Nemises Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 The daughter of my Aussie mate has disowned him because he has a Thai GF more than 5 years younger than himself. His daughter wants him to have no further involvement with her, her husband and her infant childrens’ lives...ever again. My mate is obviously devastated because he loves his daughter. He has ALWAYS been a good father and has always given her nothing but the best eg 2 x nice cars, a University education resulting multiple degrees, a huge “no expense spared” spectacular wedding, numerous overseas holidays etc. Her criteria for an “acceptable GF” is that the GF must not be Asian and she must not be more than 5 years younger than him. Just wondering if any other Dads have ever had this happen to them and if so, how they handled it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 It has never happened to me but if I were in his position I would try to explain to my daughter that she has her own life to live as I have mine. In his case he has supported his daughter all her life so far and now it is his turn to make his own life for himself. I choose what is acceptable to me. You don't mention if his wife had died or they had divorced as the reason why he has a Thai GF but IMHO if he is happy with his Thai GF then stick with her. It is your friends grandchildren who will suffer the most from loss of contact and the problem is completely in his daughters court. Again IMHO she has no right to interfere in her fathers life especially as it involved the children and their grandfather. She sounds a bit spoilt and always wants HER own way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 It has never happened to me but if I were in his position I would try to explain to my daughter that she has her own life to live as I have mine. In his case he has supported his daughter all her life so far and now it is his turn to make his own life for himself. I choose what is acceptable to me. You don't mention if his wife had died or they had divorced as the reason why he has a Thai GF but IMHO if he is happy with his Thai GF then stick with her. It is your friends grandchildren who will suffer the most from loss of contact and the problem is completely in his daughters court. Again IMHO she has no right to interfere in her fathers life especially as it involved the children and their grandfather. She sounds a bit spoilt and always wants HER own way.Many thanks. Will pass on. He divorced his (Western) wife after he caught her cheating. Hence his aversion now towards Western women. His daughter is fully aware her mother cheated and she is also aware her Dad wants a GF from a different culture. It made no difference, the daughter is not backing down on her position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mauGR1 Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 2 minutes ago, Gregster said: Many thanks. Will pass on. He divorced his (Western) wife after he caught her cheating. Hence his aversion now towards Western women. His daughter is fully aware her mother cheated and she is also aware her Dad wants a GF from a different culture. It made no difference, the daughter is not backing down on her position. Typical youth selfishness, it will probably go away, eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 An 'acceptable' girlfriend is no more than 5 years younger than himself or herself -- in many cases herein the new Thai GF would be 5 years younger than the daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsensam Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 and has always given her nothing but the best eg 2 x nice cars, a University education resulting multiple degrees, a huge “no expense spared” spectacular wedding, numerous overseas holidays etc. and therein may lie the problem... there's more to being a parent than opening your wallet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 He and his daughter were always “good mates”. They shared many interests and had a lot of quality time together, especially after separating from her mother. He was anything but a “parent who just opened his wallet for her”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcab Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 I completely agree with @billd766. I would add that his ex wife is undoubtedly stirring the pot behind the scenes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
varun Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 (edited) Sounds like the daughter has grown up to be an entitled ungrateful <deleted>. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, after all. Tell your friend to duly note his daughter's disapproval and carry on with his life. It would be wise to cease all contact with this kind of person. If there is a chance that he can recoup any of the 'investment' made in his daughter - property and/or assets, he should do so now. Edited December 14, 2017 by metisdead 8) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 I completely agree with [mention=5614]billd766[/mention]. I would add that his ex wife is undoubtedly stirring the pot behind the scenes.No....The ex and him have remained friendly. The ex was horrified after she read what the daughter wrote to him. The ex demanded the daughter apologise to him for some of her inappropriate content, which she (the daughter) did the following day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Been there done that Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 5 hours ago, Gregster said: No....The ex and him have remained friendly. The ex was horrified after she read what the daughter wrote to him. The ex demanded the daughter apologise to him for some of her inappropriate content, which she (the daughter) did the following day. So if its all cleared why this topic ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Been there done that Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Personally i think the daughter is trying to prevent her father from making another mistake with a woman again. She seems to me like a well raised and caring daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 (edited) 6 hours ago, Gregster said: He and his daughter were always “good mates”. They shared many interests and had a lot of quality time together, especially after separating from her mother. He was anything but a “parent who just opened his wallet for her”. His daughter is being an incredibly selfish <deleted>. You can tell her I said that. A good daughter would be more concerned about her father's happiness, not what she finds acceptable in her own little warped view of the world. He doesn't need her approval. He should stand his ground...she'll come to her senses. If she has any sense. Edited December 14, 2017 by metisdead 8) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 An offensive post has been removed, other posts have been edited to remove remarks in violation of the following: 8) You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages, vulgarities, obscenities or profanities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 7 hours ago, JLCrab said: An 'acceptable' girlfriend is no more than 5 years younger than himself or herself -- in many cases herein the new Thai GF would be 5 years younger than the daughter. But acceptable to who is the real question. The guy or his daughter? It is his life that he is living, and not hers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seajae Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 could be jealousy, I have seen it happen before, daughter wants dad to herself and tries to tell him who he can and cant date/go out with, could also be because she doesnt want competition when he dies. He needs to set his daughter straight, let her know that if she tries to force his hand he will wipe her from his will, if she is prepared to stop him from being happy with his life then he needs to return the favour and let her know that the money stops when she stops him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 I think that he should listen to his daughter, ditch the girlfriend and find a model 20 years younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberfarang Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 2 hours ago, Been there done that said: Personally i think the daughter is trying to prevent her father from making another mistake with a woman again. She seems to me like a well raised and caring daughter. That`s my guess too. We don`t know where her father met this woman or the woman`s social status. Could be a bargirl or a gold-digger. Maybe the daughter is trying to make pops see the writing on the wall that he`s being taken for a mug. There are always two sides to every story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 6 hours ago, billd766 said: But acceptable to who is the real question. The guy or his daughter? It is his life that he is living, and not hers. See Post #1 for initial 'acceptable' reference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 That`s my guess too. We don`t know where her father met this woman or the woman`s social status. Could be a bargirl or a gold-digger. Maybe the daughter is trying to make pops see the writing on the wall that he`s being taken for a mug. There are always two sides to every story. The daughter has absolutely NO interest in GF’s “social status” or how wealthy she is or where they met. All that matters (to the daughter) is whether or not GF is “ASIAN” and “more than 5 years younger” than him. As mentioned in post #1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 could be jealousy, I have seen it happen before, daughter wants dad to herself and tries to tell him who he can and cant date/go out with, could also be because she doesnt want competition when he dies. He needs to set his daughter straight, let her know that if she tries to force his hand he will wipe her from his will, if she is prepared to stop him from being happy with his life then he needs to return the favour and let her know that the money stops when she stops himThanks. But the daughter is fine for her Dad to live overseas and be with who he wants. She wants her Dad to live his life as he sees fit and for him to be happy. However should a GF be Asian/5 yrs younger than him, he is not to have any contact with the daughter and her family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 (edited) I have a somewhat similar situation in USA with my brother's wife #3 who is a Southern 'cracker' and for whom my existence in Thailand with much younger women is anathema. When I visit USA, I spend a few hours with my brother with whom I get along just fine before his wife returns from work and then, a few tense hours later, I leave. Edited December 14, 2017 by JLCrab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 14, 2017 Author Share Posted December 14, 2017 So if its all cleared why this topic ? The trauma my mate is experiencing has not “cleared”. I was hoping to obtain advice/suggestions from Forum Dads with much younger Asian partners who have had this happen to them. As mentioned in post #1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 (edited) It appears to me that the daughter has been spoiled by her fathers well meant over reach into her life.....With the divorce in place between her parents she feels herself entitled to reap the rewards once daddy passes on - the princess position.... Now, dad is an ocean away with a younger woman....Daughter is both jealous & threatened - her control over her father is diminishing by distance, outlook, and a culture she doesn't know or understand - and she doesn't like it..... She wants the pot of gold & the choice of the old folks home to slam him into the instant he starts declining - with all documents signed = in her direction..... The last thing the daughter wants is for dad to be attended to by a youngish, capable woman - an Asian woman.... Dad should live his life & seek his happy moments.....He's done enough to please an already grown (spoiled) daughter.....There's no reason for him to remain under her thumb.....Blackmailed for perpetuity..... Edited December 15, 2017 by pgrahmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuckamuck Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I think the real issue is not the 5 years thing, No one cares in the west if a man is with a woman 5 years younger, that is nearly the standard age difference IMO. I think what it really is, is the stigma of the rent-a-wife from Asia scenario. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 The daughter is being very unreasonable. He should get on with his life, and wait for her to accept it. In time she will, or the relationship with the Thai girl will end and the daughter will be able to say "I told you so". Sent from my SM-A500F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Given the 2 scenarios above, I would tend to agree more with the Canuck than with PGrahmm. To some people a relationship as described is evil and unholy -- whether married or not -- and they do not want to subject themselves and/or their families to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 (edited) 10 hours ago, Been there done that said: Personally i think the daughter is trying to prevent her father from making another mistake with a woman again. She seems to me like a well raised and caring daughter. More likely daughter is trying to keep her cash cow. Never underestimate the greed and selfishness of a white woman. Edited December 15, 2017 by MaeJoMTB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 4 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said: More likely daughter is trying to keep her cash cow. Never underestimate the greed and selfishness of a white woman. If the daughter says hook-up with whomever you want just stay away from me and my family if you go the young Thai GF route, then the father can re-marry or just write the daughter out of his will so I don't see the above scenario as the most likely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevkob Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 OP no matter what advice you receive from TV someone is going to be unhappy. Either daddy will be alone again and resentful of daughters interference, Or daughter is unhappy because her access to daddy ATM is blocked by his asian lady. And 5 years is nothing, actually I'm struggling to see any issue with 5 years age difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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