Are you a Hand Holding Farang ?

[amvet]

Easy to see the new guys or the guys who have not been to Thailand in a while.  There is a fellow named Rossi who writes for Stickman as an expert and hasn't been to Thailand in 30 years.

 

When I got here it was less acceptable to hold hands or away from cities or centers of education.  Now in big cities and education centers Thai people hold hands.  Since Thai people hold hands I will assume it is OK for Farang to hold hands.  It used to be OK for Thai women to go topless now only the really old ladies in the village do.  Thai people are trying hard to forget that it used to be OK to go topless in Thailand. 

 

Ever since the 1930's Thailand has been trying to copy the West.  It started with a general named Pibun who wrote laws about Thais not going topless and men not wearing skirts anymore and everyone was supposed to wear hats.  He started the forks and spoons with no knives at dinner thing too I believe.  No one would be silly enough to give Thai people knives to eat with or napkins.  The holding hands thing is akin to kissing your wife goodby in the morning which I think he wrote a law about too.  It takes a while for all of the old Thai culture to be erased and new Western ideas to be put into effect.  I really think everyone should make an attempt to learn about Thai culture and history before it is all re written.  It won't be available for much longer methinks.

[Gandtee]

I find it a bit of a stretch when my wife is either three yards in front or behind me when we are walking. Years ago when I walked a bit sharpish she used to accuse me of "Chasing the buffalo". Now I've slowed down a bit it's a role reversal. I daren't tell her though. She may not understand it's a metaphor and take it literally.

[Thaidream]

Thais normally do not hold hands in public and neither do I with my wife.  It has nothing to do with marking territory but everything to do with proper decorum. It is not considered proper to show any type of  physical expression in public although this old concept is starting to breakdown with the advents of social media.  Kissing in public in Thailand- never.

[nasanews]

I find it embarrassing to hold hands with a girl in public, but maybe that is just me.

[DeeMak9]

10 hours ago, JohnJay said:

I don't hold hands with my wife, mostly because I see guys holding hands with hookers they've just met all the time and I don't wanna be confused for one of them. 

Some may find your post strange. But Im with you... Exactly this reason...

[JayBird]

in Bangkok I would often see Young Thai couples holding hands while walking.

 

So things may be changing by the generation.

[KC 71]

Only when we are crossing a busy road

[brakar]

39 minutes ago, KC 71 said:

Only when we are crossing a busy road

Same for me. She always takes my hand when we cross a busy street. She does not trust me to cross the street on my own

[balo]

4 hours ago, KhaoNiaw said:

No. I don't think the thread is about shaking hands or waiing either. Just don't agree with you that holding hands is 'outside of Thai culture'.

Look , just take a look around you  ,if  you live in Thailand.

 

Most couples will not hold hands , you will find some young couples in Bangkok that "adapted" to the western way, Holding hands is the same as touching another person and that is not how Thais behave in public. They wait until their inside their own home.  . 

 

 

 

[balo]

4 hours ago, dotpoom said:

No, my wife is deeply insecure and (deeply in love 555) .....she holds my hand.

Where did you meet her, in a bar? 

[khunPer]

16 hours ago, CharlieH said:

I dont but she certainly does.

 

What makes you so sure its the man that has instigated it ?

Me also, I never hold hand with my GF, or any Thai girl – knowing it can be embarrassing and not polite in the culture, and actually I also prefer not to do it – but they normally insist on holding hand...
–Perhaps they make face walking together with such a handsome farang...

[KhaoNiaw]

1 minute ago, balo said:

Look , just take a look around you  ,if  you live in Thailand.

 

Most couples will not hold hands , you will find some young couples in Bangkok that "adapted" to the western way, Holding hands is the same as touching another person and that is not how Thais behave in public. They wait until their inside their own home.  . 

 

 

 

I agree about couples. But would say that it it's still not so uncommon to see two women holding hands. When I first came here you'd even see male friends holding hands but that's pretty much gone now. So I think holding hands does have a place in Thai culture but it has been quite different from the the western way. 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Even girls (friends) hold hands here. I am not a hand holding kinda guy, but what to do when wife shoves it right in at the shopping mall?

[balo]

1 minute ago, KhaoNiaw said:

But would say that it it's still not so uncommon to see two women holding hands.

Yes I have seen it many times, I would think they are lesbians. Maybe a way to express how they feel and that they are different.

[mikecha]

16 hours ago, amvet said:

My wife holds my hand so her sister won't.  Cute sister, bit on the aggressive side.  At my age there is only so much to go around. 

cool answer humour mate

[mikecha]

17 minutes ago, balo said:

Yes I have seen it many times, I would think they are lesbians. Maybe a way to express how they feel and that they are different.

Where have you been all your life    in many asian countries many woman girls hold hands it s a sign of respect  

sorry maybe u need to look at life again

[balo]

Just now, mikecha said:

in many asian countries many woman girls hold hands it s a sign of respect  

Sure , but most I see here are tomboys/girls .  They are lesbians. 

 

[chickenslegs]

28 minutes ago, balo said:

Where did you meet her, in a bar? 

Really!

A wife holding her husband's hand is equivalent to a prostitute in your eyes?

Time to take a look at your own ethical values, perhaps.

 

[GarryP]

29 minutes ago, balo said:

Look , just take a look around you  ,if  you live in Thailand.

 

Most couples will not hold hands , you will find some young couples in Bangkok that "adapted" to the western way, Holding hands is the same as touching another person and that is not how Thais behave in public. They wait until their inside their own home.  . 

 

 

 

I see it all the time at shopping centers. Admittedly many don't but still a good number do.  Couples of all ages. 30 years ago it was not a common sight, but now it is common enough - at least in Bangkok.  

 

Physical displays of affection (apart from hand holding), however, are still very rare and would be frowned upon.   

[alien365]

With the amount of looks that we get from holding hands I prefer not to in public in Thailand. I used to find the looks funny but its just sad now. Back in the UK we held hands every day and no one bat an eyelid.

[GarryP]

Just now, chickenslegs said:

Really!

A wife holding her husband's hand is equivalent to a prostitute in your eyes?

Time to take a look at your own ethical values, perhaps.

 

I agree with you. I just can't get over this association of some posters. If you hold a woman's hand she must be a prostitute and you must be a monger!!!!! Really??? They seem to be quite insecure and projecting their own biases on others.

 

To be honest, should you really even care what others think?  No matter what you do, there will always be someone who takes a dim view of you.   

[thaibeachlovers]

16 hours ago, thehelmsman said:

From what I see it's a form of possession  on both parties. Sort of like the guy wants it to be understood the lady is with him.

You think too much, in my opinion.

I held my wife's hand because I liked to do so. I was never for a second foolish enough to believe that I "owned" her. That condition belonged to her sister and her mother.

 

When I had a young Thai GF back in the day ( a long time ago ) and we were in an area with lots of western women tourists I took great satisfaction in making a display of holding her hand as it really P them O.

[thaibeachlovers]

21 minutes ago, balo said:

Sure , but most I see here are tomboys/girls .  They are lesbians. 

 

Back in the 70s girls holding hands was commonplace- just friendship. Sadly, it's rare now.

[JHolmesJr]

no hand holding…just bum steering.

[Bill Miller]

I dinna ken aboot "holding hands"...
Actually, I do. Waan jai often takes my hand, as well as her daughter's, sister's, etc. Her pi khoy took my hand and walked about half a klick down the road to show me a newly planted rice field. He is an older guy, and it did not seem odd. "When in Rome..."

[Prbkk]

I haven't read all the replies , so the points probably been made: in many, probably most, cases it looks <deleted> ridiculous. Huge age difference but holding hands in a semi embrace as though joined at the hip. The not huge age difference couples tend not to do it, or at least not in the same overtly sexual way ( probably they are married and don't need to constantly touch). 

[balo]

34 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

Really!

It was just a question , but you did not give me a reply. 

[Prbkk]

28 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Back in the 70s girls holding hands was commonplace- just friendship. Sadly, it's rare now.

So did the boys, even more rare now...but it is very sweet to see it , for both genders, and something that would be sad to lose completely ( of course you can't update Facebook when holding hands with someone, maybe that's the issue).

[thaibeachlovers]

26 minutes ago, Prbkk said:

I haven't read all the replies , so the points probably been made: in many, probably most, cases it looks <deleted> ridiculous. Huge age difference but holding hands in a semi embrace as though joined at the hip. The not huge age difference couples tend not to do it, or at least not in the same overtly sexual way ( probably they are married and don't need to constantly touch). 

( probably they are married and don't need to constantly touch). 

or they haven't had sex for years and he wishes he was with someone that would hold his hand.

[impulse]

59 minutes ago, GarryP said:

I agree with you. I just can't get over this association of some posters. If you hold a woman's hand she must be a prostitute and you must be a monger!!!!! Really??? They seem to be quite insecure and projecting their own biases on others.

 

I haven't a clue whether he's a monger or she's a hooker.  But if I see a couple walking and they're not holding hands, I don't know if they're friends, lovers, acquaintances or co-workers.

 

If they're holding hands, I'm 95% sure they're doing it.  And everyone else who sees them is just as sure- correct or not.  Which is why I resist holding the hands of my GF in public, who's not that young, but still looks like a teenager from over 2-3 meters off.  Like it or not, there is a cultural stigma attached by many locals seeing an old fart -especially a foreign old fart- with a teenage looking girl.  And I'm in Rome, doing my best to fit in with the Romans that see me every day.

 

She, on the other hand, wants to hold hands.  I put it down as marking me as her's and she will say as much.  Which is not one of the most endearing characteristics that she possesses, IMO.