The Funny Things The Girls Say!

[FreedomDude]

Quotes from A recent Valentine's Card I received:

"Only you can make me love you!"

"Your Boy, ((name withheld))" Xxx's Ooo's

Edited March 4, 2005 by FreedomDude

[jonik]

Lars what do you think of the new honda called "fitta".Fitta meaning pussy in norway.They did NOT import it cause of the name.

back to topic. I dated a girl who always said bodie instead of people.Creating a lot of laughts at times. "was to many bodies in toilet" , "is it many bodies in norway".

[jayenram]

In the snooker t'other day, one of the guys was attempting to teach a girl assistant a few words of English. He held up the rest and asked her what it was called. "Sirry stick", she replied. She had picked up the name we give to the rest - silly stick.

[lampard10]

In the snooker t'other day, one of the guys was attempting to teach a girl assistant a few words of English. He held up the rest and asked her what it was called. "Sirry stick", she replied. She had picked up the name we give to the rest - silly stick.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know. I know. Then he held up a cueand she said,

'Fog and mist'

[dereklev]

Last night my wife wanted to sleep without the aircon as the baby has a cold.

We put the fans on and it was still quite warm so I opened the windows.

She then said, what sounded like, "take care of the garden".

A strange request for 11pm especially as I had watered it at dusk.

She kept repeating "take care of the garden", and gave me that very special you dumb farang look that Thai women seem to love.

Eventually she got up and opened the curtains and said see now I "take care of the garden"!!!!!

I nearly wet myself laughing

[chanchao]

Idon'tgettit

[Jai Dee]

Idon'tgettit 

You must be having a slow one today chanchao...

garden <=> curtain

[Spee]

Is this the T-V record for longest running thread??

Might as well add in my 2B worth ...

- When my honey wants to talk about everyone or everybody, she says "body-body." Took a while for the tumblers to click when she first said it, but now it makes sense (jing-jing, glai-glai, etc.)

- This one actually caused a disgreement between us after we first me. I was worried that she didn't care for me. She said "I worry family. I don't know you." I took this literally, when in actuality she was trying to say that she worries about her family but she doesn't worry about me (because I am ok).

- But the best one for her and me was early in our relationship. She said "I stubborn ok. You stubborn, no good." I couldn't stop laughing for what seemed like a half hour.

Keep 'em coming! Great stuff! Laughter is the best medicine!

[BIG SPUDS]

My Gf like most thais cannot say words starting with the letter "r".

Loom, load,lat,lound you get my drift.

no matter how many times i try and make her say "RRRRRRRRRR" "r" it always comes out "LLLLLLLL" "L"

but ive almost cracked it.

She can say "errr" so i make her say "err - oom"

she keeps repeating it, putting the 2 together getting faster and faster until it comes out perfect!

"well done" i say, "now say it again"

"loom"

Why?????

[dragonmasterzip]

My Gf like most thais cannot say words starting with the letter "r".

Loom, load,lat,lound you get my drift.

no matter how many times i try and make her say "RRRRRRRRRR" "r" it always comes out "LLLLLLLL" "L"

but ive almost cracked it.

She can say "errr" so i make her say "err - oom"

she keeps repeating it, putting the 2 together getting faster and faster until it comes out perfect!

"well done" i say, "now say it again"

"loom"

Why?????

   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is common in China, Japan and Thais and has to do with the soft tongue. This is also why your pronunciation of some words in Thai sound so weird.

Rather than think of R use a "swallowed Ah" and tell her to hold the tip of her tongue down.

There is a famous and funny book in Japan called "Is that R as in London? No, it is L as in Rome." In which the person actually then got the spelling correct!

[joe beets]

GF on the phone -"I'm 300 meters in, at the goduck."

So I wandered up the soi, looking for something like a gold duck.

About 500m. later, no gold ducks, I call, tell her where I am, and she picks me up.

"Goduck?" I ask.

"Yes, right there," she says, as we drive past the Kodak sign.

jb

[meadish_sweetball]

My Gf like most thais cannot say words starting with the letter "r".

Loom, load,lat,lound you get my drift.

no matter how many times i try and make her say "RRRRRRRRRR" "r" it always comes out "LLLLLLLL" "L"

but ive almost cracked it.

She can say "errr" so i make her say "err - oom"

she keeps repeating it, putting the 2 together getting faster and faster until it comes out perfect!

"well done" i say, "now say it again"

"loom"

Why?????

   

This is common in China, Japan and Thais and has to do with the soft tongue. This is also why your pronunciation of some words in Thai sound so weird.

Rather than think of R use a "swallowed Ah" and tell her to hold the tip of her tongue down.

There is a famous and funny book in Japan called "Is that R as in London? No, it is L as in Rome." In which the person actually then got the spelling correct!

It is not about the tongue. Adopted Asians raised in Western countries learn to distinguish between L and R sounds just like the rest of us if they come early enough. (The older you get, the harder it is to readjust your inner catalogue of phonemes (the sounds that make up words).

Cambodians all distinguish fine between L and R because it is an important difference in their language. Thais dont because they understand eachother from the context anyway and because the difference between L and R hasnt been there for a long time in many of the dialects. In everyday spoken Thai, it is expected by that R comes out as L and L sometimes comes out as R.

Also, in consonant sound clusters like "khr" "khl" and "kl" "kr", the second sound sometimes disappears completely.

[devildog683]

Got a new one to add here..... I was in Thailand last month and she asked what a word i had used meant. Referring to her English-Thai dictionary i said "look it up". She "looked up" at the ceiling and said "what, i dont see anything."

[Insight]

Got a new one to add here..... I was in Thailand last month and she asked what a word i had used meant. Referring to her English-Thai dictionary i said "look it up". She "looked up" at the ceiling and said "what, i dont see anything."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Reminds me of an email I got from an Thai ex a while ago. You usually expect the closing line of an email or letter to be something like...

"Best Regards," or...

"Yours Faithfully," or...

"Yours Sincerely," or...

"Take care," or...

"Love,"

No. Not with this one:

"Look up yourself,"

[johng]

While visiting my relatives in London over Christmas

My girlfriend was flicking through the TV channels and saw

HM. Queen Elizabeth II delivering the traditional christmas message on the BBC.

The second paragraph was this.

"Religion and culture are much in the news these days, usually as sources of difference and conflict"

My girlfiriend turned to me and asked why is the queen talking about cornflakes ?

Today a customer came into our shop and asked for a coffee he looked confused when she said yes ok and pointed to the printer... she thought he asked for a copy.

[Richard W]

Today a customer came into our shop and asked for a coffee he looked confused when she said yes ok and pointed to the printer... she thought he asked for a copy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Which is odd when you recall that Thais use the English word 'copy'. I've been momentarily confused myself when asked to photocoffee things. Perhaps alliteration appeals.

[dragonmasterzip]

My Gf like most thais cannot say words starting with the letter "r".

Loom, load,lat,lound you get my drift.

no matter how many times i try and make her say "RRRRRRRRRR" "r" it always comes out "LLLLLLLL" "L"

Why?????

   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is common in China, Japan and Thais and has to do with the soft tongue. This is also why your pronunciation of some words in Thai sound so weird.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is not about the tongue. Adopted Asians raised in Western countries learn to distinguish between L and R sounds just like the rest of us if they come early enough. (The older you get, the harder it is to readjust your inner catalogue of phonemes (the sounds that make up words).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry I was meaning the habitual use of the tongue, when I was saying soft tongue. English is a very tongue flapping-mouth moving language. Chinese and Japanese do not move lips as much.

Southern Chine3se have an easier time with some English sounds because they move their mouths more than Mandarin speakers.

Thais seems to move their lips and mouth qite a bit, but when I listen to the sounds, I sense they do not use a "hard" tongue, but one which is relaxed and soft.

Absolutely love the Look up.

My wife used to call my Swiss army knife a Sesame knife. Which is how we say it now in our house just for fun.

[LivinLOS]

One very cute one my GF came out with..

Sitting having something to eat.. Mossies eating feet and ankles.. ploblem with Smokey Toes..

Since then Smokey Toes they are !!!

[JAG]

Dah-ling, I look news TV, falang monk no 1 die .

[siamesekitty]

Okay, here are 2 for the other side (gotta try to balance things out here ):

1. Quite a few years ago in one of my college courses, a group went up the front of the class to begin their presentation. After a couple of minutes my farang lecturer stopped the girl who was presenting, saying "mai fang... mai fang!" (ไม่ฟัง = I'm not listening). The whole class was shocked , wondering if it was that bad, until we realized he was trying to tell the girl to speak up a bit louder, he couldn't hear her! (ไม่ได้ยิน = I can't hear you!)

2. Exchange student friend of mine went to buy one of those pink-colored sweetened milk drinks. They are called "nom yen" (นมเย็น = literally means cold milk). Pointing the the jug they had on the counter, she said "khor nom chompoo" - May I have some pink boobs? (nom นม = milk or breasts, chompoo ชมพู = pink) Needless to say, the lady was pretty amused.

She's gonna kill me if she sees this, now see why I say I don't want friends and family visiting this site?? (see this currently hot topic Letting Outsiders Into Our World..., Do they know who you are?)

Um, and sorry mr.j, I mean no disrespect at all sir, just trying to give an example of the difficulty most people have in trying to gain a comprehensive understanding of a foreign language. Hope you're not reading this though.

Edited April 4, 2005 by siamesekitty

[mike_l]

Lots more of these , makes for funny reading A few from there that made me laugh....

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My friend told me that she went to the resturant for food and she asked the waiter for a straw but she didn't know how to say so she said " excuse me, may I have something to suck?" so the waiter just looked at her and giggled!!!

----------------

My American co-worker just came back from his lunch break and walked towards me. I wanted to ask him if he clocked back in. But my tounge messed up on the word I pronounced. I misplaced "L" in the sentence.

What I thought: Hey! are you back on the c"L"ock?

What I said: Hey! are you b"L"ack on the cock?

(He must think I have a gay fantasy....)

----------------

During a semester break when I was 15, my parents had me participate in a one-month summer course in the States.

On the first day,my aged host family said something funny to me. And she said "I'm kidding."

Then, I told her "NO, you are not a kid. You are so OLD!" (I did not mean to be rude, frankly)

Thanks God, she did not get angry.And we had a good time together until I left.

----------------

While my host family and I were driving out of town, the couple were talking about something which I didn't attentively listen to.

The host mother: "........yeah...it is kinda pain in the ass"

I said " Oh....do you want to go to the bathroom? We can stop then!"

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This is my aunt's story. She was working as a secretary. Her boss asked her to type a happy birthday card to John.

Her boss : "Ok, you can type happy birthday John blah blah blah"

my aunt finished with the message "Happy Birthday John BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Her boss laughed like crazy after he saw her msg.

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This happened on the second day I arrived in USA. I was still on jetlag and very tired. I went to the community college with a friend to do an errand. A girl behind me stepped on my foot and said "Oh! I'm sorry!" I was started and suddenly replied, "You're welcome!" ..................

A second later I realised why that girl looked so suprised and I started to run!

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มีอีก เพื่อนผมจะซื้อตั๋ว ไป New York "JFK"

" What is your destination ?"

"KFC"!!

ขำแตกกกกกกกกเลย!!

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When I was here in the first year, one day I went down to have breakfast with my host family before going to college.

This is what happened:

Her son: Sorry, my mom just got a toothache. She can't cook us this morning.

Me:wow! (since I didn't know how to express my feeling with the right word)

Her son (looking at me with anger):What so wow?

I didn't have breakfast that morning.

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ผม: Is there anything wrong??

Customer: No..no, the food is perfect. She is pregnant.

ผม: (ด้วยความ panic และสุภาพจัด) oh..I'm sorry...

Customer: .... errrr... It's ok.. it's not your fault!!

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พี่ชาย: Sir.. (นั่น.. เริ่มสะดี..)

Waitress : yes??

พี่ชาย: May I have "strong water" please !!!

Waitress : ???????

----------------

We went to a summer vacation in Thailand during April. One of my American friends asked me how to say "I'm hungry i n Thai". I taught him "Pom Hew+". He practiced ti quite well. Next day, we went to have dinner with my friends and family at a restaurant in Bangkok. He said it out loud "Pom Hee+". The whole table was completely silent. I fixed him a bit on what he meant was he's hungry. Later, I told him what exactly he spoke out. He's "Oopps, sorry dude" - [heheh]

[Merlin]

overheard a few years back - a couple of TGs talking to each other:

"stupid farangs - why do they like the air cold and the water hot?"

[dog]

Another thing my GF says which i think is funny is "COCK -LOW- S"  - Cockroach!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife calls' them Peters!,way no idea .

[BIG SPUDS]

I am a courier for DHL, and when i phone my GF sometimes while i am out on the road she asks me 'do i have lots of work?'

Now i know how to say i am full when i have just eaten.... 'im'

so i said my van was 'im'. apparently 'im' only means full of food.

My Gf finds this hilarious, and now every day she asks me if my van is hungry or is it 'im', in thai.

My van has now become a person, which eats, drinks (petrol), and gets sick (needs repairs).

[lecter]

the girls struggle at the Office with these vistors...

Ron

Vaughan

and...

worse still

Yyvonne (which they think is an evil incarnation of the other two)

Casey is always Crazy..

funny......

on a trip to Manila with an African Guest called TiTi, we had to rename him for the duration as it was hard for them to concentrate after they were introduced. He became "Bob"

Edited April 7, 2005 by lecter

[Padkapow Guy]

My wife is afraid to go to Phuket. She said there might be another "Salami" on the way. I told her I hope so because I am hungry. She had a confused look on her face until I told her that salami is a lunch meat.

[Neeranam]

I get a laugh when Thai girls try to say shrimp crisps.

I guess Thai guys would be funny too.

[bino]

Today we were driving to Athens in the car and I have something of a cold.

I started sneezing....

My Wife: "You be flu."

Wanting to correct her English, I said, "No. You 'have' the flu."

My Wife confused: "No, you have the flu. I not have flu."

Enjoying this thread and laughing like crazy. Prompted me to make my first post.

The girls in my office are a great source of laughs when we try to communicate. One day I sneezed out loud. My secretary asked me a few minutes later...

"Why you hate me?"

My reply... "I don't hate you at all! What makes you think that?"

She said... "You shout out loud HATE YOU" (ah choo!)

Everyone in the office laughed for days after that. We still do whenever anyone sneezes.

Another time, she was trying to tell me about sea urchins... couldn't find the word so she described it as "Lambutan Sea" !!

More to come... as I remember them!

[maikee]

My wife came out with a pretty clever one today.

We were on the way to the school supply store when she was trying to explain to me this special kind of pencil our daughter wanted.

She was making hand gestures and said kind of shyly "It's like Apollo". I wasn't sure if I was to believe what she just said so I asked "What did you say???" She was really embarrassed and leaned over in my lap laughing. I kept pressing her to explain as I knew what she meant I was just really surprised at the example she used.

So I said, "Are you talking about Apollo, the rocket that went into space?" Again shyly, she responded "Yes".

When we got to the supply shop, I asked her to show me the "Apollo pencil". Sure enough, it was one of those "multi-stage" pencils with separate little "lead capsules" that can be "ejected".

I'm still smiling about that one.

[Zarkow]

Just because I'm typing this post I have forgotten most of the events, but in general - even though my wife has always been good at english, she and all of her friends have been learning 'thai-english'. That is, she is acctually better then me at spelling. But they can't pronounce the words. Often putting the focus on completely different sections then intended by the language.

I will give you an example...a few years back, we where sitting in an restaurant.

She askes me:

She: - "Do you want a slut?"

Me: - "Um..."

She: - "I might take a slut..."

Me: - "..."

She: - "...a chicken slut maybe...I like the dressing too."

So there we have it...'sallad'...and this have happened on several occasions. Seems like they speed through the first part of the word and for whatever reason, only elongiates the end of the word. =)

Btw, told her some days ago that 'on the forum' you used the term 'TiT' = This is Thailand. She looked at me with sharp eyes like I stabbed her country...but with a glance like it was all with a tounge-in-cheek-approach ofcourse.

We went shopping in the weekend and tried finding a new pair of shoes and the sizes...wouldn't add upp (lower number where bigger then other brands higher number, and the shoes wasn't even for us, and we only have a number!), so she turns to me and says - "TiT."

Well, I laughed anyway. =)

Edited May 23, 2005 by Zarkow