Love those lightening storms. My daughter used to be really scared of them until I persuaded her to sit out on the porch with me and enjoy the show.
Mrs C won't join us - can't teach an old dog new tricks.
I feel for you Owl. I have a 10 year old daughter and would feel just the same.
Sounds like your missus is having "lady issues" and could benefit from a hormone test and (perhaps) medication.
I always thought that Scotsmen don't wear underwear - or is that just under the kilt?
In the days when Marks & Sparks had a reputation for quality, their underpants sizes were always on the generous size.