Thai wife problems

[oldhippy]

1 minute ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Yep, the white world is full of needy losers.

They are why women are like this, if it didn't get women the attention and drama they want, they wouldn't do it.

That behaviour never happens all of a sudden, with full force.

It happens gradually.

And when one realizes that it has gone too far, one has already invested so much in the relationship, that it is difficult to end it.

Not so much financially (only fools would do that), but emotionally.

 

 

 

[MaeJoMTB]

3 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

And when one realizes that it has gone too far, one has already invested so much in the relationship, that it is difficult to end it.

Not so much financially (only fools would do that), but emotionally.

Women have taught me, my emotions have no value.

And I have come to understand it doesn't actually matter to me which woman is in my bed at night.

 

I have lived with my new 'emotions' for nearly 10 years now and it makes life so much easier and pleasant.

[MaeJoMTB]

39 minutes ago, Hamuraii said:

Did, that she's chasing me now.

You have to do it at the start, not at the end.

Relationships can never be rebuilt, they only ever get worse.

(I've found the peak of any relationship happens within the first 10 bedroom events)

 

Clean break, new SIM, new email, move house with no forwarding address.

If she knows where you work, you're in deep doodoo.

[GarryP]

5 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Women have taught me, my emotions have no value.

And I have come to understand it doesn't actually matter to me which woman is in my bed at night.

 

I have lived with my new 'emotions' for nearly 10 years now and it makes life so much easier and pleasant.

I understand what you are saying, but hope I never become so jaded towards relationships.  

[Hamuraii]

2 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You have to do it at the start, not at the end.

Relationships can never be rebuilt, they only ever get worse.

 

Clean break, new SIM, new email, move house with no forwarding address.

If she knows where you work, you're in deep doodoo.

Work on a remote severs, hosted, in US, Swiss, NL, to name a few, it more like digital nomad voodoo than doodoo.

 

She's a good girl, with many good quality's, is not interested in shiny stuff, think she's a bit of an introvert that likes to read books and stay at home.

 

 

 

 

[oldhippy]

2 minutes ago, Hamuraii said:

 

Do you walk away, let her simmer down, for a while, ever managed to breach that shell with out setting the house on fire ?

 

A year ago I walked out.

I did not take her with me on our yearly trip to Europe (her flights were not refundable, 1.000 euro up in smoke).

I came back (....) 4 months later, she has not fundamentally changed, only less bad than before.

She simply refuses to talk about her problem, when I try to, she asks if I want her to get a bad mood again.

555 When I just met her, I was attracted to her independent attitude and strong personality, but she is overdoing it big time....

At my age, I guess I just have to try to make the best of things.

Only positive: when I recently kicked her lazy son out of the house, she did not react with hysteria (much to my surprise - I was ready to leave for ever).

 

[Hamuraii]

@oldhippy 

 

Been burned hard, few times, climbing the white mountain, before.

 

My father marriage, is more like a his own private prison, he's still in love with her, child hoods 1st love, but she gives nothing, zero, does nothing for him, zero, and just has a hysterial meltdown every day with the 24/7 white noise of complains that she unloads on him, have told him many times, walk away, non of my siblings like her, in fact most detest her behaviour and she never did anything for us, she's just a cute, trophy wife, that slept till noon, last time she cooked a dinner for me was in 1997, it was reheated leftovers, she managed to <deleted> that up, adding frozen weggies at the end, it became a mushy wet soupy mess, with my work now, I go back home once a  year, and stay in my country side flat, away from the city, I'll prob see my mother two times a year now at best, its for the best, my poor father still keeps trying to hold it all working, the old saying, when he's dead in a few years, finally kicked the bucket, she's just gonna stand over his grave, and complain.

 

 

[AGareth2]

hope it didn't cost too much

[oldhippy]

Hamuraii,

Have you concidered medical treatment for your gf? Would she agree?

The symtoms point at some form of schizofrenia, perhaps "borderline" syndrome.

I have friends back home with a psychotic (adopted) daughter. They started with social workers, psychologists, next psychiatry, nothing helped - until medical drugs were prescribed (lithium if I remember well). And that helped!

My wife refuses any such things unfortunately.

PS. Wanting to help your gf is very noble of you, but it is NOT your duty. As you are still at the beginning of the relationship, NOW is the time to decide if you can cope with this for the rest of your life. Maybe you should think of the advise you gave to your father?

 

 

 

 

[Hamuraii]

oldhippy,

 

Same with my dear mother, refuses to admit, that she has any mental problems, hard, NO, to any question if she'd visit : social worker, psychiatry, and never to take any pill, that just impossible as she has no problems, but she'd be happy to try and recommend 'happy pills' to any kid thats acting up.

 

I'm quite sure will get the same reply out of the gf, should I ask, lets see, hard refusal.

 

lets see how this goes, indeed should learn from my fathers mistakes.

 

  

[ncc1701d]

Don’t know who said it - but you don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

[Rc2702]

I think this hamuraii has a chance given the age of the lady in question.

 

I recall something similar with my Mrs who was 31 when I met her and displayed some traits like that.

 

It was a difficult first 18 months but I think we turned a corner big time (touch wood) I stopped assuming she thought with the same rational as westerners which I think is a common mistake.

 

My Mrs had that jealousy issue too which I just fronted very quickly. Took my pin code off my phone, explained to her how she can possibly believe I have other women when I litrually spend 95% of my time in her company.

I also moved us away to an area very different to bkk. I see the difference now. It took time to build that trust and the language barrier also made it difficult to relay things for her sometimes so I'm pleased we persevered together and we are now entering year 4.

 

I did ban those soaps. Sport or music or watch a film online is ok. Anything nut the soaps and shopping channels.

 

Admitting errors to herself out loud was also something I asked her to remedy. I got a message last week advising our son had banged his head whilst trying to escape his little chair he's fine and I doubt I'd have got that message if we had not done that work. Want and need was another one we worked on. 

 

I also made it perfectly clear that her family would not know what to do with money and if they had it they would waste it. Want and need work very well here in regards to her parents when they become too old too. They may want something but they will only get what they need - care and support (not blind cash donations)

 

Yh I could have walked, but I only came/stayed here for her and it was worth the effort.

 

It's in my nature I had the same accountant since day 1. I lived in 20 different homes by time I was 24 so maybe I've had enough of change...

[Hamuraii]

@oldhippy  @Rc2702

 

Update, whole hysteria-train-derailment was a your average activity that normal people do in public spaces, its just that I was near dead from a heatstroke, could not take part 100% but was there focused and alive, was enough to set the internal seething anger mechanism in motion.

 

Example, both sit down and have cake, you fail starting to eat the cake at the same time, she becomes distant and cold.

 

Did have somewhat of an discussion about the issue, but indeed was hard to get information, suggested a code she could say in public, as to not loose face.

 

Example, Pineapple Pizza [ Yes i like pizza with Pineapple, Bacon and Chilly ] 

 

but wanted her to find her own secret code word, to tell me, this might work, lets see, oldhippy, maybe your gal can conjure up her own secret word, when she's moody.

 

Thanks for the good read Rc2702

[Rc2702]

11 hours ago, Hamuraii said:

@oldhippy  @Rc2702

 

Update, whole hysteria-train-derailment was a your average activity that normal people do in public spaces, its just that I was near dead from a heatstroke, could not take part 100% but was there focused and alive, was enough to set the internal seething anger mechanism in motion.

 

Example, both sit down and have cake, you fail starting to eat the cake at the same time, she becomes distant and cold.

 

Did have somewhat of an discussion about the issue, but indeed was hard to get information, suggested a code she could say in public, as to not loose face.

 

Example, Pineapple Pizza [ Yes i like pizza with Pineapple, Bacon and Chilly ] 

 

but wanted her to find her own secret code word, to tell me, this might work, lets see, oldhippy, maybe your gal can conjure up her own secret word, when she's moody.

 

Thanks for the good read Rc2702

Maybe the seating arrangement upsets her or something. I tend to face away from crowds and views. She can't just be going silent for no reason. There is a trigger.

[xylophone]

13 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

She can't just be going silent for no reason. There is a trigger.

One would think so, however trying to find a trigger inside a Thai woman's mind is damn near impossible.

 

I lived with a very nice/lovely Thai lady and her young daughter for around four years and could never get to the bottom of why she would go silent and stay that way for days, even weeks.

 

We never argued, it was a nice house, I paid for everything and also gave her a housekeeping allowance of 15,000 baht per month, bought her a motorbike and even paid for a major operation to remove a tumour from her brother's throat.

 

It seemed like an idyllic life and she was quite happy to be home keeper and never drank or smoked and never went out on the town. She was university educated and was an accountant and sensible so all seemed hunky dory.

 

The first time she did it, it was more of a sulk because I was thinking about buying a Mitsubishi Triton and she liked the Isuzu D Max, and when it looked like I might go for the Triton, I got about 10 days of silence. Thinking that this was the case I cancelled the order and things were back to normal.

 

The second time I got the silent treatment for nothing that I can pinpoint and despite asking what I had done wrong, how I could help, what do I need to do, have I upset you, are you unhappy, etc, etc, I got nothing, but more silence.

 

This went on for a couple of weeks and she eventually came out of it, and I said that it made me very angry and unhappy, and if I couldn't help, then the next time she did it I would tell her to move out and I would live on my own.

 

Well she did it again this time for a couple of weeks and when things didn't come right I said to her that within 24 hours she should have all of her stuff packed and waiting at the front door ready to be moved out, along with her and her daughter, and she started to do that. However early the next morning they were missing and when they came back they each came back with some flowers and prostrated themselves in front of me uttering some words in Thai, however roughly translated was sorry and we thank you for everything you do for us.

 

It really did move me so everything was back to normal however I did say that I really couldn't live like this and the next time we would definitely split. Well the next time came round and it was a few days of silence, before she went up north to see a relative who was sick.

 

Before she went I endeavoured to find out what was wrong with all of the usual questions, but no answer and even when she was away none of my calls were answered, nor any of the SMS messages I sent. This made me seethe. 

 

She was away for about four weeks and strangely enough I didn't mind this, because I had the house to myself and I got to like it and thought about what I would do if I was single.

 

She came back and was barely speaking, however when I sat her down and said that I had put the house on the market, I was selling it and we were going to part company, she burst into tears and was like that for many days.

 

She knew exactly what was going to happen if this silent treatment continued, and it happened.

 

This was about five or six years ago and I still see her and actually sponsor and take care of her daughter, putting her through high school and university as well as providing the ex g/f with a sizeable amount of money to keep her going.

 

About a month ago I was talking to her and said that I was completely puzzled about why she had gone silent and would she care to explain now that everything was over.......... was it something I had done, did she think I had a Mia Noi, was she having an affair on the side, and just about everything else I could think of.

 

Her answer surprised me and it went something like this............. "that was just me and if you can't understand me and what I do, then so be it".

 

So nothing I could have done to have prevented all this, and nothing that she can explain in reality, but I have been single now for all of those years and really do like my single life, because I don't have to put up with all that crap.

[Rc2702]

Just now, xylophone said:

One would think so, however trying to find a trigger inside a Thai woman's mind is damn near impossible.

 

I lived with a very nice/lovely Thai lady and her young daughter for around four years and could never get to the bottom of why she would go silent and stay that way for days, even weeks.

 

We never argued, it was a nice house, I paid for everything and also gave her a housekeeping allowance of 15,000 baht per month, bought her a motorbike and even paid for a major operation to remove a tumour from her brother's throat.

 

It seemed like an idyllic life and she was quite happy to be home keeper and never drank or smoked and never went out on the town. She was university educated and was an accountant and sensible so all seemed hunky dory.

 

The first time she did it, it was more of a sulk because I was thinking about buying a Mitsubishi Triton and she liked the Isuzu D Max, and when it looked like I might go for the Triton, I got about 10 days of silence. Thinking that this was the case I cancelled the order and things were back to normal.

 

The second time I got the silent treatment for nothing that I can pinpoint and despite asking what I had done wrong, how I could help, what do I need to do, have I upset you, are you unhappy, etc, etc, I got nothing, but more silence.

 

This went on for a couple of weeks and she eventually came out of it, and I said that it made me very angry and unhappy, and if I couldn't help, then the next time she did it I would tell her to move out and I would live on my own.

 

Well she did it again this time for a couple of weeks and when things didn't come right I said to her that within 24 hours she should have all of her stuff packed and waiting at the front door ready to be moved out, along with her and her daughter, and she started to do that. However early the next morning they were missing and when they came back they each came back with some flowers and prostrated themselves in front of me uttering some words in Thai, however roughly translated was sorry and we thank you for everything you do for us.

 

It really did move me so everything was back to normal however I did say that I really couldn't live like this and the next time we would definitely split. Well the next time came round and it was a few days of silence, before she went up north to see a relative who was sick.

 

Before she went I endeavoured to find out what was wrong with all of the usual questions, but no answer and even when she was away none of my calls were answered, nor any of the SMS messages I sent. This made me seethe. 

 

She was away for about four weeks and strangely enough I didn't mind this, because I had the house to myself and I got to like it and thought about what I would do if I was single.

 

She came back and was barely speaking, however when I sat her down and said that I had put the house on the market, I was selling it and we were going to part company, she burst into tears and was like that for many days.

 

She knew exactly what was going to happen if this silent treatment continued, and it happened.

 

This was about five or six years ago and I still see her and actually sponsor and take care of her daughter, putting her through high school and university as well as providing the ex g/f with a sizeable amount of money to keep her going.

 

About a month ago I was talking to her and said that I was completely puzzled about why she had gone silent and would she care to explain now that everything was over.......... was it something I had done, did she think I had a Mia Noi, was she having an affair on the side, and just about everything else I could think of.

 

Her answer surprised me and it went something like this............. "that was just me and if you can't understand me and what I do, then so be it".

 

So nothing I could have done to have prevented all this, and nothing that she can explain in reality, but I have been single now for all of those years and really do like my single life, because I don't have to put up with all that crap.

That's really childish though and the reasoning for the car seems like you played right into her hands. You should have stood your ground. Bringing her daughter into the issue with the prostration is awful too. Fair play for helping her child but this woman sounds  very childish. Good call to cancel it.

[Hamuraii]

Well she did it again, in a new awesome style.

 

We where talking, she was on her phone, and a farang name popped, up, text on the screen wrote, 'awww, so your still unhappy' right in my face.

 

I asked her, who is this guy ?, instant story about oh its just this guys that I used to know and he has as gf, they are having arguments, smile.

 

Instant knowing, she was emotional from last Sunday, on 'Line' some farang saw the easy pickup and went for the kill.

 

Come this Thursday, at her place, she's shifting over a notebook, handwritten in her language, but failed to write the Farang at the top, she failed to notice me seeing this.

 

20min later, she cancels our weekend activities, stating she needs to help out 'farang name here' due to banking issue, need to go to police station, to translate' I called her on the lie, that its a bank to bank issue, you just ask the bank to sort out the error, no need to get the police into the matter, she quickly fell into another lie, stating it was a pre paid card and by accident a random person got installed the funds, -ok she's so full of shit and really bad at this.

 

To day, get a text, Sorry Will be Very Busy to Day, Sorry if I don't answer text until 'late'  send 15:00 

 

@ 20:00ish I sent her a text, how is the date going ?

 

got reply that quickly got deleted.

 

Asked how are you doing later on, no reply.

 

Hey chav sudden new bf, Farang m8, if your reading this, have fun this weekend with my gf, this evening and to morrow in the 'bank' 

 

LOL 

 

 

 

[isaanbanhou]

46 minutes ago, Hamuraii said:

Hey chav sudden new bf, Farang m8, if your reading this, have fun this weekend with my gf, this evening and to morrow in the 'bank' 

Got a feeling she is more than just your girlfriend or to put it another way, you may well be one of her boyfriends

[MaeJoMTB]

5 hours ago, Hamuraii said:

Instant knowing, she was emotional from last Sunday, on 'Line' some farang saw the easy pickup and went for the kill.

Nah, she's been seeing this guy for months.

Walk away, new SIM, new email address, never contact her again, don't even say goodbye.

 

Needy SMS/txt ......... I did say not to, but you don't listen.

There's 1,000,000 nicer Thai girls waiting to meet you.

[Hamuraii]

http://www.madcow.club/images/memes/20/al-bundy-dont-understand-women-meme.jpg 

 

 

 

[ncc1701d]

On 2/3/2018 at 8:36 AM, MaeJoMTB said:

Nah, she's been seeing this guy for months.

Walk away, new SIM, new email address, never contact her again, don't even say goodbye.

 

Needy SMS/txt ......... I did say not to, but you don't listen.

There's 1,000,000 nicer Thai girls waiting to meet you.

This 100%

 

if you try and vent and explain why etc she will talk you out of it. Do yourself a favour and just leave and block.

[xylophone]

On 03/02/2018 at 1:58 AM, Hamuraii said:

Well she did it again, in a new awesome style.

 

We where talking, she was on her phone, and a farang name popped, up, text on the screen wrote, 'awww, so your still unhappy' right in my face.

 

I asked her, who is this guy ?, instant story about oh its just this guys that I used to know and he has as gf, they are having arguments, smile.

 

Instant knowing, she was emotional from last Sunday, on 'Line' some farang saw the easy pickup and went for the kill.

 

Come this Thursday, at her place, she's shifting over a notebook, handwritten in her language, but failed to write the Farang at the top, she failed to notice me seeing this.

 

20min later, she cancels our weekend activities, stating she needs to help out 'farang name here' due to banking issue, need to go to police station, to translate' I called her on the lie, that its a bank to bank issue, you just ask the bank to sort out the error, no need to get the police into the matter, she quickly fell into another lie, stating it was a pre paid card and by accident a random person got installed the funds, -ok she's so full of shit and really bad at this.

 

To day, get a text, Sorry Will be Very Busy to Day, Sorry if I don't answer text until 'late'  send 15:00 

 

@ 20:00ish I sent her a text, how is the date going ?

 

got reply that quickly got deleted.

 

Asked how are you doing later on, no reply.

 

Hey chav sudden new bf, Farang m8, if your reading this, have fun this weekend with my gf, this evening and to morrow in the 'bank' 

 

LOL 

 

 

 

I don't understand why you are putting yourself through this, because there is no need to, and as others have said you have a choice and there are many other good ladies out there, perhaps much more suited to you than this one.

But then again maybe you revel in the pain and heartache/misery that this girl inflicts upon you, along with the rollercoaster and mind games, and of never knowing quite what she's doing, where she is or with whom?





 

[ncc1701d]

5 hours ago, xylophone said:

I don't understand why you are putting yourself through this, because there is no need to, and as others have said you have a choice and there are many other good ladies out there, perhaps much more suited to you than this one.

But then again maybe you revel in the pain and heartache/misery that this girl inflicts upon you, along with the rollercoaster and mind games, and of never knowing quite what she's doing, where she is or with whom?





 

Agree with you. Though some people find it hard to take a step back and try and see everything from an outsiders perspective because you feel you’ve invested too much (time or money or whatever).

[theguyfromanotherforum]

6 hours ago, xylophone said:

I don't understand why you are putting yourself through this
 

 

There is a certain self inflicting pain that you have to go through.

 

Myself, I'd take it until the end just to make sure, without a grain of doubt that the person is truly awful and heartless. It helps with being emotionless and less involved with later relationships when you take it like a bitch. 

 

I just hope his next post won't be "it's all my fault" again.

[Hamuraii]

Just wanted to keep the thread alive for abit longer, took advice from the posters above last few days ago.

 

Went Serpico 

[harrymcgarry]

They can just switch off like a light

[rumak]

On 1/30/2018 at 2:03 PM, MaeJoMTB said:

Never do needy!

Never ask what's wrong!

 

Walk away, let them run after you, if they don't there are plenty more to have a go with.

MTB........these are Farangs you're talking to !    they don't get it   

[rumak]

On 1/30/2018 at 2:03 PM, MaeJoMTB said:

Never do needy!

Never ask what's wrong!

 

Walk away, let them run after you, if they don't there are plenty more to have a go with.

MTB........these are Farangs you're talking to !    they don't get it   

[lucifer666]

Ohh Not again,,,, Get a life ,,<deleted>... I'm getting so sick and tired of reading about your sad little live's on TVF... She's a whore, get over it !!!!!

[Kimber]

On ‎3‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 10:36 AM, MaeJoMTB said:

Nah, she's been seeing this guy for months.

Walk away, new SIM, new email address, never contact her again, don't even say goodbye.

 

Needy SMS/txt ......... I did say not to, but you don't listen.

There's 1,000,000 nicer Thai girls waiting to meet you.

Yep, it's not as if a reasonably sane male needs the drama is it.