How to wai - a guide to the Thai greeting

[stigvinck]

The wai, the Thai greeting.

Everyone goes through the same questions and hesitations when they visit Thailand for the first time. How do I do this, where do I put my hands. Who goes first?

After having lived in Thailand for almost 10 years now I think I master the wai pretty well, but I still sometimes get confused in some situations.

A few days ago I stopped at a police check point and with my bike engine still running and a little bit stressed (athough I have a license) I shook the policeman's hand after he checked my documents. The look on my face was probably the same as on his. I then attempted to wai him but he was already walking away so my wai was directed at a policeman talking to another guy on a motorbike,. Awkward, especially when he returned the wai.

So we decided to write a little guide to the wai. Hope it will help newcomers or even expats that have lived here for years, to master the Thai greeting like a pro.
tours.stayinchiangmai.com/how-to-wai-a-complete-guide-to-the-thai-greeting/

 

Anyone else have any funny stories or tips regarding the wai?

 

Edited July 3, 2017 by stigvinck

[Lamkyong]

Everyone goes through the same questions and hesitations??     not me and i think not many others   i just acknowledge  with a polite nod/dip of the head seems acceptable

[JLCrab]

Do you ever see a Thai Mother placing together the hands of a 2-year old Thai boy or girl instructing them on the proper wai? To me a wai is something you learn from that age. As above, a nod of the head and maybe a smile is how I return a wai from a Thai.

[thaibeachlovers]

As someone been in Thailand a lot longer than 10 years, I never wai. I am not Thai and it's not expected of me.

[brewsterbudgen]

As someone been in Thailand a lot longer than 10 years, I never wai. I am not Thai and it's not expected of me.

I've lived here 13 years. I wai the mother-in-law and would probably wai a policeman if I was in the wrong. I return wais occasionally. Otherwise I stay away from it, much like I do from Thai politics and the monarchy.

[ezzra]

What used to be once a gesture of respect and reverence to elders and people in higher

positions, become more of a farce now days, a hollow act devoid of any

sincerity and real meanings... and I for one, am so sorry for that...

[NanLaew]

...again.

1 hour ago, stigvinck said:

A few days ago I stopped at a police check point and with my bike engine still running and a little bit stressed (athough I have a license) I shook the policeman's hand after he checked my documents. The look on my face was probably the same as on his. I then attempted to wai him but he was already walking away so my wai was directed at a policeman talking to another guy on a motorbike,

Truly cringeworthy.

[Chou Anou]

My take on it is, if you're making a serious attempt at speaking Thai with Thai people, you should wai.  However, one never wais social inferiors (sounds harsh, but I'm speaking from a Thai world view), and one never initiates a wai with a younger person...whether to return the wai a younger person gives to you depends on the social context and your relationship with them.  Years ago I was told by my then-girlfriend never to return the wais of her (middle school) children to me, but simply to acknowledge them with a nod.  However, a friend who is a professor at Chula always returns the wais of her students (which of course they must initiate)...that's what I mean by relationship and context.  And in the present day, I always return the wai of my 4 year old Thai grandson (really my girlfriend's grandson--different girlfriend!), but then everyone in the family does (and we sometimes initiate it with him), since we're still at the stage of trying to teach him proper Thai social behavior.

 

Depending on the situation, wai-ing a police officer or others in an official capacity who are in a position to make your life either easier or harder in the next few minutes is always a good idea!  I certainly don't wai cops as a matter of practice, though.  Context, folks.

 

One NEVER wais service staff (including sex workers), though...every time I see a farang do that, I want to scream.  And I never, ever wai hanging portraits or statues, Hindu or Buddhist.

 

Again, if you don't speak Thai and have no intention of learning (which I imagine describes the majority of the "grumpy farang" variety of Thaivisa members, haha), then I agree that you don't need to bother with it.  However, if you seriously want to speak Thai and you don't wai appropriately, then no matter how good your tones or pronunciation, you're not really speaking the language properly.

Edited July 4, 2017 by Chou Anou

[howard ashoul]

I'm always confused who should I "wai"?

 

Like should I wait my doctor? My landlord? Lady behind counter at Amphur? Generally people working in goverment? If I come to a random store and owner of business is present? Parents on every occassion? Teachers of my children?

 

You might think, that I'm overthinking this. And I should just "feel it". But I saw so many farangs wai to motorbiketaxi, bargirls, and even to beggars. I don't wanna join their club.

[timkeen08]

The wai, the Thai greeting.
Everyone goes through the same questions and hesitations when they visit Thailand for the first time. How do I do this, where do I put my hands. Who goes first?
After having lived in Thailand for almost 10 years now I think I master the wai pretty well, but I still sometimes get confused in some situations.
A few days ago I stopped at a police check point and with my bike engine still running and a little bit stressed (athough I have a license) I shook the policeman's hand after he checked my documents. The look on my face was probably the same as on his. I then attempted to wai him but he was already walking away so my wai was directed at a policeman talking to another guy on a motorbike,. Awkward, especially when he returned the wai.

So we decided to write a little guide to the wai. Hope it will help newcomers or even expats that have lived here for years, to master the Thai greeting like a pro.
tours.stayinchiangmai.com/how-to-wai-a-complete-guide-to-the-thai-greeting/
 
Anyone else have any funny stories or tips regarding the wai?
 

Thank you for the great post. I would like to contribute my experiences. I prefer a wai to a handshake anyday due to disease prevention and I try to respect other culture's customs in whichever country I have lived in or visited. I know, some people are gruff and discourteous in nature and don't care if they offend anyone. This is how many Thais see our culture anyway and most are very happy when you wai and speak a little Thai.

Many Thais respond back with a wai, shake your hand, and begin speaking english. Many Thais love to show you they speak some english or have lived abroad. After a wai/sawatdee, I was talking to this one young Thai lady and I commented that she had perfect english accent. She said her mom and dad were Thai but still live in California where she was born. I said I was from Georgia and she said I don't have a southern accent. I told her I was an army brat so she nodded in understanding. You never know who you will meet with a simple wai but if you don't try, you may never know.

The Wai depends on many factors. Who and where, how well you know them, are they a family member, are they a khun yai or khun da, do they speak english and like to show you respect by shaking hands and saying hello first, how have they reciprocated to a wai in the past, what they are doing at the time, are they a family member or friend that has lived or spent time in your home country, what is the get together about, who is also in attendance, are they a government official or police or server or worker, what has been your prior Wai experience been with them, etc...

With some Thais a simple hello is excepted and the hello may be returned, returned with a nod and smile, returned with a wai, or simply ignored. Many Thais go out of their way to wai or return a wai but if they are on a motorcycle a curteous nod and smile is usually exceptable or a simple quick wave of the hand. There is a learning curve for those that attempt to participate with the tradition. These are a few of my observations based on my own experience and from watching the way Thais handle a wai to each other. Even if you don't wai to someone when you first encounter a Thai due to circumstances, when you leave, a simple wai, sawatdee, or cop khun goes a long way with future interactions. A last word. I find the wai or no wai is handled a little different depending on if you are in a big city or out in an Isaan village.

One more last note. Wai farang to farang can be appropriate if in a social setting or at a formal event if everyone is wai-ing each other regardless, such as a wedding, and then followed by hello and a handshake. Otherwise a hello, or hallo, or a nod is the norm between farangs when seing each other. What I can't stand is greeting another farang with a hello and his response is an angry sawatdee cop like he is already a Thai and how dare you speak english to him. He can just go bump himself, to be polite. I have met a farang when with my wife and he responded with a Wai to my wife and started speaking english with me. When his girlfriend showed up we exchanged wais and she started speaking Thai to my wife with us farangs commented to each other on what we thought they were talking about. Goes to show you how common courtesy works in any language or culture. It takes all kinds.

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[joeyg]

2 hours ago, Lamkyong said:

Everyone goes through the same questions and hesitations??     not me and i think not many others   i just acknowledge  with a polite nod/dip of the head seems acceptable

Yes exactly.  Unless it's a monk or anyone else older.  Then one should always wai.

[JLCrab]

 I don't wai to anybody ... but if he wants to that's up to him

Edited July 4, 2017 by JLCrab

[wildewillie89]

I don't think it is as respectful or disrespectful as the article seems to imply (when discussing farang). Yeah, Thai may say 'how cute' if a farang does it, but they will not look down on a farang that does not do it. As long as you are friendly, have a nice smile, nod, wave, whatever, that seems to be sufficient. When I met the Governor of my province I just went up and shook his hand (no issues). I work for the Mayor of my city and he will initiate a handshake or a pat on the arm (sometimes even a wrestle lol). 

Police are more than happy to shake your hand, just depends on the context. At a festival they may go out of their way to come up to you, shake your hand and try and have a chat. Obviously at a check point they need to be a little more serious,...rarely is their time for a greeting anyway. 

 

From my personal experience, many Thai see you as a person who isn't required to fulfil different aspect of the culture and really couldn't care less if you wai or not. I have never not been returned a smile with my hello, and have never had any negative reactions for not doing a wai (even when they wai me).

So I purely do it out of where my hands are at the time. If they are near my face and someone says hello (regardless of who they are) I will do a half attempt at a wai, if they are in my pockets then I will not (and either say hi, smile, nod or shake hands). I think it is an issue within the actual 'farang', rather than the Thai people having any issue with it. If that is the case, then why make it an issue, just move on and not feel like a knob everyday of your life.

Edited July 4, 2017 by wildewillie89

[Denim]

Not Thai ...why Wai ?

[vogie]

4 minutes ago, Denim said:

Not Thai ...why Wai ?

Because farang......polite man?

[timkeen08]

Yes exactly.  Unless it's a monk or anyone else older.  Then one should always wai.

Just a few short monk wai observations. Many Thais do not wai a passing monk on the street unless they know him. Most Thais wai and kneel when talking to a monk at a temple or in a house/building. I have not seen a Thai kneel on the street when talking to a monk. I will wai when talking to a monk but will not kneel due to bad knees and back.

Monks don't respond to a wai with a wai. A nod and/or a smile maybe. Some monks do nothing. These are quit exceptable and expected from monks so do not feel offended. A few monks that are good friends or family will give me an arm grasp/shake after I give him a wai and I do not continue the wai while we talk in english.

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[luk AJ]

Try to behave when you are guest in another country. If somebody wai at you, you wai back. There are many more rules when and how to wai but the rule above is basic politeness.


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[1SteveC]

1 hour ago, Chou Anou said:

Again, if you don't speak Thai and have no intention of learning (which I imagine describes the majority of the "grumpy farang" variety of Thaivisa members, haha), then I agree that you don't need to bother with it.  However, if you seriously want to speak Thai and you don't wai appropriately, then no matter how good your tones or pronunciation, you're not really speaking the language properly.

 

So in a different country, let's say England,, what you are saying is - if you don't shake hands correctly,(and yes, there are correct ways of shaking hands), you are not speaking English correctly ? What a ridiculous, pompous, (look at me, I speak Thai) and incorrect conclusion.

[timkeen08]

Try to behave when you are guest in another country. If somebody wai at you, you wai back. There are many more rules when and how to wai but the rule above is basic politeness.


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Good luck with that post. As is evident from posts on TVF, there are a very few of us that agree with you but you are wasting your words because most just do not care and will not hesitate to argue or attempt to degrade you.

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[1SteveC]

1 hour ago, timkeen08 said:

After a wai/sawatdee, I was talking to this one young Thai lady and I commented that she had perfect english accent.

 

Just what is a "perfect english accent" ? There are so many English accents.

[timkeen08]

 
Just what is a "perfect english accent" ? There are so many English accents.

Did you miss that we are Americans? Read more carefully and figure it out for yourself.

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[1SteveC]

1 minute ago, timkeen08 said:

Did you miss that we are Americans? Read more carefully and figure it out for yourself.

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America has a multitude of English accents, so I ask again - what is the perfect English accent ?

 

[vogie]

2 minutes ago, 1SteveC said:

 

America has a multitude of English accents, so I ask again - what is the perfect English accent ?

 

Yorkshire of course.

 

 

[timkeen08]

Wrong, America has a multitude of American accents. So try correcting yourself.

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[1SteveC]

4 minutes ago, timkeen08 said:

Wrong, America has a multitude of American accents. So try correcting yourself.

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There is no language called "American" 

 

I think you will find as the language is English they are English accents ! (Maybe American English at a push).

 

I admit though, I find it hard to take someone seriously when they talk about English and yet can't spell the word correctly.

 

:-)

Edited July 4, 2017 by 1SteveC

[timkeen08]

 
There is no language called "American" 
 
I think you will find as the language is English they are English accents ! (Maybe American English at a push).
 
I admit though, I find it hard to take someone seriously when they talk about English and yet can't spell the word correctly.
 
:-)

You still cannot read. I said American accents to your reply. The post is about wai anyway so go jump somewhere else. The end.

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[Tim207]

57 minutes ago, luk AJ said:

Try to behave when you are guest in another country. If somebody wai at you, you wai back. There are many more rules when and how to wai but the rule above is basic politeness.

"basic politeness" is determined by culture. It is not a universal set of cross cultural norms. Just because your culture deems a behavior as polite does not make it so for all. 

[1SteveC]

9 minutes ago, timkeen08 said:

You still cannot read. I said American accents to your reply. The post is about wai anyway so go jump somewhere else. The end.

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There is no language called American, therefore there can be no American accents - only American English accents.

 

I note that you failed to answer the question of what was a "perfect American accent", I am guessing this is because you meant pronunciation and not accent, (see the fact above).

 

That sir is the end.

[luk AJ]

"basic politeness" is determined by culture. It is not a universal set of cross cultural norms. Just because your culture deems a behavior as polite does not make it so for all. 

Do you mean Thai people don't consider a returned wai polite?


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[timkeen08]

 
There is no language called American, therefore there can be no American accents - only American English accents.
 
I note that you failed to answer the question of what was a "perfect American accent", I am guessing this is because you meant pronunciation and not accent, (see the fact above).
 
That sir is the end.

Try finding the possible accents to a wai if it makes you happy.

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