bargain, and it was this farangs fault I ruined it for them and it not my business to help in Thai affairs. Some even tried to block access to the lands.

 

So now,  just a couple of Ria got sold at the right price to a developer. I got all my money back and extra as well in thanks from the father. My wife could not be more thankful as it now has set her family up for a much better future. Land is free and her old father feels like he has completed everything in his life and can die easily (his words).

 

Now, this is the hitch-pin to it all. This is what learned from the experience, and it really shocked me. 

 

Over the last few months after the sale, about 10 or so of my wife's friends came to my wife asking for loans. She did not give them any money as in the past, she could not even get a 100 baht off any of them if times were hard. “What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander'' she generally told me.

 

Why help others that did not give a damn.

 

Now, a few of the girls told my wife to take off with the money that is now in the bank. Just go and disappear, they said and when I left her, she comes back a rich woman without a nuisance of a silly farang hanging around.

 

I found this all pretty had to believe, but I heard much of this in with my own ears. The vile and the hate I saw were shocking; you know, because they are not getting ahead, it is not fair and jealousy was rank. I do think that I have a decent family. I have, in fact, taken most my money from this transaction and put it somewhere very safe, away from everyone and my wife agrees with what I did.

 

All I have learned from this is out in these villages that you all have in this thread described so well, there are a lot of people that are very willing and ready to take advantage of you.

 

They are all so willing to take advantage of their own in business as I saw with my father-in-law; I think now in all honesty, doing over a farang would not even faze them an inch. You need to be careful, and now I understand, just like my first wife; many people are ready, no matter what their race is, will find it easy to do you over if they think it is an advantage to them.

 

So it is just not the salty BIL or the bar girl or scheming wife who can take you for the ride, but just about anyone in this world if they think they can get away with it. It is pretty sad to think this, but I learned a big lesson from it all and I hope what I wrote helps someone.

Edited May 5, 2018 by totally thaied up

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎5‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 10:13 PM, totally thaied up said:

I found this all pretty had to believe, but I heard much of this in with my own ears. The vile and the hate I saw were shocking; you know, because they are not getting ahead, it is not fair and jealousy was rank. I do think that I have a decent family. I have, in fact, taken most my money from this transaction

I find that all completely believable, having had a similar, but not same, experience.

The difference with me is that I had no problem with the other village people, but the family, for which I did a great deal ( wiring up 3 houses for them at my own expense, plus other things that cost me a lot ) never once offered a word of thanks, "borrowed" 60,000 baht for the mother's funeral and never repaid a satang, continually told my wife to divorce me, and stole everything that they could get their hands on.

The only positive thing I can take from the situation is that my ex wife has not managed to attract a more pliable farang ATM to marry. Unfortunately, they are the ones that have ended up the best off from my endeavours.

If I could get on the proverbial time machine, I'd go back to the last day I had in the house, and hire a moving company to take away everything of mine in the house. Even if I had to dump them I'd be happier than knowing that brood of vipers have got so much of my stuff.

 

I too learned a very big lesson, but unfortunately I'll never get to do anything with it as I'll never get involved with another Thai woman again. Those days are passed for me.

Edited May 8, 2018 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

Does anyone know how the Dark Lord is getting on? I haven't heard anything from him since he returned to the UK, and I know he wasn't well then.

[Odysseus123]

10 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Does anyone know how the Dark Lord is getting on? I haven't heard anything from him since he returned to the UK, and I know he wasn't well then.

TBL,

 

My news is old news from last September when he seemed to be doing okay.

 

Heaven knows what has happened since then as he seems to have disappeared.