ballpoint

How dare you!

General knowledge exam... with answers: Q1.. In which battle did Nelson die? * his last battle Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5.. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7.. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become? * Wet Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has one hand. Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? *No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Tesco have announced that they will be adding a new beer to their value real ale range. Alongside the affordable Simply Golden Ale and the inexpensive Simply Dark, they're adding Simply Red, for when money's too tight to mention.

Walking through the park, I accidentally stood in a pile of Dobermann poop. As I stepped back, I trod in another. I was caught in a Pinscher movement.

There was a demonstration by homeless people in town today. They were demanding change.

A mate of mine said - "I'm going to draw what's essentially a transparent cross section of a building from above". "It sounds like a plan" I thought.

A man died today after being attacked by a big cat in a circus. It's understood he had under lion health problems.

Just been to HomePro with my wife and she got a ladder in her tights… She's an amazing shoplifter.

A friend has just become the world's best assistant DJ. He holds the record.

I walked into my son's bedroom and told him it was like a rubbish tip. But I don't think he heard me over the noise of the seagulls.

I dream of a time when chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.