Thai women going from farang back to Thai men?

[Happyman58]

3 hours ago, Thongkorn said:

Has anyone answered why they leave and go back, Or is it only one way,The Thai girls fault.

You know i agree with you  I have seen some farang men treat there Thai wives second rate Its called no respect for your partner I respect every one  

[observer90210]

Cannot generalize, but I have a few lady friends in Europe (in their early or late 30ies, properly educated, socially and physically ok etc.),  who only get turned on with guys that treat them like real shit. Something unexplainable in these women, turns them "On" at the start of the relationship, that naturally does not always last,  as the guy is a obvious jerk.

Female dynamics, guys....even Freud had to admit that he just could not understand the whole damm thing ...

 

 

Edited January 5, 2018 by observer90210

[Thai Ron]

18 hours ago, atyclb said:

 

 

some do, some dont.    

 

rent, dont buy

 

get a dog and high speed internet

 

live on ground floor

Quick amendment - 

 

rent borrow, don't buy

 

Free sex given by a woman who genuinely finds you physically attractive is the most gratifying of all.

Nothing like literally being begged to return to bed

 

Of course, if one has no choice but to rent or buy, it can still be rewarding but don't open your eyes while kissing her (if she lets you French kiss her, that is)

It's gotta be pretty soul-destroying to see a woman's eyes squeezed tightly shut in a grimace as she kisses you

[Thai Ron]

On 1/3/2018 at 3:49 PM, Kadilo said:

Good. Long may it remain. Their loss our gain. 

Gain? 

If you mean taking on a financial burden in the form of another man's spawn, then yes, I suppose that is a gain.

I automatically reject any Thai woman - regardless of how smoking hot she is - the very instant I learn of a child in the background.

 

Thai women who claim to only like farang men because "Thai man no good" are just full of sour grapes.

No solvent, self-respecting Thai man wants them so they do what a lot of farang men do when they discover that no decent-looking, fit Western wants them.....

They slag off the entire group

 

It's not quantum physics, people

[Ulysses G.]

35 minutes ago, Thai Ron said:

Of course, if one has no choice but to rent or buy, it can still be rewarding but don't open your eyes while kissing her (if she lets you French kiss her, that is)

It's gotta be pretty soul-destroying to see a woman's eyes squeezed tightly shut in a grimace as she kisses you

Sounds like a personal problem. They won't go with you if that is how they feel. Some are very enthusiastic and some are not, but unless it is forced prostitution - not common in Thailand anymore - they will simply choose someone else.

[Thai Ron]

Just now, Ulysses G. said:

Sounds like a personal problem. They won't go with you if that is how they feel. Some are very enthusiastic and some are not, but unless it is forced prostitution - not common in Thailand anymore - they will simply choose someone else.

A personal problem??

It's entirely possible but I think a young woman is more likely to be put off by the thought of the tongue of a 65+ year old probing her mouth

[jayboy]

On 12/31/2017 at 1:23 PM, Gecko123 said:

1. As people have become more saavy, the average financial payoff for a Thai girl looking to hit the jackpot by batting her baby blues has probably gotten smaller. Some women, those mainly motivated by mercenary considerations, decide that the smaller payoffs are not worth the effort.

 

2. Demographics have shifted. Thai women are more in demand - both from Thai men and men from other Asian countries - than they were 20-30 years ago. Also, the economy has changed during this period, providing more educational and occupational opportunities to women, making many women feel less pressured to enter into a relationship for strictly financial reasons.

 

3. The government has gone to great lengths to stigmatize Thailand's sex industry, and in the process made many Thais feel more self-conscious about being in a  relationship with a foreign man. Many Thais automatically assume that any Thai woman with a foreign man is a sex worker, and many Thai women feel that this loss of social status isn't worth whatever other benefits they receive from the relationship.

 

4. In Jared Diamond's book, The Third Chimpanzee, he points out that most often people choose mating partners who resemble themselves, thus the default attraction for Thais is other Thais. Foreigners who imagine otherwise, are kidding themselves.

  

I agree all your points with the exception of (3) which while not "wrong" needs a caveat.What you say about stigma would certainly be true in the period following the American R and R invasion during the Vietnam War.However that was because almost the only area of contact between foreigners and Thais was in the sex industry.Less so since then as many other areas of contact have opened up

[atyclb]

1 hour ago, Thai Ron said:

Quick amendment - 

 

rent borrow, don't buy

 

Free sex given by a woman who genuinely finds you physically attractive is the most gratifying of all.

Nothing like literally being begged to return to bed

 

Of course, if one has no choice but to rent or buy, it can still be rewarding but don't open your eyes while kissing her (if she lets you French kiss her, that is)

It's gotta be pretty soul-destroying to see a woman's eyes squeezed tightly shut in a grimace as she kisses you

 

i take it your post is after successful therapy for having seen her tightly shut eyes grimacing. 

[atyclb]

34 minutes ago, Ulysses G. said:

Sounds like a personal problem. They won't go with you if that is how they feel. Some are very enthusiastic and some are not, but unless it is forced prostitution - not common in Thailand anymore - they will simply choose someone else.

 

 

depends on how hungry she is or rent time

[Thai Ron]

Just now, atyclb said:

 

i take it your post is after successful therapy for having seen her tightly shut eyes grimacing. 

Nah

It's not something I've ever had to contend with.

I did say "It's gotta be soul-destroying" as in "I don't know from experience but...."

[JLCrab]

Some Thai girls are kinky and just want to go back and tell their friends that they screwed a chocolate bunny.

[atyclb]

On 1/1/2018 at 12:11 AM, Thongkorn said:

Must admit from the way some Falang   treat their Thai wifes , I don't  blame the Thai women for going back to Thai men, got one near  me in the Uk , she is a gorgeous 30 year old, She had a son with her Husband not so long ago, where was he when the baby was born in the UK , He was in Phuket with his girlfriend, The dumb shit only went and put his video on Youtube while there, I Am assisting her to take him to the cleaners, as he has a lucrative Business, He deserves all he gets, you hear about Bad Thai women but not Bad Falang men.

 

 

cool. after she finishes with "the cleaners" which bar will she be returning to in thailand?

[NonthaburiBear]

4 minutes ago, JLCrab said:

Some Thai girls are kinky and just want to go back and tell their friends that they screwed a chocolate bunny.

Kinky & Quirky...thats why most farangs fell in love with ...most man having bad relationship with thai women ,even comeback for more Thai women. maybe because its hurts so good...55555

[Kadilo]

49 minutes ago, Thai Ron said:

Gain? 

If you mean taking on a financial burden in the form of another man's spawn, then yes, I suppose that is a gain.

I automatically reject any Thai woman - regardless of how smoking hot she is - the very instant I learn of a child in the background.

 

Thai women who claim to only like farang men because "Thai man no good" are just full of sour grapes.

No solvent, self-respecting Thai man wants them so they do what a lot of farang men do when they discover that no decent-looking, fit Western wants them.....

They slag off the entire group

 

It's not quantum physics, people

Individual choice. Clearly I'm not interested in what thai men do or don't do and my views on another persons "spawn" differs from yours. Each to their own. 

 

[metisdead]

Some offensive posts have disappeared.

[Morch]

A few of my wife's friends married foreigners. All women are university graduates, most have their own job/business. As far as I recall, there was one who divorced her husband after a few years, mostly (according to her) to do with his alcohol induced tantrums (he was dismissed from the school he was teaching at for the same reason). A couple of years later, she got together with a Thai - sounds like a nice guy, and certainly an improvement on the previous one.

 

[Coconutman]

One for love one for money.

[Gecko123]

2 hours ago, jayboy said:

I agree all your points with the exception of (3) which while not "wrong" needs a caveat.What you say about stigma would certainly be true in the period following the American R and R invasion during the Vietnam War.However that was because almost the only area of contact between foreigners and Thais was in the sex industry.Less so since then as many other areas of contact have opened up

I agree with you that as Thailand's economy has developed there has been a broadening of opportunity for contact between foreign men and Thai women, but the widest channel of contact, especially for tourists, remains the bar/disco scene and the on-line dating scene which is often (vis-a-vis foreign men looking for Thai women) little more than casual and not-so-casual prostitution in disguise.

 

When Prayut made his speech several years ago about Thailand's poor image in the world as a haven for sexual tourism and criminality,  I think things really began to change in terms of attitudes towards farang male - Thai female couples. I also have observed on television some very subtle negative messaging about Thai women who hook up with foreign men for money gain. Several episodes of Fa Mi Taa (channel 7, Saturday afternoons) have depicted Thai women who get involved with foreign men in an unfavorable light. On another series, a greedy mother was unfavorable depicted pressuring her daughter to accept the advances of a wealthy foreigner who was sexually interested in her. There are also regular reports on the news of foreign men who assault, murder, or exploit Thai women, which seems to have woken people up to the reality that getting involved with foreign men isn't always necessarily a bed of roses.

 

In a small village, everybody knows how the girl met her boyfriend. When a girl disappears for a few months or years and suddenly comes back to the village with an overweight, chain smoking, hard drinking guy who can't speak a word of Thai, nobody is going to believe her when she tries to tell everybody that she was his secretary at his import-export business, especially if they know that she dropped out of school in 8th grade and was at the bottom of her class. I am convinced that the struggle to overcome this social stigma is a big part of the reason some of these women are so avaricious in terms of relentlessly trying to extract money from their boyfriends/husbands. The material benefit she receives doesn't just have to be sufficient to give her a reasonably comfortable life (as the guy might otherwise believe ought to be sufficient.) It has to also be sufficient to overcome the loss of social stature of being labeled a former sex worker. She needs to be able to say 'Look at all the benefit I'm receiving from being with this man, so all you people who are looking down on me can stick it where the sun don't shine.' With many guys looking to settle down in Thailand after retirement, I think many of them may be finding that while their fixed incomes may be enough to support a Thai wife, their income isn't sufficient to satisfy the expectation that his money will be sufficent to offset the loss of social stature which accompanies getting involved with him, hence the return to a Thai guy becomes a more attractive social option.

 

Edited January 6, 2018 by Gecko123

[jayboy]

22 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

I agree with you that as Thailand's economy has developed there has been a broadening of opportunity for contact between foreign men and Thai women, but the widest channel of contact, especially for tourists, remains the bar/disco scene and the on-line dating scene which is often (vis-a-vis foreign men looking for Thai women) little more than casual and not-so-casual prostitution in disguise.

 

When Prayut made his speech several years ago about Thailand's poor image in the world as a haven for sexual tourism and criminality,  I think things really began to change in terms of attitudes towards farang male - Thai female couples. I also have observed on television some very subtle negative messaging about Thai women who hook up with foreign men for money gain. Several episodes of Fa Mi Taa (channel 7, Saturday afternoons) have depicted Thai women who get involved with foreign men in an unfavorable light. On another series, a greedy mother was unfavorable depicted pressuring her daughter to accept the advances of a wealthy foreigner who was sexually interested in her. There are also regular reports on the news of foreign men who assault, murder, or exploit Thai women, which seems to have woken people up to the reality that getting involved with foreign men isn't always necessarily a bed of roses.

 

In a small village, everybody knows how the girl met her boyfriend. When a girl disappears for a few months or years and suddenly comes back to the village with an overweight, chain smoking, hard drinking guy who can't speak a word of Thai, nobody is going to believe her when she tries to tell everybody that she was his secretary at his import-export business, especially if they know that she dropped out of school in 8th grade and was at the bottom of her class. I am convinced that the struggle to overcome this social stigma is a big part of the reason some of these women are so avaricious in terms of relentlessly trying to extract money from their boyfriends/husbands. The material benefit she receives doesn't just have to be sufficient to give her a reasonably comfortable life (as the guy might otherwise believe ought to be sufficient.) It has to also be sufficient to overcome the loss of social stature of being labeled a former sex worker. She needs to be able to say 'Look at all the benefit I'm receiving from being with this man, so all you people who are looking down on me can stick it where the sun don't shine.' With many guys looking to settle down in Thailand after retirement, I think many of them may be finding that while their fixed incomes may be enough to support a Thai wife, their income isn't sufficient to satisfy the expectation that his money will be sufficent to offset the loss of social stature which accompanies getting involved with him, hence the return to a Thai guy becomes a more attractive social option.

 

Interesting theory in your Para 3.I simply don't have the experience (on line dating etc.Are girls who seek foreigners this way really "sexworkers"?) to comment all that knowledgeably but you may well be right.My instinct tells me however that the type of couple you refer to (fat prole sex tourist/grasping farmer's daughter) is a real (check out Upper Sukhumvit) but minority - and probably declining - subset.I know many long established farang/Thai couples where one doesn't inquire too closely where they first met but where the relationship is OK and doesn't seem to have the money nexus you describe.Having said that they tend to mix socially with similar couples.As an amateur sociologist I have often wondered why one village girl with a scarlet past can transform into a middle class matron with excellent social skills whereas another girl with same background can't be mistaken for other than what she was.

[Thai Ron]

35 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

I agree with you that as Thailand's economy has developed there has been a broadening of opportunity for contact between foreign men and Thai women, but the widest channel of contact, especially for tourists, remains the bar/disco scene and the on-line dating scene which is often (vis-a-vis foreign men looking for Thai women) little more than casual and not-so-casual prostitution in disguise.

 

When Prayut made his speech several years ago about Thailand's poor image in the world as a haven for sexual tourism and criminality,  I think things really began to change in terms of attitudes towards farang male - Thai female couples. I also have observed on television some very subtle negative messaging about Thai women who hook up with foreign men for money gain. Several episodes of Fa Mi Taa (channel 7, Saturday afternoons) have depicted Thai women who get involved with foreign men in an unfavorable light. On another series, a greedy mother was unfavorable depicted pressuring her daughter to accept the advances of a wealthy foreigner who was sexually interested in her. There are also regular reports on the news of foreign men who assault, murder, or exploit Thai women, which seems to have woken people up to the reality that getting involved with foreign men isn't always necessarily a bed of roses.

 

In a small village, everybody knows how the girl met her boyfriend. When a girl disappears for a few months or years and suddenly comes back to the village with an overweight, chain smoking, hard drinking guy who can't speak a word of Thai, nobody is going to believe her when she tries to tell everybody that she was his secretary at his import-export business, especially if they know that she dropped out of school in 8th grade and was at the bottom of her class. I am convinced that the struggle to overcome this social stigma is a big part of the reason some of these women are so avaricious in terms of relentlessly trying to extract money from their boyfriends/husbands. The material benefit she receives doesn't just have to be sufficient to give her a reasonably comfortable life (as the guy might otherwise believe ought to be sufficient.) It has to also be sufficient to overcome the loss of social stature of being labeled a former sex worker. She needs to be able to say 'Look at all the benefit I'm receiving from being with this man, so all you people who are looking down on me can stick it where the sun don't shine.' With many guys looking to settle down in Thailand after retirement, I think many of them may be finding that while their fixed incomes may be enough to support a Thai wife, their income isn't sufficient to satisfy the expectation that his money will be sufficent to offset the loss of social stature which accompanies getting involved with him, hence the return to a Thai guy becomes a more attractive social option.

 

Nice

Careful, though, you run the risk of bursting a lot of people's bubbles.

[Gecko123]

54 minutes ago, jayboy said:

Interesting theory in your Para 3.I simply don't have the experience (on line dating etc.Are girls who seek foreigners this way really "sexworkers"?) to comment all that knowledgeably but you may well be right.My instinct tells me however that the type of couple you refer to (fat prole sex tourist/grasping farmer's daughter) is a real (check out Upper Sukhumvit) but minority - and probably declining - subset.I know many long established farang/Thai couples where one doesn't inquire too closely where they first met but where the relationship is OK and doesn't seem to have the money nexus you describe.Having said that they tend to mix socially with similar couples.As an amateur sociologist I have often wondered why one village girl with a scarlet past can transform into a middle class matron with excellent social skills whereas another girl with same background can't be mistaken for other than what she was.

The older (and much older) guy is still very much the main demographic in terms of who settles down in Thailand with a Thai wife, although there are certainly some younger guys living here who work overseas and come and go. In the villages, the vast majority of guys living full time are 50+ years old. The only difference I've been able to discern over the years is that today the women they are hooking up with are older, more overweight and generally less attractive than in the past, although I would add that due to rising levels of educational achievement they are often better educated, or at least more proficient in English than in years past.

Edited January 6, 2018 by Gecko123

[jayboy]

16 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

The older (and much older) guy is still very much the main demographic in terms of who settles down in Thailand with a Thai wife, although there are certainly some younger guys living here who work overseas and come and go. In the villages, the vast majority of guys living full time are 50+ years old. The only difference I've been able to discern over the years is that today the women they are hooking up with are older, more overweight and generally less attractive than in the past, although I would add that due to rising levels of educational achievement they are often better educated, or at least more proficient in English than in years past.

I have to admit I don't know any Farang-Thai couples living in villages.

[atyclb]

4 hours ago, hyku1147 said:

Walking  ATM season is upon us.

 

do i see more than 1 handsome man?

[amexpat]

On 12/31/2017 at 10:54 AM, Kerryd said:

Do you really think that Thai girls prefer old, fat, lazy white guys twice (or thrice) their age that spend most of their time propping up a bar stool and barely speak a word or 2 of Thai

You need to find some other friends. 

[speedtripler]

10 hours ago, Thai Ron said:

Nice

Careful, though, you run the risk of bursting a lot of people's bubbles.

Don't worry, everyone here is only married to hi - so wealthy elite chinese Thai wives who were educated abroad and had never seen a cock before they met their teerak...... 

[mitsubishi]

On 1/3/2018 at 7:38 AM, speedtripler said:

The question is not whether or not the woman would go back

It's whether the Thai  man would let her come back... 

Damaged goods and all that.... 

I think it's oftentimes a case of that for them to leave Thai men to farangs in the first place...;)

[theguyfromanotherforum]

21 hours ago, hyku1147 said:

Walking  ATM season is upon us.

 

This pic always makes me laugh because it really looks like a robbery 

[sklmeeera]

On 12/31/2017 at 10:54 AM, Kerryd said:

I've heard numerous stories of Thai women "going back" to a Thai man after having been with a foreigner. In many cases, the girls viewed being with a foreigner as an "occupation" and when the job "ended" (for whatever reason), if she had enough money to pay off the family debts and buy a house (etc, etc) she'd go back to her home village and get (back) together with her high school sweetheart (who may or may not have dumped her years earlier after knocking her up). 

Every time I hear a Thai woman say she prefers foreigners over Thai men I have to laugh as you can almost see/smell/feel the lie as it is so strong. It is one of the first 3 or 4 phrases almost every bar bar girl learns within hours of arriving in Bangkok/Pattaya/Phuket. 

(Hello sexy man. I love you ! I only start working here this week ! I not like Thai man, only like farang man !)

It's not true in every case of course but look at it. Do you really think that Thai girls prefer old, fat, lazy white guys twice (or thrice) their age that spend most of their time propping up a bar stool and barely speak a word or 2 of Thai (and have absolutely nothing in common), or young Thai guys around their own age that speak the same language and have a lot in common (and similar cultural values). 
Especially when a lot of those old fat foreigners are only looking for a (free) bed warmer/cook/maid (and cheat just as much as any Thai guy).
I've seen the way a lot of foreigners treat the women they are with and it's almost amazing that they can find someone that wants to be with them at all (and probably helps explain how many of those guys were divorced in their home countries, repeatedly in some cases). 

It's not really surprising to think that some (many/most) Thai women would "go back" to a Thai man after having been with a foreigner.
 

I think you hit the nail on the head there absolutely .

[ChiangMaiLightning2143]

I've heard numerous stories of Thai women "going back" to a Thai man after having been with a foreigner. In many cases, the girls viewed being with a foreigner as an "occupation" and when the job "ended" (for whatever reason), if she had enough money to pay off the family debts and buy a house (etc, etc) she'd go back to her home village and get (back) together with her high school sweetheart (who may or may not have dumped her years earlier after knocking her up). 

Every time I hear a Thai woman say she prefers foreigners over Thai men I have to laugh as you can almost see/smell/feel the lie as it is so strong. It is one of the first 3 or 4 phrases almost every bar bar girl learns within hours of arriving in Bangkok/Pattaya/Phuket. 
(Hello sexy man. I love you ! I only start working here this week ! I not like Thai man, only like farang man !)

It's not true in every case of course but look at it. Do you really think that Thai girls prefer old, fat, lazy white guys twice (or thrice) their age that spend most of their time propping up a bar stool and barely speak a word or 2 of Thai (and have absolutely nothing in common), or young Thai guys around their own age that speak the same language and have a lot in common (and similar cultural values). 
Especially when a lot of those old fat foreigners are only looking for a (free) bed warmer/cook/maid (and cheat just as much as any Thai guy).
I've seen the way a lot of foreigners treat the women they are with and it's almost amazing that they can find someone that wants to be with them at all (and probably helps explain how many of those guys were divorced in their home countries, repeatedly in some cases). 
It's not really surprising to think that some (many/most) Thai women would "go back" to a Thai man after having been with a foreigner.
 

Funny. Every Thai girl at a bar admitted to me to working "two weeks".

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

[The Oracle]

On 31/12/2017 at 1:23 PM, Gecko123 said:

1. As people have become more saavy, the average financial payoff for a Thai girl looking to hit the jackpot by batting her baby blues has probably gotten smaller. Some women, those mainly motivated by mercenary considerations, decide that the smaller payoffs are not worth the effort.

 

2. Demographics have shifted. Thai women are more in demand - both from Thai men and men from other Asian countries - than they were 20-30 years ago. Also, the economy has changed during this period, providing more educational and occupational opportunities to women, making many women feel less pressured to enter into a relationship for strictly financial reasons.

 

3. The government has gone to great lengths to stigmatize Thailand's sex industry, and in the process made many Thais feel more self-conscious about being in a  relationship with a foreign man. Many Thais automatically assume that any Thai woman with a foreign man is a sex worker, and many Thai women feel that this loss of social status isn't worth whatever other benefits they receive from the relationship.

 

4. In Jared Diamond's book, The Third Chimpanzee, he points out that most often people choose mating partners who resemble themselves, thus the default attraction for Thais is other Thais. Foreigners who imagine otherwise, are kidding themselves.

  

Your Point 3., above, is spot on.  My other half won't travel with me to Pattaya (again) because of that very reason.  And I don't blame her.  
It also made me feel I should have to justify to (farang) people that she hadn't met before that she's not in "the industry".
It's not worth the hassle. 

Side point: Why do I go to Pattaya?  Well, every six weeks or so, I go to catch up with a very close friend who has been living there for 26 years working in the oil industry.  Oh, and to buy second-hand books. I only go down to Naklua for Friday night beers, speak English, and drive back home on the Sunday.