If anyone in my family dies I'm not going back to the US.
If I die I don't want anyone to come over here.
If anyone is going to travel - do it to visit a live person! I'd be ecstatic to actually see a family member travel over here to visit while I'm still kicking.
I posted elsewhere - A cremation should not set you back more than maybe 10,000 THB - 30,000 tops here in Thailand. When you're dead, you're dead. You "need" a wooden box and a hot oven. And that costs next to nothing here. You don't need a fancy funeral. Your family can have memorial services in your home country. You are gone! All of the expense discussed by the OP is really unnecessary.
I've already discussed this with my wife and family. I find it odd that people travel overseas and then think they are immune to death. Think that through before you travel and plan accordingly. Sound harsh. Apologies. But to this day I simply don't understand Westerner's morbid fascination with death and the equally fascinating manner they deal with it. And then add on top of it a load of unnecessary debt. Nope - I don't understand.