is my thai wife cheating on me?

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, crazykopite said:

Why the hell do men get sucked in by these woman especially when it’s a long distance relationship they are after one thing MONEY and anyone who disagrees needs to wake up and smell the coffee beans in 12 years of living here I have witnessed many friends who have been done out of millions of baht and end up going home absolutely skint ?

I don't know if the original post is true or just a prank. But it seems lots of guys in lots of countries are treated so bad by many women over there that even a little bit of attention from far away seems to be much better for them then what they get at home. Why else would millions of guys travel half around the globe and spent lots of money to have sex and feel "love" for a few weeks? I think it shows mainly how bad the situation in lots of counties far away from Thailand is.

[Tofer]

Get an injection of common sense, then apply it.......

[tryasimight]

6 minutes ago, Cranky said:

So you'd be cool with your missis having a couple of   'I'm available, call me'  ads on an escort site? 

That was not what I was responding to.  The point I am making is that "decent" people communicate to potential partners via the internet. Nothing new there.  The days of pen pals to look for a potential partner are ancient history as much as this may annoy some of the more ' mature' posters on this forum. 

[Wake Up]

I know you want to believe her because you believe you love her. But also that little voice tells you that she is not to be trusted. You don’t want to hear that little voice for many reasons but from reading your post your little voice is correct. Cut your losses on this relationship. We all make mistakes. Learn from this one and get out now. If she can control your emotions with words block her and make your own decision and see how she reacts. You deserve better and it will only get worse and one day she will blame you for everything. I hope I am wrong but the odds of me being right are high.

 

If you really want to test her tell her you cannot pay her anymore and see what happens. She may block you and save you a lot of emotions and cash. 

 

Good luck. You are not alone in this situation. A lot of us have seen it or been in it before. The goal is to learn from it and not to repeat and repeat and repeat. If you learn from this situation the cash you spent and distress you feel on this “love” will be worth it and save you future heartache and distress. 

[portroyal]

The money you send to her is good for The Kingdom

Thanks a lot for the family of the girl, thanks a lot for Thailand !

[portroyal]

Thank you also, because I have spent great time reading your post

Thailand needs men like you, congrats

[smotherb]

Jesus, with all these disparaging remarks, makes you wonder why anyone would hook-up with a Thai girl for anything other than a short time.

[mettech]

It has to be funny that a grown man would let this kind of situation appear it would cost a lot of money and also doomed to go sour.

Find a real Thai lady who has been around the block a few time  than you might become lucky.

[amvet]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't know if the original post is true or just a prank. But it seems lots of guys in lots of countries are treated so bad by many women over there that even a little bit of attention from far away seems to be much better for them then what they get at home. Why else would millions of guys travel half around the globe and spent lots of money to have sex and feel "love" for a few weeks? I think it shows mainly how bad the situation in lots of counties far away from Thailand is.

Look at the alternative.  Harvey and Franken and Moore and Charlie Rose.  All could been avoided if they lived in Thailand on the pay as you go system.    

 

[pailyn]

I am Thai woman married to an American 8 years ago. I have never ever demand any money nor he ever support me for my personal expenses. We are both retired living in Thailand and I am using my saved money for my personal expenses. 

 

In your case I am sorry to say that I don't think she is loyal to you. If I am man at your situation I would separate with her.

[hawker9000]

12 hours ago, OmarZaid said:

Get out ... NOW!

'Can't even imagine why he needs to come and hear this advice here.    But not the first time for such stories, and certainly won't be the last.

[swissie]

Her knowing that the OP's financial resources are basically exhausted means nothing less than the relationship is practically over.
She is trying to milk him for the last penny (eye surgery in December). After that, he will be dismissed.
Cheers.

[Kadilo]

Firstly I don't believe this is a real story.........but I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you joined to hear the experiences of all worldly TV gents.
I am trying hard to think of a positive outcome because if it's real I genuinely feel sorry for you. No one (apart from a few knobs on here) enjoy seeing someone ripped off. It's got nothing to do with where she has worked, distant relationships, supporting her or any other bull, it's all about the person and whether she is good or not.
There are horrible women from all walks of life and nationalities, you sound like you have found one. It happens.
My advice sadly would be to distance yourself from her and think about yourself and building your own self esteem.
Good luck.


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

[Acemaker]

13 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

I met my wife on Thai Friendly. School teacher - not someone looking for short time business - so TF does work! That said, I would be very concerned with your story. I know a woman in the same circumstances as you - maybe same one who knows. She worked massage, boyfriend got her a car to do a taxi business (i used it), taxi business not good, she went to work in the bars part-time until boyfriend came back, basically seeing if anything better came up. I would never recommend a long distance relationship with thai woman unless 200% sure.

I would never recommend a relationship with a thai woman period ! unless of course they pay all the Bills and pamper you morning Noon and Night.

[Acemaker]

5 hours ago, smotherb said:

Jesus, with all these disparaging remarks, makes you wonder why anyone would hook-up with a Thai girl for anything other than a short time.

I have always wondered why anybody would hook up with a Thai Girl for anything other than a short time !

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

Exit fast...

[theguyfromanotherforum]

1. You just don't meet a good Thai girl on tinder and thaifriendly.

 

2. Proof that she isn't a good girl: you are giving her money every month to be with you.

 

Seriously, are most people in relationships in Thailand morons?

[dumbdumb]

7 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't know if the original post is true or just a prank. But it seems lots of guys in lots of countries are treated so bad by many women over there that even a little bit of attention from far away seems to be much better for them then what they get at home. Why else would millions of guys travel half around the globe and spent lots of money to have sex and feel "love" for a few weeks? I think it shows mainly how bad the situation in lots of counties far away from Thailand is.

I'm not sure how to post this general followup/reply to my topic so forgive me if I have done this the wrong way.   All this, I'm sorry to say, is all too real.  I guess I expected most of these replies and my "gut" feeling has been to end the marriage.  I see too many holes in her explanations and I have lost my trust in her.  Those that advised that most long distance relationships fail are probably right and I was foolish to think I could make this work.  Do I still love her?  Yeah, I still do but that lost of trust is killing me.  It's funny how I felt like the bad guy when I confronted her and I wanted to believe what she said but that was during the moment when we were talking.  Afterwards when I had time to think I could still hear the "little voice" inside me telling me she was still lying to me.  Now she is being very nice to me and writing how she loves only me and wants future with me and it is OK if I don't come in December but she misses me too much, etc, etc, but for me, the relationship has changed.  Yes, she still says that she loves me and not my money but I see a pattern of her saying this and then later saying how she needs this money for unexpected bills or talks about how she really wants her eyes done again because they don't look good and she wants to look good for me (?!?).  I have already told her that coming to Thailand in December is too much for me (the trip would cost $4000-$5000 Canadian including her support payment and I am already in too much debt) and now she says that is OK and she understands but now I'm thinking is she saying this because she is afraid of losing me and my support if she pushes too much???  Sorry if I am repeating some of this stuff from the original post.

 

I have looked further on the internet trying to find evidence of her past and if she has other profiles.  I thought about trying to get her password, email (she keeps saying she does not have an email account) but those would/could have been "scrubbed" of any incriminating evidence...the same with her profiles.   Unfortunately, I have only a few of her user names and I have tried using social media search engines, scammer data bases, etc,  looked through other dating sites but can only see the ones that post free previews of members.  I even sent an email to a local thai detective agency.  When I talk with her I find myself believing her stories but inside I know I am being played and I can see the emotional games she is using (she is really good at that!).   Yes, I should have waited until I was living in Thailand before marrying and that WAS my plan (or until I was closer to my early retirement) but funny how everything went so fast....what an idiot.  

 

I hate doing this.  I hate how I am now so distrustful that I am looking for hidden meaning in everything she says and does.  I thank you all for your advice and think the only way I can end this is to just leave.  I will write to her and try to explain everything but I hate doing this as a letter is a cowards way out but I am worried that I am too susceptible to her and I will lose my resolve if I talk to her.  I will tell her she can keep all that I have given her as those were gifts to her and I wanted her to have a better life....I don't know how all this will end but I know that it must.   

[jacko45k]

Sounds like the usual pack of lies one would expect with smatterings of extreme drama.

Until you are living over here you aren't really supporting her and she may not want to break all ties with her alternative options.... something better may come along.

 

If you are already in debt you aren't looking like her best option are you! I think you are digging yourself into a deep hole. No savings and perhaps  years away from a state pension, do you have a good pension coming before that?

 

 

[Jim walker]

Easy answer here YES 

[rebbu]

Time to find a balcony.

[Ahab]

You already know the answer to the original question, or should know the answer. If you are still unsure, ignorance is bliss and stop asking questions.

[smotherb]

5 hours ago, Acemaker said:

I would never recommend a relationship with a thai woman period ! unless of course they pay all the Bills and pamper you morning Noon and Night.

Isn't that what all women do?

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, rebbu said:

Time to find a balcony.

Yeah, that seems like the last stupid decision many farangs make here.

[smotherb]

57 minutes ago, Ahab said:

You already know the answer to the original question, or should know the answer. If you are still unsure, ignorance is bliss and stop asking questions.

No, ignorance is not bliss, it's incomprehension.

[newatthis]

" I am conflicted and feel much stress as I am already in debt because of her and traveling in December during high season will use the last of my savings.  "

 

Don't!!!

[Ahab]

12 minutes ago, smotherb said:

No, ignorance is not bliss, it's incomprehension.

Technically they are different.

 

Ignorance is not knowing about something (could be intentional, e.g. not asking questions). Incomprehension is not being able to understand the information available (e.g. asking questions, but not understanding the answers are lies).

 

So ignorance is not incomprehension, however in this particular case "incomprehension may be bliss" since the information is already available, but obviously not fully understood.

 

Not my call, but in any relationship that goes bad there are hints, clues, or gut feelings that something is not right. The difference between being a fool and getting out early is being able to recognize that something is not kosher, and trusting what you see, hear, and in your gut know is the truth. No one can make that call for you.

[faraday]

Walk away now.

Yup, it's gonna hurt & you'll miss her.

There are good, loving & faithful ladies in  Thailand.

[OneMoreFarang]

11 hours ago, mettech said:

It has to be funny that a grown man would let this kind of situation appear it would cost a lot of money and also doomed to go sour.

Find a real Thai lady who has been around the block a few time  than you might become lucky.

Why would anybody prefer a "Thai lady who has been around the block a few time"? If she has been around the block a few times it is more likely that she knows how to extract as much money as possible from her victims. Or does anybody think such a lady would get old and wise and look for true love and don't care about money anymore?

[OneMoreFarang]

I think google image search is a wonderful invention. You take a picture of your beloved girl, which she obviously only sent to you, and then you search for the same picture with google image search on the internet. And if you find the same image a couple of times and on all those pages where you don't expect it then that should answer all your questions...