Nongwahyay

This thread has gone a long way, based on such a simple question........... to all those who got worked up about the correct pronunciation, all I can say is "mai pen rai"...............

.................or is there by any chance another way of pronouncing this??????????

We can but Live in Hope for 2007..

A blind man with his guide dog walked into a bar.

The blind man picked up the dog and swung it around and around over his head.

The bartender runs up and asks;

"Blind Man, What the heck are you doing?"

The blind man replies;

"Just looking around.!!!!"

......hey..........I even laughed at that one.......

What was the OP´s name???? Master Bates???....

Man in a Restaurant: 'Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!'

Waiter: 'Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.'

'Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'

'Don't worry, sir, the spider in the salad will get it.'

WAITER: 'How did you find your steak, sir?'

DINER:'Quite by accident. I moved a few peas and there it was.'

'Waiter, what soup is this?'

'It's bean soup sir.'

'I don't care what it was, I want to know what it is now.'

'Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.'

'Who said that?'

'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a sheep.'

'How do you feel?'

'Very ba-a-a-ad.'

MAN:'Ouch! A crab just bit my toe.'

DR.:'Which one?'

MAN:' I don't know, all crabs look alike to me.'

DOCTOR:'Did you drink your orange juice after your bath?'

PATIENT:'After drinking the bath I didn't have too much room for the orange juice.'

Doctor, doctor, I lost my memory.'

'When did this happen?'

'When did what happen?'

COLIN:'You remind me of the sea.'

ANN:'Because I'm so wild, reckless and romantic?'

COLIN:'No, you make me sick.'

'I've lost my dog.'

'Why don't you put an advertisement in the paper?'

'Don't be silly - he can't read.'

TEACHER:'If I had forty apples in one hand and fifty in the other, what would I have?'

PUPIL:'Big hands.'

TEACHER:'How can you prove the world is round?'

PUPIL:'I never said it was, miss.'

TEACHER:'You should have been here at nine o'clock.'

PUPIL:'Why, what happened?'

'Would you like to buy a pocket calculator, sir?'

'No, thanks, I know how many pockets I've got.'

CUSTOMER:'I would like to try on that suit in the window, please'

ASSISTANT:'I'm sorry, sir, you have to try it on in the changing-rooms, like everybody else.'

'The police are looking for a man with one eye called Murphy.'

'What is the other eye called?'

MAN:'A return ticket please.'

RAILWAY CLERK:'Where to?'

MAN:'Why back here of course.'

"My plans now are to move to Chiang Mai in the next 12 months with 15,000,000 bt. Not much compared to many of the members of this forum, but I'm only drawing this conclusion from reading the numerous posts in regards to savings."

Would all TV members falling into this category please send me a PM..................I´d like to send you my bank details and a request for a small contribution.............................I´ve obviously been doing something wrong all these years.......

Rest assured that in Germany - if I may take Berlin as being representative - virtually every young person......be he German, Turkish, Arab or of whatever nationality you may set eyes upon ........ has a mobile in his or her hand, next to the ear or connected via bluetooth or cable/earphones and does nothing other than either talk into it, play games on it or stare at it, waiting for the next call to arrive...............................

My Xmas stocking was filled with FOBS

Vespa.."How do You Hang a Nail"??

I know they hung some monkeys in Hartlypool a long time ago..

I know they once hung a monkey in Hartlepool before, i have never heard of Hartlypool though.

That´s right, mate.......we once hung a monkey for pretending to be a French spy...the bastard....... and Hartlepool (Hert-er-pol = Stag in the pool........see our city emblem) is now the in-place to live (even though I left 33 years ago, because I couldn´t stand the place..... )...........and...returning to the topic..... ..we nail all savverners who mock our football team.......

An ex-Hartlepudlian

...aah.... a great thread finally revived...... Having followed this thread when it originally appeared, my wife and I then went on a 3-week holiday to Thailand....and.... having been suitably forewarned by Summer T of the chilly nights....... I took along...well you can´t be too careful, can you?... ... TWO pullovers..... Needless to say, neither around Pattaya, nor Chiangmai, nor in Udon Thani did I feel an inkling of the then much-dreaded chilly nights............... I left them In Nongwahyay with my father-in-law with strict instructions to hand them over to any TV members, who may be passing by and feeling the chill.......

....it amazes me how some people really scrape the bottom of the barrel to come up with a new thread/topic..........this is a classic example of such.......

Subject: And, Speaking Of Sex, Again

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."

--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 580SL."

--Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."

--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

--George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."

--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."

--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."

--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

--Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."

--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

--Robin Williams

A Merry Xmas to everyone at Thaivisa.....................................click the following.........

http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf

Or.........a man goes into a chip shop and asks.."Got any chips left???" ..."Yes", answers the chip shop owner. "Then you shouldn´t have fried so many", answers the man............

Again, not guaranteed to bring the house down....but light years better than the original "joke" here..........(which the OP has obviously just cocked up.......................... )

At 3 AM I just bite my lip and walk the good 10 minutes to the to a shop that is open.

And these guys had a motorbike! .. Christs...

At 3 am I´m long since tucked up in bed....... who goes looking for beer in a shop at 3 am???????

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a

driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:

C Z W I X N O S T AC Z.

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

I grew up in north-east England on fish and chips.................but I still don´t get it at all.........................

Here´s a bit of drivel...........on a recent trip to Thailand I noticed that in several "Black Canyon" cafes we visited, there always seemed to be a katoey employed..............in "Central" in Chiang Mai I noticed her 2 years ago when we were last there...... looking pretty tartish and dragging her feet. This year she was still there, looked just as tartish....and just cannot pick up her feet.....(anyone else noticed her???). There was also one in Black Canyon in The Mall, Nonthaburi (Tanon Ngam Wong Wahn), although he/she looked pretty malish. Does a Katoey, who looks obviously still pretty malish, used "krap" oder "ka" at then end of the sentence???? I couldn´t quite catch it........(yes, I obviously had nothing better to do while drinking my cafe rorn.....!!!), but I thought I did catch a "ka"............................... Do cafes have to employ a minimum of one katoey to get their licence????

Whenever we are on a visit to the Moo Baan from Germany I always say that when we finally move into the Moo Baan permanently, then I´ll killl off all the dogs one by one.........(ok...not really serious...). They laugh at this......and say that the dogs are just a part of nature. That is very true...I agree totally..... bit I do see a difference between living alongside geckos crawling up the wall and ants everywhere....and packs of lawless, howling dogs, left to do as they wish!! As sezzo wrote, they get a new dog....and that was it!!! No feeding, no training...... the dog is just there......and is left to do what it fxxxxing likes......... Anyhow, if I may extend this thread slightly........ I decided after 4 visits to the parents´ house, that I´d had enough of entering the hole, which serves as a washing area.....you all know what I mean...... a water reservoir with a plastic dish floating on top, which you use to toss cold water over your head....clean your teeth with.... wash your arse with...... and sitting on top of the 2 walls, which form the reservoir, are years-worth of remnants of old soap and toothpaste....the black and green mould crawling all over the walls and down into the water...........and we won´t mention the toilet........... so.....to cut this long story short....I decided to tear down the whole cow-shed (i.e. house...) and build a new house, which will include a noise-free, air-conditioned bedroom for us as well as a separate air-conditioned, bomb-proof, private room for myself downstairs. Don´t get me wrong, the family is great.... the people are fantastic.... but having sat on the floor for hours on end, as one does in Isaan, surrounded by babbling neighbours and greedy dogs, I´ve decided I want just a little bit of privacy every now and again!!!!!!! Work will commence in January!!!

My wife and I just got back from a 3-week trip to Thailand, 5 days of which we spent with her family in Nongwahyay, near Nongbualamphu, in Isaan. This was my 4th trip there.........and I must admit I was appalled by the dog situation in the village. On my first trip I hardly noticed the dogs.....on the second I was more aware of them (i.e. at night...); on my third trip I found it atrocious at night............. as many of you will have experienced, one dog starts barking, followed by a 2nd..then a 3rd.... and very quickly they are all barking the full length of the Moo Baan. This time, however, when we arrived I immediately noticed that there were far many more dogs than last time. There even seemed to be 2 distinct packs of them.....one at each end of the village. During the day they would repeatedly size each other up and then suddenly a few of them from one pack would attack the others...and a furious battle involving 6 to 8 dogs would ensue...and would end only when one or two were injured and howled with pain. The worst time was, as ever, at night........most of them having slept away most of the day, they this time began to bark..... but the barking soon turned into howling...exactly like coyotes.... and there would be around 20 dogs howling their heads off for a good 10 minutes, before the noise gradually died down. This was repeated 3 or 4 times each night, ending probably around 2 or 3 am. I was then able to sleep until 4 am, when the roosters then started up!!!!!! I must admit, I found it hard going this time, getting sufficient sleep and keeping a smile on my face!!!!!! It amazes me that the barking and howling doesn´t appear to bother the locals..... when I ask them why they put up with it, they just laugh it off. Someone suggested that the males were howling, because the females were in heat............... if this is true, I´ll choose another month to go in next time!!!!

Has anyone else experienced anything similar??????

dont get it myself....

Being it was a group policy, he had them group their urine together in the buckets.

....or was markuk taking the piss....?????

The query can´t be genuine - don´t waste your time answering it any further........

Why am I thinking I have to write something memorable for my 100th post?

Why did you write this when you had already reached 102 posts?????

A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner, during the course

of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Paul's

flatmate, Simon, was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this

only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she

started to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the

eye.

Reading his mums thoughts, Paul volunteered, "I know what you must be

thinking, but I assure you, Simon & I are just flatmates".

About a week later, Simon came to Paul saying, "Ever since your mother

came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan,you don't suppose she

took it do you?" "Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure" said Paul

So he sat down and wrote:

DEAR MOTHER, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY

HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE

FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.

LOVE PAUL

Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read:

DEAR SON, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT

SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS

SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.

LOVE MUM

Lesson of the day, NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER (SHE ALWAYS, ALWAYS FINDS

OUT)

I don´t want to......and therefore no sod is going to make me......

. But then, unexpectedly,