ballpoint

Sunk it straight into the corner pocket. Unfortunately, destroyed the cue ball while doing so.

Funerals for the 0.77% will be held next week.

While it's good that Russians are voting with their feet, one can't but help wonder whether it would have been better for them to stay behind and actively protest at home. The cynic in me would also ask why, despite the war going on for around 8 months now, they didn't do anything about it beforehand? Only when their lives were directly affected did they bother taking any action, however self preserving it may be. My tongue in cheek comment earlier, about arming the over 100,000 mainly young men fleeing to Kazakhstan, and sending them back to fight Putin, is quite a serious one on further reflection. With all those headed to Georgia, Finland and other neighbouring countries, that would make a sizable resistance force. Especially with the Russian army desperate to send more bodies to Ukraine. (They may as well send bodies, as that is what they will be converted to shortly after arrival).

Arm them and send them back.

Come to Daddy and I'll make you a citizen. No guesses as to who.

No wonder nobody saw it in a while.

Someone must have grassed them up.

I asked the Doctor 'Is my being overweight due to my underactive thyroid?' He said 'No, it's due to your overactive knife and fork'

My career path over my life was to become a wit - I'm halfway there.

I thought that finally I was over my obsession with Tipperary, but my doctor says I still have a way to go.

I've just finished reading about the entire history of lubricant. It's the best non friction book I've ever read

While much is known about the great Diana Dors, very little is known about her sister Erin. Except she never went out much.

My wife and I are finally sexually compatible. Now we both get a headache at the same time.

I had a right fright just now. I was in the bath reading a ghost story, next thing I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Dad, can you tell me what an eclipse is?" " No son"

Haven't the North Koreans suffered enough?

The old "if I can't have it, no one can" gambit, much favoured by children, and those with the intellect of children.

Thanks to Putin's Ukraine invasion, we are now in a position to see what it would have been like had the internet existed in the late 1930s. Social media ablaze with the likes of Ford, Mosley, Lindbergh, and other NAZI sympathisers and their followers. All quoting Lord Haw Haw broadcasts and Viscount Rothermere articles as valid sources of their material. No matter how low the cause, how tyrannical the man, there will always be a group along to defend it and him.

I had my patience tested the other day. I’m negative.

In the light of the Einstein riddle posted previously, see who can pass this one...