Alien invasion in Pattaya!

[Brunolem]

First time visitors strolling around Pattaya, comfortably walking on the shaded sidewalks, along the beautifully landscaped streets, usually make some encounters of a strange kind:

 

Barrel-shaped hairless creatures, dressed for the most part with tattoos, holding a bottle of beer in one hand, and a mosquito-sized girl with the other hand.

Sweaty bare-chested creatures, covered with hair, wandering around the shopping malls.

Creatures with arms the size of thighs, thighs the size of waists, and a waist that could fit in a napkin ring, moving weights and panting like dogs, in open showrooms named Tony's.

 

Obviously, humans don't look or behave like that!

 

Things get even spookier if the high value visitors venture out at night, when they are bound to come accross men who look like women, women who look like men, women who look like a sack of potatoes, grandfathers holding the hand of their granddaughters who sport T-shirts saying "I am with stupid", Chinese ants blindly following little flags, pedestrians happily breathing the heady emanations coming from the exhaust pipes of thousands of permanently stranded cars...

 

Obviously, humans don't look or behave like that!

 

With their mind whirling, the shaken visitors may come to miss the good old days of "close encounters of the third kind" when it was so much easier to differentiate between humans and aliens...

[observer90210]

Let us all waï and welcome the XXIst century in Thailand, inthat case !!

[nikmar]

"beautifully landscaped streets".....................????

[ezzra]

Is that you Trink?

[Halfaboy]

What you described is the charm of Pattaya....

[gamini]

5 minutes ago, Halfaboy said:

What you described is the charm of Pattaya....

The utter decadence and the ugliest people is what attracts tourists. 

[thaiguzzi]

2 hours ago, Brunolem said:

Barrel-shaped hairless creatures, dressed for the most part with tattoos, holding a bottle of beer in one hand, and a mosquito-sized girl with the other hand.

Sweaty bare-chested creatures, covered with hair,

Hey! I resent that remark!

I'm covered with hair AND tattoos.

[Emster23]

" First time visitors strolling around Pattaya, comfortably walking on the shaded sidewalks, along the beautifully landscaped streets,..."

Has to look at the posting date, thought this must be one from 20 years ago at least

[Suradit69]

2 hours ago, Brunolem said:

 if the high value visitors venture out at night, when they are bound to come accross men who look like women, women who look like men, women who look like a sack of potatoes, grandfathers holding the hand of their granddaughters who sport T-shirts saying "I am with stupid",

So "high value visitors." whatever that means, are normal and the standard against which all others are judged ? What a bigoted, divisive point of view.   

 

If "high value" equates to people with money or supposed influence, there seems to be a daily roll call  in the news of the high & mighty who are exposed as perverts, frauds and corrupt slime balls. Do you really think someone with money is more valued than the less affluent or that life in Pattaya is a shock to their sensitive souls?

 

 

 

[Enoon]

 

Wasted 4 secs of my life reading the first 3 lines .

 

Another 12 secs posting this.

[Dazinoz]

3 hours ago, Brunolem said:

Barrel-shaped hairless creatures, dressed for the most part with tattoos, holding a bottle of beer in one hand, and a mosquito-sized girl with the other hand.

Sweaty bare-chested creatures, covered with hair, wandering around the shopping malls.

Creatures with arms the size of thighs, thighs the size of waists, and a waist that could fit in a napkin ring, moving weights and panting like dogs, in open showrooms named Tony's.

 

Obviously, humans don't look or behave like that!

 

Things get even spookier if the high value visitors venture out at night, when they are bound to come accross men who look like women, women who look like men, women who look like a sack of potatoes, grandfathers holding the hand of their granddaughters who sport T-shirts saying "I am with stupid", Chinese ants blindly following little flags, pedestrians happily breathing the heady emanations coming from the exhaust pipes of thousands of permanently stranded cars...

 

Obviously, humans don't look or behave like that!

 

With their mind whirling, the shaken visitors may come to miss the good old days of "close encounters of the third kind" when it was so much easier to differentiate between humans and aliens...

Good to see there are still some perfect people, like yourself, left in this world.

[Destiny1990]

The question is?

[Jonnapat]

You're talking about the quality tourists the General wants to attract?

Those who spend all their time visiting temples!

[TKDfella]

Giving ET a bad name.

[Colabamumbai]

14 minutes ago, Jonnapat said:

You're talking about the quality tourists the General wants to attract?

Those who spend all their time visiting temples!

You forgot, cleaning the beach tourists.

[Brunolem]

3 hours ago, thaiguzzi said:

Hey! I resent that remark!

I'm covered with hair AND tattoos.

Did you have to shave the hair in order to get the tattoos, and then let them grow back?

[stanleycoin]

2 minutes ago, Brunolem said:

Did you have to shave the hair in order to get the tattoos, and then let them grow back?

I think your just Trolling.

[chuang]

Are they farangs hi

[Brunolem]

To answer to Suradit69 and Dazinoz, and probably others, everything that is written should not be taken literally.

 

I was trying to convey some humor in the lines above, something I obviously failed to achieve, at least in your case.

 

More generally, Dazinoz, people who write do not necessarily do it while thinking about, or refering to themselves.

[Brunolem]

8 minutes ago, stanleycoin said:

I think your just Trolling.

Just replying to Thaiguzzi's post above...

[JRUSA]

5 hours ago, Suradit69 said:

So "high value visitors." whatever that means, are normal and the standard against which all others are judged ? What a bigoted, divisive point of view.   

 

If "high value" equates to people with money or supposed influence, there seems to be a daily roll call  in the news of the high & mighty who are exposed as perverts, frauds and corrupt slime balls. Do you really think someone with money is more valued than the less affluent or that life in Pattaya is a shock to their sensitive souls?

 

 

 

Man, the OP's post sailed right over your head. I don't know how you missed the tongue in cheek gist of it all...

[SheepLover]

"Humor" and "Humour"

doesn't always work.

 

[thaiguzzi]

4 hours ago, Brunolem said:

Did you have to shave the hair in order to get the tattoos, and then let them grow back?

Any tattoo anywhere needs hair removing prior to the work, ie shaving.

[Brunolem]

14 hours ago, hyku1147 said:

I guess the OP put his knitting down in order that he could project* his deep sadness  about the lack of young shirtless muscular men upon us.

I am not sure I understand your prose, not to mention its connection with my opening post???

 

Put his "knitting" down?

In order that he could project? 

The lack of young shirtless men upon us?

 

Could you please clarify?

 

More generally, I am not sure that it is necessary to look for a convoluted explanation behind every tree, or post for that matter.

Sometimes, most of the times, things are pretty straightforward, with no hidden meaning...

[JSixpack]

Sneer by noob reversing the normal and alien for yet another bash. Reminds me of the famous ironic episode of The Twilight Zone, "Eye Of The Beholder:"

 

 

[Brunolem]

28 minutes ago, JSixpack said:

Sneer by noob reversing the normal and alien for yet another bash. Reminds me of the famous ironic episode of The Twilight Zone, "Eye Of The Beholder:"

 

Noob (see definition attached): what's that got to do with this thread?

Normal? As in seen everywhere?

 

 

[Brunolem]

1 hour ago, hyku1147 said:

I was reacting with sarcasm and Socratic irony - facts obvious to the simplest of minds.

I can see the sarcasm...it is the meaning of your text that I don't get...maybe for lack of advanced abilities in reading on my side...

[swissie]

Absolutely hilarious thread by Brunolem.

 

Sarcasm at it's finest. Perhaps hitting a bit "too close to home" for some?
Cheers.

[brling]

12 hours ago, swissie said:

Absolutely hilarious thread by Brunolem.

 

Sarcasm at it's finest. Perhaps hitting a bit "too close to home" for some?
Cheers.

Yup, it hit a nerve with the usual thin skins, ie. Mr angry 6, and S. 69. They just had to reach for their keyboards and cry and whinge

[Brunolem]

13 hours ago, swissie said:

Absolutely hilarious thread by Brunolem.

 

Sarcasm at it's finest. Perhaps hitting a bit "too close to home" for some?
Cheers.

Perhaps...