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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. ballpoint
    Just had the worst day today. I paid a carpenter to build us a bespoke double bed and found out he’s done a bunk. It’s just one thing on top of another…
  2. ballpoint
    My car wouldn't start this morning. I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine block. He said: "Good day to you Sir! And might I remark how splendid you look today?" I knew the problem straight away. Bat flattery
  3. ballpoint
    I’ve always had an irrational fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
  4. ballpoint
    I'm having trouble getting into my computer... Enter Password: "FootLoose" ... Wrong, Try again: "DangerZone" ... Wrong, you are locked out! You are only allowed 2 incorrect Loggins.
  5. ballpoint
    I asked this nice girl a question the other day. She was a pretty young thing, and gave me a pleasant smile. I asked her if six inches satisfies? She grimaced and pondered, shifting her weight from foot to foot as if balancing the question and finally replied "no not really". So I ordered the ten inch pizza instead.
  6. ballpoint
    I accidently sent an embarrassing picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it mortifying, it cost me a fortune in stamps.
  7. ballpoint
    Due to NHS receptionists going on strike, patients are now able to see doctors.
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    Where's the "I do not like them, Sam I am" button?
  14. ballpoint
    Or the MAGA ones gnash their tooth.
  15. ballpoint
    I noticed a few too many letters in your reply... Yes, because that's what trump's all about, selfishly working for the interests of the con man!
  16. ballpoint
    No doubt he would have fired her for doing her duty, which would be a pathetically churlish thing to do. Why, it would be almost as bad as firing someone for doing their job by helping your opponent and successor move into the White House, and who would be so insecure and nasty enough to do that? Oh, wait a minute....
  17. ballpoint
    No doubt the "gifts and rewards" will be all you can plunder from the battlefield.
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    Don't worry, we're coming to the end of the roll tonight... ... As long as we get a new one tomorrow.
  25. ballpoint
    Changi transit tax is $9.00. This didn't increase in November with the other taxes. Changi Airport hiking airport charges from 1 November - The MileLion

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