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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

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    BREAKING NEWS: The Liverpool manager has resigned. He's taken his family home to Germany. The Klopps went back on Sunday.
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    I really try to push the envelope, but it always remains stationery.
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    A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling “The president is an idiot!“ Police surround him and handcuff him. They say, “It is illegal to insult President Putin” He says “You don’t understand! I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky. He is the one I was insulting!“ The police captain says, “You can’t fool us. Everyone knows who the idiot is!"
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    Every morning I take my pet cow for a long walk in the local vineyard. I herd it through the grapevine.
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    A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and whenever we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
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    The Amazon customer who received a packet of biscuits instead of the Kindle he ordered says he now wishes he hadn’t pressed the “accept cookies” button.
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    Goodness gracious!
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