How to deal with an antagonistic guy in my

[BMW Overlander]

15 hours ago, Shoeless Joe said:

How rude (and you are an advanced member)? Your "solution"; your obvious lack of empathy and obnoxious response only further highlights the challenges the OP is already facing.

 

Anyway, I understand it's difficult if you (the OP) are being intimated by someone and I understand your reluctance to get physically involved with this bully. Not everyone can (or wants to) a confrontation. As you have already made it clear that this (his) behaviour is unacceptable then I would urge you to follow the advice from Richard Smith and Binjalin which is sound. Inform the moo baan manager and if you don't receive a satisfactor response within a week, then please go to the police and make a report (it might also be a good idea to see if there are other residents who are willing to support you) . There's no reason why you should only enjoy the benefits of living at your moo baan at the discretion of another.

 

Regards,

 

Joe

 

Welcome to TV forum, place with some of the worst kind you ever going to interact anywhere on the web.

As another poster said, speak to juristic manager, they should help you out.

[Lizard2010]

Its fireworks time

This would be a good way to let him know people are sick of him being a bully

[Dazinoz]

6 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

BTW, bet the guy is either British or Australian.

And what perfect nationality might you be?

[FolkGuitar]

This is a simple case of schoolyard bullying, and should be dealt with as such.

He is looking for power. That's all bullying is; an imbalance of power. By reacting to his name-calling and threats, you are giving him the power that he seeks. ANY argument you make is a win in his eyes, so simply stop...

 

Stop playing his game. You can stop him in his tracks by not reacting the way he wants you to react. Instead, when he calls you names, say 'Thanks,' and smile at him. When he shouts at him, ask him if he has a hearing problem that causes him to speak so loudly. Recommend hearing aids, and smile at him. Remember, he wants to see you lose and see himself win. If you don't play his game, he can't win. There is NO winner if only one person is playing. The more upset you get, the happier he is. That's his goal. So don't play his game. Can you be emotionally strong enough to have a thick skin? Can you thank him for his rude comments, say 'thanks for that information,' and smile. 

 

As long as he doesn't touch you, there is nothing the police can do. So long as YOU don't do something stupid to escalate the situation by trying to fight back physically (dog crap, explosives, etc.,) he can't call the cops on you.  Calling you names and screaming at you isn't against any laws that can work for you here in Thailand. But, as others have said, have a friend or relative video his abuse. The minute he touches you, it is no longer 'bullying.' Then it becomes 'Assault and Battery,' and you CAN file charges against him to which the police will have to respond.

 

Stand up to bullies by not playing their dominance game... because that is all it is to them... a game of "I have power over you. I win. You lose. Hahahahahaha." 

 

They are like Internet 'Trolls.'  You simply don't feed the trolls.

 

Edited November 2, 2017 by FolkGuitar

[alfalfa19]

17 hours ago, Shoeless Joe said:

How rude (and you are an advanced member)? Your "solution"; your obvious lack of empathy and obnoxious response only further highlights the challenges the OP is already facing.

 

Anyway, I understand it's difficult if you (the OP) are being intimated by someone and I understand your reluctance to get physically involved with this bully. Not everyone can (or wants to) a confrontation. As you have already made it clear that this (his) behaviour is unacceptable then I would urge you to follow the advice from Richard Smith and Binjalin which is sound. Inform the moo baan manager and if you don't receive a satisfactor response within a week, then please go to the police and make a report (it might also be a good idea to see if there are other residents who are willing to support you) . There's no reason why you should only enjoy the benefits of living at your moo baan at the discretion of another.

 

Regards,

 

Joe

well said

[Baerboxer]

6 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

The police won`t be in the slightest bit interested. All they`ll do is make a report and the OP will not hear anything else from them. Forget about the locals, they won`t want to know either.

 

Does the OP have any friends or his wife`s family who could accompany the OP to the pool when the thug is there? BTW, bet the guy is either British or Australian. Ask the friends or relatives to stay in the background so that the thug thinks the OP is on his own and just with his kids. Get the wife to run a video, get the kids to make lots of noise, then if the thug makes the first move, gang up on him with the people in his group.

 

That`s about all I can suggest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doesn't take long for a racist to crawl onto a thread like this.

[Dazinoz]

5 minutes ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Doesn't take long for a racist to crawl onto a thread like this.

Yep, some people just can't help themselves.

[Gonzo the Face]

7 minutes ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Doesn't take long for a racist to crawl onto a thread like this.

Please point out what in the post to which you replied you consider  "racist" ???

[Dazinoz]

4 minutes ago, Gonzo the Face said:

Please point out what in the post to which you replied you consider  "racist" ???

I will answer for Baerboxer. Post #27. "BTW, bet the guy is either British or Australian"

[Baerboxer]

1 minute ago, Gonzo the Face said:

Please point out what in the post to which you replied you consider  "racist" ???

 

"BTW, bet the guy is either British or Australian."

 

Based purely on the posters prejudices.

[Baerboxer]

2 minutes ago, Dazinoz said:

I will answer for Baerboxer. Post #27. "BTW, bet the guy is either British or Australian"

 

Thank you sir. Quicker on the keyboard than me!

[Dazinoz]

1 minute ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Thank you sir. Quicker on the keyboard than me!

Not really  Probably just get annoyed faster at people who make comments like this.

[scubascuba3]

The guy is probably on this thread already, some real miserable farang about, they should go home and stop blighting the place.

 

But if the Ops kids are a pain in the arse you need to sort that too

 

 

[steven100]

go talk with the motorbike taxi's and see who wants 2,000 baht ....

[BuddyDean]

Kids playing is different than them screaming at the top of their lungs...most parents take it personally, when you point that out.  It is a pool; not a playground.  Always some kind of problem at community pools.  We had a girl, who won three golds at the 72 Olympics.  We also had a twelve year old with Downs Syndrome, who was known as the Mad Dumper.

[Dazinoz]

6 minutes ago, BuddyDean said:

Kids playing is different than them screaming at the top of their lungs...most parents take it personally, when you point that out.  It is a pool; not a playground.  Always some kind of problem at community pools.  We had a girl, who won three golds at the 72 Olympics.  We also had a twelve year old with Downs Syndrome, who was known as the Mad Dumper.

I was once kicked out of a public pool for peeing in the pool. I told the attendant who kicked me out thst everyone peed in the pool. He said "not from the 10 metre diving board". 

[hobz]

12 hours ago, NanLaew said:

He backed down otherwise he would have sorted you out then and there.

 

He cannot do anything about making you move so encourage your rowdy-assed kids to be especially rowdy when they see him. Get a Thai nickname for the guy and encourage the kids to use it loudly when they see him. Use it yourself whenever he's in earshot. Get on his goat before he gets on yours. Take the 'fight' to him.

Basically this.. Just be as annoying as possible and prepare to film the oncoming assault and report to police when he assaults you.

[glasswort]

19 hours ago, taotoo said:

Throw his bike in the pool.

 

Next story please.

What a moronic comment. 

[VocalNeal]

15 hours ago, Dante99 said:

Like what behavior is appropriate in what circumstances and consideration for others.

If you were at a 5 star hotel would you let your kids run wild in the pool, the restaurant or your room? Or even a 3 star?

 

1 hour ago, FolkGuitar said:

This is a simple case of schoolyard bullying, and should be dealt with as such.

He is looking for power. That's all bullying is; an imbalance of power. By reacting to his name-calling and threats, you are giving him the power that he seeks. ANY argument you make is a win in his eyes, so simply stop...

 

Stop playing his game. You can stop him in his tracks by not reacting the way he wants you to react. Instead, when he calls you names, say 'Thanks,' and smile at him. When he shouts at him, ask him if he has a hearing problem that causes him to speak so loudly. Recommend hearing aids, and smile at him. Remember, he wants to see you lose and see himself win. If you don't play his game, he can't win. There is NO winner if only one person is playing. The more upset you get, the happier he is. That's his goal. So don't play his game. Can you be emotionally strong enough to have a thick skin? Can you thank him for his rude comments, say 'thanks for that information,' and smile. 

 

As long as he doesn't touch you, there is nothing the police can do. So long as YOU don't do something stupid to escalate the situation by trying to fight back physically (dog crap, explosives, etc.,) he can't call the cops on you.  Calling you names and screaming at you isn't against any laws that can work for you here in Thailand. But, as others have said, have a friend or relative video his abuse. The minute he touches you, it is no longer 'bullying.' Then it becomes 'Assault and Battery,' and you CAN file charges against him to which the police will have to respond.

 

Stand up to bullies by not playing their dominance game... because that is all it is to them... a game of "I have power over you. I win. You lose. Hahahahahaha." 

 

They are like Internet 'Trolls.'  You simply don't feed the trolls.

 

 

A combination of these two posts is the proper course of action. Continue to use the pool as normal and ignore him. But it does seem your unruly children were the catalyst. So tell them it is a public place and to behave accordingly. "Do they see any other children screaming and yelling?" Then why are they doing it? 

He may have an established routine (which you guys have interrupted)  so plan your pool visits around it.

 

If he persists you have to stand up to him. Even if you come off worse. He will eventually respect the fact that you won't back down, even when you are losing. Or tire of the whole thing as it doesn't work. Wimpy reporting to moobahn committee won't help, it will empower him more.  

 

Roll of satangs in a sock and the mocy taxi guys as the absolute last resort. Assuming that you disciplining of your children doesn't placate the situation.

Edited November 2, 2017 by VocalNeal

[Paul Laycock1]

Without reading every post, if you have the means video record him or ask someone else do do it on your behalf

you then have evidence for the authorities.

[Naamblar2014]

Just invite a rather large Thai family over as your guests and encourage all the kids to make lots of noise.  Stand back and watch what happens if / when he starts shouting at the kids. Sorry probably not helpful but the guy is a bit of a dick if acting like that.

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Doesn't take long for a racist to crawl onto a thread like this.

Considering that British and Australians are (mostly) of the same Caucasian race, really not sure why you are waving a race card.

 

Or did I miss the horses?

[tonray]

21 hours ago, taotoo said:

Throw his bike in the pool.

 

Next story please.

...with him still on it... 

[Dazinoz]

28 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

Considering that British and Australians are (mostly) of the same Caucasian race, really not sure why you are waving a race card.

 

Or did I miss the horses?

he didn't say American or Swedish or german or any other nationality he targeted British and Australians specifically. 

[transam]

15 hours ago, NanLaew said:

He backed down otherwise he would have sorted you out then and there.

 

He cannot do anything about making you move so encourage your rowdy-assed kids to be especially rowdy when they see him. Get a Thai nickname for the guy and encourage the kids to use it loudly when they see him. Use it yourself whenever he's in earshot. Get on his goat before he gets on yours. Take the 'fight' to him.

Yes, tell the kids they must be nice to him, give him a Wai and say hello Mr.Pratt....

[MyFriend You]

Methinks MISTEEIED the poster may be what I call a "Hit & Run poster" - posts a problem then never returns to address all the suggestions, that invariblly turns out to become arguments between people that are posting replys to each other.  So  lets hope he returns to address some of the suggestions.  Until then, its a troll.   

[TKDfella]

Well, sure is some advice on here but beware. This fella may be bluffing but maybe he is a tough bully. So you (the OP) need to figure out some 'intelligent' way to deal with him. My first reaction was about the comment '...to be the sherriff of the pool and fitness area...'. Go to the Moo Ban Head and find out if that's true, that is, has he a Thai permit to do this? If in the affirmative, explain your case and see what happens. If in the negative then the 'Village' Head should take action. One thing for sure, anyone in that supposed position should give polite but firm warnings to children and if the children persist to the point annoyance a ban in writing should be issued (happened to a Thai family at a pool quite close to where I lived.)

[alex8912]

15 hours ago, NanLaew said:

He backed down otherwise he would have sorted you out then and there.

 

He cannot do anything about making you move so encourage your rowdy-assed kids to be especially rowdy when they see him. Get a Thai nickname for the guy and encourage the kids to use it loudly when they see him. Use it yourself whenever he's in earshot. Get on his goat before he gets on yours. Take the 'fight' to him.

Stupid advise. Do you think these two are the only ones in this housing pool area?  Your piece of advise will make others pissed off at him and his kids. I hope you are just being sarcastic. 

[richard_smith237]

19 hours ago, Happy Grumpy said:

Teach your unruly kids how to properly behave. Be a better parent. 

Who says his kids are unruly ?.... Kids will make noise when playing, giggles and shouts of enjoyment are hardly an example of unruly behavior - there is a line however, but nothing the Op wrote would indicate that his kids have crossed this line and are unruly or that he is not a good parent.

 

However, what you just wrote clearly identifies you as someone who jumps to negative conclusions, someone who doesn't like kids - Happy Grumpy? I'm not sure about the happy part, the Grumpy part yes... that clearly comes across in your post...  perhaps a bit sour and bitter too... 

Edited November 2, 2017 by richard_smith237

[MISTEEIED]

11 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Who says his kids are unruly ?.... Kids will make noise when playing, giggles and shouts of enjoyment are hardly an example of unruly behavior - there is a line however, but nothing the Op wrote would indicate that his kids have crossed this line and are unruly or that he is not a good parent.

 

However, what you just wrote clearly identifies you as someone who jumps to negative conclusions, someone who doesn't like kids - Happy Grumpy? I'm not sure about the happy part, the Grumpy part yes... that clearly comes across in your post...  perhaps a bit sour and bitter too... 

Thank you for your correct observations, and for being one of the very few respondents ,along with Folk guitar, Shoeless Joe,Vocal Neil, and a couple of others displaying some common sense in your analysis and suggestions.

My step child is far from unruly and ,actually i am more often than not  criticized for being too hard on him, rather than too soft.  I am considered a good parent, this is not my first rodeo,having previously raised 3 ,now grown up children.There sure are some weirdo type suggestions being put forward,  from very childish poop suggestions and child like pay back methods, right through to taking a fight to the guy...This is not what i want and is not likely to benefit anyone at all.All that does is lower myself to his level.

To another who suggested this is simply a game i'm playing and not responding yet..Hello.., i work,and have many other things to do other than spend all day on here..sorry.  I asked on this forum as it was recommended to do so, but it is far from my main priority , i just asked for some helpful advice to point me in the right direction, as this is something i have never had to deal with before. I have had a brief talk with management and have a meeting tonight to see what is the best way forward for all

The police are reticent to  be involved,in such a matter, esp westerner V westerner, except, maybe if i was severely beaten up, and even then, apparently , action is fairly unlikely.

Anyway, back to the grind now, lunch is over.