ballpoint

Man found hanged in his flat, 8 years after committing suicide. Proves his point really.

Is it bad luck to be superstitious?

A barrister arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling depressed. when he walked through the door at home, his wife started on at him: “What time of night to be getting home is this? He headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs. While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realising what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet. “They’re not hanging Wright tonight,” she said. To which he whirled around and screamed: “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?"

Just seen the BBC news headlines. Apparently the police are holding three men over a fire in West London. Bit harsh, I wonder what they've done?

Three dinosaurs were out hunting together when they came across a lamp. Out popped a genie who gave them a wish each. The first one wishes that it would rain sausages. The three dinosaurs find themselves in a storm of sausages. The second dinosaur thinks for a while and, to outdo his friend, asks for it to rain steaks. And so, they find themselves bombarded with steaks of all kinds. The third dinosaur thinks really hard because he really wants to outdo the other two. After a while, his face broadens into a grin and he says, “I’d like a meatier shower”

I heard a great joke about chiropractors recently. I can't remember exactly when I heard it, but it was about a weak back.

Yes, I've turned over a new leaf.

Damn, I should have learned from the time a bank director contacted me saying someone with the same surname as me had died in a car crash, along with his entire family, leaving $10 million in his bank and she was willing to give me half if I claimed to be related to him. I ignored it and though nothing more about it until the day my brother turned up driving a gold plated Rolls Royce and lighting cigars with $100 bills.

I'd like to thank the OP for this thread as it reminded me to check my own spam folder and I found out that I'm rich. If he sends me his bank account details I'll forward him some of the money as a token of my gratitude as soon as I sort out my Pay-Pal account. (Should anyone be concerned, yes, I have deleted all of these without opening them).

I don't go for that new fangled text gibberish, but -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / .-- . .-.. -.-. --- -- . (or, if the navy floats your boat, )

Stop beating about the bush and get to the root of the issue, or I won't bother to log on to this thread anymore and will branch out to another instead.

Hard? Looks a bit floppy to me. Besides, you should see a doctor. Looks like you've slipped a disk in there.

Why? Are you anti-pasta?

Use your noodle, and don't walk pasta penne.