The week that was in Thailand news: The importance of keeping a straight face in Thailand

 

 

Newbies and relative newbies to Thailand – that is to say those with less than ten years of worthwhile experience – bang on about Thais saving face and losing it as though it is some badge of recognition about understanding the kingdom.

 

Everything comes down to “face” for them and all manner of ills and problems can simply be explained away by appreciating the facile notion that so long as face can be maintained then everything will be alright.

 

Losing it results in the breakdown of social order. Saving it is the temporary salvation of the nation, they opine.

 

Sure, no one except those several satang short of a baht would suggest that it does not play a substantial part in Thai life, especially public life, but there is another aspect of the word face even more pervasive that is often overlooked.

 

The ability to keep a straight one.

 

This week on Thaivisa forum and Facebook we saw a huge array of stories where officialdom in particular were obliged to show this straight side to their immensely variable visages as a series of stories stretch incredulity to the limit.

 

The straight face is interesting in Thailand. It is not like the Western straight face that is more akin to the expression poker face. Here it may well be accompanied by the semblance of a smile – what interaction in Thailand does not. Even the most vicious fights are often preceded by a Goodfellows style “get your shoeshine” grimace.

 

The Thai straight face is not really a genuine attempt to deceive – everyone knows they are exhibiting a combination of lying through their front teeth and hiding behind the social mores on which the nation teeters.

 

Yes, there is that element of face saving but sheer balls to spout absurdity in the face of all the evidence raises it to a whole new plateau of panache.

 

The first person who used it so well in the last seven days is not even a famous public official though she has become well know. Her name is Jomsap and she is the teacher who mowed down a man then claimed someone else did it.

 

She conned the Bangkok Post into investigating and taking up her case – that news media were so gung-ho to fill their news pages with investigative journalism in the name of the downtrodden that they got hoodwinked by the very people they were purporting to help.

 

The ringleader of those now charged with perjury has admitted that they were paid to take the rap for money while the constabulary look set to claw back at least a smidgen of respectability from the canyon of corruption that is their usual stock in trade.

 

Others with a straight face were more official. We had the chief of the detention center where 20 Uighurs escaped, Pol. Capt Prasit, who stated that the mass breakout occurred when “heavy rain helped to mask the loud escape noises”.

 

Then there was the army and national police chiefs who dismissed the distress of the family of the cadet who died when it was revealed that most of his vital organs had been removed. It was “just a normal procedure” we were asked to believe.

 

When the top brass realized what a mess they had made of everything they kept the straight face as they continued to keep digging their own hole as they said, rather less than kindly, that the relatives could have all the bits they had cut out.

 

What? In a plastic bag tied up with a rubber band?

 

I could only surmise that all this straight faced-ness was an attempt to outdo the northern cops last week investigating the death of the Norwegian man who they said had obviously succumbed to the cold in the icy winds and blizzards of Phitsanuloke at 30C.

 

The absurdity of the claims received as many shares and comments on Facebook as any news item this year though you may have needed a better handle on the Thai language to appreciate one of my favorite items this week.

 

It was the revelation that a former deputy interior minister has been declared “unusually rich”, that wonderful straight faced term that masks a multitude of possible sins.

 

But it was not the predictability of the term that tickled my funny bone. It was the name of the minister concerned…..Sombat.

 

A Thai word that means riches.

 

Also keeping up the good work, with as straight a face as a bat needed in the Ashes tests that started this week, were the bods of the police reform commission announcing the latest plans to devolve, (read strip) the rozzers of many of their duties (read revenue streams).

 

The plan is to hand over traffic duties in Bangkok, Pattaya and elsewhere to the local authorities, have other people handle the customs and even perhaps give immigration duties away.

 

In this regard the reformers may do better to think again. Rooster would like to see a more equitable and less corrupt nation but simply stripping the cops of these areas of responsibility begs the question that anyone less corrupt could actually be found.

 

Corruption is so endemic in Thailand that it may be a question of being careful what you wish for.

 

Still, there was some amusement to come out of the story when the committee suggested that the hapless souls at the Sports and Tourism ministry could be responsible within three years for tourism crime suppression and prevention.

 

Fortunately Khun Kobkarn’s tenure is likely to be over by that time otherwise we might have seen a serious attempt to bring down the sex industry after all – maybe funded by raising taxes on durian flavored Kit Kat.

 

Later in the week the said elegant minister was in tears defending her record as Thai media suggested she had already been given the Big Boot by Big Too in his cabinet reshuffle.

 

Staring straight into the camera this week were the football officials who had to admit that the Thai football league is more bent that a five baht note. Several Sisaket players and a well know referee are at the center of betting on matches where many late goals were scored.

 

Rooster, who adores football and when asked for my religion usually replies “Tottenham Hotspur”, has never been inspired to go anywhere near Thai football. Flicking through the channels on True one sees the paddies they play on and the pedestrian pace of the game….

 

Yes, I think I would need to bet on it too to get any interest from that bore-fest.

 

Corruption’s cousin – cheating – figures all around the world of course and is hardly restricted to Thailand’s sports. My own field of what passes for sporting endeavor, competitive tournament Scrabble, has also been rocked by cheating – a world exclusive that I broke a while back on Thaivisa even merited a satirical comment on the US show Saturday Night Live this week after it was featured in the Times of London newspaper.

 

Playing the game in Bang Na this weekend in an international event I might just make sure my opponents are not looking in the tile bag…..

 

And so to this week’s Rooster awards and seeing as I am in a generous mood there are many.

 

The “Darwin Award for Services to the Gene Pool” and the topical “Straight Face Award” both go to the same woman – the lady in the curtain hotel who was joshing about with her male companion and who picked up a gun under his pillow and fired thinking it was not loaded, wins the former.

 

And she also takes home the latter for expecting us to believe that the man was her husband.

 

The “You Must be Thai” award goes to the snake that can clearly eat anything. A sensational video showed the foundation snake catchers extricate the 4.5 meter long creature from under some concrete.

 

But the real revelation came later when the python regurgitated its lunch in the back of a pick-up – a 15 kilogram water monitor that was almost as big as itself.

 

David Attenborough eat your heart out!

 

While the “Glad You’re Not Here” award goes to Benjamin Holst the man Rooster can proudly claim to have given the moniker of “Most Hated German in Thailand”. Herr Holst has apparently now found love in the Gambia though he looked to have taken with him one of the friendly girls who hang about on upper Sukhumvit in Bangkok or Beach Road in QUOTES.

 

Personally I have nothing against Germans though to paraphrase the Major in the classic British sit-com Fawlty Towers, I wouldn’t give scammers the time of day.

 

Finally, my “Noble Act of the Week” award goes to the employee who wiped the feet of a handicapped man in a wheelchair who had clumsily dropped his knickerbocker glory down his trousers at the Central, Rayong, branch of Swensen’s.

 

I loved the incongruity of the huge number of foreign posters who just couldn’t appreciate why this might have been so widely viewed on Thaivisa. Here they were yelling to anyone who would listen that this “JUST ISN’T NEWS!!” while clicking on the story and giving Thaivisa revenue.

 

Didn’t they realize that the tongue-in-cheek translator had been winding them up into a click frenzy?

 

By being straight faced and calling her an “Angel of Mercy”.

 

Rooster, guilty as charged.

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-11-25

A week of two halves, Rooster, and like Spurs, another draw. I made it Pros 13 - Cons 13 (not counting the escaped ones).

 

Can this country get any more amazing? No doubt you'll let us know.

*OP edited out*
Comprehensive,bold and very well written.
Congratulations and thank you for bringing it up.

Sent from my ASUS_Z00AD using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

Edited December 1, 20178 yr by Scott
OP edited out

17 hours ago, rooster59 said:

even perhaps give immigration duties away.

 

In this regard the reformers may do better to think again. Rooster would like to see a more equitable and less corrupt nation but simply stripping the cops of these areas of responsibility begs the question that anyone less corrupt could actually be found.

thinking on your point, as to what other candidates exist to handle an immigration shift, in my area the local amphoe would be better suited than the RTP, unknowable the corruption side, however the arrogance and general negative attitude of the current immigration folks might be bettered

I like the sometimes quickfire answers, or have they actually been rehearsed, that you get delivered with, as the OP wrote, straight face and hint of a smile.

Local bar/restaurant changed the size of the wine glasses to about half the previous size but price stayed the same. When I asked about it the answer was that one of the staff had been sent to buy new glasses and bought the wrong size. A month later when we went back they were still using the 'wrong size'

Haven't been back since.

Things are getting so bad I am starting to think the less we know the better.

Sent from my ASUS_Z002 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

22 hours ago, rooster59 said:

The straight face is interesting in Thailand

And we all know who the Grand Master of the po-face is in Thailand. No names, no pack drill.

Overall I enjoyed the read. Nice one. However, regarding that German guy, who cares about such intricate details about another guys life. Sake of gossip? Lastly, work on the spelling errors.

Cheers

15 hours ago, Solinvictus said:

Overall I enjoyed the read. Nice one. However, regarding that German guy, who cares about such intricate details about another guys life. Sake of gossip? Lastly, work on the spelling errors.

Cheers

What spelling errors?

5 hours ago, GarryP said:

What spelling errors?

Maybe Solinvictus should take on Rooster at Scrabble......for 1,000 baht of course. 

Rooster, well observed and humourously written as always. Thank you! What people back home make of such stories, cannot be fathomed. ?

On 11/25/2017 at 4:30 PM, rooster59 said:

Corruption is so endemic in Thailand that it may be a question of being careful what you wish for.

Quite true. 

On 25/11/2017 at 4:30 PM, rooster59 said:

Newbies and relative newbies to Thailand – that is to say those with less than ten years of worthwhile experience

After 1 year you're no longer a new recruit, after 5 years you're a professional, after 10 years you're a master.