ballpoint

A gentle reminder. Check your dryer settings before putting your car in.

That's correct. If I transferred all the money in January, I'd just have to show a statement for that month - showing that enough money was in there on the 1st. If I transferred it in, say October, I'd have to show statements for every month up to then, again showing the money was in there on January 1st, and no unaccounted for deposits were made in between.

Shop assistant: "Would you liked this wrapped as a gift?" Me: "Sure! I thought I was going to have to pay for it."

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Notice in a school cafeteria:

Finally, someone is doing their job...

Actual tourist complaints to travel companies: 1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food." 2. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax." 3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish." 4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price." 5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room." 6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow." 7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to siesta in the afternoons I often needed to buy things during ʽsiesta timeʼ. This should be banned." 8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared." 9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers." 10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." 11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun." 12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair." 13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller." 14. "The brochure stated: No hairdressers at the resort. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service." 15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners." 16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning." 17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel." 18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes." 19. "My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you all responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Equality.

It's been a tiresome morning, and I'm bored as an Amish electrician, so started thinking about this and that... Like how Hooters missed a major business opportunity during the Covid lockdowns. They should have started a home delivery service, and called it Knockers.

I went on one of those once in a lifetime holidays. Never again!

Oh, beehave!