The Definitive Answer to "Does she really love me?"

[swissie]

7 hours ago, smotherb said:

"In the early stages of "relationship-building", few Farang/Thai couples are capable of conversing in proper English or proper Thai."

 

I agree many farang-Thai relationships cannot carry-on even a light conversation and I wonder how they exist, but many do. However, farangs who are looking for an intelligent responsible Thai woman often encounter Thai women who have responsible positions in industry which require a command of English or other foreign languages.  I know many Thai women who can carry-on conversations in other languages, but I do know many more who cannot. 

Well Herb, I am having a slow day, so I had time to dwell on this "Language-Thing" some more.

Could it be, that Fellatio and Cunnilingus is some kind of international language? Making verbal communication unnecessary in the early stages of "Relationship-Building"?
Cheers.

[smotherb]

3 hours ago, Dene16 said:

yes, and i am very happy for both of you having worked out for the better

Probably it was the brains that has kept you together appreciating each others intellectual ability.

However was that, each others, initial attraction?. Hers being beauty with brains and yours being the ability to provide what she needed.

You are evidence to the contrary but also in the extreme minority

Hope it continues to last (hard not to after all this time)

 

 

 

Certainly, I had money, but she was no impoverished lass. She was a bookkeeper at the same company I was a software engineer. I was still in my thirties and cleaned-up rather well.

 

I don't think we are such an extreme minority; it's the 20 years I find easy. Men in their 40's should still be able to attract a woman in her 20's. When the years get to 30, 40 or more; the equation makes less sense.

 

However, I still think if the older man has more to offer a younger woman than just money, he can find a relationship based on something other than just money. 

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, swissie said:

Well Herb, I am having a slow day, so I had time to dwell on this "Language-Thing" some more.

Could it be, that Fellatio and Cunnilingus is some kind of international language? Making verbal communication unnecessary in the early stages of "Relationship-Building"?
Cheers.

Not sure sie, but I might agree. During the earlier stages of a relationship--like between payment of the barfine and consummation of the deed--an in-depth conversation may be unnecessary. However,  breakfast the next day may get a little awkward.

[Mac98]

She wants me to give her boy English and swim lessons but won't let me help financially. She says, "I can take care of my boy". 

[binjalin]

14 hours ago, GreasyFingers said:

What if you gave her the first orgasm she ever had. Sex, not love yes, but the two are connected.

Utterly, utterly UNCONNECTED

[Dene16]

10 hours ago, smotherb said:

Men in their 40's should still be able to attract a woman in her 20's. When the years get to 30, 40 or more; the equation makes less sense.

yes i could go for that plus you met at work and had time to establish a rapport of sorts but most men in their forties ( no one is the same) will definitely have a different mind set than a girl in her twenties. Attract and keep being 2 separate entities

As for the older man having more to offer than money for me is unlikely

How many times do you see the most beautiful young woman with ageing rock stars and actors 

Do you believe they are with them for their looks and personality 

Lets face it, this has been tried and tested on so many TV programmes and youtube  to prove young women's materialistic attitudes (western attitudes i should add) 

[smotherb]

48 minutes ago, Dene16 said:

yes i could go for that plus you met at work and had time to establish a rapport of sorts but most men in their forties ( no one is the same) will definitely have a different mind set than a girl in her twenties. Attract and keep being 2 separate entities

As for the older man having more to offer than money for me is unlikely

How many times do you see the most beautiful young woman with ageing rock stars and actors 

Do you believe they are with them for their looks and personality 

Lets face it, this has been tried and tested on so many TV programmes and youtube  to prove young women's materialistic attitudes (western attitudes i should add) 

I tend to agree than most older men have little more than money to offer younger women. however, why limit your self to that category, develop your interesting side, if you have one. 

 

I disagree about celebrities.  Many aging rock stars and actresses marry younger rock stars, actresses, and other professional well-to-do women--methinks they have something else to offer.

[whaleboneman]

On 8/2/2017 at 4:53 PM, canuckamuck said:

A solid 10 out of 10 for me from that list, so I guess Kinnock has given the seal of approval to my relationship. Not so sure the cargo shorts thing is relevant. Certainly sometimes you shouldn't wear them. Like 2 or three days a month maybe.

The gold shop thing is probably a thing for many here, but my wife actually hates gold, she says it is ugly, and I agree, It does nothing for me, it's for investment or for people with low self esteem.

 

Also for people with bad teeth.

[binjalin]

20 hours ago, smotherb said:

I tend to agree than most older men have little more than money to offer younger women. however, why limit your self to that category, develop your interesting side, if you have one. 

 

I disagree about celebrities.  Many aging rock stars and actresses marry younger rock stars, actresses, and other professional well-to-do women--methinks they have something else to offer.

Yes that's true fame is seductive and many a young thing will be drawn to that hoping a little rubs off. But we are not rock stars are we?

 

In a more challenging clime, like Asia, money is THE honey and the more mature one is can equate to more Dosh for the Tosh.

Edited August 5, 2017 by binjalin

[mikiea]

On 8/2/2017 at 7:04 PM, Chou Anou said:

re: #4: if she wants you to stop dressing like a little boy and instead dress like a man, I'd say she definitely genuinely cares about you

who compares men to boys ?  rhhh....other then you ....

[mikiea]

On 8/2/2017 at 7:47 PM, Been there done that said:

Re 9: Does she like,  or encourages, it that you read books about thai and foreign relationships and /or the thai female mindset.

who wrote the above questions ? ann landers  ? get a grip dude 

[mikiea]

On 8/2/2017 at 8:48 PM, Berkshire said:

If she doesn't speak your language and you don't speak hers, she does not love you. 

wow ....how did you learn to read minds ? people want to know about your talent ....

[mikiea]

On 8/2/2017 at 8:56 PM, Been there done that said:

Following your logic, the men originating from non english speaking countries have almost zero chance then 

hey ... do not listen to birkshire  , he only talks to lil birkshire  , his problem is as with many men , ....the confusion between lust and love . that type lusts after women but demand love in return . all thai women know this , the thing is thai men are samo samo  as the pasty white old fart .

Edited August 5, 2017 by mikiea

[mikiea]

On 8/4/2017 at 8:18 AM, binjalin said:

Utterly, utterly UNCONNECTED

hahaha hahaha... who told greasy finger's he was the first orgasm giver ? hahaha hahaha hahaha  and he believed her  ?

....hahaha hahaha hahaha ... oh stop it hurts  , please stop  hahaha hahaha

[oldhippy]

5 minutes ago, mikiea said:

hahaha hahaha... who told greasy finger's he was the first orgasm giver ? hahaha hahaha hahaha  and he believed her  ?

....hahaha hahaha hahaha ... oh stop it hurts  , please stop  hahaha hahaha

That could of course mean 2 things:

1/ he was not the first

2/ he was not

In both scenarios he believed her.

 

I agree with the hahaha in both scenarios.

 

[smotherb]

5 hours ago, binjalin said:

Yes that's true fame is seductive and many a young thing will be drawn to that hoping a little rubs off. But we are not rock stars are we?

 

In a more challenging clime, like Asia, money is THE honey and the more mature one is can equate to more Dosh for the Tosh.

I was not suggesting we are all rock stars, I was responding to Dene16's post where he said aging rock stars get young women and I said yes, they also get young rock stars and other well-to-do women, so there must be some other attraction. You now say fame, well, other rock stars have fame too.

 

I believe I have always had things to offer women other than money and I have been very lucky with women. I suggest maybe too many of you simply have no confidence in yourselves--confidence you know, may also interest some women.

[binjalin]

1 hour ago, smotherb said:

I was not suggesting we are all rock stars, I was responding to Dene16's post where he said aging rock stars get young women and I said yes, they also get young rock stars and other well-to-do women, so there must be some other attraction. You now say fame, well, other rock stars have fame too.

 

I believe I have always had things to offer women other than money and I have been very lucky with women. I suggest maybe too many of you simply have no confidence in yourselves--confidence you know, may also interest some women.

I am a big game player and understand women very well having been, and still are, very successful. You misunderstood my post I was implying charisma etc. which is the biggest turn-on for women. However no money no honey rings truest in asia.

[marquis22]

On 03/08/2017 at 11:26 AM, blazes said:

Language:  I have met many pooying who have a goodish grasp of the English language, but this ability to read (and even write) is undermined by woeful pronunciation.

For example, one sweetheart totally puzzled me when she kept going on about something in her medical work that involved an-al- EYE - sis.  

"An-al- EYE -sis??" I repeated a few times as she nodded her head vigorously.

Spell it, I said.

A-N-A-L-Y-S-I-S

Oh, anALysis!!  Ok, I understand now.

A bank employee asked me if I wanted to dep-o-sit  

I looked around for a chair to sit on ...

[totally thaied up]

On 8/5/2017 at 6:42 AM, smotherb said:

I believe I have always had things to offer women other than money and I have been very lucky with women. I suggest maybe too many of you simply have no confidence in yourselves--confidence you know, may also interest some women.

I agree. I have nothing much to give yet I have high confidence. My wife is much better off than me. Still,  My wife loved my confidence, and it certainly was not about money. 

 

Confidence interests a lot of people, and I found it always worked on women.

 

Mostly, within Thailand, it is the women what a large percentage of the men come for; just to be a punter as if you have money, anything is available. You can be ugly as a hat full of dead catfish and be as boorish and unkempt as hell, and beautiful women will arrive in droves due to 'flash cash' that is involved. You certainly do not need charm or an endearing attitude. If I tried to spell charisma to most bar girls here and try to explain it in detail, I am sure they would not care or understand. Very few farangs can speak Thai in such a depth or follow the customs, that any Thai girl would 100% completely understand them unless you were half Thai yourself and that is where most go wrong. We are farang, and in many ways, Thai women are much more complicated and steeped in tradition than we think.

 

Being thus said, cash is the end point to many of such relationships, but not to all. Mine is certainly isn't, and I am sure, many others here are the same. I love my wife, but like in any country or custom, love certainly is universal and just not bound to Thailand alone. Not everything can be bought here, but the trouble is, too many think otherwise.  In many cases, it is mostly after two or three failed marriages in the West and the fact the person is not taking their responsibility on board for their own failures; they end up here hoping for a cure all and then when the relationships blow up again, either from drinking, other girls on the side of abuse, it is wholly the girl's fault. I have seen this countless times now. So how can we have a definite answer as it is much more complicated than mere words?

 

There is no 'definite does she love me' anywhere in the world. It is simply what you can make of it.

 

 

[inThailand]

How isn't that most TV posters have never been with or married a hooker?

I want to play this lottery number! 

[bert bloggs]

9 hours ago, inThailand said:

How isn't that most TV posters have never been with or married a hooker?

I want to play this lottery number! 

Why would most of us get  married to a hooker , i didnt , but being here in Thailand before i met my now wife ,i went with loads , and loads oh and loads ,it was 500 baht all night then or 200 baht short time , whoopi , 

[The Deerhunter]

On 03/08/2017 at 8:20 AM, blazes said:

My wife eschews gold on the very practical ground that it draws the attention of potential robbers to the fact that you are hi-so (or at least have a few dollars in your wallet).   

Same as my wife.  Used to like gold but she is scared for her or me to wear it in public.  We have a little from the wedding 11 years ago and it stays in the safe.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 7:47 PM, Been there done that said:

Re 9: Does she like,  or encourages, it that you read books about thai and foreign relationships and /or the thai female mindset.

It's pointless for men to read about the female mindset. No man will ever understand women.

Read the lyrics to Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen, he got it right.

 

I thought I had a keeper, but sadly she was just as false as all the other women I ever met.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2017 at 0:42 PM, smotherb said:

I was not suggesting we are all rock stars, I was responding to Dene16's post where he said aging rock stars get young women and I said yes, they also get young rock stars and other well-to-do women, so there must be some other attraction. You now say fame, well, other rock stars have fame too.

 

I believe I have always had things to offer women other than money and I have been very lucky with women. I suggest maybe too many of you simply have no confidence in yourselves--confidence you know, may also interest some women.

Women are attracted to fame, power and money. They will do things with rock stars they would never do with the "ordinary" bloke.

Most men, on the other hand, IMO will do anything they can get away with with anything with 2 legs and boobs.

 

One should be careful claiming to have been "lucky with women" as it gives the impression that one is jumping into bed with hundreds of women for free, which is rarely the story for most mere males.

[smotherb]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Women are attracted to fame, power and money. They will do things with rock stars they would never do with the "ordinary" bloke.

Most men, on the other hand, IMO will do anything they can get away with with anything with 2 legs and boobs.

 

One should be careful claiming to have been "lucky with women" as it gives the impression that one is jumping into bed with hundreds of women for free, which is rarely the story for most mere males.

Really now, one should also be careful to understand what was being discussed before making a statement. 

 

I think your impression of being lucky with women is childish and narrow. If you had followed the posts we were discussing relationships. The topic here is, "does she really love me, or is it just my money?"  

 

In that regard, I have been very lucky.

[rasg]

On 8/3/2017 at 2:16 PM, Kinnock said:

'm also not sure that successful relationships are so rare here?  I think the people who've had unsuccessful ones just bleat about it more, while the successful ones are getting on with enjoying their domestic bliss.

Very, very true. And how they bleat on here.

 

 

[oldhippy]

4 hours ago, rasg said:

Very, very true. And how they bleat on here.

 

 

bleat ?

 

ugly !

[marko kok prong]

I have often wondered myself,if i said i suddenley had lost a lot of money on investements or something,and we had a much smaller amount to live on what her reaction would be,of course if i said i had no money,no doubt that would be it,however i think that would be the same for most of the world.Most women expect the man to provide for them,especially in Asia.

[oldhippy]

36 minutes ago, marko kok prong said:

I have often wondered myself,if i said i suddenley had lost a lot of money on investements or something,and we had a much smaller amount to live on what her reaction would be,of course if i said i had no money,no doubt that would be it,however i think that would be the same for most of the world.Most women expect the man to provide for them,especially in Asia.

QUOTE: Most women expect the man to provide for them,especially in Asia.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

I guess this is true, there is no point in fighting reality.

Of course, it is then a 2 way street: man provides income, woman provides sex.

Daily, and up to standards.

 

Still, being a soixante-huitard, I sometimes dream of a world in which men and women and all people are equal.

 

 

 

[Kinnock]

3 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

I have often wondered myself,if i said i suddenley had lost a lot of money on investements or something,and we had a much smaller amount to live on what her reaction would be,of course if i said i had no money,no doubt that would be it,however i think that would be the same for most of the world.Most women expect the man to provide for them,especially in Asia.

It's difficult to test, but I believe that if I lost all my income,  she would find a way to look after both of us.  We'd have to live in a simpler way, (and I'd have to wean her off Topps Cherries!), but I don't think she'd leave.  Perhaps I'm naïve, but she already works to provide some extra income, even thought she doesn't have to.  With the exception of the classic, professional 'bargirl', my observations of Thai Girls in relationships with my friends and colleagues is that they seem to imprint on their partners for life - like baby ducks on a farmers wellies.

 

Also .... I did lose a significant part of my pension fund (that's another story!), and received a slap on the head for being stupid, but no sign of it changing our relationship.  Talking of slaps on the forehead - are they a sign of affection or abuse?