The week that was in Thailand news: Bringing Thai humor to the great unwashed.

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Bringing Thai humor to the great unwashed.

 

 

One of the last bastions of knowing a language and culture is to appreciate the humor of a country and its people. In this regard Rooster is unashamedly proud to admit almost total and overwhelming defeat in Thailand.

I get the Australian humor – all those dunnies and tucker. And I am pleased to say I titter along with Americans rather than the usual habit of laughing AT them. But this is in a language by and large that my Cockney mother and even my French born pater passed onto me.

Being able to get to grips with Thai humor has the decidedly extra problem of being in a completely foreign language. This is one I excel at but I am invariably left cold especially when the punch-line comes; which is of course the main point of any joke!

In the 1980s I had already gained a fair fluency in the basics of the Thai vernacular when I found myself at the front of the audience by the stage at Villa Café when legendary comic “Note Chernyim” began his routine.

His first sharp remark was directed at me – the only farang in the audience - and with what Thai I had I was able to counter and get a good ripple from the crowd.

However, that was the end of my career as a Thai funny man – every subsequent witticism went completely over my head despite nearly all of them being at my expense. I should have got a refund on my drinks for giving Note such an easy night!

The crowd loved it and I grinned pretending to understand. Certainly, I had understood most of the lead-up to the cracks but when it came to the punch-line I was colder than yesterday’s som tam put mistakenly in the fridge.

I have always thought of it as a poignant metaphor for most of my confusion about Thailand! Not always appreciating the intricacies of Thai news, that is. I know very well about not putting som tam in the fridge.

Fortunately, the whistles and funny noises usually remind me when to crack a grimace if not paying full attention to the missus’s intellectual fare on Channel 7.

I worry not about my humor deficiencies. There is so much more to laugh at in Thailand that can be garnered through the English language what with the Thaivisa site playing an increasing role in bringing hilarious Thai news to the great unwashed – as the Thais so often believe us foreigners to be.

And this week was no different with everyone from the rich and famous to the down and out – and all the Chinese in between - giving us a barrel of belly laughs.

Champion of chortle – though some thought it deadly serious – was the story of a 20 year old Chinese tourist in Pattaya who tried to kill himself by running into traffic after his mum denied him a Big Mac.

Police in QUOTES (the Queen of the Eastern Seaboard) were obliged to take the “Luuk Thaweda”, or Angel Child as the Thais refer to their most obnoxious offspring, into the station to calm down.

Some forum posters said it was autism. I’ll go with the term my mum taught me – spoilt brat.

Humor was also rife on the forum as posters had a field day responding to the headline of the week noting that Eastenders’ star Paul Nicholls who fell down a waterfall in Samui feared he would be “brown bread”.

The term, familiar to most English people as Cockney rhyming slang meaning “dead”, confused many posters who clearly hail from across distant ponds.

Some wicked posters on the less regulated platform of Thaivisa’s Facebook page referred to these poor Trump-land souls as “septics” deliberately creating further confusion.

The septics (Septic Tank-Yank if you didn’t know) said we were all wrong. Mr Nicholls was simply “toast”, well almost.

Of course, amid the semantic sniggering, everyone had forgotten about Mr Nicholls and his busted knee though the Thais turned up with the obligatory baskets of fruit just in case the god of tourism had been offended.

Hardly funny at least at first was the woman who had the last laugh after finding one million baht on a bus that she dutifully returned to its owner. The stingy rotter rewarded her not with a fair percentage but a couple of bags of cheap candy.

Forum curmudgeons forget their current campaign to dismiss all cases of Thai human decency as a tourism ministry inspired plot in league with Thaivisa to hoodwink the masses, as they sided with the downtrodden poor against the much hated rich.

Finally, a retired Chula professor stepped up to the plate to give the conductress a big check for 15,000 baht and even 5K to the driver of the bus.

Rooster came out of the affair smelling of roses too after telling the misses who showed interest in the story that “she was my eye candy and worth a million to me”.

She raised an eyebrow that it was just a million but appreciated the compliment all the same.

The laughs continued unabated at what a Thaivisa colleague referred to as “the gift that keeps on giving with regard to news” – he was, of course, referring to every journalist’s best pal, Pattaya.

Whether it was Shadenfreude sniggers or head shaking “hua-roh” QUOTES was on hand to keep our spare ribs tickled and covered in sauce.

Perhaps we shouldn’t have smiled at the Chinese man relieved of his 150,000 baht platinum necklace by lady boys but who would not “have their teeth fall out laughing” (as the Thais say) by the police suggestion that they would do something about it.

The chuckle-a-thon continued when those same upholders of all that is fair and just rumbled an E-fag seller and took in all his merchandise as evidence promising him a five year stretch.

Doubtless for the shocking crime of helping people give up regular cancer sticks – that are properly taxed by our noble government of course.

Confirming that it was a terrible week for the Chinese was the arrest of a Shanghai skinny dipper who the Thais on the late night beach thought was a ghost. The “Creature from the Black Lagoon” headline may have been unkind on the woman but there was no doubting its accuracy when referring to the sludge previously known as sea.

Related to which, Sophon stepped up their campaign to name and shame producing a video – in stark black and white no less – that might have the bods at tourism and sports tearing up their plans for the resort in frustration!

Or just jailing the Sophon execs for defaming a beach, of course.

Officialdom also gave us a guffaw-fest with PM Prayut and Chief of Police (COP) Chakthip headlining the hoots.

Prayut told protesters to stay away from Yingluck’s “sentencing” when he might have used the word “judgment” in the rice scandal.

While COP topped the titter-o-meter with his latest explanation as to why Red Bull Boss is still a free man swanning at Silverstone and Sepang.

Essentially no one could be found in Thailand to translate the word “extradition”, a statement so feeble that it inspired my favorite forum comment of the week from exasperated “Prbkk” who said, and I paraphrase: “Oh please…..the public is not so gullible to buy these excuses”.

Indeed Prbkk, but at least the whole sordid saga keeps us amused – that’s the main thing as justice is soooo boring……My two baht’s worth is that having Boss back will lead to the police increasingly facing those nasty questions about what exactly happened in the days following officer Wichien’s death in 2012.

If Boss does ever return, it will be more to do with the shaming potential of Mark Zuckerberg’s hobby than the real wishes of the RTP.

Related and never far from the news – as a national joke and a national tragedy – was the carnage on the roads. Not that any more, or less, died on the Thai racetracks this week just that Bloomberg is apparently helping the authorities in Bangkok to cut victims in half by 2019.

Funny, I thought that was the job of those Americans arrested in Sukhumvit last year with a mate chopped up in the freezer.

No, Bloomberg said they had pinpointed what was wrong – in a nut shell (“nutcase more like” as Basil Fawlty once observed) the problem is one of speed, drinking, seatbelts and helmets.

Cheers Einstein – and thanks for leaving out the embarrassing bit – namely law enforcement. We can clearly work with you Bloomberg to turn 600 deaths into 300 and we’ll all be as happy as larry.

Just one Rooster award this week. The simple “Brilliant Kid” award goes to Thai/German boy Stefan Quint. This inspirational secondary school pupil suffering from Hodgkin’s lymphoma was invited on TV after winning a gold medal at a maths Olympiad in Singapore.

Apart from the well-spoken young man himself, seeing his brilliant and caring parents and teacher on a well-produced, poignant yet unsensational TV show reminded me of all the good things in Thailand. And bless you Stef for doing it all with a cheeky teenage smile on your face.

Finally, I noted with personal interest that July 29th was Thai Language Day; I was surprised such a commemoration existed despite the fact the language is on track to become the world’s most spoken tongue before even police corruption is ended.

One of Thai’s greatest proponents, the dear five star PM, was at the center of one of the newest slang additions this year popular with teens. Apparently “lamyai” – the name of the twerking dancer that his generalness was so peeved with – has lent her name to a new word meaning to be furious.

Perhaps showing what little I know of Thai humor, wouldn’t the verb “to prayut” have been more appropriate for blowing a blood vessel.

Now that would have been funny.

 

Rooster

 

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-07-30

[Thaiwrath]

10 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Thai humor

Surely an oxymoron ?

[Aussie69]

Great column as always

[Orton Rd]

Ah Villa Cafe those were the days, saw Ying Yong, Sayan Sanyar and other singers there. I have been the target so many times I pretend to be busy with a camera or asleep when about to be targeted by 'comics' Usually it starts with where you come from, if you answer in Thai I come from my house that always gets a laugh. Thankfully comic routines seem to be on the decline in recent years. I have been on the MuM show with the mrs, one of the best known comics. The part before ours seemed to be getting laughs about sniffing armpits, I told him I did not know who he was, another laugh, well they laugh at anything, hitting each other on the head and word jokes were always something I never understood.

Edited July 30, 2017 by Orton Rd

[rkidlad]

I watched that stand up comedian who always wears the hat and looks like Jackie Chan. I knew it would be rubbish but I gave it a try anyway. 

 

Anyhoo, he starts talkIng about maths. Why do we learn Pythagoras theory, etc. Why would we ever need that. Then suddenly some Thai words start rolling along the bottom of the screen. I asked my missus what it meant and she said "maths is important. You should study maths and take it seriously". That was it for me. No more Thai comedy. Even in comedy the powers that be won't leave you alone and stop treating you like a naive kid.

 

Comedy for me is about not taking things seriously. Mocking and making fun of things that take themselves too seriously. Oh, at the end of the show he thanked all the sponsors. Told the audience about some paint that he highly recommends. He used on his own house and it's top drawer paint. I was waiting for the punch line but unfortunately he was being serious. He was actually standing there promoting paint. 

[rijb]

Titter?  You misspelled Twitter.

[Orton Rd]

Thailand needs a version of spitting image, now that would be funny, only the makers would soon be doing lengthy jail sentences, Thailand is not a funny place.

[inThailand]

For some looking in the mirror is not too funny!

[Commercial Diver]

7 hours ago, Thaiwrath said:

Surely an oxymoron ?

I don't read drivel

[Lupatria]

18 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Perhaps showing what little I know of Thai humor, wouldn’t the verb “to prayut” have been more appropriate for blowing a blood vessel.

I fully agree with your post,- it is 100% true! So I'm glad you did not try "to prayut" your readers...

[Stoker58]

Thai humour can be summed up in the words "boing" and "wheee".

[1happykamper]

I have yet to hear Thai humour. I SEE it every day. Well, it makes me smile or chuckle.. a lot.

[inThailand]

Isn't the childish Thai Tv shows the most popular humour in the country? 

[Artisi]

Thai humour is about as funny as the washer woman getting her tits caught in the mangle. 

[Lucky mike]

Think the English humour writers can sleep easy.....?

[Jane Dough]

9 hours ago, Commercial Diver said:

I don't read drivel

What is your definition of drivel?

[xen]

It drives me absolutely batty all those bells, gongs, whistles and canned laughter that are on Thai television shows - something not unlike Buster Keaton or any other silent comedy show from 100 years ago. I must admit i started getting bored with that slapstick humour very early on in life but each to their own and we do need laughter and amusement in our lives . Even my step kids sit at the dinner table ,or preparing meals ,are with their mobile phones transmitting these shows from the web of the Thai / Japanese cartoon shows or the Thai slapstick comedy shows. It seems if there are Thais in your circle you just have to learn to live with it the best  way you can. You cannot change them .