Korat Kiwi

Oh Johnny... Little Johnny was running late for school so he jumps on his bike and takes off down the footpath. Up ahead is Policeman Plod doing his rounds and sees Johnny coming towards. He puts up his hand signalling for Johnny to stop. But Johnny isn't having a bar of it and runs across the policemans feet. The policeman couldn't do anything about it and Johnny has disappeared off into the distance. The next day the same thing occurs. Johnny doesn't stop and the policeman is right mad. He thinks to himself, right I'm going to get him tomorrow and he's going to learn a lesson. Sure enough, the next day Johnny is running late again... Out the door on his bike and off down the footpath. As he's about to run over the policemans feet, out comes the stiff arm of the law and grabs Johnny by the scruff of the neck. His bike goes flying off down the footpath. 'Right' says the Policeman, do you know what we do do naughty little boys like you that run across policemens feet? No says Johnny. Well says the policeman, see that nail up there on the post? Yes says Johnny. Well says the policeman, we grab those naughty boys and hang them up on the nail. Then we pull their pants down and every day when we're doing our rounds we give your old fellah a tug. We do that each day until it falls off to teach you a lesson. Crikey thinks Johnny, that doesn't sound too good. And he quickly replies, I bet I know what you do to naughty girls then. What's that asks the policeman. Well says Johnny, pretty much the same thing but you wait till its 6'2" put it in a blue uniform and send it off on the beat. With that Johnny takes off down the footpath leaving the policeman furious.

Johnny continues: Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." " And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, she called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."

Little Johnny.... Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny." Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?" "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision." "That's great", said Little Johnny, "cos he'd be <deleted> if he needed glasses!"

I would imagine the uproar would have been a lot greater if it was role reversal and it had been two 12 year old boys that stripped a 7 year old girl naked. Same rules/penalties should apply.

What can go wrong in a love triangle? ... Time to kiss and make up

I rode in a Neo X when I was last in Vientiane. Very impressive. They also had EV tuktuks!

No thanks I don't drink any oil, it doesn't emulsify well with beer.

So you got short listed huh? 😂 Time to switch providers I think.

Mae Rim guy used canola oil. Also known as rapeseed oil. He did all types of dishes, including deep fried. Always fresh oil.

I'd say some of the street food vendors are a bit dodgy some of the time but shop around. People vote with their feet when it comes to food in Thailand. When I lived just out of Chiang Mai at a place called Mae Rim, there was a guy who opened his stall in the evening. He'd stay open till about 1am or when he run out of food to cook. Many a time I sat, ate and watched him cook fresh food. It was very good and I'd say definitely healthy. After every dish he'd clean the wok. New oil every time. His wife was 'front of house' ensuring everything was kept proper. Workers did dishes in a seperate area, with clean water. On the other hand I've had street food in Chiang Mai proper and wasn't too impressed. So overall... What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I love Thai street food, and I'm not a fat, balding grumpy bastard either.

Just another episode of The Keystone Cops! FFS

So they got it out of one vehicle only to let it hide in another. Now that's clever. I'm surprised the snake survived after all that spray... Nasty stuff

Minister of the Interior sounds about right. Anutin if written with syllables reversed would be TinAnu, fairly close to tin arse... which sounds about right considering he still holds a government position.

Boonmee needs to be strung up.

This is the one I ordered. If it lasts a few fights and breaks, that's ok. At 312 baht what the heck.

I've just ordered cabin luggage from Lazada, inexpensive hard sided for just over 300 baht. All within allowable limits. Whenever I travel I try to keep within the carry on allowances because sure a rain, I'll be the one to be picked out if I was over. I haven't used check in for the last 9 years. Travel light is the way to go, no waiting at carousel fir your bag to finally turn up. It's been a long road getting my missus to do the same. When we returned from NZ she had 4 check in bags and used the conbined allowance of 64kg! I had 1 cabin bag. What a hassle getting those bags from Don Muang to Mo Chit train station and up to Korat. We're heading back to NZ next month and she has been told... 1 cabin bag 7kg total. No check in baggage. Either she pays for it or it gets left here. Easier to transfer with just cabin luggage... Less chance of getting bumped.

Cheap/budget airlines like Air Asia can get quite strict with cabin luggage. If you are outside the permitted parameters then 'excess' baggage fees at the airport can be horrendous. I had an occurrence flying from Vientiane to Bkk. We had 2 carry on bags. Total weight 14kg so within the limit. However one bag was 9kg with the other 5kg. They weren't happy and wanted to charge an excess on the 9kg bag. Simple, we rearranged the contents so both were 7kg. Once thru security etc we rearranged back to original packing. Pedantic? You betcha. Just a money grabbing debacle that's getting more common with budget Airlines.

Arrrr.... I've seen one just outta town. I'll check it out tomorrow. Cheers!

I'd probably prefer the IPA with a vodka shot. Unfortunately they don't sell the IPA (or Dunkel) locally anymore. Lots of Kulov vodka about tho.

Reminds me of Iraq and to a lesser degree Afghanistan a few years back. Stay away from the American Armed Forces and you'll be fine.

It's surprising tasty. Damn expensive but OK. I couldn't justify having it all the time tho.

Them are some big holes... Luckily no fatalities.

Like nobody could see this coming. The handout is not for booze or entertainment... Yes boss we will obey!

Recently and mainly because I've gotten bored with beer, I've been drinking (gasp horror) Sato Siam. Some say it's terrible and tastes like rocket fuel. I think it's more like Saki. Yes the Japanese rice wine. Initially I wasn't that fussed with it, but now I put it in the freezer till its really cold and drink it in a glass full of ice. It's grown on me and at 6.5% abv it can give a slight buzz. Lotus'sss sells it for 37 baht. So yes it's cheap plonk. Tried Lao Khao once... never again. Too bloody dangerous in many ways. Also tried a Indian whisky that's sold in Lotus'sss. Brown Barley Whisky 41% abv and it's actually not bad. 299 baht for 700ml. A little sweet and the oak flavour isn't as strong as brand name whiskeys. I'm usually a dark Rum drinker but Sang Som doesn't really cut it. Capt Morgan is just too sweet. Old Monk run from India is nice but I've not found it here. Love Belgium beers but not the cost in Thailand.

Great movie.... Falling Down