ballpoint

I'm gonna be turning my lights off this Halloween and pretending I'm not in. Sod the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.

"Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it's endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective" "You're still bloody late!" replied my boss

Our crazy butcher stole a sea bird to put into his sausages. I thought, "He's taken a tern for the wurst."

When I die I want my body donated to science. Specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.

Broken pencils are pointless.

Yes, it's always a good idea to rifle though some magazines before shooting off and making a target of yourself. Frankly, I expected more from a man of your calibre, and not the reaction of a small bore.

We all know one... ... and if you don't, then that one is you.