Thai wife problems

[Odysseus123]

An interesting discussion.

 

Upon reflection-and hindsight is a wonderful thing-I would never try the ":white knight" approach again in Thailand.

 

I saw far too many marriages (including my own) go belly up as the "rescuer".slowly,inexorably, became the "victim" and the "victim" became the "persecutor" -usually with the aid of their family and their 642 "facebook" friends.

 

I will rent next time.

Edited March 24, 2018 by Odysseus123

[Rayfish]

It isn't normal to bombard a woman with multiple messages in a period of a few hours demanding she contact you.  You sound like a very needy  and insecure individual. If a  Thai woman did this to me, I would bounce. Normal women have the same reaction to guys like that. 
 
Why is this the woman's fault? I believe you scared her and she did the right thing in avoiding you. Thais avoid confrontation and do not wish to hurt people's feeling so they do not come right out and say, who, ese you are creepy, go away. they just ignore and move on.
 
I suggest you seek out a life skills coach or therapist and discuss your needs and emotions. This expert will walk you through how to establish healthy stable relationships.

Nonsense , she is a goldigger and found a falang with more money. Ask too many questions and you are too much trouble to juggle with the other 5 or 6 suckers. Grow some balls or stay home .Here is not the place for sentiment . I should know I had to build a house in isaan to learn this lesson.


Sent from my SM-G9287C using Tapatalk

[sanemax]

9 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

An interesting discussion.

Upon reflection-and hindsight is a wonderful thing-I would never try the ":white knight" approach again in Thailand.

I saw far too many marriages (including my own) go belly up as the "rescuer".slowly,inexorably, became the "victim" and the "victim" became the "persecutor" -usually with the aid of their family and their 642 "facebook" friends.

You may view yourself as being the white knight in shinning armor coming to rescue a damsel in distress .

   But the family in the village , will resent you , unless you keep them in a regular supply of money , a regular supply that happened before you "rescued" her .

   Her friends will either be envious of her or annoyed because its one less of the gang who go out drinking together .

   She will get bored with her new lifestye and get envious of her friends posting on FB with 10 000 Baht in their hand .

   You will end up being resented by everyone , including her

[Odysseus123]

2 minutes ago, sanemax said:

You may view yourself as being the white knight in shinning armor coming to rescue a damsel in distress .

   But the family in the village , will resent you , unless you keep them in a regular supply of money , a regular supply that happened before you "rescued" her .

   Her friends will either be envious of her or annoyed because its one less of the gang who go out drinking together .

   She will get bored with her new lifestye and get envious of her friends posting on FB with 10 000 Baht in their hand .

   You will end up being resented by everyone , including her

True.

 

I thought about saying much more but TRUE covers it,I think.

[transam]

5 minutes ago, sanemax said:

You may view yourself as being the white knight in shinning armor coming to rescue a damsel in distress .

   But the family in the village , will resent you , unless you keep them in a regular supply of money , a regular supply that happened before you "rescued" her .

   Her friends will either be envious of her or annoyed because its one less of the gang who go out drinking together .

   She will get bored with her new lifestye and get envious of her friends posting on FB with 10 000 Baht in their hand .

   You will end up being resented by everyone , including her

Some of what you say is true, but most know that Thai birds tell lies about how much the farang guy gives them...Some birds take it in but some birds know they are talking crap..

[Odysseus123]

10 minutes ago, transam said:

Some of what you say is true, but most know that Thai birds tell lies about how much the farang guy gives them...Some birds take it in but some birds know they are talking crap..

Yes,there are sensible Thai women but others are astoundingly greedy.I knew one that had worked her way thru two profitable"farang" marriages-saw them both into their graves-and simply could not stop and just lit up like a Christmas tree whenever a potential victim came in sight.

 

The last I saw of her she was working on a Swedish fellow to give her money to fix the Mercedes..

 

The son was in jail,of course.

 

No more extraneous baggage for me.

Edited March 25, 2018 by Odysseus123

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Yes,there are sensible Thai women but others are astoundingly greedy.I knew one that had worked her way thru two profitable"farang" marriages-saw them both into their graves-and simply could not stop and just lit up like a Christmas tree whenever a potential victim came in sight.

 

The last I saw of her she was working on a Swedish fellow to give her money to fix the Mercedes..

 

The son was in jail,of course.

 

No more extraneous baggage for me.

As long as she gave them the "ride of their lives" and they were happy, sounds like a win win situation.

I'd be more than happy to be shagged to death.

[baboon]

On 31/07/2017 at 1:25 PM, Baerboxer said:

I'm sorry to tell you that telling lies isn't regarded the same here as in the West. There is an expectation you will believe whatever is said and that lying for convenience is acceptable. The fact, once caught out, their credibility is blown, and you wonder how many past lies you missed, totally escapes them.

 

They are also not averse to changing things if they feel they can get better elsewhere. Don't expect loyalty. Whilst they can get their own way, be pampered, spoiled and not have to bother doing things - all is fine. As their ambitions grow then they simply outgrow the current farang and want to move upwards. 

 

Put it down to experience, and learning. Don't want what's already lost. It won't come back.

 

 

 

 

I stumbled upon this thread but yes. As soon as you do not live up to expectations no matter how lofty, that's it. Perhaps not violent rages, but a permanent living icon of a tormented Christ dying on the cross and an 'up to you' response to any and every overture which is emotionally exhausting in itself. Once there, you've had it either way.

[Shiver]

On 3/24/2018 at 6:16 PM, MaeJoMTB said:

.

.

Agreed

As far as I can see 'feminism' ended 'normal' relationships. The risks and costs just ain't worth even trying these days.

Wrt risk, I guess that old investment advice applies  "only invest what you can afford to lose".

I've done many millions on my gf/mia, but I gave it freely.  I don''t own much of anything here, and nor do I want to.  She's very dutiful, but if the scale were 1-10 with the dog being 10, I'd be about 4.  In fact everything else would be about a 4 (her brother, her friends etc).  Suits me fine as long as she's available when requested for food/clothing/taxi etc.  I like a lot of my time to be solo so I can study whatever interests me at the time, plus a bit of time being silly hanging out with friends,  be they Thai or ex-pat.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, Shiver said:

Wrt risk, I guess that old investment advice applies  "only invest what you can afford to lose".

I've done many millions on my gf/mia, but I gave it freely.  I don''t own much of anything here, and nor do I want to.  She's very dutiful, but if the scale were 1-10 with the dog being 10, I'd be about 4.  In fact everything else would be about a 4 (her brother, her friends etc).  Suits me fine as long as she's available when requested for food/clothing/taxi etc.  I like a lot of my time to be solo so I can study whatever interests me at the time, plus a bit of time being silly hanging out with friends,  be they Thai or ex-pat.

 

Sounds like you are paying to have someone available when you want her to be available and go away when you don't want her around.

I don't have a problem with that, and you seem to have it sussed.

Good that you don't overestimate your importance in her universe though.

I admit that I felt aggrieved when my wife dumped me despite everything I'd done for her, but I should have known better. I was hardly a newbie when I met her.

The lesson was hard, but money and stuff do not elicit gratitude here. I still have no idea as to what does, and doubt I'll ever find out.

[Shiver]

On 3/27/2018 at 3:05 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

Sounds like you are paying to have someone available when you want her to be available and go away when you don't want her around.

I don't have a problem with that, and you seem to have it sussed.

Good that you don't overestimate your importance in her universe though.

I admit that I felt aggrieved when my wife dumped me despite everything I'd done for her, but I should have known better. I was hardly a newbie when I met her.

The lesson was hard, but money and stuff do not elicit gratitude here. I still have no idea as to what does, and doubt I'll ever find out.

That's pretty much it.  I gave up long ago hoping for a deep and meaningful, but we make a good team,  It does escalate the value of my friends though,

 

[DonnyT]

On 3/27/2018 at 3:05 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

The lesson was hard, but money and stuff do not elicit gratitude here. I still have no idea as to what does, and doubt I'll ever find out.

A woman, a dog and a walnut tree, the more you beat them, the better they be.

(Aesop's fables)

Edited March 29, 2018 by DonnyT

[Thongkorn]

Why stay with a woman that does not want to talk with you after not seeing them for a long while. Been there done that , she was with a customer. 

[jenny2017]

Guys I'm 35 but I never felt like this. We were just the best mates. We had the same interest, like the music, traveling and even sex preferences.

 

   Okay, answering to a thread from last year, but I had the feeling that I read the words of a 14 year old boy and not a grown man.

 

 

 

       

[globalspark]

Count your lucky stars you found out when you did.from experience most are liers.most men are to stupid to pick up the scams but you were smarter

[zoza]

mmmm never fails to bring a smile the ''my wife could not be better'' and ''i have been happily  married now 4/6/8 years''. from experience it does not matter how long -how good- how you have this special relationship. what matters is the wife's situation at any moment in time, and with some they do not control what happens

in their lives. 

i have been married happily for 14 years and i took her and her three kids on board

as is usual the Thai father was only interested to see if i would give him any money, nothing for his children.  

two months ago we had a bit of a tiff, and instead of getting a taxi with me she decided to go for a drink with two girls out of the bar we were in.

next morning she was packing her bags and in a foul temper, which to be honest had been appearing more and more of late (menopause?) any way she shot off to her village, she was on the phone asking if i was going to run after her.

after about four weeks i noticed her tone had changed and her whole demeanor

had altered, it was strange as she was using terms i had never heard her use before, and it sounded like some one had been coaching her?

i had a few friends arriving in Pattaya and there were things that seemed a bit out of place as all of a sudden her name calling outbursts over the phone became ''you know i love you'' ''i will always love you''  very strange until i met my friend and he told me the wife had been phoning him??? (i had tried to phone him but he had his phone switched off , all the time? i had mentioned to the wife he was thinking of moving here and was ok money wise?) 

well it all fell into place first her three kids had all reached 21 yrs old so they would not need money (i said i would look after them till then)

all her kids and most of her family owed money to me, and had not paid one satang back, i had said no more as that is what we agreed before she started lending them money. they were all very greedy.

so i was basically a dry well as i had done my shift but obviously she first had to 

secure a new income stream for her family/kids so she got my friends number phoned him , but when he told her to phone me things went wrong....lol the whole

plan went wrong....so she tried the'' i love you because the plan isn't working'' and the calls to me kept increasing. until i informed her her game was up. she squealed her innocence, and that she had done nothing wrong....well not in LOS

may be...i have money in Thailand and the UK i do not spend it as it was for her

when i went west along with my pension which would of made her a well off girl

with no worries for her future.... but i am in touch with the pension providers to make sure her little chat with two unmarried bar girls who are 40 + will reap what it deserves...sad really but the education system here does not help. also none of it makes much sense really but you do find a lot of that about.     

Edited April 26, 2018 by zoza
sticky keys

[transam]

5 minutes ago, zoza said:

mmmm never fails to bring a smile the ''my wife could not be better'' and ''i have been happily  married now 4/6/8 years''. from experience it does not matter how long -how good- how you have this special relationship. what matters is the wife's situation at any moment in time, and with some they do not control what happens

in their lives. 

i have been married happily for 14 years and i took her and her three kids on board

as is usual the Thai father was only interested to see if i would give him any money, nothing for his children.  

two months ago we had a bit of a tiff, and instead of getting a taxi with me she decided to go for a drink with two girls out of the bar we were in.

next morning she was packing her bags and in a foul temper, which to be honest had been appearing more and more of late (menopause?) any way she shot off to her village, she was on the phone asking if i was going to run after her.

after about four weeks i noticed her tone had changed and her whole demeanor

had altered, it was strange as she was using terms i had never heard her use before, and it sounded like some one had been coaching her?

i had a few friends arriving in Pattaya and there were things that seemed a bit out of place as all of a sudden her name calling outbursts over the phone became ''you know i love you'' ''i will always love you''  very strange until i met my friend and he told me the wife had been phoning him??? (i had tried to phone him but he had his phone switched off , all the time? i had mentioned to the wife he was thinking of moving here and was ok money wise?) 

well it all fell into place first her three kids had all reached 21 yrs old so they would not need money (i said i would look after them till then)

all her kids and most of her family owed money to me, and had not paid one satang back, i had said no more as that is what we agreed before she started lending them money. they were all very greedy.

so i was basically a dry well as i had done my shift but obviously she first had to 

secure a new income stream for her family/kids so she got my friends number phoned him , but when he told her to phone me things went wrong....lol the whole

plan went wrong....so she tried the'' i love you because the plan isn't working'' and the calls to me kept increasing. until i informed her her game was up. she squealed her innocence, and that she had done nothing wrong....well not in LOS

may be...i have money in Thailand and the UK i do not spend it as it was for her

when i went west along with my pension which would of made her a well off girl

with no worries for her future.... but i am in touch with the pension providers to make sure her little chat with two unmarried bar girls who are 40 + will reap what it deserves...sad really but the education system here does not help.

none of it makes much sense really but you do find a lot of that about.     

I know of similar stuff....

 

One "lady" now sells cheap food on the side of the road....Paid a heavy price for being an ass....

[spidermike007]

The biggest part of the problem here, is the extreme emasculation that is taking place in the West. Most men, in the US, Europe, and Oz, are no longer real men, when it comes to dealing with their women. Their women have made their lives so difficult, and alot of women have gotten so far away from their innate femininity, and have become dominant, and super controlling, and men just go along with it. Most men have become so hungry for love, or emotionally desperate for some kindness, and TLC. And most are so desirous of being around a real woman, who knows how to act like a woman, and manifest the dignity, within femininity. So, it is easy for the con artists, to take advantage of emotionally wounded men, who seem to be willing to do anything to regain a semblance of normality in their lives, with a decent woman. 

 

The bottom line is this. Take your time getting to know a woman here, or anywhere. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. An environment like this allows us to do so. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. Start making the decisions, and stop saying "honey what do you want?". "What will make you happy?" "Where do you want to eat?" I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take charge. Someone has to.

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, or if she is a big baby, who only looks like a real woman, but in reality is a 13 year old, or if she is a con artist, if she is only in it for the money, those realizations will manifest themselves over time. Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most of these guys. Be like Bond. be a real man. Man up. Do yourself proud. 

 

[cornishcarlos]

7 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

The biggest part of the problem here, is the extreme emasculation that is taking place in the West. Most men, in the US, Europe, and Oz, are no longer real men, when it comes to dealing with their women. Their women have made their lives so difficult, and alot of women have gotten so far away from their innate femininity, and have become dominant, and super controlling, and men just go along with it. Most men have become so hungry for love, or emotionally desperate for some kindness, and TLC. And most are so desirous of being around a real woman, who knows how to act like a woman, and manifest the dignity, within femininity. So, it is easy for the con artists, to take advantage of emotionally wounded men, who seem to be willing to do anything to regain a semblance of normality in their lives, with a decent woman. 

 

The bottom line is this. Take your time getting to know a woman here, or anywhere. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. An environment like this allows us to do so. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. Start making the decisions, and stop saying "honey what do you want?". "What will make you happy?" "Where do you want to eat?" I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take charge. Someone has to.

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, or if she is a big baby, who only looks like a real woman, but in reality is a 13 year old, or if she is a con artist, if she is only in it for the money, those realizations will manifest themselves over time. Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most of these guys. Be like Bond. be a real man. Man up. Do yourself proud. 

 

 

Does your missus know you have written this :)

[spidermike007]

3 minutes ago, cornishcarlos said:

 

Does your missus know you have written this :)

No. But that does not matter. I took 9 years to get to know her, before we got married. We lived together for most of that time. And she was patient enough. I realize that is in the extreme. But, most men just do not show much patience. 

 

And yes, she is very comfortable having a man, who is willing to act and behave like a man. 

[transam]

6 minutes ago, cornishcarlos said:

 

Does your missus know you have written this :)

Hope not....

 

[cornishcarlos]

4 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

No. But that does not matter. I took 9 years to get to know her, before we got married. We lived together for most of that time. And she was patient enough. I realize that is in the extreme. But, most men just do not show much patience. 

 

And yes, she is very comfortable having a man, who is willing to act and behave like a man. 

 

I wasn't really bothered, it was a joke... :)

[transam]

3 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

No. But that does not matter. I took 9 years to get to know her, before we got married. We lived together for most of that time. And she was patient enough. I realize that is in the extreme. But, most men just do not show much patience. 

 

And yes, she is very comfortable having a man, who is willing to act and behave like a man. 

I had a UK wife for over 20 great years...You would not believe what she did to me that she was threatened with imprisonment...

[zoza]

i stayed for two years  before i got married ,she did not know anything about Pattaya, could not speak any English, would not speak unless asked directly, but a bit of wedding cake a few parties some money getting splashed about, and before long she has changed into a different person. 

 and as my mother used to say

'' put a beggar on horseback and they will ride to hell'' 

[bwpage3]

7 hours ago, zoza said:

mmmm never fails to bring a smile the ''my wife could not be better'' and ''i have been happily  married now 4/6/8 years''. from experience it does not matter how long -how good- how you have this special relationship. what matters is the wife's situation at any moment in time, and with some they do not control what happens

in their lives. 

i have been married happily for 14 years and i took her and her three kids on board

as is usual the Thai father was only interested to see if i would give him any money, nothing for his children.  

two months ago we had a bit of a tiff, and instead of getting a taxi with me she decided to go for a drink with two girls out of the bar we were in.

next morning she was packing her bags and in a foul temper, which to be honest had been appearing more and more of late (menopause?) any way she shot off to her village, she was on the phone asking if i was going to run after her.

after about four weeks i noticed her tone had changed and her whole demeanor

had altered, it was strange as she was using terms i had never heard her use before, and it sounded like some one had been coaching her?

i had a few friends arriving in Pattaya and there were things that seemed a bit out of place as all of a sudden her name calling outbursts over the phone became ''you know i love you'' ''i will always love you''  very strange until i met my friend and he told me the wife had been phoning him??? (i had tried to phone him but he had his phone switched off , all the time? i had mentioned to the wife he was thinking of moving here and was ok money wise?) 

well it all fell into place first her three kids had all reached 21 yrs old so they would not need money (i said i would look after them till then)

all her kids and most of her family owed money to me, and had not paid one satang back, i had said no more as that is what we agreed before she started lending them money. they were all very greedy.

so i was basically a dry well as i had done my shift but obviously she first had to 

secure a new income stream for her family/kids so she got my friends number phoned him , but when he told her to phone me things went wrong....lol the whole

plan went wrong....so she tried the'' i love you because the plan isn't working'' and the calls to me kept increasing. until i informed her her game was up. she squealed her innocence, and that she had done nothing wrong....well not in LOS

may be...i have money in Thailand and the UK i do not spend it as it was for her

when i went west along with my pension which would of made her a well off girl

with no worries for her future.... but i am in touch with the pension providers to make sure her little chat with two unmarried bar girls who are 40 + will reap what it deserves...sad really but the education system here does not help. also none of it makes much sense really but you do find a lot of that about.     

14 years of marriage and you are claiming one tiff set this whole thing off?

 

all her kids and most of her family owed money to me, and had not paid one satang back

 

Sounds like your were having problems all along and just didn't admit it.

 

That doesn't sound like being happily married to me?

[zoza]

10 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

14 years of marriage and you are claiming one tiff set this whole thing off?

 

all her kids and most of her family owed money to me, and had not paid one satang back

 

Sounds like your were having problems all along and just didn't admit it.

 

That doesn't sound like being happily married to me?

i would say that the argument was the spark but obviously we like all couples had our ups and downs, we were out with couples we had known for 16 years and i got the feeling some face was involved (bragging rights between the girls) we had not been out with them for years so there would of been a few look at me tales.

the loans had only came into this in the last few years, and as her kids got older they had more demands and had more to say about what the wife should be getting from the Farang.(her youngest used to rant at her down the phone daily.) 

are you another me and my wife are so together in everything we do? we never argue and we never disagree, and all the family treat me like a god....

well wellcome to issan lad. every farang who ever lived in the village is either skint or ran away before he was totally penniless.        

[bwpage3]

2 hours ago, zoza said:

i would say that the argument was the spark but obviously we like all couples had our ups and downs, we were out with couples we had known for 16 years and i got the feeling some face was involved (bragging rights between the girls) we had not been out with them for years so there would of been a few look at me tales.

the loans had only came into this in the last few years, and as her kids got older they had more demands and had more to say about what the wife should be getting from the Farang.(her youngest used to rant at her down the phone daily.) 

are you another me and my wife are so together in everything we do? we never argue and we never disagree, and all the family treat me like a god....

well wellcome to issan lad. every farang who ever lived in the village is either skint or ran away before he was totally penniless.        

You know, my wife is from a very tiny village in Isaan, but although we never lived there, visited many times.

 

Most of the people in that tiny village, survive cutting rice or sugarcane by hand and make 200 thb per day.

 

I guess it all comes down to the woman. Fortunately for me, my wife never asked me for much of anything. Never hung out in the bars and neither drink alcohol.

 

Her family consists of her father and 1 brother.

 

All the other relatives live all over the place. 

 

No loaning money,  However I was more than happy to help out where I could to make life easier for the FIL and brother in law including a rice farm (only 10 rai) and a tractor.

 

The rice farm makes enough to feed the FIL and relatives and that is about it. Every year I send over money at planting time, New Years and other occasions, which I have, and I am more than happy to do.

 

 

 

[zoza]

9 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

You know, my wife is from a very tiny village in Isaan, but although we never lived there, visited many times.

 

Most of the people in that tiny village, survive cutting rice or sugarcane by hand and make 200 thb per day.

 

I guess it all comes down to the woman. Fortunately for me, my wife never asked me for much of anything. Never hung out in the bars and neither drink alcohol.

 

Her family consists of her father and 1 brother.

 

All the other relatives live all over the place. 

 

No loaning money,  However I was more than happy to help out where I could to make life easier for the FIL and brother in law including a rice farm (only 10 rai) and a tractor.

 

The rice farm makes enough to feed the FIL and relatives and that is about it. Every year I send over money at planting time, New Years and other occasions, which I have, and I am more than happy to do.

 

 

 

we seem to have a few things in common except your wife never had to ask? as you were giving the money away ,just to help out but no loaning? i probably paid for twenty rai and two tractors. over the 14 years .

and with you sending money over at planting time, new years and other occasions. I think that even these greedy F**kers would struggle for an excuse for more funds.....sounds a bit ATM ish but each to their own. and chock dee lad.

 

there is one other Farang in this village Alan the millionaire...sorry Alan the x millionaire...he has shown me a list of Farangs who have been skinned by family in this part of issan. I can give you his email if you like horror stories.

his wife owns three farms it is known locally as the ''pondorosa'' (excuse spelling) he will talk you to for hours on the horror stories. but that is all he has left. 

Edited April 27, 2018 by zoza
sticky keys

[spidermike007]

11 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

You know, my wife is from a very tiny village in Isaan, but although we never lived there, visited many times.

 

Most of the people in that tiny village, survive cutting rice or sugarcane by hand and make 200 thb per day.

 

I guess it all comes down to the woman. Fortunately for me, my wife never asked me for much of anything. Never hung out in the bars and neither drink alcohol.

 

Her family consists of her father and 1 brother.

 

All the other relatives live all over the place. 

 

No loaning money,  However I was more than happy to help out where I could to make life easier for the FIL and brother in law including a rice farm (only 10 rai) and a tractor.

 

The rice farm makes enough to feed the FIL and relatives and that is about it. Every year I send over money at planting time, New Years and other occasions, which I have, and I am more than happy to do.

 

 

 

I suppose it just depends on the family. In my case, once I got to know my wife's family, I felt I could depend them. They seemed like really genuine, hard working, solid people. Her father is a smart man, and very industrious. He has tried many things, and was never able to make a good living. So, after a couple of years, I decided to put up the money for her family to open a mini mart, which was built on their land. It was their dream. They suggested I lend them the money, and I decided it was better to just give it to them as a gift, with the caveat that my woman gets a 50% interest. They agreed. I asked them to put together a plan, and they did. I put up 700,000 baht. They completed the building and started with bare bones inventory. They built it up, and ever since, they have made a living from the shop, and her father has parlayed the little bit of influence he got from the "town center" shop, into a paying position as some kind of county supervisor. A total success story all the way around.

 

Later I loaned money to her sister on occasion, and also her folks. It was always paid back. Maybe not always on time, but they were always good for it. Really decent people. Honored to be a part of her family, and also honored to have been able to help them get on their feet.

 

The real trick, as I have said before, is really taking your time getting to know your woman. I think the biggest mistake many guys make here is moving too fast. 

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7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I suppose it just depends on the family. In my case, once I got to know my wife's family, I felt I could depend them. They seemed like really genuine, hard working, solid people. Her father is a smart man, and very industrious. He has tried many things, and was never able to make a good living. So, after a couple of years, I decided to put up the money for her family to open a mini mart, which was built on their land. It was their dream. They suggested I lend them the money, and I decided it was better to just give it to them as a gift, with the caveat that my woman gets a 50% interest. They agreed. I asked them to put together a plan, and they did. I put up 700,000 baht. They completed the building and started with bare bones inventory. They built it up, and ever since, they have made a living from the shop, and her father has parlayed the little bit of influence he got from the "town center" shop, into a paying position as some kind of county supervisor. A total success story all the way around.

 

Later I loaned money to her sister on occasion, and also her folks. It was always paid back. Maybe not always on time, but they were always good for it. Really decent people. Honored to be a part of her family, and also honored to have been able to help them get on their feet.

 

The real trick, as I have said before, is really taking your time getting to know your woman. I think the biggest mistake many guys make here is moving too fast. 

Great advice. You have to really know your woman and her family. 

 

It's a great story and a happy ending, which are very possible, if you just marry the right woman with a good family.

 

I can really understand the "face" the father received from being a store owner after having nothing. 

 

There are some good people in Thailand who only need a chance.

 

Good story.