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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. Finally, I went to a third place and said "I'm glad you're open with all this Covid going on. My hair needs cutting really badly". So he did.
  2. Not liking the previous haircut, I went to a hairdresser and asked her if she could cut my hair like Liam Gallagher. She put a parka on, picked up her scissors and said "Alright then, sit down knobhead!".
  3. I asked the barber if I could have my hair cut like Tom Cruise. He raised the chair and made me sit on a cushion.
  4. I've got my first kick boxing class tonight. Hopefully I'll be able to quit boxing for good this time.
  5. I've just been stopped in town, a woman in a yellow jacket said, "Would you like to put your hand in your pocket for Children In Need." I said, "Sure. I normally give money, but if you think it will help."
  6. I just bought the Beatles version of Cluedo, but it's rubbish. Every game, the answer is Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
  7. I've been trying my hand at writing. So far, it's a lot more successful than using my foot.
  8. I went to library after work and asked if they have any books on coincidences. The librarian says, "Here's one that just arrived."
  9. My next door neighbour had a penis extension. His house looks really stupid now.
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