5 Years In Los And Still Don't Understand . .

[lannarebirth]

Ah, the problems of Thai wives....

I would be much happier if I packed my wife off back to Issan for a few weeks, to try to encourage her to be a little more honest. Right now, my anger is primarily because I have been lied to and not been party to this problem when it first reared it's head.

Our marriage is strong, but she really does 'try' my patience at times... (don't they all?)

Simon

You may be right Simon, a few weeks away might do you some good. I have another question. Why did the parents of the gf return the travellers checks in story 1, but the wifes son took the checks in story 2? I mean the parents really came to your house, right? Everything else is just a story so far, right?

[bkkmadness]

Ah, the problems of Thai wives....

I would be much happier if I packed my wife off back to Issan for a few weeks, to try to encourage her to be a little more honest. Right now, my anger is primarily because I have been lied to and not been party to this problem when it first reared it's head.

Our marriage is strong, but she really does 'try' my patience at times... (don't they all?)

Simon

Sounds to me like you are trying to somehow justify her behavior because she is a 'Thai wife' or before because of the 'Asian culture'.

All women are going to try a man's patience at times, but not all lie to their husbands to get money out of them. Not in what I would call a strong marriage anyway. You're on the second story now and you told us you are not even sure if that's the truth!

[Robski]

Ah, the problems of Thai wives....

I would be much happier if I packed my wife off back to Issan for a few weeks, to try to encourage her to be a little more honest. Right now, my anger is primarily because I have been lied to and not been party to this problem when it first reared it's head.

Our marriage is strong, but she really does 'try' my patience at times... (don't they all?)

Simon

Pack her off for a week or two, she'll have time to consider what she has and what she could lose, what her priorities are.

As for the money, well that is still the sticking point isn't it, if you're going to pay it to keep the peace do it as a loan with some security, otherwise you're not going to see it again and it will continue to cause resentment.

[bkkmadness]

Your wife works at the resort you have now doesn't she? She used to work at your bars before that? Probably managing them? I expect she has a wage and some savings, tell her to pay it.

Sending her back upcountry, what good will that do giving her a holiday from work? She knows she'll be back after the holiday. She knows that she is not going to lose anything. It's no punishment for her, she's not a child, why treat her like one?

[YaiJung]

Personally I can't believe Simon is even considering paying one baht. Why should he be held accountable for the irresponsiblity of his wife's nephew? The whole idea that they would even come to him is absurd and just goes to show what they think of him. They are BSing him on numerous occasions and he still doesn't know the truth.

Simon, u are getting WORKED and its up to u to put a stop to it or else bend over and keep on taking this BS from them. You are the only one who is gonna suffer in the end.

[Acquiesce]

Why did the parents of the girl come to Phuket and return the travellers checks if the nephew stole them?

I can smell BS here.

[terry57]

if a wife is lying to ones husband , its a recipe for disaster.

how can a man trust his wife if he has caught her out lying to him?

done it once, will do it again.

isn't "trust" the main thing a relationship is based on.

in my books it is, and i'd be having serious thoughts about where my relationship was going if i was in this guys shoes.

forget all the other crap thats been going down.

what about the lying bit.

[SamuiJens]

Personally I can't believe Simon is even considering paying one baht. Why should he be held accountable for the irresponsiblity of his wife's nephew? The whole idea that they would even come to him is absurd and just goes to show what they think of him. They are BSing him on numerous occasions and he still doesn't know the truth.

Simon, u are getting WORKED and its up to u to put a stop to it or else bend over and keep on taking this BS from them. You are the only one who is gonna suffer in the end.

Right! Simon, have you ever heard of Simon says? Simon says NO Baht to family(Period).

[SamuiJens]

if a wife is lying to ones husband , its a recipe for disaster.

how can a man trust his wife if he has caught her out lying to him?

done it once, will do it again.

isn't "trust" the main thing a relationship is based on.

in my books it is, and i'd be having serious thoughts about where my relationship was going if i was in this guys shoes.

forget all the other crap thats been going down.

what about the lying bit.

Trust is the main thing, you're right there Terry.

[longway]

Ah, the problems of Thai wives....

I would be much happier if I packed my wife off back to Issan for a few weeks, to try to encourage her to be a little more honest. Right now, my anger is primarily because I have been lied to and not been party to this problem when it first reared it's head.

Our marriage is strong, but she really does 'try' my patience at times... (don't they all?)

Simon

for what its worth i dont think ur wife is trying to rip u off. i suspect u still havent ahd teh full story yet. she was probably just trying to deal with a shitty situation she had been landed with. but she shudnt have lied to you and at some point she lost the plot.

personally i would make it clear she would have to butter me up good for the next week or two to make up for the lies. and definitely dont pay the comp. or whatever it is. its got nothing to do with u or ur wife (unless she was the one setting the 2 up). hopefully ur wife wont do something similar in the future.

i dont think that the parents turning up with the TC sets off alarm bells, they were sent down to negotiate so sending the TC with them makes sense.

[mrbojangles]

for what its worth i dont think ur wife is trying to rip u off. i suspect u still havent had the full story yet. she was probably just trying to deal with a shitty situation she had been landed with. but she shudnt have lied to you and at some point she lost the plot.

Only Simon know's his wife but for what it's worth, i think the same as this. She was probably just telling "White lies" to make it easier and that's not same. IMO

Sometimes it's easy for us (farang) to forget, there is a language barrier and some things aren't easy to explain. So it's often easier "NOT" to tell everything. I still do it with my Mrs, if i'm feeling kêe-gìat i.e. i'll be on the phone for about an hour and the Mrs says "what was that about" and i say "blah, blah, blah" she says "what" and i say "oh, it was nothing terak"

[bendix]

Am i the only person who's starting to feel a bit uncomfortable at how personal this is getting?

Frankly, Simon, dirty laundry is best washed indoors, away from the gawping masses.

[Robski]

Am i the only person who's starting to feel a bit uncomfortable at how personal this is getting?

Frankly, Simon, dirty laundry is best washed indoors, away from the gawping masses.

I think you are Bendix.

Pehaps we can all see aspects of this situation that have happened in our own lives.

[beammeup]

One of the nice things about America, as opposed to Thailand is, that a family like this probably won't have a beautiful daughter that you're willing to marry and suffer these abuses.

Huh? Are you on the droid mix there, lannarebirth?

Not sure what that is Jet. I was just thinking what a nice lesson this was for the visiting American, and in the end it didn't cost him anything. I hope the OP is as fortunate.

Um, I'm still lost here. Mind you, I need coaching every baby step. Besides being bereft of common sense (not a joke) I am dyslexic, schizophrenic, obsessive compulsive, manic depressive and occasionally deaf, dumb and blind. I play good snooker.

Ahhh! that explains why you dont like Canada

[allexx]

Yep, would be nice if the girl actually said sorry, but she hasn't... I suggested to the family that I phone up the American guy and for the girl to tell him in English, Thai, Lao or whatever that she was sorry. My wife couldn't understand why the girl should apologize to the guy.

Simon

Now you know your wifes IQ.

Dammit . . now I got coffee on my computer screen! Not funny.

I agree, it’s not funny, quite opposite. It’s sad when you don’t understand to apologize to the US guy who lost 1000$ in t-checks stolen from a fam.member.

[Heng]

Yeah, another case where the people involved are more relevant than the cultures involved. You are dealing with thieves and dishonest folks.

[Neeranam]

This boy had previously got into a fight down here in Phuket with the son of an 'influential guy'. This made problems for me and my wife and (yet again), money had to change hands to ensure that our new hotel was not targeted for retribution. After that, my wife sent this boy back to his village.

Another case of a useless piece of **** male in the family. I wish I had a pound for every case I've seen. The best thing to do is pay the army 20,000 baht to make sure he gets in. Advice I heard once was never marry a Thai country girl who has a son - nothing but problems.

I would be much happier if I packed my wife off back to Issan for a few weeks

I'd make sure she knew if she ever tried to rip me off(lie) again she'd be packed off for good.

[meom]

Am i the only person who's starting to feel a bit uncomfortable at how personal this is getting?

Frankly, Simon, dirty laundry is best washed indoors, away from the gawping masses.

Yeah I think the whole story is a wind-up and the OP is having some issues with his wife which they better sort out together.

[pumpuiman]

Why did the parents of the girl come to Phuket and return the travellers checks if the nephew stole them?

I can smell BS here.

Yes, Simon........What the heck is the story with the parents of the girl?

Are you lying?

Did you forget this part of the story?

But it would have been rather nice of the parents to 'wai' me when they visited my wife. They waied her very respectfully but ignored me

HELLO SIMON? are you there?

Edited January 18, 2007 by pumpuiman

[RAZZELL]

16 year old family friend who had been cleaning the room.

This girl was due to 'marry' the 18 year old son of my wife's sister.

Maybe the 16 year-old girl was not as "chaste " as she used to be because of the 18 year-old boy

Perhaps this is why she's being paid?

Edited January 18, 2007 by RAZZELL

[wasabi]

I've totally lost what has even happened, the girl didn't steal it, some boy did, and now there's some element about needing to keep the peace due to a fight? I guess there's no point in trying to unravel a series of lies since there is no foundation of truth to discover other than greed.

This whole story invokes pleasant memories of seeing the ex-wife off at the airport never to be seen again.

[TRIPxCORE]

I'm still waiting to hear story # 3. Surely another story will be forthcoming if Simon still doesn't budge with the money.

[BKK90210]

I'm still waiting to hear story # 3. Surely another story will be forthcoming if Simon still doesn't budge with the money.

Hmm...the plot is thicken

Me too...can't wait....but got to go pee pee first, will be back with more popcorn!

Next episode please!

[simon43]

Yep, very complex and an ever-changing story, - as is often the case here in Thailand! But as a previous poster commented, you don't want to wash your dirty laundry in public etc.

Mods - can you close this thread? I will sort out this issue offline!

Simon

[TRIPxCORE]

Yep, very complex and an ever-changing story, - as is often the case here in Thailand! But as a previous poster commented, you don't want to wash your dirty laundry in public etc.

Mods - can you close this thread? I will sort out this issue offline!

Simon

Oh c'mon Simon. You can't get us all lathered up like this only to cut us off cold turkey!

Just joking, just do what you have to do.

[zzdocxx]

Disclaimer: Very difficult to understand a situation just from reading the details the OP has posted from his perspective.

Might be good to regularly downplay your relative wealth, you can start with hard luck stories of financial reversals.

Here is another one: You are concerned that your hotel business is about to undergo a significant downturn, because the word is going around in farang tourist circles about how your friend was subjected to this dishonesty, and the integrity and honesty of your resort is now in question.

Just brainstorming here. Maybe you could work in something about ghosts, or a dream you had which was an omen, or some such.

This is a real page-turner. It evokes such outrage, reminiscent of some felt betrayal or deceit. The emotional response is what makes it addicting.

Keep us posted, I wish you luck.

[Neeranam]

Might be good to regularly downplay your relative wealth, you can start with hard luck stories of financial reversals.

I don't have and never have had any money and they still don't believe me.

OP - no chance.

[Totster]

Topic closed at OP's request

totster