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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. Just returned from my annual check up at Doctor’s. For some reason she complimented me on my footwear - said I have healthy shoes!
  2. My friend is involved in a major custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother wont take him back.
  3. I can't get over how old my new neighbour is. He said he's a retired English teacher, and used to teach Shakespeare.
  4. My pet bird has premonitions and predicts disasters. It’s an omen pigeon.
  5. I was just remembering when two men came into my shop and paid with fake £50 notes, I reported this to the police and they asked me if I could describe them. I said " well, they are very similar to real £50 notes"
  6. My aviary roof leaks when it rains. It's getting on my tits.
  7. I took my grandchildren to the zoo last week. I'm going back again next week to see how they are settling in.
  8. Dammit! I'm tired of all this winning!
  9. Exactly. It's more than a little hypocritical to demand one's own puritanical religious views be forced on the whole country, and then throw a fit because someone else's puritanical religious views are being forced on a university.
  10. She can keep the bike. He just wants the seat.
  11. And after all, we're only ordinary men...
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